Blaine woke up alone in a bed with nothing but the beep of a heart monitor and the distant bustle of the hospital he was in. The journey to consciousness was like being dragged across asphalt and it hit him suddenly that he was all too aware of what that actually felt like, physically. There was no hyperbole with the notion. He'd experienced it before.

With a mind lingering on said experience, a brief panic settled over him, what if he was sixteen again, back in the hospital after that night, still terrified that they'd find him and finish what they started. But of course he wasn't. He took stock of his body quickly, too accustomed to being in and out of hospital to actually wonder as to why this time around he was actually there. He twisted his arms in his lap. Hands, rough and big, forearms and biceps, thick and muscled. He skimmed a hand across his torso, broad chest, abs... He was pretty sure he didn't have abs like that when he was sixteen. They weren't too shabby then either but by the state of them at twenty he was pretty smug.

He was still petting his abdomen when he heard the door creak open and in stepped Cooper and Kurt. Cooper winked and walked straight to the window. Kurt smiled at him bemusedly, and Blaine's brow furrowed slightly as he took in his raw left cheek and red rimmed eyes but before he had a chance to say anything Kurt sat down beside him, taking a hand away from his abdomen and holding it in his.

"What are you doing?" Kurt chuckled, kissing his knuckles and gazing up at Blaine with those breathtaking crystal blue eyes of his. "A-abs" Blaine stuttered, other hand still petting at them "I have abs. Great abs actually."

"That you do Blaine. Gorgeous abs" Kurt purred teasingly, barely suppressing his amusement as Blaine's eyes widened and a faint blush stained his cheeks.

"I forgot" Blaine said quietly, eyes dropping to the bedspread.

"You forgot you had abs?" Kurt questioned confusedly, still smiling and trying to catch Blaine's eye. "No- I. I forgot I wasn't sixteen anymore. I- I woke up and you weren't here," Blaine muttered, eyes watering "an- and I thought I was back home, after t-the Sadie Hawkin's dance."

Kurt's face fell, his grip on Blaine's hand tightening exponentially. "But I'm not" Blaine said determinedly. "I have abs!" He exclaimed causing Kurt to snort quite loudly "I'm twenty. I have art. I have the best big brother little B could ask for. I have the cutest niece. I have a boyfriend and he's the love of my life and the most beautiful man to ever exist and-"

"Woah okay!" Cooper twirled round from the window, wiping at his eyes conspicuously. "Hurray for positivity and all but-"

"He's sweet, sultry perfection!" Blaine called, interrupting and grinning cheekily. "An Adonis!" he yelled, ignoring his brother's protests and Kurt's scarlet blush "and a fucking God in bed" He sing songed as Cooper strode from the room, hands over his ears and singing obnoxiously loud.

"That was unnecessary."

"Au contraire I think it was perfectly necessary."

"To broadcast our sex life to every patient, visitor and staff member in the hospital?"

"Yep"

"Why, may I ask?"

"Because our sex life is fucking fantastic."

"Mmhmm but why in front of your brother?"

"Revenge"

"For what?"

"The scrambled egg incident."

.oO0Oo.

It didn't take long for Blaine to notice that Kurt's smile didn't reach his eyes. That he couldn't look Blaine in the eye for longer than a few seconds. That he'd flinch slightly when presented with even the gentlest of touches.

Kurt and Blaine were alone. Blaine propped up in bed listening to Kurt chatter away seemingly perfectly at ease except for the anxious flicker behind his eyes. Blaine could be oblivious at times but he wasn't stupid. Far from it. When it came to Kurt, Blaine knew in an instant when something was wrong.

Blaine didn't remember entirely how he'd ended up in hospital, he'd asked and been told that all would be revealed to him later. He didn't argue because that was Kurt and he trusted Kurt, trusted that he was safe, that he'd be fine. But Blaine couldn't remember. He knew something had happened at home but as for the details... Well there were none. There was only one explanation.

"What did I do?" He asked quietly, cutting Kurt off.

"I- what are you talking about?"

"What did I do, Kurt?"

"You didn't do-"

"Don't you dare," Blaine said, frustrated and trying to hold Kurt's gaze "don't you dare try and make excuses for me Kurt. What, did I do?"

