My mind couldn't process what I had just heard. Sebastian Smythe had just declared his love for me! The boy who always insulted me when he saw me, wanted to steal my ex boyfriend and wanted to slushy me with rock salt. It just didn't make sense. He had never given any indication of having feelings for me. No one would have ever guessed that Sebastian liked me, yet loved me, after all that he had done to me. It was completely messed up. I didn't know what to do. I didn't love Sebastian but I didn't know if he was actually being serious. I was in love with Blaine but he didn't want me. I also thought Sebastian wanted Blaine. When did that change? I glanced around, as if advice would magically appear in front of me. I even closed my eyes and hoped to wake up to find everything was a strange dream. When I opened my eyes, I still found myself standing in an alley with Sebastian Smythe, the boy I thought was my mortal enemy like Lord Voldemort was to Harry Potter. I ran my hands over my face, trying to get my thoughts straight. I wished I hadn't drunk so much now as it was hard to make sense of my thoughts. I knew that Sebastian would probably have never told me that he loved me if he hadn't had so much to drink and if I wasn't now single. Then again, if I was still with Blaine, I wouldn't have run away from home and wouldn't have ended up in Scandals in the company of one Sebastian Smythe.

"Kurt?" Sebastian's voice broke through my thoughts, "Say something Kurt."

I knew what it was like to love someone but they didn't love you back. Even though I wasn't really in love with Finn, it still hurt seeing him with Quinn or Rachel or whatever girl he was with; I still found it weird that he slept with Santana. I didn't know what I was going to say to Sebastian if he actually was in love with me.

"Kurt?" Sebastian tried again, "You're scaring me by being so silent. Normally you're so vocal with your opinions."

I tried to make sense of my thoughts and took a deep breath, "You love me?"

Sebastian looked uncomfortable as he shuffled his weight from foot to foot, "Yes Kurt I do. I don't know how to explain it but when does love need an explanation?"

I opened my mouth to reply but stopped at Sebastian's words. He did make sense when he said about love needing no explanation. That was something I had been preaching ever since I had come out. Love was love, just like Joe said on Valentine's Day, and it wasn't something that needed to be analysed. Nevertheless I still needed answers and needed to know what was going on in Sebastian's head.

"How is it you love me?" I asked, staring at Sebastian.

Sebastian frowned at me, "Kurt, didn't I just say love doesn't need an explanation?"

"I know you did," I replied still staring at the boy in front of me, "I just don't understand. You hated me. You absolutely hated me. You threw a slushy with rock salt in it at me!"

"Actually Blaine was the one that got hit," Sebastian said, smirking at me.

I actually growled, "Start talking!"

Sebastian looked taken back but nodded, "I don't know when it happened. I'll admit that when I first met Blaine I was attracted to his whole blushing schoolboy routine because I thought it was an act. I quickly learnt that I was wrong. When you came into the Lima Bean with your cold bitch attitude, it ignited a fire and I began to look forward to our insulting banter as you could really hold your own. Blaine couldn't do that and would just make excuses to get coffee or even leave. You would give back what I gave to you. It excited me. But then my feelings started to change and that scared the shit out of me. I began to get jealous when I saw you and Blaine together or even when the Warblers talked about the two of us and this amazing love you had for one another. I felt like I had to repel these feelings so I continued being horrible to you. I had the idea to slushy you to humiliate you and to try to put me off you. I thought the rock salt would be a nice touch but that completely backfired. It was when I insulted Dave Karofsky at Scandals and then later he tried to commit suicide, it woke me up. I couldn't exist in this world where I hurt people and insult people when that's what people do to me because of my sexuality. I decided to embrace this feeling and accept that I liked you. I knew nothing would happen because of your relationship with Blaine but my feelings continued to grow. I was shocked when I realised I loved you. I couldn't believe it when I found you out in the cold, upset and alone. It broke my heart. I just want you to be happy."

