Chapter 5:

"What did you do to him, Blaine?"

Blaine turned his head in the direction of the voice, only to be rewarded with the faces of his friends staring at him with annoyed expressions.

"What makes you think I did anything to him?" Blaine snapped, a little harsher than he intended.

"Well, first of all, this isn't the first time we see the aftermath of your actions. Remember Jack? You told him you liked him just for the sake of getting him into your bed. When you ignored his existence the next day, you pretty much broke his heart. And that's aside from the dozen other boys you did the same thing with." David supplied thoughtfully. He continued, "Second of all, you have 'guilty' written all over your forehead whenever you look at Kurt. Which seems to be all the time."

Blaine was staring down at the table, willing himself not to get angry. It was his fault afterall.

Wes added, "We warned you not to bother Kurt, B. He's obviously more sensitive than any of us were when we first started here."

This time, Thad who had been watching the exchange in silence, jumped into the conversation, "Something tells me you care about him."

Blaine's head snapped up fast enough for his neck to crack. He laughed nervously, trying to sound confident, but his voice wavered. "Don't be ridiculous."

The three boys exchanged looks.

David put his arm on Blaine's shoulder gently. "Listen B… we know the thing with Scott-"

"Don't." He interrupted quietly, shrugging off David's hand. "I don't care about Kurt like that, okay? Get it into your thick skulls." He spit out. The three boys sighed heavily and stood up.

"Where are you three going?" The curly haired boy asked, regretting his harsh tone when he knew his friends only meant well.

"We're going to hang out with Kurt, Nick and Jeff in their room."

"Oh." Blaine looked down at his hands.

"You could always apologize, Blaine." Wes suggested gently. The boys remembered how Blaine was after the Scott incident, and they hated to see their friend like this. To everyone else, Blaine was a tough badass. But to his friends, he was still the same small vulnerable boy they met years ago.

Blaine faked a smile, not caring if his friends could see right through it. "Nah, I'm good. I'm going to go take a walk." He got up and left before any of them could say anything else.

No one saw the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

Nick, Jeff and Kurt were sitting on Jeff's bed watching She's The Man on Nick's laptop. It had taken at least 20 minutes for them to decide on a movie. Jeff and Nick kept bickering and arguing about whether they should watch She's The Man, or Austin Powers. She's The Man being Nick's favorite movie because of Amanda Bynes, and Austin Powers being Jeff's. Kurt watched the exchange in silent amusement. They look cute together. In the end, they both turned to him expectantly, asking him to choose between both movies. Kurt chose She's The Man, claiming he couldn't stand the way Austin Powers dressed, earning a chuckle from both boys. Just as the movie was about ten minutes through, there was a knock on the door. Jeff got up to open the it, revealing David, Wes and Thad.

"Hey, Kurt!" Wes greeted in a friendly tone.

Kurt simply smiled and nodded as a response.

Wes, seeming oblivious to Kurt's lack of vocal response, plopped down on the bed next to him. It took almost all of Kurt's self control not to visibly flinch at the sudden close contact.

"Oh, I love this movie. Amanda Bynes is hot as a fuck." David commented from where he took a seat on top of Nick's laying body, ignoring Nick's squirming and protests.

"You bastard, I can't breathe!" Nick gasped as David made himself more comfortable.

"Yes, you can. Now shut up, the part where she transforms into a guy is my favorite part." David replied coolly.

"David, so help me I will-"

David shoved a balled t-shirt that was on the bed into his rambling mouth, effectively shutting him up. Everyone laughed at David's calmness and Nick's struggling. Even Kurt couldn't hold the laugh bubbling in his chest. Everyone looked at Kurt when they heard him laugh. He stopped laughing and looked down quickly, shyly. The boys exchanged a look, all seeming to have the same relieved expression that Kurt was finally opening up.

"You know, Kurt, you have a really nice laugh."

Kurt looked up, seeing everyone's intense gazes on him and blushed a deep red. Thad cleared his throat and motioned to the movie. "I don't know why she feels the need to cover up her boobs in those bandage thingies, they're basically non-existent."

"Hey! Don't insult Amanda Bynes! She's perfect in every way, okay?" Nick retorted defensively after finally spitting out the t-shirt from his mouth. They laughed at his defensive tone, David turning to Kurt and adding, "Nick has the biggest obsession with her. If you want proof, go ahead and open his closet. He has a bunch of pictures of her hung around on the inside."

"She's really pretty, okay?" Nick huffed, still struggling under David's weight.

Jeff suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh my god, do you guys remember when he got really drunk and high and thought Thad with a blonde wig on was her?" Everyone burst into laughter, ignoring the movie.

"Are you serious?" Kurt asked between giggles, looking at Nick who was glaring at everyone.

"Yeah! He tried to make out with me and made grabby hands to my non-existing boobs!" Thad exclaimed between fits of laughter, doubling over the desk chair he was sitting on. Nick saw Jeff grabbing the camera off the desk and suddenly lunged after him, making David topple backwards. "Don't you dare show Kurt the video!"

