Sept. 4, 2013, 2:14 p.m.
Oh Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone?: Family Reunion
M - Words: 6,639 - Last Updated: Sep 04, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 23/? - Created: Jun 28, 2013 - Updated: Sep 04, 2013 233 0 0 0 0
The four members of the Hudson-Hummel family just stood in silence at the front door, reunited after seven months. All the attention was focused on the youngest member as he just stood there, his eyes staring at the brickwork next to the open front door. Carole looked like she just wanted to fling her arms around her stepson, hold him close, smother him with kisses and never let him go but she stopped herself. Burt had told his wife what her stepson had gone through and she didn't want to hurt him. Finn was just staring at Kurt with wonder shining in his eyes as though he had never seen the smaller boy before. Finn had desperately missed his brother and was taking in how different Kurt looked. He saw Kurt as his brother, rather than just a stepbrother, and had been distraught when he had received the call from Blaine to discover that Kurt was missing. Burt was watching his son as he was reunited with his stepmother and stepbrother with concern as Kurt was standing there with a blank expression on his face. Kurt didn't know how to act. He had dreamt about being reunited with his loved ones for so long but for some reason he felt incredibly awkward. How was a situation like this supposed to go? Was he just supposed to stroll into the house and make some joke about his absence of seven months? There was nothing to joke about Kurt's situation and why he hadn't been around. Being home was a step to returning to his life before New York and fitting back into life in Lima.
Carole was the first to break the silence, "Well let's get you two inside. You must be exhausted after that flight."
Carole hated the small talk but she hoped that Kurt would open up in the privacy of his own home and when he was surrounded by his family who loved him with all their heart.
Burt smiled at his wife, "That'd be a good idea. We've had a long day."
Finn reached out and took the bag off Burt, "Here, let me get that for you."
Burt smiled at Finn as he handed the bag over. He could see how happy Finn was to have Kurt home. Carole and Finn led the way into the house with Burt bringing up the rear. They all headed into the living room and Burt immediately sank into his armchair, his eyes still locked on his son. Finn placed the bag next to the stairs and quickly sat down on the edge of the sofa, glancing eagerly at his family members. Carole went to sit down but she noticed Kurt was just standing in the middle of the living room looking lost. He didn't know what to do or how to act. This was all too much for him; it was all happening so quickly. Carole took a deep breath as she knew there was a chance the boy she saw as her own son would reject her. She walked over to Kurt and stood in front of him. Carole slowly reached out and put her hand on her stepson's bony shoulder. Kurt's bright glaz eyes met her green eyes with bewilderment.
"Are you okay sweetie?" Carole asked softly, knowing it was a silly question as her eyes took in the fact her stepson was standing in front of her after all this time.
Kurt didn't reply and just stared at the woman in front of him. Carole could feel her husband and son's eyes on them as they all waited for Kurt's response. To everyone's surprise, Kurt suddenly threw himself at Carole and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her shoulder. Carole was stunned for a second before she quickly wrapped her own arms around Kurt and pulled him close. She held her stepson to her and placed a kiss to his temple, trying to hold back the tears. The last time she had hugged Kurt was before he got on the plane to New York and here they were seven months later. Kurt let out a shuddery gasp as he relished in Carole's embrace. The young boy just couldn't help himself and started sobbing into his stepmother's shoulder. He had tried to keep his emotion under check but it couldn't be contained any longer.
Carole reached out and ran her fingers through Kurt's hair, holding him closer, "It's okay sweetheart. Let it all out."
Carole raised her head and immediately saw her husband's face. He was staring at his little boy with so much pain in his expression it made her want to cry.
Kurt lifted his head slightly and managed to gasp out, "I missed you Carole."
That was what did it for Carole. She was unable to stop the tears from falling, no matter how hard she tried to remain strong for her family.
"Oh God Kurt I missed you too! I'm so happy you're home!" Carole cried, holding the boy tighter against her chest.