I just stared at Sebastian in shock after his speech. He had just kept talking about why he felt this way and I just stood there still unable to process what was happening. It was as if the whole world was topsy turvy. I felt moved by Sebastian's words but I just couldn't return his feelings. I had spent the last six months absolutely hating the guy and I wasn't expecting a declaration of love.

"Sebastian I..." I began, trying to speak.

Sebastian took a step towards me, "It's okay Kurt. I know this feeling is weird but it's good I promise you. Even I've accepted that and I'm the boy who doesn't do relationships or feelings."

"Sebastian I... I'm flattered by what you say but..." I tried again, hoping to get the point across to him.

Sebastian reached out and grabbed my hands, pulling me away from the wall and closer to him. I looked into his eyes and saw his eyes were completely glazed over; with large pupils. He was so out of it he probably didn't know what was going on. It would be something he would wake up and not remember the next day.

"Kurt I love you," Sebastian repeated again, smiling at me.

"Sebastian you're drunk," I replied, trying to ease my hands out of his, "We've both had a lot to drink. I think we should leave and maybe talk about this when we're sober."

"Let's talk now," Sebastian tightened his grip on my hands, making me start to feel a little scared.

I took a deep breath, hoping to clear things up, "Sebastian I'm flattered by what you say but... I still love Blaine. We haven't even been broken up for twelve hours yet. I've spent the past months absolutely despising you and while I've had a good time out with you tonight, I just can't turn off my love for Blaine and channel it to you instead. I'm sorry."

Sebastian's grip was getting tighter, "But Blaine dumped you!"

"I know," I said calmly; despite the stab of pain in my heart, "But I still love him."

Sebastian nodded before looking like he was deep in thought. I tried to pull my hands from his but he hung on, holding them tighter. I waited nervously for Sebastian to say or do anything; hoping he would realise my hands before he stopped the circulation in them and I really didn't want pins and needles.

Sebastian's eyes suddenly lit up and he grinned at me, "Maybe this will change your mind."

I frowned at him, "Why are you talking about?"

Sebastian didn't reply. Instead he let go of one of my hands and brought it up to cup my face. My eyes widened in shock as I realised what Sebastian was going to do. Before I could stop him, Sebastian kissed me. His lips were hard and forceful against mine, trying to trigger a response. I used my free hand to push at him as hard as I could, hoping that he'd get the picture, but Sebastian just clung onto me as he moved backwards, pulling me towards him. Sebastian eventually pulled away and I brought my free hand up to my mouth. I had had another kiss forced on me. Why did this happen to me? The feelings of how I felt after Karofsky forced a kiss on me came flooding back and I shuddered.

"Did you like that?" Sebastian had the nerve to ask and I looked at him, glaring at him.

"Are you serious? You just forced that kiss on me! Just leave me alone!" I yelled, hoping that I would attract the attention of someone outside Scandals.

I pushed Sebastian again and he stumbled more than usual, showing how drunk he was. Unfortunately I still couldn't get my hand free so I stumbled with him.

Sebastian shook his head, "Let me try again," his words sounding slightly slurred.

"No Sebastian!" I cried, getting ready to push him off.

Sebastian, this time however, actually lunged at me. I was too in shock to brace my body and we both went flying to the ground. I felt my head smash on the ground at the back of my head and by my ear. I could feel blood trickling down my face. I tried to move but had Sebastian's weight pinning me to the ground. He had let go of my other hand now so I used both hands to try to push him off. Sebastian caught off my actions and grabbed hold of my wrists, pinning them to the ground either side of my head.

"All mine," he whispered before reattaching his lips to mine again, hard and forceful as before.

I fought desperately beneath him, trying to free my hands to give me some leverage to push Sebastian off me. Without my hands, I was left with trying to kick him off but my legs were pinned underneath him. I was trying to wriggle free but it was no use. I managed to pull my face free and turned it away from Sebastian's as much as I could.

"Sebastian stop!" I screamed, hoping someone would hear me or that Sebastian would stop.