Kurt stayed silent for a while, debating whether to tell Blaine or wait. Wait until when he didn't know exactly but Cooper had said to wait. Cooper argued that telling him too early would set him off, send him reeling back and that was something none of them could bare again. They both knew the knowledge of what he'd done, however unknowingly, would devastate him. But Kurt couldn't lie, not to Blaine, and he promised himself he would always be open with him, no secrets and nothing to hide.

"Please," Blaine whispered hoarsely, "just tell me what I did baby."

"You- you were sleeping and, I was worried so I wanted to wake you but you weren't waking up so I panicked and I-I sh-shook you and startled you but" Kurt paused drawing in a shaky breath and blinking back tears as images of Blaine terrified and scrambling to get away, to get away from him, burned in the back of his mind.

"You were awake but you weren't there and you-" The tears spilled over and all they ever seemed to be able to do consistently was cry "you were having a nightmare and you thought you were sixteen and back in high school. I was so scared Blaine, you were terrified and you-" He cut himself off, clutching Blaine's hand and refusing to look at him.

"You thought I was Jake."

The look of horror on Blaine's face was enough to shatter Kurt's heart for the hundredth time. As much as it left Kurt feeling sick to his stomach that he'd been mistaken for such a monster it hurt so much more to see that Blaine blamed himself for a mistake he had no control over. Blaine's grip on his hand was almost painful, the other covering his mouth, his eyes wide and shining with tears.

He reached out to brush gently against Kurt's reddened cheek. Kurt winced at the sting of it and Blaine's breath hitched, heart lurching into his throat as Kurt flinched and struggled not to turn away from his touch.

"How did-" Blaine choked out fearfully, body heavy with dread "How did it happen? How did you get hurt?" Kurt swallowed hard, unable to hold Blaine's distraught gaze for a moment longer.

"It was my fault." He uttered almost pleadingly "You were so scared you kept backing away and I panicked. I didn't know what to do, what you were going to do so I thought maybe if I stayed with you, you'd stay grounded but-"

"You kept flinching away and I wouldn't back off so you-" Kurt drew in a shuddering breath, refusing to look at him but still holding his hand tightly.

"I-I hit you" Blaine choked out, angry and stricken as it all came flooding back.

"You didn't know-"

"I HIT you."

"NO! You didn't-"

"But I did Kurt!" Blaine yelled, pulling his hands away from Kurt like he'd been burned "Oh God! I promised, I promised you'd be safe and I- I'm so so sorry oh God!"

"STOP IT! IT WAS MY FAULT BLAINE!"

"NO IT FUCKING WASN'T KURT"

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT IT WAS YOURS!"

Silence descended and only the sound of their ragged, hitching breaths and pounding heartbeats were there to break it. Kurt sat trembling, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he watched Blaine shake and sob with frightened eyes. They were a wreck. They were a warzone.

"I can't do this," Blaine muttered quietly, staring down at his hands "I can't."

"What?" Kurt stuttered "This is ridiculous Blaine please."

"I can't keep doing this to you. Making you stay and live in fear that I'll fall or relapse or fucking hurt you. I won't let you. You deserve so much more than this, so much more than me."

There was screaming and pleading, crying and frantic kisses, ‘I love you's' and promises but Blaine wouldn't change his mind. If any sign of their agony was known outside of that hospital room no one cared. Blaine knew Cooper was all but guarding them from just outside the door and not even he entered.

Blaine let Kurt yell and fight and kiss him senseless, drowning in his own need to pull him close, to never let him go. Kurt deserved more, so much better and brighter than anything Blaine would ever have to offer him. He wanted everything for him, a charming, handsome prince that could sweep him off his feet and shower him with all the love, affection and Armani a man like Kurt could ever desire. Someone who would never hurt him, keep him safe and let him shine. Someone who could love him better than Blaine could, and give Kurt the opportunity to do the same.

When Blaine stopped responding Kurt collapsed against him, tears still falling fast and hot before getting up and walking towards the door.

"I need you to understand" Blaine whispered, his face matching Kurt's; tear stained and cracked with anguish. Kurt turned, eyes a stormy grey, and nodded once before striding through the door.

"Ti amo, angelo mio. Addio Kurt."