November 10th

“When do you think he’s gonna wake up?”

“I don’t know.  But... I don’t know, did we do the right thing?”
“We have no idea where he lives, Kurt.”

“What if Seb comes home?”

“I’ll deal with him, ‘kay?”

“Alright, Rachel.  I’m going to go check on him.”

Kurt walks over to his (and Sebastian’s) side of the apartment and checks on Blaine, who was placed in his (and Sebastian’s) bed.

Blaine lays in bed, comfortable.  He actually is trying to get back to sleep, and he’s sure it’s working, because he can hear Kurt and Rachel’s voices so clearly, even if what they’re saying is really strange.  All he wants is to know what happens at the end of his dream, after he tells Kurt that he loves him.  His eyes remain closed and he listens to footsteps.

“Blaine?  Are you... okay?”

“Mmm.”

“Are you awake?”

Blaine’s eyes flutter open and stare at the ceiling.  It’s a whole minute of blinking before his face takes on a confused look.  He turns his head to the side and notices that he’s not in his apartment.  In fact, he’s never seen any of this stuff before in his entire life.  Suddenly very alarmed, he sits up quickly, his eyes falling on Kurt.

“What’s going on?!”

“Don’t be freaked out, Blaine.  But you passed out in the park, and Rach and I didn’t know where you lived.  So we brought you back to our place.  I realize it’s weird and awkward.  But Seb isn’t home.  He never did come home...”

Kurt pulls a chair over next to the bed and sits down, biting his lip.

“Did you mean what you said back there?”

Blaine stares at Kurt, putting pieces together in his head.  He was in Kurt and Rachel (and Sebastian)’s apartment.  And he had passed out last night.  He wonders if he actually said what he thinks he did, or if that might really be a dream.

“...What did I say?”

“You said... you said you thought you... loved... me...”

Blaine’s face turns a bright red that rivals his favorite bowtie.

“Haaa... ...Y-yeah.  I did.”

Kurt blanches and glanced to the side, away from Blaine.

“Oh.  Well, that certainly complicates things, doesn’t it?”

“Am I capable of anything but word vomit?”

“It’s about as likely as me never mistexting again.”

“So, no then.”

Blaine falls back into what he imagines is Kurt’s pillow.  He hopes it isn’t actually Sebastian’s, because he actually likes the way it smells, and tries not to think about it as he realizes just how much his hand is hurting.

“Probably not.”

Kurt watches Blaine lying on his bed.  He smiles fondly and sits back in his chair.

Letting out a sigh, Blaine closes his eyes for a second, trying to make a decision about what he should do next, but his hand is throbbing.  Had he slept on it?

“Yeah.  So, I think I’m going to go home now.”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“Nah, I can make it.  Where are we?”

Blaine sits up again.

“No, I insist.  You passed out last night.  I want to make sure you’re alright.”

“Really, I’m okay.”

He swings his legs out of the blankets and goes to stand up, wavering only slightly.

Kurt stands up out of his chair and moves to support Blaine by the elbow.

“Please, just let me?  Or do you not want me to know where you live?”

Blaine looks up at Kurt, eyes very serious.

“I’d have told you where I live back on day one.  No secrets, remember?”

“Then let me walk you home.  For my own sanity.”

“Alright.  Okay.  You win.”

“Do you want something to eat or drink before we head out?”

“No, I’m not hungry.  Thanks though.  Plus, the way you say your roommate cooks, I don’t trust any food here.”

“Alright.  Although I wasn’t lying a couple of nights ago when I said I was a decent chef.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that when I’m not expecting my worst nightmare to burst through the door any second.”

“Your... worst nightmare?  Who are you talking about?”

“Your boyfriend...”

“He... he hasn’t really been home.  I don’t think he’ll be back here for a while.  He’s staying with another friend of ours.”

“Well, it would be just my luck, and we all know what kind of luck I have, that he comes home right now.  And I’m in your bed.”

“To be perfectly honest... I don’t think I care what he’d think if he saw you here.”

“I’m not sure how to take that.”

“... I don’t know.  Come on, let’s go.”

“Oi, you two okay in there?”

“Let’s.”

Blaine stretches a tiny bit and finds his shoes on the floor, slipping into them quickly.  He checks his pockets for his phone and finds something that he’d meant to give to Kurt some time ago, and has been carrying around since the night they’d kissed.  He discreetly sets it on Kurt’s nightstand while Kurt isn’t looking.

“Rachel, that depends on what you mean by okay.”

