Aug. 30, 2012, 3:53 p.m.
Masterpieces
Be My Muse: Chapter 15
E - Words: 1,614 - Last Updated: Aug 30, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: May 30, 2012 - Updated: Aug 30, 2012 2,151 0 3 0 0
Kurt didn't go with Zach that night; he just went home, to his own apartment, unable to face either of them. Kurt didn't sleep, sick to his stomach from what he knew he'd done, to Blaine of all people. He'd taken something he knew Blaine hated himself for and used it against him. Kurt spent hours pacing his apartment, striding to the door every now and again to just go and make sure Blaine was okay but for the most part he was still overcome by his own hurt and his own frustration. When morning hit the pull resonating in his chest that had been present since that first day finally overpowered everything and he was on the streets in a heartbeat, desperate to get to Blaine.
As soon as Kurt stepped foot in the apartment the next morning he knew, in that instant, that leaving was the worst mistake he had ever made. Blaine was huddled on the kitchen floor, conscious but lost, his golden eyes puffy and red raw. His arms lay lifeless at his sides, track marks and angry scratches visible on the pale skin of his forearms. A broken shoelace and some burnt aluminium foil were discarded on the kitchen island.
Kurt took a step toward Blaine but froze when he saw him flinch again. His hazel eyes looking straight at him, glazed and unfocussed.
"Please don't come any closer if you're going to leave for good this time." Blaine whispered, tugging the sleeves of his jumper down and trying to sit up a little straighter. The fallout was always hard to deal with. Disappointment and guilt that he gave in again, made even worse by the fact that Kurt had come back, it wasn't unwanted that's for sure Blaine wanted him to stay but it was certainly unexpected.
"I understand." Blaine muttered when Kurt didn't answer, closing his eyes and trying desperately to keep himself there, rather than aimlessly drifting. "I can see why you wouldn't want to be here" quiet so quiet it was barely audible "...with me"
"Blaine," Kurt started vehemently "I'm not leaving again, God it tore me apart- is tearing me apart seeing you hurt so much. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." With tears clouding his vision Kurt tentatively moved towards Blaine, sinking to the floor and holding him tightly as he trembled.
"I was going to tell you," Blaine mumbled as he burrowed into Kurt's arms "I was going to tell you everything eventually." Finally he felt safe. With Kurt nothing could truly hurt him. The relief was almost freeing until the panic set in, the desperation to make everything okay overwhelming and the hours stretched on filled with tears and whispered apologies, pleas of "don't go back to him" and "don't ever believe you're worthless". Promises of "I'll tell you about Zach, I'll tell you everything" or "I'll get better, I swear" and "I'm never saying goodbye to you".
As dusk settled Blaine was bordering on hysterical and Kurt could no longer console him on his own. He peppered kisses across his cheeks, his jaw, his forehead, his nose, his eyelids and finally his lips but Blaine only ever stilled long enough to feel each momentary brush of lips to his icy skin. Kurt rocked him gently in his arms to try and lull him into some semblance of serenity but it only made Blaine cling to him tighter. Terrified of losing Blaine again, Kurt realised he needed help, and from someone Blaine could trust.
.oO0Oo.
Cooper Anderson had been heartbroken three times in his life. The first was the moment he had discovered how his baby brother had been hospitalised, the second was when he found a goodbye note from his wife late one Sunday evening and the third was when he received a phone call from one Kurt Hummel, sobbing and scared out of his mind, desperately trying to calm his relapsed baby brother.
It was late and he had to beg his next door neighbour to babysit Arabella but he was on his way to Blaine's in a matter of minutes. Once he arrived he threw open the door and his heart stopped. Kurt was clutching a distraught Blaine in his arms, crying and holding on like both their lives depended on it. The moment Kurt saw Cooper he was pleading with him. "Please help me make it stop, please make it stop please" Kurt sobbed as Cooper strode towards them wrapping himself around them both and hoping that he could stop their worlds from falling apart. He tugged Blaine into his lap; cradling him to his chest like he'd done so many times before when Blaine was sixteen and begging him like a toddler to make mum and dad even just acknowledge what had happened, to make the nightmares stop, to keep the monsters at bay.
