] Anniversary [

(one day, one year later)

Kurt wakes too early. Behind their gauzy curtains, the wide windows are barely gray with dawn. The memory of the nightmare that woke him still crawls unpleasantly along his nerves. Even in bed with Blaine beside him, snug in their bedding, hes cold. Quietly he gets up and heads for the shower.

The worst nightmares are the ones that start as dreams of being happy with Blaine, and then, within the dream he wakes from Bettys cryopod to discover hes stranded, with a shattered drive, without hope or help, that all his past months back on New Sierra, with Blaine and working at the Tuning College is the mirage.

Fortunately, he always wakes again, safe in bed, with Blaine. And he remembers quickly: he now lives on a planet with gentle air and bountiful life and open cloud streaked skies.

He reorients himself in the hot spray of the shower. Hums scales as he shampoos his hair. Walks himself through the day ahead, which hes been anticipating for months now.

.

He finds Blaine in the kitchen, making pancakes. On the table is fresh fruit and fragrant coffee waiting to be pressed. The glass doors to their small balcony are open to let in the early summer air and rising sun. A bumblebee bumps his way across the flowers on the potted strawberry plants.

"Good morning," Kurt says, and Blaine turns from the stove with a bright smile thats all for Kurt, and always strikes such a happy fillip against Kurts heart.

"Good morning," Blaine replies, and Kurt sits at the table. "You were up early," Blaine says. "Nerves?"

Kurt shakes his head as he reaches for the newsheet, scans the slow scroll of headlines with only scattered interest this morning, but the date catches him. "Not yet," he says. "It was... the usual." Its been one year today since he woke in Blaines bed back on Oasis. One year. Hed hoped the bad dreams would have left him by now.

Hes seeing a therapist fortnightly, and it helps. She said it might take a while. This is normal. Hes recovering well. He just wants to be recovered already.

"Im sorry," Blaine says. He slides a stack of blueberry pancakes onto Kurts plate and kisses his cheek. Kurt turns for a second kiss on the lips. Blaine makes it three--and then a fourth that lingers long and slow, and is hot enough to speed Kurts heart and catch in his lungs. Its a promise for later tonight, after the luncheon, the launch, and the reception. "Youre going to be amazing today," Blaine says, and takes the seat across the corner of the table, next to Kurt.

Kurt smiles. "I know," he says, and he does know.

.

Junes car is scheduled to pick up Blaine just before lunch. Kurt helps him dress for her luncheon while Blaine runs through his speech at high speed. The event is to raise funds for a new state-of-the-art integrated care cryo recovery center at Oasis, so its a cause close to both their hearts.

Junes scheduling it for today has been strategic, to prime people for the new luxury liner, Bretagnes, launch in the afternoon, at which Kurt is presenting his installation of the ships blue drive array with a live performance. Kurts told his story in media interviews often enough that the connection should come naturally to the audience, without anyone having to state it outright. At least thats the plan. Kurt isnt attending the luncheon. The high society charity politicking is Blaines milieu.

Blaines not performing today; hes speaking in his capacity as a member of the projects advisory committee. After which hell help charm Junes guests out of their money, while also looking beautiful on her arm. And he does look beautiful.

"Perfect," Kurt says, as he smooths the bow tie across Blaines collar, and then runs his thumb along Blaines freshly shaved jaw. "You know, youre kinda hot when youre being all political," he says.

To which Blaine grins and glances down, pleased. When he looks back up, he leans in to give Kurt a brief kiss on the lips. "Ill see you this afternoon," Blaine says. "Break a leg."

"Im proud of you, honey" Kurt says, "Good luck with the shmoozing."

.

Up on the orbital, Rachel is with him in his makeshift dressing room as he prepares. Hes about to vibrate out of his exceptionally finely tailored suit.

"Youve always had such terrible stage fright, Kurt," she says over the rim of her glass of champagne. "But youre going to be fantastic.

"I dont know," Kurt says. "I might open my mouth and nothing will come out. Or I could just drop dead on the spot. Rachel, you saw the crowd out there."

"Theyre all here to be dazzled by you."

Kurt snorts. "Theyre here to be dazzled by the new liner."

"Which you tuned with your ground breaking and innovative new technique, and whose revolutionary new warp drive youre presenting, installed on a new liner more luxurious than any before her. The Bretagne is truly a majestic vessel, the likes of which... blah blah, I cant remember the next bit. Um, shes a vessel destined to change the galactic map and space travel as we know it!" Rachel says, hamming up the enthusiasm to a comic degree.

Kurt groans, "You read that godawful sheet article yesterday? Ugh."

"They may have abused their thesaurus and the word new," Rachel says, "but they didnt say anything that wasnt true, and you know it, so Im not buying your false modesty for a minute," she says.