Suddenly a pair of arms enveloped the pair hugging and joined in with their embrace. Finn had started crying himself, watching his mother and the boy he viewed as a brother cry while embracing. He couldn't take it anymore and had wrapped his arms around his loved ones. Kurt had been extremely surprised at first and had gone to flinch away before realising a cry Finn had joined his and Carole's hug. He shifted his position slightly so he was hugging both of the Hudson members of the Hudson-Hummel family. He could feel Finn resting his chin on the top of his read and hugging him tightly. A moment later the three of them were joined by Burt as he embraced his family. The Hudson-Hummels all clung to one another in their group hug; the first time they had all been together since the adults had put their children on a plane to New York. There was not a dry eye in the house as the news sunk in that Kurt Hummel was finally home. He was home after being missing for seven months. The family had had dark moments when their hope was bleak and they didn't know if their family would ever be complete. Kurt himself had resigned himself to a life in Thomas Manson's prostitution ring so he still couldn't quite believe he was actually free. He was still expecting to wake up and find out that the last couple of days had been a dream. He was clinging onto being with his family as much as possible and didn't want it to end.
"I don't want to ever wake up," Kurt whispered to himself, thinking he was dreaming but also wanting to be told that it actually was real life and that he was awake and safe.
"Son..." Burt started, knowing where his son's frame of mind was, "This is real life. You're home and you're safe. When you go to sleep later on, you'll wake up still in our home in Lima. It's over Kurt, you're home."
Kurt just stared at his Dad as more tears fell, "I can't believe that it's over."
Carole and Finn both hugged Kurt tighter, knowing that Kurt needed them. Burt just held his family, full of emotion over everything that had happened over the last couple of days, let alone months. After a long time of embracing one another, the family eventually pulled apart.
Carole leaned in and kissed her stepson's cheek, "I'm so happy you're home. I know I've said it before but it's the truth sweetheart. Life isn't the same without you Kurt."
Kurt just looked at Carole, still taking everything in. Carole once again put her hand on Kurt's shoulder, examining his frame and taking in how skinny and gaunt the seventeen year old boy looked. She wanted to cry even more at the sight of him as Kurt looked completely different to the sixteen year old boy who had headed to New York to compete in Nationals. He may be taller but he was severely underweight and it was obvious. It pained Carole to know that, according to Burt, Kurt had actually put on weight since being admitted as he still looked so frail. What had those men in New York done to him?
Carole smiled tentatively at Kurt, "You must be hungry or thirty sweetheart. What would you like?"
Kurt's eyes widened and he quickly turned to look at his father for help.
Burt smiled sadly at Kurt, before turning to address his wife, "I think a glass of water and some toast would be a good idea for now."
Carole nodded before heading into the kitchen. Burt quickly followed her in there and pulled the woman he loved into a much needed hug. Carole hugged her husband back, both of them needing the comfort and strength.
While their parents were in the kitchen, Finn had embraced Kurt again and the two brothers were sharing a moment.
"Dude I missed you so much," the taller boy said, holding Kurt to him, "It's not the same without you here. You definitely make the best warm milk when we have our little chats before bed."
"Don't call me dude," Kurt muttered, causing Finn to burst out laughing despite the fact he was struggling not to cry again.
"Oh how I've missed you always telling me off," Finn said, still letting out a few chuckles, "Seriously Kurt, I'm so happy you're back. I've missed you dude... Kurt."
Kurt felt the corner of his mouth twitch at that, "Finn I don't always tell you off. I missed you so much too. And Finn... I don't mind if you call me dude as I've missed that to."
Finn hugged Kurt tighter, letting a few tears fall as he knew Kurt must have really missed him, "Wow I never thought you'd say that."
Carole and Burt came back into the living room to see their two sons embracing. The sight brought tears to their eyes.
"Kurt, Finn?" Burt said softly, not wanting to startle the two boys, "Dinner is on the table."
The two brothers pulled apart and Finn wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders as they headed towards the kitchen.
Finn looked down at his little brother in concern, "Jesus Kurt! How bony are you? I knew you looked skinny but I can practically feel your bones!"
