Eventually the pressure in Blaines head eases, and the tears stop. His pulse slows to match the measured movement of Kurts hands, and the strain in his throat and chest subsides. Blaine comes back to himself in pieces. Each is delicate and strange—familiar, and yet not. His perspective is changed; he had no comprehension or expectation of this, his own body revealing itself to him as something so surprising. Its like putting together a puzzle of a well known image, taking each thought, memory, and sensation, and fitting them back together to reassemble his sense of himself.

Beneath his cheek, Kurts chest vibrates with a tune Blaine doesnt know. Kurts been humming softly to him as he strokes Blaines hair, neck, and shoulders. Kurts body is warm and vital: the steady beat of his heart flutters palpably against Blaines skin, the scent of him is fresh cologne mingled with a spicier trace of clean perspiration. Being close to another body like this draws at some deep ache in Blaines chest. Hes heavy within himself—must be heavy upon Kurt—and, Blaine realizes, its not just his tears that are wet and sticking his skin to Kurts. Theres his sweat, too, and whatever emission came from his penis when he had the orgasm.

"Im sorry," Blaine says. It comes out hoarse from his throat, which is still clogged with tears. Blaine coughs to clear it and pushes himself up.

"Oh, why are you apologizing?" Kurt asks. He sits up with Blaine and takes Blaines hand in his own.

Blaine wipes across his eyes with his free hand, and he looks down at their interlaced fingers, then to the mess on his belly, smeared upon Kurts skin too. "I, um," Blaine manages, and then he swallows hard. Words arent coming easily, and he doesnt want to say the wrong thing. "For being messy," Blaine says, and tries to sniff as discreetly as possible. "I need to clean us up."

"No, thats— Blaine, the mess can be part of the fun. Ill take care of it, okay? You just… relax? All right?"

Blaine glances up, finds Kurt smiling at him, a small crease of concern between his eyebrows. Blaine doesnt want to cause Kurt worry, and his apology is unwarranted, so he nods. "All right."

Kurt leans away to the table by his bed, a panel opens and he retrieves a small towel. Its steaming and warm, and comes with a bright herbaceous scent. "Here," Kurt says, "lie back down for me?"

With a shaky exhalation and limbs that feel too stiff, Blaine complies, and Kurt brings the warm towel to Blaines skin, wipes over his chest and belly with long, firm strokes. "So this emission is normal?" Blaine asks, gesturing at his groin.

"Yes," Kurt says, pauses for a moment. "Its semen, Blaine. It, uh, carries your genetic material. If you were trying to impregnate someone…" Kurt trails off, looking at Blaines face for a sign of his understanding.

"Oh," Blaine says. "So it comes out even when youre not mating with a woman?"

"Mmhm," Kurt says, and he leans away to dispose of the towel and get a fresh one that he uses on himself. Then he fastens his fly back up.

"Thats not very efficient," Blaine says, and he takes Kurts cue to reach down to pull up his own trousers and underwear.

Kurt laughs. "Well, our bodies dont know, and I, for one, am grateful for that. Its part of the pleasure of an orgasm."

"It happened once when I was young. It happened while I slept, I woke to the mess," Blaine says; the memory is sharp for the humiliation of the discovery. His parents had seemed disappointed. "The next day, that was when my mother took me to the doctor."

"For the blockers?" Kurt says, and theres sympathy in his voice and his eyes.

"Yes."

Kurt bows his head for a moment and doesnt say anything. He looks unhappy; Blaine doesnt wish him to be.

"Have I said something wrong? Or am I asking you too many questions?" Blaine asks; he got teased at school for the latter: monopolizing the teachers time with questions his classmates didnt care for.

"No, goodness, no," Kurt says, and he reaches back to Blaine, to cup his jaw with his hand. "Please, Blaine, feel free to ask me anything. It only makes me sad that you were denied knowledge of your own body for so long." Kurt smiles again, which is a relief. "But Im so grateful we can share this now."

"So am I," Blaine says, and, feeling bold, he pushes himself up to his elbows and presses his mouth to Kurts.

He feels the curve of Kurts smile against his mouth, and then Kurts lips soften and part and its fantastic to feel the warm rush of Kurts breath and the slip of his tongue. Theres the newly familiar throb of heat and pressure between Blaines legs, only now he understands the specific hunger. Kurt presses him back down into the pillows and doesnt break the kiss. Instead he deepens it and hums encouragement against Blaines mouth. Blaine ventures to touch Kurts face with his fingertips, to stroke gently into the hair by his temples.

With a contented sigh, Kurt eases back. "What would you like most with me in this moment, Blaine?"

"More."