Kurt rolls his eyes, and glares into the mirror as he undoes his tie for the third time. He keeps ending up with the dimple askew. "Did you see my Dad and Carole out there? Finn?"

"Yes, I did," she says, and he glances at her reflection behind him to catch the sparkle in her eye that confirms, she definitely saw Finn.

"Okay," Kurt says to the knot hes just tied. Its not perfect, but its probably as good as hell get tonight with fingers that feel like little more than articulated, overcooked noodles. He steps back, turns and twists to get a better view of the whole of himself in the mirror.

"Your ass looks fantastic," Rachel says. "Better than ever."

"I was checking the drape of the jacket," he says primly. But he smiles in pleasure at her compliment. God knows hes worked hard enough getting his body back to health. He runs a hand over the muscular curve of his buttocks. Its still a little bit surreal, but hes made his PT proud, and he feels hes earned the right to indulge a little vanity, which the cut of his trousers definitely do.

"Mmhm," Rachel says, grinning

"I wish you were singing with me," he says. "Id be less nervous."

"Me too, but Id only sour your array. And Im not too proud to admit Im jealous. Are you sure I cant tempt you away from the College? Come join me and Marley on the dark side of private tuning practice. You could make so much more money with us than you do lecturing or whatever, and doing these commissions for the Federation."

"Im happy where I am," he says.

"I know you are," she says fondly.

The lights dim and theres a chime. He has fifteen minutes. He spins on his toe and stares at Rachel, where shes sprawled in the rooms armchair, her pink organza gown fanned around her.

"Oh god," he says, as his stomach twists itself into a new knot of anxiety. His chest feels like its full of disoriented moths. Thats whats going to come out when he opens his mouth: moths. "Im going to pass out."

Rachel sets her glass aside, stands, and takes him by the shoulders. "No youre not. Kurt," she says, and she gives him her most determined look. "This is not the hardest thing youve done."

Thats true. He takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily as he nods.

"You can do things no one else can do. Youve discovered something amazing. Now youre going to go out there and blow them all away with what youve created. Youll bring the house down, there wont be a dry eye in the bay. Trust me. And you will more than earn the standing ovation you get. Im so happy for you, Kurt. You deserve all the best things."

He fails to blink back the warmth in his eyes and pulls her into a grateful hug. "I hope you know youre one of those best things."

"Of course I do. Youre very lucky to have me," she says. And he laughs and wipes his eyes. Hes ready.

.

He steps out onto the stage set before the Bretagnes open stern. Her drive chamber is exposed, the casing open, and a single spotlight shines on the thirty-six blue spears shimmering in the light.

Facing the audience, Kurt straightens his shoulders and waits for the other spot to light him. In the private box to his left he sees Blaine sitting with June. His family sit with her, and as he waits, he sees Rachel come in and take the empty seat next to Finn.

The light comes on him, but Kurt doesnt flinch. He takes a breath and he opens his mouth and nothing but music comes out:

"Something has changed within me," he sings, and the crystals voices join him, rising in complex and flawless harmony, swelling to fill the vast vault of the docking bay. The crystals sing with him, and its as if their song and his voice fuse the music within the atoms of his body, setting his whole body in thrall to it. Nothing compares. Kurt tips his head back, raises his arms, and lets his body become a conduit for the sound and the sublime rapture of it.

"I think Ill try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!"

When he and the crystals fade into silence at the end, theres a single moment that hangs in perfect stillness before the applause. Then it comes in a deafening roaring wave. Kurt wipes the tears from his cheeks with a trembling hand and takes his first bow of many.

.

At the reception after, hes delighted to run into Marley. She looks gorgeous in a strapless blue sequined gown with her hair cut into a smooth bob. Shes been working with Rachels firm now for two months. It suits her. After they catch up, she wants to talk shop with Kurt, and her enthusiasm for the subject is as engaging as ever.

His Dad and Carole find him, and they discuss the coming weekends plans. Carole coos abundant praise over his performance. His Dad looks at him with so much pride in his eyes, squeezes his shoulder, and says, "Thats my boy." Kurt has to wipe the tears from his eyes for the third time that night.

While other people come and go, to make small talk and marvel at his presentation and the ship, he nurses a flute of warming champagne and intermittently watches Blaine across the room, with Junes hand on his arm. Hell never quite get used to it, he doesnt think. Hes not jealous, not when he knows Blaines smile is sincere, and he knows that this is what Blaine wants to be doing. But he sometimes wishes they could attend these events together, that their private relationship didnt require quite so much public discretion.

Here on New Sierra, it wouldnt matter if Blaine were in Junes employ or still working for himself, a Host cannot be seen to be exclusively attached to a romantic partner outside their work. The illusion of potential availability must be maintained. Its part of the game, that even when Blaine is under contract to June, it must be convincing that its his choice, in every moment hes there to be by her side, and that reflects on her power and charisma favourably. Because Blaine could be anyones—a Host always chooses their clients--but hes hers.