Jeff threw the camera at David who barely caught it, avoiding Nick's protests.

"Please let me see it, Nick!" Kurt begged between occasional giggles.

Nick sighed, "Fine, but only because I like you, Kurt, and I know you won't make fun of me." He said confidently.

Jeff gave Kurt a dubious look. "I doubt anyone who watches that video wouldn't make fun of you."

Kurt chuckled and scooted closer to David, who was looking through the camera gallery for the video.

"Aha! Alright, Kurt. Are you ready to see the funniest video in history?"

Kurt nodded, smiling. He took the camera from David and pressed play. The video started off with Jeff yelling into the camera, belting what seemed to be 'I like big butts and I cannot lie!' Kurt couldn't suppress a smile. Then the camera turned onto Nick who was dancing with himself in the middle of what seemed to be a lounge. He could see Thad putting on a blonde wig drunkenly, and suddenly Nick exclaimed 'Amanda!' and ran towards Thad who was too drunk to even realize the dark haired boy that was about to tackle him to the ground. Nick landed effectively over Thad, straddling him once he sat up. He started petting Thad's wig affectionately, whispering things like 'Amanda, baby, I knew you would come find me.' At this point, Kurt was shaking with laughter. The video continued, showing Nick grabbing at Thad's chest, seemingly looking for boobs. Then Nick suddenly lunged at Thad's face with his lips puckered. Everyone else in the room was laughing so hard, a boy in the back that looked like Blaine toppled back and fell from laughter. Kurt tried to avoid the fluttering in his chest when he saw Blaine laughing in the video. He saw a boy with light brown hair going over to Blaine and helping him up before wrapping him in his arms affectionately, kissing his forehead. He tried to shake the sudden feeling of jealousy from his person who was filming was laughing so hard he ended up dropping the camera to continue his fits of laughter, and then the video ended. Kurt's laughs were a bit more strangled now, but thankfully no one noticed. He couldn't get the image of that boy kissing Blaine on his head, staring at him like he was the only human on the planet.

"Oh sure, everyone, laugh it out, laugh it out." Nick huffed, trying to sound annoyed, but the smirk playing at his lips told everyone otherwise. Everyone laughed even louder.

No one bothered to notice the shadow of someone's feet through the crack under the door.

Blaine didn't know why he cared so much. But whenever he looked at Kurt, it would remind him of Scott, except, Kurt was still different. Unique. It was like something was pulling him towards the chestnut haired boy. So he decided he would go apologize to Kurt. Once Blaine stood in front of Jeff and Nick's door, he took a deep breath and reached his hand out to knock, but stopped short when he heard loud laughter from the room. He could also hear an unfamiliar laugh, which he guessed was Kurts. His heart clenched tightly and he retracted his hand quickly as if the door would burn him if he touched it.

He probably forgot about your existence. They probably all forgot about your existence.

Blaine turned around quickly and walked back to his room, tears he hadn't even realized were there sliding down his cheeks. As soon as he was inside, he bent and reached for something underneath his bed. He grabbed the he pulled out bag and left the room once again. He practically ran to his secret spot. The spot he and Scott used to sit in to avoid people from finding them. Where they would feel like the only two people alive. It was their own little world.

He sat down and flipped the bag over, spilling the contents onto the floor. There was a photo album, a little Ziploc bag with white powder residue, another Ziploc bag with colorful pills, a few packets of cigarettes, and a slightly bigger Ziploc bag with a needle, a silver spoon, tin foil, and a few alcohol swabs. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes, pulled a lighter out of his back pocket, and pulled out a cigarette with his lips expertly. He lit it and picked up the photo album. He smiled fondly at the first photo. It was a picture of him and Scott doubled over from laughter, with Scott resting his arms across Blaine's back for support. The second picture was of him, Scott, and his other 5 friends all squished together on Blaine's bed, all of them with their mouths open from what he guess was speaking during the picture and frowns on their faces, as some of them pointed to the camera. He suppressed a giggle when he remembered that he had accidentally put it on video instead of setting the timer on the camera for a picture. The third picture was of him and Scott staring affectionately at one another on the grass outside on the field with Wes and David's eyes rolled mid-way in the backround from where they were sitting ignored by the two lovers. His fingers traced the contours of Scott's face, trying to remember the feeling of his skin beneath his fingers. His vision was suddenly blurry and only until he wiped his eyes did he realize that there were tears pooling there. He flicked the cigarette butt onto the floor and stepped on it, putting out the flame, and picked up the Ziploc that carried the colorful pills. He pulled one out, twirling it between his fingers as he thought. His eyes darted between the pill and the needle. He put the pill back and took the needle and the rest of the contents out of the bigger Ziploc bag to prepare a fix. Once he was done, he pulled his sleeve back and clenched his fist, wrapping a Latex tourniquet around his arm. Finally, he picked up the needle and tapped it a few times before he brought it down to his skin and injected the needle without a second thought. Once he was done, he dropped the needle onto the floor and relaxed and shut his eyes.