Kurt smiles and runs his hand down Blaines breastbone to rest low on his belly. "Shall we do it together this time?" Kurt asks. He undoes Blaines fly again, pushes his hand in and rubs over Blaines burgeoning erection.

Blaine groans and nods. Hes not sure what precisely together will entail. Holding Kurts cock in his hand is an appealing thought. He wants to feel it, and he realizes in a sudden rush of obviousness: he can give Kurt an orgasm, too.

But Blaines hand on him may not be what Kurt has in mind, for he asks, "Remember how we danced last night?"

"I… do," Blaine says, trying to keep his hips still beneath the tantalizing friction of Kurts palm.

"Music," Kurt says more loudly and in a different tone, addressing his computer system. He speaks a title and artist Blaine doesnt know, and then its the same deep, slow pulse of music from the ballroom. Kurt rubs Blaines cock with the same rhythm, and Blaine shivers pleasantly.

"Im going to undress us both," Kurt says. "Is that all right?"

"Yes, yes," Blaine says, arching up against Kurts hand as his head swims with growing heat and his body aches with the want of more. "Please," Blaine says.

Kurt pulls Blaines pants all the way off until Blaine is lying naked and hard. Blaine looks down his nude body, sees the way his penis is flushed and thick and rearing up from his groin, stretched along his belly. And then Blaine looks back at Kurt whos kneeling up and pushing his own trousers down his thighs, then tipping to his back to strip them the rest of the way off, and Blaine gets his first look at Kurts cock: smooth veined and a darker shade of the same pink as his nipples, even darker at the bared crown. Fluid beads at the tip of it, and Blaine wants to feel it.

Kurt beckons to Blaine. "Come lie over me."

Blaine rolls to his hands and knees and moves until hes over Kurt, one leg between Kurts thighs, and Kurt hooks his ankle behind Blaines knee, pulls him down until their hips press together.

All of their bare skin and body heat pressed together, Blaine sinks down into the sensation, and Kurts cock is rigid and hot where it presses against Blaines. Its more vivid than the other night; theres no barrier between them, just smooth skin and warmth and the way theyre fitted snug against each other between the yielding flesh of their bellies. Kurt twists beneath him, coaxing a sharp frisson of pleasure as his shaft drags against Blaines. "You feel so good," Kurt says, and his arms come around Blaines shoulders. "Dance with me, Blaine."

"I— okay," Blaine says, and he rocks his hips down against Kurt. The intensity of the resulting sensation has him biting his lips against a pained sounding moan. A cascade of heat trips up his spine, blooms in his belly, and tightens in his balls.

"Oh, like that," Kurt groans in his ear. "Just like that, move with the music."

And so Blaine lets the beat of the music and the tightening of Kurts hands on his back urge him into a rhythm of pushing and rubbing his cock against Kurts, their bodies together. Its not exactly like dancing; gravity has him pinned against Kurt in a way that limits his movement. But its more than enough. Soon their bodies are slicked with sweat, growing even hotter, and Blaine struggles to keep his motion timed to the music. The heat inside him is billowing into an inferno, demanding something quicker and rougher. Kurt moves with him, grinding up, panting and whispering praise, moaning his own pleasure against Blaines neck.

"Kurt," he grits out. "May I… faster?"

"Yeah, come on, honey," Kurt says, and he slips a hand up into Blaines hair, pressing his fingertips against Blaines scalp and then fisting tight in his sweaty hair. "Fuck me harder, as hard as you want."

Blaine adjusts his weight, bracing himself on his elbows, and he does so, he thrusts against Kurt with more vigor and speed, and the friction between them builds to a hotter mind-bending burr. And Blaine comes to understand the unfamiliar word: fuck. Its this movement, of driving ones body against anothers for this singular purpose of finding a climax, together. "Oh…" Blaine murmurs. Its not happening as fast as when Kurt masturbated him, and the greater stretch of time is allowing the tension to wind even tighter, for his body to burn brighter and hunger more.

"Im close, kiss me," Kurt whispers. Blaine shifts again, faltering in the motion of his hips. His spine feels molten with the effort of this unfamiliar exertion. He kisses Kurts open, breathless mouth, swallows the delicious sounds Kurts making. Hes kissing Kurt when Kurt has his orgasm. It cant be anything but that, for the way Kurts whole body snaps taut against him, for the inarticulate cry that rises from Kurts throat, for the hot pulses of semen between them.

"Kurt," Blaine says, lifting himself to see Kurts face and wondering at his slackening mouth, his hazy eyes, his blood stained cheeks.

"Keep going," Kurt urges him. "Come against me," he says.