Neither of these things happened and Sebastian tried to kiss me once again. He succeeded for a few seconds before I bit down on his lower lip as hard as I could, causing him to cry out.

He glared at me, blood starting to pool on his lower lip, "Wow Hummel, never knew you'd be such a kinky bitch. Maybe I'll like that even more."

Sebastian kissed me again and it felt like it was even more forceful than before. He was trying to pry my lips open but I refused. I continued to fight against Sebastian's grip on my wrists, knowing that when I eventually got free I would have bruises in the shape of his finger marks on my pale skin. I managed to wriggle my head free but Sebastian just grabbed my body and jolted me. As I turned my head to get away from Sebastian, I felt the right side of my face slam against the ground. I felt completely dazed as I registered Sebastian attacking my neck. I cried out again; at the pain from my face and the pain from Sebastian attacking my neck. Suddenly he sunk his teeth into the side of my neck and bit me. I screamed, tears starting to fall from my eyes, praying to whatever existed that someone would help me. Sebastian suddenly released one of my wrists and immediately placed his hand at the opening of my skinny jeans. My brain immediately registered what he was trying to do. I was not going to let this happe
n to me.

Blaine's voice suddenly came into my head, "You can refuse to be the victim."

Even though, Blaine had broken my heart and his advice had led me to be kissed by Karofsky, I knew I wouldn't let myself be the victim. I reached down and grabbed Sebastian's hand, stopping his mission to undo the button of my jeans. Sebastian grabbed my wrist again and pinned it beside my head. Without knowing what I was doing, I turned my head towards one of the hands Sebastian was holding, wincing in pain as I felt my skin scrap the ground. I leaned down, with Sebastian still biting and attacking my neck, and bite down on Sebastian's hand. Sebastian yelped out and pulled his hands away as if they had touched something hot. Sebastian pulled away his surprise and I pulled one of my hands back and punched him in the face as hard as I could. I heard Sebastian swear and cry out in pain. While I still had the element of surprise, I managed to manoeuvre my leg in between Sebastian's and brought my knee up as hard as I could. Sebastian's eyes basically popped open as it took a few seconds for him to register what had happened. When he did, Sebastian howled in pain and this gave me the perfect opportunity to shove him off me. Sebastian rolled off me, clutching his privates and howling in pain. I was in so much pain but I didn't want to hang around in case a drunken Sebastian tried to attack me again. I gripped the wall as I stood up, wanting to scream at how much pain I felt. I tried to ignore the warm liquid running down both sides of my face and the pain I felt but it was difficult. Once I was on my feet, I glared down at Sebastian.

"You're a lowlife Sebastian! Rot in hell!" I yelled, watching as he continued to howl in pain.

"Kurt..." Sebastian started but I refused to listen.

I ran out of the alley as steadily and as fast as I could. I had to get away from Sebastian. I had thought he would help take my mind off the pain of Blaine breaking my heart but Sebastian had just dumped a whole load of physical pain on that. I heard Sebastian scream my name as I ran into the car park of Scandals but I ignored him. I didn't care where I was going. I just had to get away. As I ran out onto the road, I suddenly heard a squeal of brakes and lights were suddenly in my face. I turned to see a car practically next to me. It dawned on me that I had been extremely close to getting him by a car. I heard Sebastian scream my name again but I just waved my apologies to the driver and continued to run.