Kurt didn't reply to what Finn had said. He didn't know how to respond to that. He would have to tell Finn that he had been starved and only rarely allowed a stale slice of bread to live on so that he would keep living to provide a certain service. He sat down in his seat at the kitchen table and looked at his family. He had had dinner with them so many times but he had never fully appreciated it. Looking around at his family now, Kurt savoured the moment knowing he was finally home.
"Finn, just let Kurt eat his toast," Carole said gently as she finished serving up everyone's dinner before sitting down herself.
Kurt tried to smile at Carole, but he knew it was more of a grimace, before picking up a piece of toast. It was his first proper food in months. He took a bite and allowed himself to relish in the taste. It might just be a piece of toast but it certainly made a difference from a piece of stale bread. Kurt only managed just over one piece of toast before he felt as if his stomach was going to explode. He was no used to eating so much in one sitting. He would have to ease himself back into eating food properly.
"I'm full thank you," Kurt whispered as he put the remaining piece of toast back on the plate.
"But you hardly ate anything!" Finn exclaimed as he stared at the toast on the plate.
Carole shhed her son, "Sweetie, if Kurt says he's full then he's full. Kurt honey are you feeling tired?"
Kurt nodded in response, feeling as if he could fall asleep at the kitchen table.
"I'll help him upstairs," Burt said as he stood up, "I'll bring up your glass of water for you son."
Kurt looked at Carole and Finn, "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."
They both stood up at the same time as Kurt and one after the other, they wished him goodnight and hugged once more tightly. Burt held out his hand and Kurt took it, allowing his father to lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. It was so strange seeing his room again after so long. Everything looked exactly the same as it had seven months but it looked like it hadn't been lived in, which was of course true. Everything might have looked the same but so much had changed in that period of time. The boy whose room it was had changed. He was a completely different person.
Burt put the glass of water on the bedside table and turned to his son, "Do you want some help getting changed kiddo?"
Kurt nodded in reply, "Yes please Dad. Can you get me some pyjamas?"
Burt quickly went to Kurt's chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of pyjamas, while the boy himself sat down on the edge of his bed still taking in his bedroom.
"Are these okay?" Burt asked his son, holding up the pair of pyjamas that he had picked.
Kurt eyed the clothes before replying, "Um Dad... they might be a bit too big for me."
Burt looked at the clothing in his hand before looking back at his son, "You might be right there."
Kurt could see that his father was at a loss of what to do so he stepped in, "I'll wear those tonight and we can sort out clothes another time."
The father smiled sadly at his son, remembering a time when clothes were Kurt's world, "That sounds good Kurt."
Burt helped Kurt gently remove his T-shirt and his Dalton sweatpants before slowly helping him put on his too big pyjamas on his skinny frame. They had to roll them at the waist to at least try and stop them falling down. It showed how much weight Kurt had lost since the last time he had been home due to the hell he had lived through in New York. Burt helped Kurt get under the covers of his bed and tucked him in. The father sat on the edge of the bed and reached to stroke his son's hair.
"How do you feel?" he asked quietly, watching his son's face for any reaction.
Kurt bit his lip and looked away, "Overwhelmed, I feel so overwhelmed at the moment. I just feel that I'm dreaming and it's going to kill me when I wake up on that flea ridden mattress in that basement."
"Hey look at me," Burt said, making sure Kurt was meeting his eyes, "You are never going back to that hellhole again. You are home and you are safe with everyone who loves you so much. I promise you Kurt that you're safe and I promise you that I won't let anything like that ever happen to you again."
"I love you Dad," Kurt whispered tearfully.
Burt leaned in and kissed his son's forehead, "I love you too Kurt, so much. I'm so happy to have you home."
The father and son smiled at one another before Burt eventually got up and walked over to the door, looking back at his son who was already drifting off to sleep. He smiled sadly and switched the light off, feeling content with the knowledge that his son was home and safe in his bed.
Kurt rolled over, letting his body sink into the mattress. His eyes made out the photographs on his bedside table in the dark. He could make out his family photos, the New Direction photos, the Warblers photos and the few with him and Blaine. His eyes finally settled on the photograph of him and Blaine posing for a picture after he had been crowned Prom Queen. All that seemed so long ago and life seemed so much simpler back then. Kurt's bigger problem was that he had some stupid Neanderthals on his case. So much had changed. Kurt couldn't help but smile at the sight of the boy he loved. He had missed him so much. And with Blaine on his mind Kurt fell asleep, feeling safe and loved for the first time in seven months.