Kurts semen makes everything slippery between them, and Blaine presses himself desperately into the slickness and heat and soon he can feel the crawl of his orgasm building up again and he reaches for it. It takes him just as Kurts mouthing at his throat and combing his fingers through his hair and telling him to let go, let go, let go…

After, Kurt doesnt let go of Blaine immediately, he holds him against him and they lie in silence, sticky, hot, and sated. Blaine closes his eyes and waits for his body to calm, for more complex thoughts to return to his mind. For now, the second orgasm has stunned him back into a blank sort of clarity. All he can do is witness the understanding unfurl in his mind: this is sex. This is what hes been missing. This is what his body is capable of, not only within itself, but with another person. It settles deep into his bones like an indivisible and ancient truth of existence, now that he knows.

.

They must part eventually, for the necessity of cleaning up and Blaines need to relieve his bladder. Kurt offers Blaine the use of his shower too, which Blaine accepts. Part of Blaine thinks he wouldve been content to have stayed in Kurts bed for the remainder of the night, warm and safe in Kurts arms. But alone in Kurts bathroom, and freshly washed, Blaine stands nude before the mirror, finger-combing his wet hair back into order. His skin is still flushed with blood and his head swims with unfocused fragments of thought and sensation, with nothing wanting to coalesce into any significance beyond the present moment.

He pulls his clothes back on, and hesitates, his fingertips resting behind his ear. He needs to turn his rig back on. Hunters report is waiting for him.

But not yet.

.

Back in Kurts bedroom, the bed is made with fresh sheets and Kurt is gone. Theres music coming from the living room, something gentle with an old world feel to the instrumentation, so Blaine ventures out. The dining table is cleared of their supper plates and food, and Kurt has set out on the table by the sofa a plate of tiny, colorfully frosted cakes and a pair of glasses of something pale and chilled. Kurts seated on the sofa with a book in his lap.

"Blaine," Kurt says. He closes the book, stands, and comes to Blaine. He pulls him into an embrace. "Thank you for sharing yourself with me tonight. I enjoyed it so much."

"I did too," Blaine says, and he finds himself blushing again, at the memory of what they shared. How wanton hed been.

Kurt kisses him again, his lips chastely, and his cheek softly—its more affection than ardor. "Will you sit with me and have some chilled tea? Or do you need to leave?"

"I can stay," Blaine says, and they sit.

Kurt passes him a glass. "Do you mind if I ask you how you feel now?"

"I dont mind," Blaine says, but it takes him a little while to collect words to describe how this has all left him feeling. Hes quiet as he sips his tea and searches for the insight required. Kurt waits, and Blaine finds a moment in his memory thats not dissimilar. "My very first assignment with the Ambassador," Blaine begins. "Was a six month space journey to a foreign territory, trade negotiations with the Hestari."

"Oh, the ones with the live maggots." Kurt wrinkles his nose adorably, and Blaine is certain hes never been this enchanted by another persons face.

Blaine laughs. "Yes, the ones with the live maggots."

"And that was your first mission ever?" Kurts eyes widen.

"Mmhm. Id never even been off planet before that, so that much time in space—just the trip to Hestari territory was nearly three months long on the Guild ship—non stop. It was all brand new. I was very excited."

"Talk about being thrown in the deep end," Kurt says, and he settles himself back into the corner of the sofa to listen. "I havent traveled much myself," Kurt says. "Just between home and the Capitol. How did you manage six months?"

"Theres not much to do on the Guild ships: theyre not like this ship, there arent any gardens or ballrooms. My quarters were small and I shared them with two others. But I made good use of the time I had. I studied Hestari body language all the way there."

"Oh, is it complicated?" Kurt asks as he nibbles at the edge of a cake. "I love their textiles, but Ive never met any Hestari. They dont travel outside their own borders, do they?"

"No, they dont, so we always have to go to them. And, yeah, their body language is complicated. They dont have facial expressions, emotion is expressed through posture and scent, but human olfactory senses arent as discerning or as sensitive as theirs. We had to carry chemical sniffers to help with that, but even then, their emotions dont translate directly into terms we—" Blaine breaks off, remembers what Kurt said at the reception. "It is we right? Were both human."

Kurt frowns, but his lips quirk with amusement. "Of course we are."

"Okay," Blaine says, and he files that away to think more on later. "So, the Hestari emotions dont translate into ours easily. Its mind bogglingly easy to miss important nuance or miscommunicate something just by standing or gesturing the wrong way—or wearing the wrong cologne."

Kurt nods and offers him the plate of small cakes. Blaine takes a sherbert orange frosted one. "That sounds challenging," Kurt says.

"Oh, it was, and not just because of that. When we got to our rendezvous with their ship, the Ship Mother was furious with my presence as part of the Ambassadors team for the negotiations."

"Oh no, why?"

