“We have to stop this.”

“Give me one good reason Kurt. I know you enjoy the way I make you feel.”

“That’s just it though. I want the romance. And yes the sex is great, but I need more. I need a man who likes me and not just how I moan in bed.”

Kurt put the phone down and let his head rest on his desk next to his keyboard. He hoped that his mysterious phone man wouldn’t take it too hard. Then he heard his phone ring two short vibrations against the white wood.

“Do you honestly think that’s why I’m here? Why I sit outside, imagining you? Why I can’t sleep, or eat, or breathe without thinking of you? You’re wrong it you do, Kurt. So very wrong.”

Kurt closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. Hope coursing through him like he knew it shouldn’t.

“I don’t even know your name.”

He waited for 20 minutes before he finally gave up and lied on his bed, fully dressed with tears rolling down his cheeks. Why couldn’t this boy just give him a name? Something to call him in his own mind? And why did he feel the irrational need to talk to this boy? Why did his heart flutter and his stomach get tight whenever the phone rang? Why couldn’t he just let go? Kurt fell asleep fitfully tossing and turning.

The next morning he woke up to his phone vibrating. He lept from the bed and sprinted to the desk, his whole body tensing with anticipation.

But the text was from Rachel.

“Diva day at my house?” Kurt sighed and replied, “Give me two hours.” He slowly and tiredly started his moisturizing routine. He carefully applied just the right amount of each product, never taking his eyes from the mirror, awkwardly and concisely avoiding looking at his phone. He stared into his closet with glossy eyes, only half absorbed in his clothing choices. He slid into his black skinny jeans, moving gingerly as if he was sore. He put on his shirt and accessories and stood back to look at himself in the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes from staying up til ungodly hours trying to figure out what his phone man wanted and it made a stark contrast to his pale skin, which seemed to glow against the darkness. He covered it up the best he could with concealer but it was a useless fight. He grabbed his keys and went up to the kitchen to tell his dad he was leaveing.

“Dad, I’m going to Rachel’s. We’re gonna have a little girl time.”

“Okay, have fun. What time will you be home?”

Kurt sucked air into his lungs. “Oh ah, I’m not gonna wanna send the whole day with Rachel Berry so probably 4.
I’ll call you if it’s any later.”

Burt nodded and waved his hand as he turned back to his breakfast and watched his wife come down the stairs smiling. Kurt rolled his eyes affectionately, waved and walked to his car. He slid into the drivers seat and put his keys into the ignition before he felt his phone vibrate. He knew who it was before he even took the phone out of his pocket. His palms started to sweat and his whole arm started to shake with a need to answer it. He tried to breathe and took it out of his pocket. He held it in his hand for a second before throwing it on the passengers seat, sitting up even straighter and shivering. When the phone vibrated again though his hand shot out before he could even think.

“Where are you going?”

“Answer me now, Kurt.”

“This is exactly why it isn’t fair that I don’t know your name. You know mine. What am I suppose to call you? And you know what, it’s none of your concern where I go.”
He tossed the phone back into the seat next to him and started the engine, smiling confidently as he drove to pick up coffee before heading to Rachels’. The Rent soundtrack was flowing from his speakers and he sang along, smiling and bobbing his head happily. He quickly walked into the coffee shop and ordered his drinks.

“One grande nonfat mocha, one caramel frap, and one hot tea.”

“Name please?”

“Kurt Hummel.”

He smiled as he took a seat, crossed his legs, and folded his hands infront of him. He felt his phone vibrate and he took a large gulp of air before slowly pulling it out.

“The nonfat mocha is yours, isn’t it?”

“That’s really none of your business either, but yes it is.”

Kurt dropped his phone into his bag and looked around the room trying to figure out which one his mystery man was. He heard his name called and his whole body swiveled to see who it had came from, but it was only his order being called up. He took his tray carefully and walked at a very calculated pace, trying not to look to shook up. He drove in a daze to Rachel’s and almost ran to her door. He knocked quickly, three short taps. He heard some muffled movements from the other side of the door and started tapping his foot in impatience.