(break)
The following day had been an extremely busy day for the Hudson-Hummel family. As the family hadn't felt that it was right to truly celebrate Christmas without Kurt, the house had barely been decorated at all. They had all bought gifts for one another however as the adults knew it was unfair on Finn to completely ignore the holiday. The family had bought gifts for Kurt as well, just in case. When they had found out Kurt was alive and coming home, Carole and Finn had gone Christmas shopping. The tree was up but they had waited for Kurt to come home to help decorate it. They were hoping it would be a truly magical Christmas.
When Kurt had woken up the next day and he had realised he was in his own bed, he had cried. He had buried his face into his pillow and allowed himself to weep. Burt had come in to check on his son and had been horrified to see the sight of his son bawling his eyes out. Kurt had managed to stammer out something about it not being a dream and that alone had caused Burt to shed a few tears. Burt had gathered his son up in his arms and comforted the boy, knowing that he would do anything to help his son.
When Kurt had had a bath, got dressed once again into a T-shirt and sweatpants and headed downstairs, he was hugged by both Carole and Finn who was just so happy to see him. They had explained that they were going to make the house Christmassy as the celebration was only four days away. Kurt was happy that he was able to celebrate the holiday with his family but he just wasn't in the mood for it. He didn't know what to feel and he was still feeling overwhelmed. He wished more than anything that he could be okay and be happy but he couldn't force himself to be. Kurt wished that he could be the boy once again who loved Christmas, like he was last year when he was singing 'Baby It's Cold Outside' with Blaine and having a proper family Christmas. Wishing wouldn't get him anywhere as he couldn't change the fact that he was seriously screwed up right now. Kurt was quiet as he helped Finn decorate the Christmas tree. He could remember the year before where he was the one dictating where everything went. Now he put the ornaments on the tree half-heartedly. After a while Kurt had to give up. He just couldn't keep up this façade any longer. He couldn't pretend to care where exactly on the tree the ornament of Santa Claus in his sleigh went. He went and sat on the sofa, knowing that he would cause concern if he went and hid himself away in his room. Kurt knew that he couldn't keep himself to himself but he had always been a private person. He wasn't keen on sharing every single detail of his life or accepting help. In a way Kurt had been grateful that there had been plenty of drama in the Glee club so the attention wasn't focused on him and he could live his life. Now he wouldn't be able to escape that. For the rest of his life he would be seen as the boy who went missing in New York. He was only grateful that no one knew what happened to him. If it was reported in the news, and it was highly likely that it would, the story would just be that Kurt was found. He knew the Thomas Manson story would be announced but he wouldn't be named as he was a minor. The world wouldn't know what had happened to him and he was absolutely fine with that.
"Kiddo, are you okay? You feeling okay?" A male voice interrupted Kurt's trail of thoughts, making him look up to see his Dad standing in front of him.
"Yeah," was all Kurt could muster. He just wanted to be invisible.
Burt didn't take his son's hint, or just ignored it, and sat down next to him on the sofa, "Look I understand that all this is overwhelming..."
Kurt just lost it, "You don't understand! None of you understand! Stop trying to pretend that you do!"
Kurt's shouts echoed around the living room and the three other members of the family just froze in shock, unsure what to do. Kurt dropped his hand into his hands and took some deep breaths, knowing that he was just getting worked up.
"I'm sorry everyone. You're right Dad, I'm just overwhelmed," Kurt said, his face still hidden in his hands.
Burt let out a sigh and gently pulled Kurt's hand away from his face, taking care not to hurt his son, "I know Kurt and I'm sorry too. You're right that I don't understand but remember that I'm here to talk; we all are."
Kurt nodded, still not making eye contact with anyone. Carole sat down next to Burt and they shared a sad look, not knowing how to proceed. Carole quietly gestured to Finn to sit down and he quickly sat down in the armchair, waiting to see what happened.