"Because I was young," Blaine says. "She kept calling me— Im not going to try to pronounce it right now, but it basically translates literally as youngling, and its a derogatory term for their adolescent young."

"Okay," Kurt says and grimaces.

"See, in their species, higher cognition is very slow to develop, so adolescents are seen as too dependent and unpredictable. Incapable of reason."

"So they assumed you were too?"

"Yes, and—what made it worse at the time for me? The Ambassador knew this would happen, that they would be offended, but she didnt tell me. I knew about their attitude toward their own young, Id done my preparations, but Im a human adult. I didnt expect my age would be an issue. June— The Ambassador, insisted I attend the negotiations with her; it was her condition for them going forward at all."

"That sounds tense. What happened?"

"They relented, said I could sit with her, but then? She had me speak for her, as if she was proving a point. During the first meeting, she didnt open her mouth once, not even to advise me. I had to shoulder the entire negotiation based on what I understood her stance to be."

"Oh my goodness." Kurt covers his mouth with one hand.

"I know. It was a way to exert her power in the negotiations, and it turned out that her forwardness in asserting herself—and my position as her personal advisory assistant—won her more respect and helped us get a better deal. But it was also a way for her to test me. Because—the Hestari were right about one thing, I was very young. The Ambassador wanted to be certain that I had the mettle for the job. She told me later that she also wanted me to be as sure of myself as she was. Any doubts I mightve had about being her aide were a waste of my energy. She needed me to understand that, and pushing me so hard in those first negotiations was her way of making me prove myself to myself."

"Were you angry?" Kurt asks.

"Angry?" Blaine blinks at Kurt. "No, not angry. Grateful, really. If she hadnt pushed me so hard, I might not have come to appreciate my own resourcefulness and ability under pressure."

"But what she put you through, Blaine, it sounds so harsh—and not to tell you everything you needed to know. I know you dont like that."

"I dont, its true. But I trust her. Its— Well shed say something about strength being both forged by and revealed through adversity."

"And you believe that?"

"I believe there are times its true. That first mission was hard. I was so lonely and homesick. The entire time I felt like I was off balance, poised right on the verge of failing, swinging my arms desperately to keep from falling flat on my face."

"But you didnt fall."

"No. But I also realized that my job was very different from the daydreams Id entertained myself with growing up. The adventure was real, but it wasnt the way Id imagined it in my head. It was harder and lonelier, but also, ultimately even more rewarding. At the end of our mission, on the way home, the Ambassador told me she was proud of me and that Id done well, and I really, deeply felt like Id earned her praise, more than any other accolade in my life. It was… an amazing feeling."

Kurts quiet for a long moment. He sips his tea and considers Blaine before he speaks again, "So this amazing feeling, is that how you feel now?"

"Oh, um, no not exactly. I sort of lost track of my point. I was going to say, after being in space for six months, when we finally returned home to Apathea? Being on the planets surface again, breathing the air. It was all brand new, the same as it always had been but my perspective had changed so much, it was like Id never even seen the sky before." Blaine smiles at the memory and at the man sitting next to him, listening with such interest. "I feel like that now, Kurt, with you, but within myself. I feel brand new."

"Oh," Kurt says, and his gaze upon Blaine softens, brightens, and warms. "Like coming home for the first time after a long, difficult absence."

"Yes," Blaine says.

"Thats beautiful," Kurt says. "Im flattered, truly, Blaine."

"Its funny," Blaine says, abruptly feeling self-conscious. He looks down and rubs the back of his neck. "Ive never told anyone that story before. I didnt even tell the Ambassador how I was feeling about any of it at the time. I couldnt show her any lapse or vulnerability. I had to be everything she expected me to be."

"And were you?"

"Yes," Blaine says. He sighs deeply, tips his head back, and closes his eyes for a moment. A profound sleepiness gathers in his head. He covers his mouth as he yawns.

"Do you want to sleep here tonight?"

Blaine realizes hes lost track of the time entirely with his rig off. "No, I— Gods, it must be so late, and I have some reading I need to do tonight. I should get back."

"All right," Kurt says, and he stands. Theres a thoughtful seriousness about him as he walks with Blaine to the door. "Blaine," he says, the line of his mouth somber and straight. "I want you to know—" He frowns.

"Yes?"

"I know we just met, and I dont say this sort of thing lightly—and I hope its not too bold of me to say it to you now—but I like you, even more than I expected to. Im very happy that weve met, that youve sought my company, and trusted me with yourself."

"Youve made it easy," Blaine says, warming at Kurts words. "I didnt expect Id meet someone like you."

"Ill look forward to seeing you tomorrow," Kurt says, and his blush is such a pretty pink across his cheeks as he smiles again. "Sleep well, Blaine."