Kurt walks out of the room and finds Rachel waiting

“Seriously, Rach?”

“I’m concerned for my best friend and his texting buddy.  How are you feeling, Blaine?”

“Better, I guess, but thanks for asking.”

“That’s good.  I’m glad.”

“I’m walking with him back to his apartment.  I’ll be back later.  If Seb comes back...”

“I’ll text you a warning.”

“That’s why you’re my best friend.  Ready to go, Blaine?”

“Yes.  Let’s go.  After you...”

Kurt leads Blaine out of the building.

“You’re going to have to take over on directions here.”

Blaine glances around, getting his bearings.

“I live across the street from Madison Square Park.  26th Street.  All this time, you’ve only lived a few blocks from me.  Small world.”

“It’s insane, isn’t it.  Yeah, we’re on 31st Street right now.  Shall we, then?”

“Let’s.”

Starting down the street, Blaine walks slowly, slower than he normally would.  The sun is bright, and he feels slightly hungover, though he hasn’t had any alcohol since the ‘call me when you’re sober’ conversation with Kurt.

***

“So, here we are?”

“Up the street a little.  See those steps?”

“Oh, okay.  Yeah.  I see them.  I still can’t get over how close we’ve lived to each other.”

“I know.  It’s a little unnerving, actually.”

They approach the steps and Blaine leads Kurt to the door.

“You want to come up?”

“Um, sure.  If you don’t mind.”

“It’s only fair.  I’ve seen where you live.”

“Alright then, lead away.”

Blaine leads Kurt into the building, and up to the 6th floor, pulling out his keys and unlocking the door.  He turns the knob and pushes the door open to an empty living room.

“Well, here it is.  Nothing special, really.”

“I still hate you.”

Kurt freezes at the sound of the voice and glances over at Blaine, horror written all over his face.  It couldn’t be...

Blaine stares at the bedroom door, wide eyed, before looking to Kurt.  

“That’s not what you were saying last night, Smythe.  Or earlier this morning.”

“Fuck you, Montgomery.  I’m leaving now.”

The bedroom door opens, and Sebastian walks out, still pulling his shirt over his head.  He freezes at the sight of Kurt and Blaine.

“Seb...?”

Wes comes following after Sebastian, also freezing at the sight of the other two, but the expression on his face is less than nervous as he pulls up the fly on his jeans.

“Well, hi, guys.”

“Seriously?”

Kurt’s face scrunches up and he turns around, mumbling something inaudible before leaving the apartment.

“What’s he doing back here?”

“Couldn’t tell you.  How’re you, Blaine?”

“I LIVE here, Sebastian.  And, Wes, I... I don’t really have anything to say to you.”

“This is really awkward, so I’ll just leave you two to work things out.”

Sebastian brushes past Blaine, turning around to glare at Wes over Blaine’s shoulder, mouthing that he hates him, and then leaves.

“Yeah, good idea.”

“Fuck you, Smythe.”

Wes acts like nothing is wrong and struts past Blaine to the kitchen, opening up the tin of chocolate chip cookies that Blaine made him.

“Mmm, Babe, you really are great at baking cookies.”

Blaine stares after Wes, his mouth dropping open in awe at the way Wes is acting.

“You’re kidding right now, right?  You... he... How long has this been going on?”

“You think I’m just going to give you information like that?”

“I was hoping for that.  I saw you the other night.  With Sebastian.  At JD’s.”

Wes turns around, halfway through chewing a cookie and stares at Blaine.

“I thought you didn’t like that place?”

“I don’t.  Kurt asked me for help looking for his boyfriend.  I offered up the only bar I knew of that they hadn’t looked in already.  Really classy, Wes.”

“You were being all emo over Kurt.  Kurt was being all emo over ‘something’ according to Smythe.  So we got together.  Much like we’ve been doing for the past, oh, I don’t know, four or five years.”

“You asshole!  They’ve been together that entire time!  How can you stand around and destroy other people’s relationships?”

“Oh, you’re one to talk.  Making out with someone’s boyfriend in the middle of the park.  At least I had the decency to find a place where people wouldn’t be able to stare.”

“That... Don’t bring that into this.”

“Why not, Blaine?  Afraid to admit you’re just as bad as me?  I trained you, after all.  Oh, and while we’re at it, you’re already over Eli?  He dumps you after, what, five years, and you’re just, moving on to the next guy you text?”

“I’m not ...over Eli.  And, we’re not talking about that.  How could you willingly sleep with someone’s boyfriend like that?  How could you even think about it?”

