“I screwed everything up and I don’t think I can fix it. I don’t even know why I said that to him. I know what he’s been through and I’m… I’m just so selfish sometimes!” Blaine ranted as he threw his arms up in defeat before he lowered his gaze back to the notebook. Mike looked at him curiously.

“You’re going to have to start over man, I have no idea what, or who, you’re talking about.” Mike replied. Blaine sighed before looking up at Mike.

“It’s Kurt,” Blaine said, and he was surprised to see something like recognition in Mike’s face. “I… he kissed me and it was great, I mean, I’ve only been in love with him since I was six, but then I had to go and say I wouldn’t be a part of a secret relationship and just… I’m so sick of everything!” He said, his anger and despair clear in his voice.

“Ok, so you’re in love with Kurt Hummel and he likes you too, at least enough to kiss you. He doesn’t want to make your relationship public, but you do. What exactly did you say to him?” Mike asked as he took the seat across from Blaine and tried to gain a grasp on the situation.

“I accused him of being ashamed of me, but I know he’s not. I know he’s just scared, but I was already upset because of Karofsky and now everything is ruined!” Blaine said as he laid his head on the desk, his unruly curls splayed out over the pages of the notebook.

“Honestly, I understand why you’re upset about hiding the relationship, but Kurt’s been through a lot, I don’t think he wants to hide it because he’s ashamed of you. You just have to decide if the whole mess is worth it.” Mike said with an even tone.

Blaine looked up then, meeting Mike’s gaze. Something seemed to click in his head at that moment. “Kurt is definitely worth it.” Blaine said with conviction before standing to gather his things. “I have to go find him, thanks for the talk Mike!”

“Anytime, now go get your guy!” Mike said with a laugh, waving as Blaine left the library in a flurry of paper and curls.

Rachel stepped out of the shadows and watched as her brother left the library. She had overheard Mike and Blaine’s conversation as she waited in the stacks for Jacob Ben Israel.

So it was true, she thought, Blaine and Kurt. She couldn’t help but smile to herself at the idea.

“So Rachel, are you here to finally confess your love to me?” Jacob Ben Israel said as he walked up next to her, purposefully invading her space.

Rachel peered at him from over her dark glasses. She had a black scarf wrapped securely around her head. She couldn’t risk the chance of being recognized, and, ever the dramatic one, had dressed for the occasion. “I do not, and will never, love you.” She said with a sneer. “I need to know what you know about Dave Karofsky in regards to Kurt Hummel.”

“I’ll tell you for a kiss.” Jacob said before closing his eyes and puckering his lips. Rachel promptly shoved a book in his face.

“Absolutely not! This is important, so I’d appreciate your cooperation.”

“What’s in it for me?” Jacob said, though he was visibly ruffled by their interaction.

“The knowledge that for once you actually did something nice for someone, and my gratitude.” Rachel said impatiently, laying her hand on her hip.

“That’s not good enough baby cakes,” Rachel glared at the use of the nickname. “That kind of information comes at a price.” Jacob said.

Rachel balked. “What do you want Jacob!” she practically growled.

“I already told you, a kiss. A simple kiss and you’ll never have to tell anyone.” Jacob said with a grin, his pale face lighting up.

Rachel sighed, “one kiss, five seconds tops, and it doesn’t leave the library.” She said.

“Ten seconds with tongue.” Jacob countered and Rachel shuddered, turning a little bit green.

“Three seconds, no tongue, and the offer is coming to a close so you better take it or leave it.” She said with regret.

Jacob was already setting the timer on his phone. “Ok five seconds,” he said and Rachel checked the timer to make sure it wasn’t set for longer.

Jacob licked his lips and formed a pucker before he closed his eyes and leaned forward. Rachel closed her lips tightly. “Now,” she said and she heard the timer start.

Rachel jumped back, spitting and wiping her mouth as soon as the timer went off. “I said no tongue Jacob!” She yelled.

Jacob smiled at her with a dreamy look in his eyes. “I got what I wanted; now you get what you want.” Jacob said. “Now, what exactly did you need to know about Dave Karofsky?”

“Something happened last year, something big between Dave and Kurt, and I know you know. I also know the jocks have ways of keeping things quiet around here. I need to know what it was that made Kurt decide that he wasn’t safe in the glee club.” Rachel said as she glared at Jacob pointedly.

Jacob turned white, a feat in its own right, as he recalled the memory, his expression suddenly serious. “I don’t know the details exactly, just what I saw, which was an angry Karofsky fleeing the locker room and an obviously shaken Kurt leaving ten minutes later. They had been alone.” Jacob said. “There was a half hearted rumor going around last year that Kurt had kissed him, but Karofsky and Azimio quickly shut up anybody who was spreading it. Whatever went down in that locker room, it was bad.” Jacob said.

Rachel gasped as she brought her hand to her mouth, her mind immediately at work. Kurt would never kiss Karofsky, but that doesn’t mean Karofsky didn’t kiss Kurt no matter how far-fetched that might be. Plus, there had been a few clues to suggest Karofsky played for the other team, his apparent hatred for Kurt and her brother being the biggest one. This could be much worse than she had thought.

“I have to go,” she said as she slid her glasses back up her nose and made her way to the door.” Remember Jacob, I won’t say anything if you don’t!” She exclaimed as she slipped out of the library.

She was one step closer to getting Kurt to rejoin the glee club, and one step closer to seeing her best friend smile again.

~

Kurt sighed as he laid his heavy head in his arms. He couldn’t even bring himself to care about the equations that Mr. Hamilton was scrawling across the board.

He had messed up, big time.

His mind swam with all the possible ways of making this up to Blaine. They were few and far between and most of them involved publicly humiliating himself, not to mention outing Blaine. Although, the whole point of the fight was Kurt’s hesitancy to make their relationship public. He knew that whatever he did, it was going to have to be huge, and he was going to have to make an ass out of himself.

The thing was that he understood where Blaine was coming from. Kurt was sick of lying; he just wanted to be himself, even if that meant he’d have to put up with aggressive assaults brought on by his tormentors. Blaine loved and wanted Kurt, and Kurt had ruined everything.

Somebody had finally noticed him, finally loved him, and he’d thrown it back in their face because he was a coward.

Kurt Hummel was tired of being scared. He had long ago succumbed to his dull life, just trying to get from one day to the next. Happiness, he’d thought, would come later, with New York and Broadway. He knew, or he thought he did at least, that he could never be truly happy in this small minded town. Blaine made him happy though. Kurt couldn’t fathom why he’d given up his chance. It would be hard, yes, but with Blaine by his side it would be worth it.

Lifting his head from the safety of his arms, Kurt realized what he had to do. He was ready to shed his protective shell for Blaine Anderson. He just wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was going to have to have with Sue Sylvester.