Cooper stroked Blaine's matted hair soothingly shushing him gently and Kurt kept hold of Blaine's hands, grounding him and whispering about how beautiful Blaine was, how brave, how strong. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning when Blaine began to settle, swaying slightly to a song Kurt started to hum under his breath. As his eye's started to slide shut Blaine whispered something only Cooper could hear before drifting off, completely and finally exhausted.
Blaine was surprisingly difficult to lift even with his small frame and obvious loss of weight but Kurt still carried him to his bed. Blaine nestled under the sheets and was still sleeping soundly by the time Kurt left, leaving the bedroom door wide open, just in case and joining Cooper.
.oO0Oo.
"I can see right through you." Cooper said abruptly, leaning on the kitchen island, now cleared of any paraphernalia. "It was clear as day since the moment I met you that you care about him, really care, but then you pulled that little stunt and something broke him again."
"I don't expect you to like me anymore Cooper," Kurt replied solemnly "you should both hate me."
"I don't hate you, and clearly neither does Blaine. In fact far from it. It's true he's been struggling with everything like he always has, but you made it bearable and unfortunately you made him love you in the process." Cooper smiled slightly at Kurt as he drew in a shaky breath, tears falling anew. "When he let it slip he was so scared."
"Wh- why? Why would he be scared?" Kurt stuttered in reply "I never wanted to hurt him believe me."
"Blaine's only ever loved one person besides yourself and it destroyed him. The bastard is the very reason my baby brother is the way he is now. It's that and Zach that did this not you."
Kurt paused trying to take everything in. No matter what Cooper said he knew he was still partly to blame. It was the whole reason Kurt never admitted how he felt in the first place; he didn't want to eventually add to Blaine's hurt, but denying it entirely devastated him. It broke Kurt to know that because Blaine loved him, he'd come so close to destroying him.
"Blaine wants me to tell you" Cooper said, interrupting Kurt's reverie "about Zach. He wants you to understand why he hates the thought of you with him, that he's not just jealous. He wants me to tell you so you'll believe him." Kurt noticed that Cooper was shaking slightly, so he nodded resigning himself to staying silent.
"When Blaine first came to New York it was to escape, High school and all that occurred back in Ohio, which he's waiting to tell you about himself, had changed him, and made him fragile and so much more vulnerable. He wanted a new start, a chance to rebuild himself so like any other college freshman he made friends and with those friends came the partying. Molly Baker managed to convince him to go with her to some underground party. I don't know how but Blaine ended up alone and that's when Zach turned up. He was young and drinking to drown everything out and he never stood a chance."
"What- What happened?" Kurt muttered desperately. Dreading Coopers next words. Cooper was crying, shaking as if simply telling the story caused him unimaginable pain. Blaine was his baby brother and Kurt's well, Kurt loved him and knowing that he'd been so tormented was unbearable.
"Zach kept handing him drinks and by the time he was pushed against an alley wall he was in no position to refuse. Blaine was naïve and confused and it wasn't long until they fell into a pattern, meeting every Friday and repeating the cycle until one day in the club's back room Zach introduced him to Evan."
"NO!" Kurt shouted "Evan is- and Zach!"
"Zach is what they call a lure, Kurt. He reeled Blaine in, got him hooked and took off, reaping countless rewards from Evan himself. Zach acts as Evan's scout of sorts, seeking out vulnerable and lost people that Evan can sell to. It just so happens that they thought Blaine to be the perfect customer."
"Oh my God" Kurt choked out "I can't believe I was so fucking stupid, so blind that-"
"Zach is good at his job Kurt. He needs to appear charming and respectable to get what he wants. But now I think you understand why Blaine was terrified when he realised Zach and Evan had set their sights on you. He can't stand having the people he loves even remotely close to his past in case something comes back and hurts them too."
Kurt and Cooper were still until Kurt moved to hug Cooper, thanking him for everything before moving towards the door.
"You can't leave again," Cooper whispered "he needs you."
"I need him to be safe. I need to see Zach."
Comments
It's certainly getting interesting! Why doesn't Kurt tell Blaine how he feels?
oh thats was good! Sad, but good. So glad that we are (finally) getting insight into Blaine's past! Can't wait for the next chapter!!!
Just found this story and I'm really enjoying it. Thank you for a great read.