It gives Kurt a headache to try to make sense of it, but what he can understand and appreciate is the power and influence thats accrued around Blaine as a result of Junes patronage. Blaine knows how to play the game very well, and Kurts come to understand what Blaine told him so long ago now, that his coming back to New Sierra would require the right circumstances. These are those circumstances: Blaine wants to be able to make a difference here. He would have sold his contract to June even without Kurt being a factor. But Kurt is still glad he was a factor. And that he is.

Anyway, that he and Blaine are together is probably the worst kept secret in the circles they run, but so long as they dont flaunt their relationship, its no detriment to either of them. Kurts understands, too, why Blaine called the navigation of New Sierran society stressful. It wasnt remotely an issue on Oasis.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Rachel asks from beside him. He didnt see her approach.

"You wont get much for a penny," Kurt replies, and Rachel giggles. Her breath smells like champagne, but shes glowing and happy tonight, so its not only the open bar that has her so bright.

"I just wanted to say you were exactly as amazing as I knew youd be, and also good night. Im taking Finn dancing."

"That sounds perilous. Watch out for your feet," Kurt says, but he grins. "Im happy for you both, sweetie. Have fun." He kisses her cheek, and she goes.

He slips away after that, feeling overwhelmed by the press of people and their eager attention. Its flattering, but its more than he can comfortably endure for now.

.

Along the quiet, evening-dimmed corridors, he finds the lift to take up to the level where Betty is docked. He hasnt been up to see her in a few months.

His College faculty card opens the door to her bay. He stands for a time, uncertain how he wishes to approach her—or even if he truly wants to be any closer than this. Compared to the sleek swan-like lines and broad warp-wing span of the Bretagne, shes tiny and squat, a fat-bodied bird with tiny wings and a small head. Its incredible that she made that last jump. Kurt knows enough now to understand how the odds were stacked against him and Betty. It gives him a chill to think how improbable that last throw of the dice was.

He walks forward a few steps, with his arms crossed and hands tucked behind his elbows. "Hello, old friend," he says to her.

A footstep behind him. Familiar. Blaine. Kurts shoulders relax and he half-turns as Blaine comes up to him.

"I thought Id find you here," Blaine says.

They stand together in easy silence for a while, looking up at Bettys battered hull plating. "Did I ever tell you why I bought her?" Kurt asks eventually.

"No," Blaine says.

"I didnt know how to tell a good ship from a lemon. But, um, you know my mothers name was Elizabeth? I figured it was some kind of sign. From the universe. That if I bought this ship, shed carry me home safely. Its silly, but..." Kurt trails off with a shrug. "In the finish, she did."

"Its not silly," Blaine says. He pulls Kurt against him, presses a fierce kiss to Kurts hair, and Kurt can feel in the pressure of it and the way Blaines hand tightens around his arm, all the unspoken fears Blaine had carried during that time. For this moment, standing here with Betty, Kurt holds his own memories lightly and without pain. Its not the fondness of nostalgia, but its something not wholly unlike it. He doesnt feel regret. Betty brought him to where he is.

"Will June be missing you?" he asks.

"Not yet," Blaine says.

"Howd it go this afternoon?"

"Ill tell you about it later, but," Blaine says, "it went exceedingly well."

"Im glad," Kurt says. "You and June are a formidable team."

Blaine shrugs it off. "You were incredible up there tonight," he says. "For the first time, I feel like I got glimpse of what it must be like for you, to sing that way. Thank you for sharing that with so many of us."

"Theres nothing else like it," Kurt says. He considers, for an instant, climbing up into Betty and seeing how her crystals would like a song tonight. Maybe Blaine would come up with him. But hes wearing a very expensive suit, and hes among the guests of honor. A long absence would be conspicuous. "I should get back though."

"Yeah, me too. June wants to leave within the hour. I was thinking about going to The Lighthouse after I dropped her off?"

It sounds like a good cap to their evening. "Ill meet you there," Kurt says.

.

Kurt arrives at The Lighthouse late, the night is deep and cooling toward the mornings dew. Kurt climbs the stairs and unbuttons his light coat in anticipation of the warmth inside.

None of The Lighthouses patrons wouldve been at any of the events today. Most of them are probably oblivious to their existence, though the Bretagne has been newsworthy.

Blaine likes to come here on his own time—unpaid of course--and Kurt likes to meet him here. The ease of anonymity is relaxing, and the place reminds both of them of The Blue Bar. Its clientele is diverse, many weary from working long hours or theyre in transit this close to the port. Blaines never been recognized as anyone but the guy at the piano who knows all the songs.

