Be My Muse
Mercury-Skies
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Be My Muse: Chapter 13


E - Words: 1,041 - Last Updated: Aug 30, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: May 30, 2012 - Updated: Aug 30, 2012
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Author's Notes: Warnings for languge, derogatory terms, allusions to sexual extortion and abuse.

Blaine is silent and stony when Kurt turns up at his apartment after a week's absence with little to no contact. He'd quietly asked if he could sketch Kurt's torso again, unable to help himself and Kurt complied with a bright smile, completely oblivious. He chattered on about how Zach might be stopping round to pick him up and that they were going to see some movie and honestly Blaine didn't give a shit. He was tired and his skin was prickling and he just couldn't seem to get a handle on himself.


His work was awful. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking long enough to draw a single smooth line. The more he tried the worse it got, until small tremors were racking his entire body. When his pencil slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor everything stopped.


Kurt was silent and his eyes were on Blaine in an instant, curious at first and then terrified. Blaine's head was hung low, fists gripping his sketchbook so tightly that his knuckles were white. He felt like he couldn't breathe, everything was blurry and he just couldn't stop shaking. He felt a hand hesitantly touch his shoulder and he flinched away, violently. Kurt was scrambling towards him, too fast and too loud leaving Blaine desperate to get away.


"Blaine? Blaine! What's wrong? Please tell me! I can-" Kurt was frantic.

"It's fine please don't-" Blaine managed to choke out.

"IT IS NOT FINE BLAINE. PLEASE, IT HURTS SEEING YOU LIKE THIS. JUST TELL ME!"

"NO. JUST STOP!" Blaine all but screamed, getting to his feet hastily and staring at Kurt on the brink of tears.


"Why are you even here anymore Kurt? It's not like you really care anyway."

"Blaine, that's not true I do. I-" Kurt was on his feet taking a step closer but Blaine just got further away.

"No YOU DON'T." Blaine's voice echoed around the dark apartment "You're too busy fucking gushing over Zach to realise what's right in front of you! Because Zach is perfect and he's wonderful and respectable and has his life in order and-"


"IT'S BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE YOU'RE JUST FUCKING JEALOUS BLAINE!" Kurt screamed.

"YEAH WELL MAYBE I FUCKING AM!"


He was so angry he couldn't see. He felt sick and everything was swimming in and out of focus from the onslaught of tears that just wouldn't stop. Kurt had pushed him over that edge, pushed much too far. And down Blaine fell.

"Blaine? Wha?"

"You don't want to be with me Kurt so why don't you just leave and go to Zach right now? Switch partners whatever."

"I don't want to switch partners."

"Oh yeah that's right I forgot." Blaine threw back sharply. "Wouldn't want to overstep would you? I forgot you hadn't even fucked yet, I feel sorry for the guy!"


Blaine snapped his mouth shut the second the words left it. He instantly regretted them. Desperately wanted to take them back, say he was sorry, and beg for forgiveness. But what's done is done and those words were heavy ammunition. An all out attack and everything was falling apart. Everything he'd built, every hope and promise just disappeared, destroyed by Kurt's next nine little words.


"Well at least I'm not some pretty boy slut!" Kurt hated himself for those words when Blaine just broke. A gut wrenching sob ripped itself from Blaine's throat but before he could even think about taking it all back, fixing it and gathering Blaine in his arms there was a knock at the door.


Blaine was there throwing the door open so harshly that the door bounced off the wall. His blood ran cold when he recognised who stood in his doorway.


"Anderson."

"No..." Blaine choked out shaking his head.

"Zach?" Kurt called from the living room, crying and hastily buttoning his shirt.

"No no no no NO" Blaine screeched.


"Hey babe" Zach called face impassive as he looked over at Kurt "you ready to go?"

"Yeah" Kurt sniffled. Blaine tried to reach out to Kurt as he tucked himself into Zach's side but Zach slapped his arm away. Kurt wouldn't even look him in the eye, tears still trickling down his cheeks. Blaine felt like he was nothing, discarded and desperate he fell collapsed and Kurt was tugging himself viciously out of Zach's hold and gathering Blaine up, trying to fix it, fix it, fix it.


Blaine's head snapped up when he felt Kurt's arms wrap around him, pleading hazel eyes staring intently into icy blue.

"Please," he begged "don't go with him he's-"

"He's not safe. I knew- I knew I knew him from somewhere, please."

"Please don't go. Don't leave..."


"What the hell d'you think you're doing!" Zach's voice booms as Blaine clutched at Kurt, anywhere and everywhere. "Kurt come here, NOW!" Kurt ran shaking hands through Blaine's hair sobbing ‘sorry, I'm so sorry' as he stood and left both Blaine and Zach alone, ignoring Zach and walking straight down the hall and to the stairway.


"I thought you would've learnt your lesson by now Blaine," Zach snarled "after all getting on your knees for Jake never did make him love you like you wanted him to did it? And now look at you, oh how history repeats itself. All that and you still got the shit kicked out of you. Pathetic. And trying to play the hero now by trying to keep dear little Kurtie away from it all? You always were greedy Blaine."


Zach stood looming over him and Blaine daren't look up. "You can't have him Blainers." He sneered, crouching down and trying to force Blaine to look at him "Evan's called dibs and you know what he's like. You're an old pro at his preferred method of payment. He'd like princess to be a patron too. He says hi by the way, Evan I mean. And by the looks of you I'll say he can expect a visit mighty soon huh pretty boy?"


Blaine was silent. Broken on his living room floor as Zach forced him to remember. Remember everything he'd spent so long forgetting and avoiding and trying to escape. Head hung low and trembling.


He never answers. Never speaks, even if it means more bruises to hide. He just stills, waiting for the next blow, the next touch, the next insult, all the while praying that he'll survive again or maybe, that this time, he won't.


Comments

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Thank you! All the squigly tummy feelings and I love how invested you are! It's very disorientating for me because as I've written I've been very affected by each chapter, if I'm not writing Be My Muse I'm thinking about it and I guess being so invested now makes what Blaine and Kurt are feeling seem a lot more real. The next chapter however broke me and I'm anxious to find out how everyone feels after 14.

My brain is still playing catch up..... Whaaaat. Tripping out. This is a crazily emotional chapter (come to think of it, all of your chapters are pretty emotional- how's your mental stability after writing this and the couple previous?) hmmmm so Zack is dick, he needs to go...and Blaine needs to be stronger, that's a bit of a tough call I know but he needs to pull it together for a little bit, and Kurt needs to OPEN his eyes...jeez Kurt makes me angry in all of these chapters (even though I know that Blaine is sending mixed signals). Stopping the babbling now, great writing - as usual. I can't wait for the next one :) good luck with your exams

Aww I'm sorry sweetie but things will get a little worse before they get better :(

I don't hate you, but please make it better :( poor Blaine

Don't fret my love I can understand your confusing. Blaine's issues mainly revolve around something that happened to him in Highschool. Tommy, Max and Jake (Jake, who Zach has mentioned in chapter 13) are yet to be accounted for. Also Zach's knowledge of Evan and his dealings. You're right in thinking Zach is trying to lure Kurt into something but I'm obviously not going to disclose what that is or what exactly Blaine's been through because I'm a sneaky author who want's you to figure it out :D Quite a bit is revealed in Chapter 14!

I'm still confused... I mean it could be because English isn't my native language, but yeah... I'm very confused. From what I gather Blaine was sexually assulted and he's taking some havy drugs, and now Zach and co. are trying to pull Kurt into it or rape him or something. Right?

oh my god seriously what is going on!

Don't hate you - not even quite sure what happened in this chapter???? I'm lost :(