“You’re such a hypocrite.”

“I... I didn’t... think about sleeping with someone’s boyfriend.”

Blaine looks at the floor, guilty.  He knows that he’s a terrible liar and that Wes isn’t going to let it slide.

“Oh, Blaine.  You’re so adorable and honest.  No wonder you didn’t catch on to what I was trying to teach you when I took you under my wing back at Dalton.  You’re too innocent to be corrupted.  Which is such a shame, because you’re so fucking hot.  You’d have made a great partner in crime.”

“Don’t talk all condescendingly at me.  I knew you were a jerk but I hardly thought you were capable of this.”

“You’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.  Probably bake me some more cookies even.  You’re a follower, Blaine.  And you like the security of having me on your side.”

“You’re on your own side, Wesley.”

“Oooh, look at you.  If you don’t stick by my side, you’re going to regret it.  You’ve seen how I make everyone I hate’s lives hell.  I’ll do it to you too.”

Wes stalks out of the room and back to his bedroom, where he closes the door and turns his music up loud enough that Blaine’s head starts to pound.  Blaine picks up the still-open tin of cookies and throws it against the wall, scattering cookies and crumbs everywhere.  He finds his bottle of prescription painkillers in his room and takes two of them instead of one, trying to drown out the frustration and the pain in his head and broken hand.  Staring at his piano, he wishes he could play.  Instead, he lays back on his bed, thinking about what Wes said, and how he is a hypocrite; he’s just like his roommate.

Rachel, Seb was at Blaine’s apartment

What?

He... and Wes... (unsent)

I’m going to be sick, Rachel

Where are you?

Madison Square Park.

Seb’s calling me

Get out of there.  I’ll come meet you

[silence]

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel don’t you dare talk to Sebastian

[silence]

Rachel gets her coat on and dashes out of the apartment, heading for the park

“How could you?”

“You did something with Blaine, did you not?”
“We’re not even officially broken up.”

“We were together when you did whatever it was you did with Blaine.”
“Seb, how could you?”

“It was just the one nig-”

“NO, it wasn’t, Seb!  You texted me drunk a couple of nights ago.  I went looking for you.  Blaine helped.  We were at JD’s.  You were there.”

“Ku-”

“With Wes.  When else have you lied to me?”

“Kurt, I can expla-”

“Then explain.”

“First tell me what you and Blaine did.”

“We kissed.  Because he made me feel special.”

“I just... I can’t, Kurt.  I thought I made you feel special.”
“You did, it’s just... I’m so confused.”
“Kurt.  If you’re confused, then... I can’t do this.”

“YOU can’t do this?  You’re the one who slept with someone else!”

“Because YOU were hung up on some enigma who mixtexted you!”

“Just tell me the truth, Sebastian.  The two times I know about, are they the only times you’ve cheated?”

“No.”

“When?”

“Every time we’ve fought since we got together.”

“We’re done, Sebastian.  Just, go.  Now.”

“Kurt!  Sebastian, what did you do?”

“Rachel, I’m going to be sick.”

“Have fun with you text pal, Kurt.  You obviously care more about him than me.”

Sebastian stalks off.  Rachel immediately wraps her arms around Kurt who begins to sob.

“It’s okay, sweetie.  It’s okay.”

Rachel, this doesn’t have to change anything between us

[silence]

Okay, then.  I thought we were friends too

[silence]

Wes.  We need to talk.

Oh we do?

Yes.  Kurt just broke up with me

What’s your problem?  So what?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years, and its over

What do you want me to do about it?

I dunno need someone to tlak to

Well, I’d say you could come over, but Blaine is still here.  I still hate you though.  I just need to make that clear.

how can u say taht after whattt weve done i just fuck blaine come see me pls

Fine, where are you?

i dont no i just trees lots of trees

Near my place?  I’ll be there soon.  Don’t hurt yourself.

k wes yah near ur place

Wes peeks his head out of his bedroom after turning off his music.  Blaine is nowhere to be seen, so he grabs his keys and heads downstairs and into the park, where he finds Sebastian.

“Well, I’m here.”

Sebastian is a mess, sitting on the ground against a tree, staring at his phone.

“I’ve texted him 30 times and he isn’t replying.”

“Well, he broke up with you.  He probably doesn’t want to talk to you.  Hence the not replying.”

“But I don’t know what happened.  He kissed Blaine, and pretended everything was alright, and I don’t even know how he found out about us.  What are we, anyway?”