Kurt drapes his coat over an empty chair and takes a seat by the stained glass window depicting the bars namesake. He orders a whiskey sour.

Fairy lights adorn the bars low ceiling, painting everyone in a kaleidoscope of color and reflecting across the polished surface of the piano. When Blaine spots Kurt, he grins and finishes his current song with a flourish up the keyboard.

Blaine speaks to the crowd then, but the affection in his voice is for Kurt alone. "Id like to dedicate this next one to... the love of my life," he says.

Kurt inclines his head and tips his glass to Blaine.

The piano is light and playful as Blaine begins the song:

"Its very clear
Our love is here to stay
Not for a year, but forever and a day"

Blaine plays for another hour, and Kurt has a second drink while he just relaxes and enjoys and soaks in Blaines enjoyment, the enjoyment of the audience, his own contentment in the moment, and the feeling that he is exactly where hes meant to be in the universe.

And then they walk home together.

.

Blaine presses him face first against the wall in their bedroom, and his hand curves around Kurts throat, a gentle, covetous collar as his teeth graze the back of Kurts neck. Kurt shivers and moans. Blaines other hand tugs Kurts belt and fly open. The smooth plaster is cool beneath Kurts cheek, but Blaines palm is hot wrapping around him.

"Are you happy tonight?" Blaine asks softly, pressing against Kurts ass so Kurt can feel how much hes wanted.

"Perfectly," Kurt answers.

"Good," Blaine says, and he drops to his knees behind Kurt.

.

Naked and cooling in the golden light of their bedside sconces, Kurt rolls toward Blaine.

"What about you?" Kurt asks. He kisses the small tattoo thats etched over Blaines heart, a swallow in flight. Kurt has a matching one on the back of his shoulder, behind his heart. Even when he was heading so far away from Blaine, Blaine had his back, and Blaine held his heart.

A safe return home, always, theyve promised each other, no matter where their paths may take them in between.

"Hmm?" Blaine inquires sleepily.

"Are you happy tonight?"

"Yes," Blaine says. "Perfectly."

Other questions Kurt might ask Blaine catch in his throat. He touches Blaines skin, and—its not doubt exactly. Not in Blaine, but in their happiness. Tonight, he cant stop himself from wondering what the catch will be, whats it going to cost him. When will he wake up from the pod? Its just the mornings nightmare still haunting him, he knows. Hes been through this so many times. But tonight, its been one year, and despite himself, now that the days events are past and the thrill of sex diminished, hes ruminating on it.

"What is it?" Blaine asks.

"The nightmare this morning?" Kurt says. "It was one of the worse ones. And Im just reminding myself this is real. Im here with you. Its not going to vanish on me."

"Yes, Kurt. This is real."

"Its, um," Kurt swallows hard. "Today, its been a year since I woke up in your bed on Oasis."

"Oh," Blaine says, he props himself up on his elbows. "Im sorry. I didnt even realize."

"Its okay," Kurt says. "I just..." He shifts off Blaine and turns to his back.

"What do you need?"

"Its not actually perfect, is it?"

Blaine looks at him tenderly and long. Kurt needs to be reminded of the problems sometimes, lest the good things seem too good to be real.

"Its not perfect," Blaine says. "Last week we fought over rearranging the music room. You got so mad at me you walked out, and you were gone so long, I worried something bad had happened to you."

Kurt offers an apologetic smile and touches Blaines tattoo again. "Thats right," he says, because the exchange of imperfections is not for the purposes of rehashing anything; its just a catalog, theres rarely anything new of import that they havent already discussed.

"My lecture the other day was terrible," Kurt says. The students were confused by the math for predicting potential large blue array permutations. The harder I tried to make it clear, the worse it got. I had two students leave the lecture hall before the end."

"What about that clusterfuck of a cocktail party June took me to on the riverboat last month? Half the guests ended up with food poisoning. Including me."

"I hate that I cant dance with you at events like tonight," Kurt says. "But Im so proud of you for the things youre accomplishing with June."

"I miss having other clients sometimes," Blaine says, and then amends, "But missing something doesnt mean Im not completely happy with what I have." He squeezes Kurts hand.

And since its starting to get serious, Kurt adds an easier one. "Weve run out of coffee. I forgot to stop by the store."

"Really? Damn."

And so it goes. They take turns talking about the irritants and problems that have disrupted their happy lives in the past few weeks. They laugh about them, and its good.

"Feeling more real yet?" Blaine asks as their back and forth dwindles into silence.

Kurt still struggles to explain the way the nightmares affect him sometimes, but he knows Blaine doesnt need him to explain. And he knows he can always ask for the things he needs from Blaine; thats always been true. So he looks at Blaine and he asks, "Kiss me so Ill be sure?"

Blaine does, and Kurt is.