Be My Muse
Mercury-Skies
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Be My Muse: Chapter 10


E - Words: 1,180 - Last Updated: Aug 30, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: May 30, 2012 - Updated: Aug 30, 2012
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Class was uneventful for Kurt, and left him with nothing to report back to Blaine. He spent the two hour lecture with thoughts of him and the night prior, drawing wide golden eyes and broad, rough hands. Blaine's rapidly fluctuating behaviour left Kurt's head spinning. He was frustrated and confused, and agonised over every word and gesture.


Everything was so difficult when Kurt had to analyse every encounter they had in case he missed something important. Kurt cared about Blaine, even though Blaine didn't seem to think so. Blaine didn't seem to think anyone cared. Kurt worried, and he panicked. Was Blaine getting enough to eat? Had he slept last night? Is he safe, does he have enough money for the rent? He looks weak, is he ill?


Kurt just wanted to be able to do something. Be closer to Blaine, prop him up when the weight of everything became too much, but every time he came close he was stopped in his tracks. Expressive eyes became cold and void. Warm smiles and light touches dissipated into nothingness. And then came the distractions, the lewd comments and the heated gaze and the cocky smirk. Sure, the teasing and the playfulness was all Blaine but the rest was about as transparent as the glass panes in his apartment. Kurt could see right through him.


It was clear to Kurt that Blaine's persona was merely a diversion. Something to occupy and irk Kurt while he tried to hide what was really going on, something he felt a lot less comfortable sharing with anyone. The crude behaviour was his go to stance when he was expected to actually function close to effectively.


Kurt thought back to the day they'd met, how timid Blaine was and the beautiful drawing of the wolf pack and the lone wolf. The lone wolf. Kurt spent the remainder of his time in class finally sketching with purpose.


.oO0Oo.


By the time class had finished Kurt's stomach had twisted itself into knots and he didn't even notice being approached by someone previously in the third row down.


"Hey Kurt!" came a cheery voice from his left. Kurt snapped his head up to lock eyes on a boy he'd liked for a while, at least since before Blaine had claimed all of his attention. His name was Zach. He had short auburn hair and vivid blue, almost grey eyes. Kurt had developed some what of a small crush when they had been paired for an in class project during the previous semester and had remained distant friends ever since.


"H-hey Zach!" Kurt stuttered.

"So how's the project going?" Zach asked, taking a seat close at Kurt's side.

"Good. Blaine's crazily talented so-"

"Blaine? Blaine Anderson?"

"Yeah?"


Kurt looked at Zach with irritation. Anything he had to say about Blaine had been said before, either by the gossip mongers in class or self deprecatingly by Blaine himself. They didn't even know half of what it must be like to live the way Blaine did; to live with what Blaine lived with.


"Be careful around Blaine. Yeah he's charming but I hear he's into some pretty heavy shit."

"I'll be careful." Kurt said sharply. Why was Zach even telling him this?

"I'm just saying because I've kinda been wanting to charm you myself." Zach added with a sultry smile.

"I- What?" Kurt stammered as Zach looked back at him sheepishly.

"I was err wondering if maybe you'd like to go out sometime, like on a date?"

"Oh"


.oO0Oo.


Monday evening and Blaine was sprawled out on his stomach across his living room floor, eye lids drooping as his pencil dragged clumsily across the page in front of him. Kurt hadn't called or text so he assumed he hadn't missed anything important. Blaine considered calling Kurt at least every few hours, but he had no reason to other than just to hear his voice.


Over the weekend Blaine found himself thinking more and more about what Kurt's life was like. Does he go out to coffee with Rachel in the mornings? Does he have lazy days in bed watching mindless daytime television? Do his friends compliment him on his outfit choices daily? Does he call his family often? Does he have a boyfriend? He knew it was ridiculous to be so curious, but he wanted to know everything there was to know about Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, artiste and fashionista extraordinaire. A selfish want it seemed to him, seeing as he was willing to divulge so little about his own life in return.


So he was comfortable and at ease, in his half asleep state, revelling in the little things he did know. The shifting colours of his eyes and the way they crinkled at the corners when he smiled. His smile, bright and broad and almost blinding. And when he scrunched up his nose in distaste or when he laughed. Each aspect and facet of him made that itch and the burning in his veins a little easier to bare and withhold.