“Blaine kissed him.  And he found out about us because they went hunting for you the other night and found us at JD’s.  And, what do you mean, what are we?  What kind of question is that?”

Wes won’t admit it to anyone, even himself, but he is feeling slightly nervous about Sebastian’s question.  

“Right, he told me.  And I’m asking, we’ve slept with each other so often over the past few years.  Are we... an item?  Are we just enemies with benefits?  I think somewhere along the line I may have started to feel... attached.  Addicted.  I don’t know.”

“I don’t know how to answer that... I... Attached maybe.  Addicted yes.  Technically, I’m still with Blaine though.”

“How can you still be with him?  He kissed Kurt.  You... and I...”

“Did you really just ask me that?  I was in how many established relationships and seeing you on the side?  Blaine’s guilty.  He likes having me on his side.  What are you trying to ask me, Sebastian?”

“I’m just feeling really vulnerable right about now, Wes.  I know you don’t talk about feelings that often, but I think I might feel something with you.”

“Sebastian... I’ve spent the last... however many years... purposely not feeling anything... not letting myself feel anything for you.  I thought we established a long time ago that we hate each other?”

“We did, but... I don’t know.  It’s stupid.  I just wasn’t ready to break up with Kurt yet.  But do you think... you could feel something for me?”

Wes hugs his arms to his middle.  The whole ‘feelings’ thing is awkward for him because he’s spent his entire life ignoring them for what makes him feel good at whatever moment he’s in.  He’s silent for a really long time.

“...Maybe.  You’re asking a lot of me, and I wasn’t prepared for this.”

“Well, if that’s what you think, then I’m just gonna go talk to someone else.  I’ll text you if I need you.  I hate you.  Screw you.  And all that.”

Sebastian says the last four sentences halfheartedly, waving Wes away as he stands up weakly and begins to walk away.

Wes frowns at Sebastian and what he says.  He furrows his eyebrows as the other starts to walk away.  Considering his options for a second, he stands there, letting the seconds pass.  He starts to panic, jogging after Sebastian and grabbing his arm, pulling him around and looking at him for a second.

“Don’t... Don’t leave.”

Hesitating for a fraction of a second, Wes then pulls Sebastian toward him, kissing him in a different way than he ever has before.

Sebastian tries to pull away when Wes grabs him, but even that is halfhearted.  When Wes kisses him, he instinctively kisses back, but pulls back just as quickly, staring at the other.

“What the hell, Montgomery?”

“Don’t tell me you were bullshitting back there.”

“What about you?  You just told me you weren’t interested in that sort of relationship.”

“No I didn’t.  I said you were asking a lot of me.  There’s a difference.”

“Well excuse me if you were sending mixed messages.”

“I know.  This is hard, when I’ve spent so much time loathing you.”

“How do you think it’s been for me?  I hated you back in school.  But I kept going to you.  What the hell kind of power do you have?”

“Whatever it is, it works.  Smythe, tell me what you want.  I’m more than willing to oblige.”

“I want you to tell me how you feel about me, if anything.”

“You have to pick the hardest thing.  Do you honestly think I’d have come running, from wherever I was, whenever you called, just because I wanted a booty call?”

“So... what you’re saying is...”

“...Maybe I’ve always had a thing for you.”

“Really now?  I was under the impression that you loathed me.”

“Yeah, things can get lost in translation.”

“No shit, Sherlock.  So what now?  You admitted you ‘have a thing’ for me, but you said before you’re still with Blaine.”

Sebastian uses air quotes around ‘have a thing’.

“He’s easy enough to get rid of.”

“What you did before.  Again.”

Sebastian moves in close to Wes and kisses him, similar to how Wes kissed him earlier.

Blaine opens his eyes, noticing that it’s dark in his room.  The music from the bedroom next to his is off, so either Wes is in the living room, or he’s not home.  Sitting up, his head swirls a bit; the pain killers haven’t worn off yet.  He fumbles for the light next to the bed, switching it on, and finding his phone.  8pm.

Kurt, I had a talk with Wes and I think I’m going to forgive him. (unsent)

Are you okay?

Sebastian and I broke up

I feel like I’m dying

Please don’t die.  I’d miss you entirely too much. (unsent)

You broke up?

Yeah.  He told me the truth.  I told him we were done.

Oh, wow.

I don’t know what happened.  He said it’s been going on since we got together.  Every time we fought, apparently

[silence]

If you’re upset with me, just say it (unsent)

Blaine?