“Just come in, Kurt.”

Kurt shoved the door open and closed it quickly before anyone could see into it. He saw Rachel taking Broadway sheet music books out of a filing cabinet and walking towards the stairs. Kurt looked around for his best friend.

“Rachel,” he choked out in a higher octave then his voice normal sat, “where is Mercedes?”

“I told her to come later so you and I could look at song choices for our duet for sectionals. Now I was thinking “For Good” would be a good choice, with me singing Elphaba’s part of course.”

She raised her eyebrows at Kurt, silently asking for his compliance. Kurt sighed and ran his hands down his face, trying to remove the annoyance physically.

“Rachel, I-“

His phone vibrated, saving him from berating the small women infront of him. He pursed his lips together and held up one fingur, signaling her to wait one moment.

“Are you with another man? They can’t fuck you half as good as I could, Kurt, and you know it.”

He took a shattered breath and tried to keep from shaking.

“Kurt?” Rachel sounded small and concerned. He looked up at her as she set down her music books and reached out for him. “What’s wrong? Who was that?”

He tried to smile reassuringly.

“Just my dad. We had a fight this morning and I’m still on edge.”

Rachel leaned back and watched him, trying to decide if he was lieing or not. “Are you sure? You look so tired and I’m pretty sure you wore that exact same outfit Tuesday. You can tell me, you know. I know we’re not always on the best terms because you’re my biggest competition for solos and you find me annoying, but we’re friends. You can trust me.”

Kurt looked down to meet her gaze. He smiled a bit easier and took her hand. “I’ll be fine. Promise. Now “For Good” would be great, but I want a key change at the end. I brought you hot tea because I know you don’t drink coffee.”

Rachel smiled brightly. “It’s better for my vocal health.” She giggled, grabbing her books and dragging Kurt up to her room to start their work before Mercedes arrived. His phone vibrated again and Kurt waited until she left to the bathroom to check it.

“Still fucking, Kurt? Always knew you’d last long. Tell me, does he make you cum like I do? Of course not. No one ever will, Kurt.”

He slipped his phone back in his pocket as he heard a knock at the door. “I’ll get it, Rachel!” He flew the door to let in his best friend. “Mercedes!” He cried, dragging her inside and up to Rachel’s room while kicking the door shut. “Boo!,” laughed back.

“I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Oh, what has she been doing to you?” Kurt laughed happily.

“You have no idea.”

“I HEARD THAT!”

All three divas started laughing and fell onto her bed. They we’re smiling and gossiping when Kurt felt another vibration in his pocket. He felt an itching to take it out and read it right then, but he calmed enough to excuse himself. “I’m going to the bathroom to freshen up and then I’m taking you lovely ladies out to eat. Sound good?” Both girls squealed and shooed him into the restroom. He smiled at them as he shut the door then fumbled clumsily for his phone.

“Wow, Kurt. A women now? Never would have thought you were that easy. Just getting it anywhere now?”

Kurt almost threw the phone at the wall in anger.

“That’s my best friend, you ass. I’m practicing for our glee club, and if you really thought that little of me, you wouldn’t be here. Trying to make yourself feel better? Trying to be a real man by talking down to me? I’ve got news for you, nothing’s gonna ever make you feel better because all you are is a pathetic excuse for a human being. I told you this has to stop and now I’m telling you this is done.”

Kurt tried to breathe, but he was too torn. On one hand he was so angry he couldn’t see straight and on the other he was heartbroken. He didn’t understand it. Why couldn’t this guy be normal and just talk to him? Why couldn’t he just give him the romance he longed for? Why did Kurt want him so badly? Why did he panic at the thought of not having him as his own, even if it was only through texts and dirty messages? He was on the verge of tears when he felt it.

“You can’t leave me, Kurt. I won’t let you.”

Kurt dropped his phone and it fell to the floor with a small clatter. He felt so many emotions running through his body, anger, fear, panic; but he was disgusted with the dominate emotion that seemed to take over everything and allow him to breathe.

Relief.