Burt took a deep breath, "Kurt... do you remember when I spoke to Carole on the phone while you were hospital?"
Kurt nodded once again, "Yes."
"Do you remember that I told you that I had only shared the basics with Carole about what happened in New York?" Burt said, wishing his son would look at him, "And that she told Finn you were taken by a group of men and treated badly?"
"I remember," Kurt whispered, knowing where this was heading.
Burt knew his son knew what he was going to say, "We said we'd address the issues back in Lima and here we are. I don't want to do anything without your permission but I was wondering if you want to tell Carole and Finn what happened? It's entirely up to you and your word is final. You don't have to do anything buddy."
Kurt shook his head, "Like I said, they deserve to know as they're family. I'm not creating problems by keeping secrets and causing rifts."
"You won't be causing problems," Carole quickly interjected, wanting her stepson to know that he didn't have to tell them if he didn't want to.
"I want you to know," Kurt replied, sounding nervous yet determined, "I want you to know that I'm broken and damaged. I'm not the boy who left this house to go to Nationals. I feel pathetic and weak and desperately just want to hide in my room for the rest of my life. I want you to know what happened to me so hopefully you can understand a little better why I'm like this. I don't know if you'll accept me the way I am now and I completely get that. "
There was silence in the room as everyone took in Kurt's words. Carole already had tears in her eyes and Finn looked like he was going to be sick. Burt was watching his son, feeling heartbroken. He hated the fact Kurt believed he was broken and damaged. He was no such thing. He was a strong and brave boy who had been through hell. He could see Carole and Finn wanted to say something so he shook his head, knowing that Kurt just needed to let it all out.
Kurt closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself, before he opened his mouth to begin, "I was snatched off the street outside the hotel by two men. I screamed for help but they knocked me out and when I woke up I was in this dark basement. There were nine other teenagers in there. Three men walked in and I recognised two of them as the men who grabbed me. The other was a man who was... he was Thomas Manson and he was the man in charge. He told me what I was there for. I... I..."
Kurt trailed off, feeling as if his throat was closing up. He couldn't bring himself to speak the words that would tell the tale of his fate in New York. Kurt opened his eyes and immediately caught his father's eye, who sent him an encouraging smile to let his son know that he was there for him.
"What were you there for? Finn suddenly asked, sounding worried and confused, "Why did they want you?"
Kurt sent his father a pleading look, knowing that he couldn't say the words and tell his brother what happened to him.
Burt leaned forward in his seat and turned to address Finn in the armchair, as he was the only one who didn't know the circumstances, "Finn... Thomas Manson is someone who deserves to rot in hell. He was the leader of a prostitution ring and he snatched teenage boys and girls off the street so he could make them do what he wanted and earn him money."
Finn just gaped at Burt, causing several moments of uncomfortable silence. No one said anything as they wanted Finn to react first.
Finn finally turned to stare at Kurt, the horror shown in his eyes and his mouth open in shock, "Prostitution ring? As in sex?"
Carole leaned forward and took her son's hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, "Yes Finn."
Finn just continued to stare at Kurt, who was avoiding his stepbrother's gaze, "Is this true Kurt? You were kidnapped and forced to be a prostitute?"
"It sounds like it's something from a film or book," Kurt said, letting out a bitter laugh, "Well at least in that case I know I'd have a happy ending."
"Kurt..." Burt interjected, not knowing what to say or how to act.
Kurt just shook his head, "It's the truth and you all know it."
"Why won't you get a happy ending?" Finn asked nervously, desperate to hear what had happened to his little brother.
Kurt let out another bitter laugh, "I'm damaged Finn. You couldn't be after what I've been through."
"I'm guessing it was bad?" the words were out of Finn's mouth before he could think.
Kurt scoffed at his stepbrother's words, "Oh Finn you have no idea. I was told that I had to be a good slut for Manson otherwise there would be consequences! Apparently I have the look of an innocent porcelain angel and was told that his customers would lap it up. I was beaten up to the point where I was clinging to consciousness. Manson loved punishing me and would always order for me to beaten to a pulp. Does that sound bad?"