I didn't know what was becoming of my life. This was the second time in less than twelve hours that I was running away from something that had hurt me. I had thought this year was going to be different. Blaine had transferred from Dalton to McKinley and I had expected it to be a magical senior year for me. Instead I had lost the class president race against Brittany; who wasn't exactly the brightest even though she had a good heart, I had lost out on the role of Tony in 'West Side Story' against my own boyfriend, my boyfriend had tried to get me to have sex with him in the car for our first time, I had had to put up with another guy going after my boyfriend and now my boyfriend had broken up with me, my father had yelled at me and sworn at me and I had been attacked by the boy who chased after my boyfriend. Knowing my luck, I probably would get rejected from NYADA and Rachel would get in; despite the fact she choked in her audition. Life just seemed to be really unfair. It was as if I was getting all the crap. Mercedes and Quinn constantly talked about the fact that God loved everyone equally. If he did existed and did love everyone equally, why was I always so hard done by? I wasn't being a typical teenager moaning about life being unfair. I had been through the wars and I was only eighteen. I had spent the whole of my life dealing with my mother dying, being bullied for my sexuality, my father almost dying when we were finally getting back on track after years of just coexisting together and just having to deal with stuff that was considered way beyond my years.

I continued to run through the dark streets of Lima; déjà vu hitting me completely. I had absolutely no idea where I was or what time it was. I vaguely remembered seeing a clock in Scandals but that was hours ago and it was twenty past midnight then. My mind flickered to the thoughts of my family. They were probably all tucked up in bed fast asleep, not caring that I wasn't at home in my own bed. I mentally sighed knowing that was far from the truth. My Dad would be worried sick and be feeling so guilty for having caused me to run away, Carole would be worrying but trying to calm my Dad down, Finn would be panicking and probably comfort eating and Dad would have probably called Blaine to see if I had gone to him. My heart clenched at the thought of Blaine. I knew that if Dad called him and told him I'd run away, Blaine would blame himself. Even if I had run away because I couldn't cope with what had happened, I didn't want him to blame himself. It wasn't his fault that he didn't want to be with me anymore and couldn't see a long distance relationship working. I always thought a relationship could work as long as you were both committed to one another. Even though your relationship was through Skype, twitter, Facebook, phones etc, as long as both the people in the relationship were dedicated to make it work, I always thought it could work. It saddened me to know Blaine couldn't even be bothered to try. He couldn't at least wait until I was in New York and then he could break up with me so I wouldn't have to see his face and pretend to be okay. I wished I had my phone on me so I could see the time and some money so I could call a taxi. I just wanted to go home and crawl into my bed.

I eventually started slowing down as I realised running was just stupid; plus I was getting tired and feeling extremely dizzy. My head was pounding. I quickly located a bench with a bin next to it. Next thing I know, I was running over to the bin and stuck my head in it as I vomited. My stomach clenched as I continued to throw up. It hadn't been a good idea running on a stomach full of alcohol that I had recently drunk but I had to get away. The whole situation with the attack and the pain probably made me throw up as well. Once I had finished throwing up, I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, catching a glance at the bruises and marks already showing on my hand and wrists. I made my way over to the bench, stumbling a little, and sat down. As soon as I did, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. Why had this happened? Why was I so stupid to go to Scandals with Sebastian Smythe? Even though Scandals was fine, my past experiences with Sebastian weren't great but I just hadn't wanted to be on my own. I couldn't control my crying and just let it all out. I sobbed for my relationship with Blaine, I sobbed for my father, I sobbed for how I was treated by society, I sobbed for what happened with Sebastian, I sobbed for how much pain I was in and I sobbed over the fact that I was all alone and had no idea what to do. I really hoped Sebastian hadn't followed me. I couldn't deal with him being around at the moment. I could still feel blood running down my face. I was afraid to know what my reflection looked like. I just couldn't stop sobbing into my hands.

"Hello?" I heard a voice call.

I immediately shot up of the bench and looked in the direction of where I had heard the voice. I prepared myself, getting ready to run in case they came too close. I realised, while I had been crying, I had missed the car pulling up next to me.

"Hello?" The voice called again.

I was getting ready to run when the voice said, "Kurt? Kurt Hummel? Is that you Kurt?"

I stared in the direction where my name had just been said. This person knew me. It didn't sound like Sebastian; it sounded feminine. I waited as I heard the footsteps hurry. I raised a hand over my face to shield my eyes from the light. When I lowered my hand, I was shocked to find Santana Lopez standing in front of me, her face etched with concern.