Why do you have to tell me you’re broken up with Sebastian AFTER I decide to stay with Wes? (unsent)

Yeah?

Am I a bad person?

Why would you think that? You’re the least bad out of all of us.

I am, though.  Obviously, or Seb wouldn’t have felt the need to be with someone else

You’re the victim here. (unsent)

What makes you think that?

It’s obvious, isn’t it?  I was a bad boyfriend.  Especially now.  I got caught up texting you, and I stopped paying attention to him

[silence]

You hate me now too, don’t you?

I could never hate you.

I just implied that you were the reason for my breakup

How could you not hate me?

I know you did.  I’ve been telling you that this was all my fault since it first started.  I’m done causing you problems, Kurt.

What are you saying, Blaine?

There’s just too much back and forth.  It’s too hard.  When I think about never seeing or talking to you again, it feels like someone is reaching into my chest and ripping out my heart.  But I keep hurting you.  And I’m tired of hurting you.  It’s my fault you’re not happy.  It’s my fault you broke up with your boyfriend of forever amount of years.  It’s my fault I kissed you in the park.  Us even talking is all my fault.  All I’ve done is cause you pain.  I’m done doing that.

[silence]

Kurt stares at his phone, starting to cry.  With trembling fingers, he types out a reply after a full minute of crying.

Alright then.  If that’s how you feel, then maybe we should stop.  Goodbye Blaine.  For good, this time.

But, I think I’ll always love you. (unsent)

When Kurt’s text comes through on his phone, Blaine can barely see through the tears that have welled up in his eyes.  They suddenly tip out and fall down his face.  He drops his phone, not caring where it lands, and lets his head rest in his hands.  As the phone hits the floor, the last message he hadn’t sent yet, still up on the screen, sends itself.

But, I think I’ll always love you.

Kurt lets out a strangled noise upon receiving the last text, and quickly turns to his contacts where he deletes Blaine’s number and turns off his phone.

Having been sitting in his living room for the entire conversation, Kurt walks over to his bedroom (now only his) and sits on his bed, staring around the room through his tears.  After a moment, he lies down on his bed, his face in the pillow that Blaine was using the night before.  It smells like him.  Another strangled sob escapes Kurt before he sits up.  Something catches his eye on his nightstand.  He reaches over and picks it up.

“Oh god...”

***

Blaine is numb when he hears someone open the door to his apartment.  He doesn’t bother to check what time it is, but he knows it’s well after midnight because when he dropped his phone it was somewhere around 9pm, and it’s definitely been three hours, at least, that he’s been laying on his bed, staring at the wall in his bedroom.  The door to his bedroom cracks open, light from the living room streaming in and trying to blind him.  His eyes, already burning from having been cried out, squeeze shut.

“Blaine?”

“What?”

Blaine’s voice is flat, and he doesn’t bother to sit up when he answers Wes.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Wes comes into Blaine’s room, leaving the door open a bit for light.  He sits down on the edge of Blaine’s bed, noticing in the dim light that Blaine is fully dressed, shoes and all.  He thinks for a minute before he says anything.

“I’m, uh... we need to talk.”

“Kay.”

“Listen, uh.  I’ve been a dick to you.  Since we met, you were never anything but nice, and friendly, and caring, and the best friend I could ever have asked for.  I mean, you baked me cookies... I was a dick.  I still am a dick.  I’m always going to be a dick.”

Blaine sits up then.  He’s never heard Wes talk with any emotion other than angry or sarcastic or drunk.  This is sincere.  And even on some level, sad.  He’s confused.

“Oh, wow.  This is going to be harder than I thought.  Blaine, I’ve strung you along for years.  You moved to New York with me when I needed someone to uproot.  Yeah, I know we’ve only been together for a little bit, but it’s not going to work.  I’m too much of a dick to be with someone as amazing as you.  I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be moving out.  I’m getting another apartment with another friend.  I hope you understand.  You’re too good for me.  Go find someone that will treat you right.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Wes shakes his head, putting his hand out and resting it on Blaine’s for a second before getting up and, with one glance over his shoulder, walking out of the bedroom, closing the door and leaving Blaine in the darkness, once again.

Blaine had no tears left to cry over Wes.  He might have let a little out had he not been more devastated that he’d lost Kurt.  Wes, after all, was the only reason for him being in New York.  He was the reason Blaine had gotten all those parts back in school.  The reason Blaine was who he was.  He’d miss the other, but it still wasn’t overshadowing Kurt.