"Kurt..." Finn tried to say but Kurt was already continuing.
"You were beaten up if you were caught crying," Kurt continued, the memories of what happened hitting him hard, "A few days in I was caught crying and Manson instructed his henchmen to beat the shit out of me and said that the little fag needed to man up. You learned pretty quickly to not show any emotion and to never complain otherwise you received a beating within an inch of your life. You definitely couldn't complain about what you were being forced to do. You just had to get on with it and let yourself be constantly violated over and over again. The first time it happened... my friends James and Luke kept telling me it'd be okay and just to close my eyes and let it happen. I was locked in a room and I was planning my escape when a man nearly three times my age walked in. He was leering at me and made a comment about me being an angel. I didn't want it to happen, I swear I didn't. I screamed out for help and tried to run past him. He just threw me down on the bed, pinned me there and climbed on top of me. I closed my eyes and tried to picture anything else, not wanting to admit that it was happening. Fat lot of good that did. It didn't take away the roughness, the pain and how pathetic and helpless I felt. That was my life for seven months and that's only half of it."
Burt quickly wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders when he saw the shuddery gasps and the tears threatening to fall. He pulled Kurt to his chest and held his son tightly to him.
"I know how hard that was for you son and I'm so proud of you. We know you didn't want it to happen. You did the best you could," Burt said, hugging his son as the tears escaped, "You don't need to say anymore Kurt."
Kurt shook his head against his father's chest, "What about the rest?"
"I can tell it," Burt offered, trying to be helpful.
Again Kurt shook his head, "No offence Dad but you weren't there and I need to do this."
Kurt pulled away from his father and turned to look at the two remaining members of his family, who both had tears in their eyes, "I was treated like scum of the earth in that place. We were barely fed; sometimes we got a piece of bread and some water if we were very lucky. I had several customers a day, both men and women, and I had to put up with it. I just tried to think happy thoughts every time and the more it happened, the better I got at distancing myself from what was happening to my body. It was really hard though, especially if you had no energy. You were forced to take cocaine as it gives you energy."
Carole clapped a hand to her mouth as she let out a gasp and Finn's eyes seemed to be bulging out of his sockets. They couldn't believe that their sweet Kurt had been forced to take a Class A drug. It just wasn't right. Kurt had been through too much for a boy of seventeen.
Kurt looked down at his hands as he continued, "I took the drug twice. I had no energy and just hoped they would beat me to death and that would be the end of it. Instead I was practically forced to snort the powder. The second time it was injected into my veins as I was refusing to leave the basement as I was so tired and just wanted to die."
"Did you ever try and escape?" Finn blurted out, unable to take that what he was hearing had happened to his brother; the boy who cringed whenever something sexual was mentioned.
Kurt nodded sadly, "Just the one time but I was obviously caught. I was beaten up and I had a gun pointed at my head. Manson absolutely tortured me that day. He carved two words into my arm to remind me what I am. I never tried to escape again and basically had to accept that it was my life. I shut my brain down and became an emotionless robot."
Carole stood up at that point and moved past her husband so she was kneeling in front of Kurt, taking his hands in one of her own. She reached up and gently stroked Kurt's face, wiping away a few tears that had managed to leak out of his eyes. Carole didn't want to hurt her stepson so was very delicate when touching him as his hands were bandaged and his face was still bruised. She hated how sharp his cheekbones felt underneath her palm.
"Honey that isn't your life. You're home and you're with people who love you so very much," Carole said, wishing she could take away her stepson's pain, "I promise you that we're all here for you and we do not think you are broken or damaged. You are a brave boy who has been through so much and no matter what, we will always love you, you amazing boy."
Kurt said nothing as he just stared at Carole's hand gently holding onto his own.
"What happened to the other teenagers you were with?" Finn asked, hoping that everyone had been reunited with their family.