He scratched lazily at the paper outlining feather upon feather until he heard his phone ringing from the bedroom. Hauling himself up, he trailed out of the living room to answer the call, assuming it was probably just Cooper calling to check in or ask him to watch Arabella for a little while during the week. He flopped down onto the bed.


"Hello?" Blaine muttered wearily as he pressed accept and bought the phone to his ear.

"Hey," a melodic voice answered "it's Kurt."

"Hey Kurt." Blaine sighed softly "What's up?"

"You sound tired." Replied Kurt sympathetically, noticing the low rumbling lilt of Blaine's speech and his slow even breaths.

"‘m a bit."

"Then I should let you rest, you need it, I'll call you tomorrow." He said shakily.

"No!" Came Blaine's quick reply "I mean, it's fine. What can I do for you?" There was a long pause before Kurt took a deep breath and continued.


"I was calling about Thursday actually..."

"Yeah?"

"I have a date!" Kurt let out in a rush, breath whooshing out of him. Blaine inhaled sharply and hesitated "That's okay right? I'm sorry I'm missing our forth-" Blaine's voice was quiet when he interrupted.

"Kurt of course it's fine" Blaine cursed himself for his small hitch in breath.

"I- okay I just thought-because-"


"Kurt, Kurt," Blaine interrupted again after he'd managed to get his voice under control, trying for a teasing tone "just tell me. Who's the lucky guy?"

"Zach? From class?"

"Zach huh? Rings a bell. Is he hot?"

"BLAAINE!"

"Well is he? Because if he is you should totally get on that."

"Ugh you're unbelievable."

"He is, isn't he? I bet he is smokin'."

"smokin'? I hate you."

"No you don't. GET SOME HUMMEL!"

"I'M HANGING UP NOW"

"GET IT!"

"BYE!"


The line went dead and Blaine let his phone drop to the floor before sinking exhausted into his mattress. With one of his questions answered everything Blaine had noticed lost its soothing affect like the regaining of feeling after being under an anaesthetic. He was disappointed and devastated that those eyes and that smile and that laugh were no longer going to be meant for him in the slightest. They were meant for Zach or someone probably equally as handsome and debonair or whatever. Kurt would never be meant for Blaine.


Comments

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Really? Why would Kurt go out with Zach? WHY? I'm kinda upset with Kurt right now....Blaine NEEDS HIM!

Remember Kurt still doesn't know to what extent Blaine needs him. Kurt's gotta look out for his own life as well as supporting Blaine. Blaine is fragile yes but also confusing and Kurt never knows where they stand. I'm sorry, Kurt has his reasons, he's had a crush for a while! But is Zach as sweet as he seems?

ALL THE SQUIGGLY TUMMY FEELINGS! That is so so wonderful of you, that's one hell of a compliment. Thank you! xx

ugh so many feelings for Blaine right now. awwww. Stupid, stupid, stupid Kurt... Really, a date? Seriously? And calling Blaine about it... Damn you kurt. You have captured Blaine's pain and despair so accurately, i can feel it just by reading it- its quite beautiful really. I am really enjoying your story, your perception of human emotion is ingenious. Thanks again for the great writing. xx (i hope you get more squiggly tummy feelings, you deserve them)

You are allowed to bring Zach in cause every good story needs a character to challenge its main ones.It's necessary for good plot development and this is a GOOD story. I think I like the idea of Zach better than Bad news Evan. I think Blaine's response is only going to confuse Kurt more. Thus their dance of emotions continues keeping us readers on our toes. Good thing you update frequently which makes my tummy go all squiggly.

You are allowed to bring Zach in cause every good story needs a character to challenge its main ones.It's necessary for good plot development and this is a GOOD story. I think I like the idea of Zach better than Bad news Evan. I think Blaine's response is only going to confuse Kurt more. Thus their dance of emotions continues keeping us readers on our toes. Good thing you update frequently which makes my tummy go all squiggly.

Eep! Angsty!Blaine is my fave, so I'm happy with your newest chapter! But! I really look forward to the next installment!! (:

oh mY GOD! this fic seriously it's just UGH. i love it xD

Poor Blaine! I'm excited to see what happens with Zach though and how it effects Blaine!

I'm loving this story!!!& you update so quickly I love it!

GAH! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WHO THE HELL IS ZACH???:D