Once everyone calmed down from their high, Kurt dared to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind. "Who was the guy that hugged Blaine in the video?" He blurted.

The air suddenly filled with silent tension and the five boys exchanged sad looks. Finally, David answered his question. "That was Blaine's boyfriend."

"Oh." Kurt whispered, looking down at his lap.

Nick sighed and sat next to Kurt. "Kurt, listen… Blaine isn't exactly the tough guy he seems to be. He's been through more than most of us combined. And Scott… Well, Scott used to be everything." He said sadly.

Kurt looked up at everyone's solemn expressions. "Was? What happened?"

"I wish we could tell you, but it's not our place. Blaine has to tell you himself." Jeff supplied quietly.

Wes added, "Word of advice, though, Kurt, don't bring it up randomly. It's an extremely sensitive topic, and if you bring it up carelessly, there's no telling what Blaine would do."

Kurt nodded and continued to stare down at his lap, deep in thought. Why were they using the past tense when they talked about Scott? He couldn't be dead, could he? And what did Wes mean when he said there was no telling what Blaine would do if I brought up the subject of Scott out of the blue?

Thad cleared his throat, interrupting the silence in the room. "Well then, I think I'm going back to my dorm room now. It's almost past curfew."

Everyone muttered their agreement and got up, including Kurt. They exchanged awkward smiles and each returned to their respective dorms.

Blaine woke up with a start to the sound of his phone ringing in his ear. He blinked his eyes a few times to adjust them. He grabbed his phone to answer the call when his eyes saw what time it was, and he freaked. Fuck. He gathered all the stuff on the floor and shoved them into the bag, avoiding his phone that had started a second round of ringing when he didn't answer the first time. He picked it up once he was done putting his things away and answered breathlessly, not bothering to look at the number calling. "Hello?"

"B, where the fuck are you? Kurt just told us you still didn't return to the dorm! It's 4 hours past curfew! Are you fucking insane? If the guards patrolling around catch you-"

"Would you shut the fuck up? I fell asleep! Fuck. I'm on my way back. Is the coast clear?" He whispered harshly.

"Yeah, I told Kurt to leave your room door a little open so you wouldn't have to use your key and get caught."

"Alright, thanks for waking me up, man. I'm rounding the corner so I'm going to shut the phone so I don't get caught." He pressed the end call before waiting for a response and dashed into the room as fast as he can, barely avoiding the guards that were facing the other way, talking to each other. As soon as he was inside the room he shut the door and collapsed onto the floor breathlessly. Now was one of those times he hated that his spot was so far away from his room.

"Blaine?"

Blaine's head snapped up when he heard the quiet, beautiful voice. His breath hitched when he caught site of Kurt, sitting up in his bed with a concerned expression. Why does he have to be so beautiful?

Blaine ignored him and simply got up and walked to the bed before bending down to stuff the bag under it, avoiding Kurt's eyes that burning into the back of his head. He flopped down onto his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Why's there dried blood on your arm?" Kurt asked quietly, as if afraid that if he raised his voice it would disturb the resounding silence and shatter something.

Blaine looked down at his arm and mentally cursed himself for not cleaning it up or pulling down his sleeve.

"It's nothing. I hurt myself running back here."

"That seems quite unlikely. I can see the tourniquet dangling under your sleeve."

Blaine mentally scolded himself for not cleaning up properly. He grabbed the tourniquet and threw it under his bed. "What's it to you, anwyay? I thought you were ignoring my existence. You were doing a great job, why ruin it now?" He bit out angrily.

Kurt visibly recoiled from the sound of his voice, but then after a moment of silence suddenly got up from his place on the bed and crossed the room.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked in a panicked voice, seeing Kurt approaching him and sitting on the bed beside him.

The chestnut haired boy spoke in a hushed, gentle tone, his eyes downcast. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you do it?" Finally, his eyes met Blaine's suddenly irritated ones.

"It's none of your business."

"It is if you're hurting yourself like that." Kurt replied gently.

Blaine tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice was shaky. "No, it's not. And I'm not hurting myself, so you can quit the act and go back to your bed and continue to ignore me like before." I don't want you to ignore me.

Kurt ignored him and continued, "You can always talk to me, you know. Maybe it'll help."

Blaine laughed humorlessly. "I don't need or want your help, so please go back to your bed" Please stay. Please help me.

Kurt sighed and got up. "You don't have to act tough, Blaine. We all have our inner demons. It doesn't make you weak if you ask for help." He whispered gently before making his way back under the covers of his own bed, turning his back to Blaine. The curly haired boy stared after him, stared at the back facing him, suddenly feeling cold and alone.

You are alone.