"Most will have been reunited with their families but Manson managed to kill some of them when the police raided the place. My friend Hayley, well she was my best friend in that hellhole, was killed as Thomas Manson wanted to eliminate all the 'sluts' to stop them from talking to the police. He pointed the gun at the two of us and Hayley pushed me to the side, taking the bullet. She died saving my life. I got to say goodbye to her at the hospital which I was incredibly grateful for. And that is all I have to say on that," Kurt finished, letting his family know that he didn't want to talk anymore as it was too painful for him to continue.
The family sat in silence for a while until Carole stood up from her position of kneeling on the floor.
She leaned down and placed a kiss on Kurt's head, "You're so brave Kurt. I love you very much and I'm so proud to call you my son."
"Me too dude. Well I mean I'm proud to call you my brother, not my son, but you know what I meant," Finn said, tripping over his words a little bit.
Burt took Kurt's hand in his, "Kurt you know I'm so incredibly proud of you. You've been through so much but you've come out even stronger than before. You're an inspiration kiddo."
Kurt didn't reply. He seemed to be lost in his own little world. Carole and Burt looked at one another, not knowing how to proceed. They had all shown Kurt how proud of him they were and how much they loved him and supported him but they just needed Kurt to see it for himself and accept their love and support.
"Kurt?" Carole prompted as she looked down at her stepson, "Say something sweetheart."
Kurt did look up at that, "I think I'm going to go and have a lie down."
There was an awkward silence following the youngest member's words as if everyone didn't know what to do. Both of the adults just wanted him to open up and allow himself the support and help he needed. Burt had known this was going to be the biggest challenge since the moment he found out what had happened to his son. Kurt had a way of doing things himself and he certainly didn't accept help. He saw himself as weak if he accepted help or would worry about causing stress on another person, just like he did with the whole Karofsky issue. He kept that to himself as he didn't want his father to get stressed and have another heart attack.
Burt interrupted the silence, "If that's what you want to do, that's absolutely fine kiddo. You do need your rest and you don't want to overexert yourself. Do you want some help?"
Kurt quickly shook his head, "I'm fine. I can do it myself without any help."
Burt sighed in frustration. He knew that Kurt had only accepted help yesterday was because he was tired and he knew that his father was going to help him no matter what. Now he knew Kurt was determined that he wouldn't be a burden to anyone, despite the fact no one saw him as a burden.
Kurt quickly dismissed himself and slowly made his way over to the stairs. He turned back to face his family, "I'll probably be down later on."
Carole smiled at him, "Okay sweetheart. You let us know if you need anything."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," was Kurt's instant reply as he turned back to the stairs and began to climb them.
Once he reached the landing, Kurt immediately headed into his bedroom and laid down on his bed. He knew his family would be talking about him downstairs but he couldn't bring himself to care. He manoeuvred his body until he was under his duvet and finally able to let go without eyes watching his every movement. Kurt let his sobs break free as he remembered everything that he had been through. He remembered the terrifying feeling of being in that brothel and being pinned to the bed while a sweaty body clambered on top of him. Kurt reached up and traced the words carved into his skin on his right arm. He would not be forgetting them in a hurry. Those words would always remind him of what happened to him during those seven months, no matter how much time had passed or where life had taken him. He would always be brought back to the moment where he was screaming out in pain while Thomas Manson carved two words over and over again into his arm.
Kurt let the memories hit him hard as the sobs increased. He remembered his friends that kept him sane, especially Hayley. He missed her so much. She would understand what she was going through. He hoped she was in paradise. Kurt wondered how the others who had been kidnapped were doing. He wondered if James or Luke were breaking down like him or whether they were able to move on. Kurt knew his family meant well but that didn't mean he could just accept that he wasn't broken or damaged. He felt like he didn't deserve their love or support after what he had been through. He didn't know how to cope. It was his first full day home and he had already retreated to the sanctuary of his bedroom. Kurt felt that he might have had the strength to survive but now what was he supposed to do. Was he supposed to continue fighting for the rest of his life? Was he supposed to live with the fact that for seven months of his life he was a drug taking whore? Kurt was in his own personal hell with no escape from it. Sometimes he thought death might have been an easier option. With that Kurt pulled the duvet over his head so he was shut out from the world, wanting to forget what had happened to him but knowing he never could.