Not only were they going off to New York City and start a pretty much new life there, but they were to have their own apartment –in a relatively nice neighborhood- with their own new jobs and everything –Kurt had resolved that even if he hadn't gotten into NYADA he could always audition next semester and still be in New York with his friend while waiting. It didn't sound horrible, exactly.

That was, until they saw online pictures of the place. The department was by far, way smaller than Kurt had thought –or than Rachel had described-, the street looked like a set for a Jack the Ripper's movie, not to mention that now Rachel was also breaking more new to him; "Well, Finn can always sleep with me in the bedroom."

Kurt fixed his gaze on her face.

"What?" he spat out. He saw Rachel purse her lips in embarrassment and swallow with guilt, lifting her chin ever so slightly.

"It's just that Finn has finally decided to come with us to New York," she said, never looking at Kurt. "He thinks, and I agree, that is the right place for him to find, you know..." she turned to stare deep into his friend's eyes, her wide and big with plea. "His dreams. Next to me."

Kurt had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at her. He licked his lips as he looked away, summoning all his patience not to give his friend the biggest bitch-face he would ever achieve in his life. He understand all of Rachel's obsession with Finn and dreams and being with her soul mate and whatever godthatwassoboring- but it getting in the way of their plans was something he was just not about to let slide easily.

"Rachel, we barely fit in that apartment just the two of us," he placed a hand on the back of the chair she was sitting in, standing to her side. "How do you expect Finn, who is already too much a big of a human, to fit in there too? Because let me tell you, your love isn't going to make the apartment bigger. Nor comfortable for me to be in, for that matter," he muttered the last sentence.

Rachel had rambled on and on about how it didn't matter and that they'd be happy together nonetheless, the three of them, and how they would still be living in New York by themselves.

It still sounded tempting, of course, and wonderful, and thrilling, exciting and scary as hell, but still... Kurt loved Rachel and he loved his half brother to death, but there was something that bothered him and made him fidget about the whole situation, he wasn't quite okay with it. And he had the feeling, knowing himself like he did, that he wouldn't be anytime soon.

Which was what he was thinking about when he approached the counter after a slow advancing line.

"The usual, Kurt?" the blond guy said, ready to start touching things and buttons in the register.

"Yeah," he sighed heavily. His coffee shop friend raised his eyebrows.

"Bad day?"

"You know when you are totally happy with where things are going and you already have it all figured out but then your annoying, loud friend goes and changes everything with something you can't even feel bad about because that would just make you a really bad, selfish person?" he laid out monotonously, eyes fixed on the wall behind him.

"Huh..." he chuckled as he doubted. "Not really, not."

"Well, then I hope it never happens to you," he smiled tightly. He really hated feeling like a whimsical, little spoiled brat. It wasn't like it was Finn's fault, but... it's just that everything was already planned to perfection and it sounded delightful and, ugh, last minute changes sucked. He moved to the right, waiting for Jeff to return him his credit card with a small "thanks," when he did.

"But you're still leaving for New York, how bad can it be, right?" he asked.

"I guess," Kurt shrugged ruefully. But still...

"I have a friend who is also moving there in like... two weeks," he said as he moved away from the empty counter and started preparing his brewage. "He's lucky enough to have no money issues and to have found a nice, decent apartment somewhere in Brooklyn Heights," he said as he focused on the machines in front of him.

"Whoa, that sounds nice," Kurt lifted an eyebrow. "I'm leaving in four weeks," he replied. Despite the new adjustments in their future, his stomach couldn't help but to clench and swoop at the thought of living in New York. A step closer to his dreams and everything they involved and implied.

"You must be so excited," Jeff smiled one last time at him and handed him his drink before another one tugged at the corner of Kurt's lip and he left the coffee shop.

The dilemma grew more and more as weeks passed because, hey, this was still not cool with Kurt, nothing had changed or been figured out and he was feeling more and more like an ass as days went by.

He barely talked to his father about it, because he knew he was unreasonably, overreacting mad at the whole situation and the guilt was nothing but a weight that settled uncomfortably on his chest.

"Kurt, the only thing I can suggest you to do is to come up with a solution before you get there and snap at them or implode or something," he shrugged quietly. "We both know you're not exactly a... an easy person, especially if this is something that's bugging you so much."

Kurt knew his father was right, but what was that solution?

----------

He had stayed up until late on the internet and rolling around on his bed, racking his brain. So it was only natural he went for a cup of coffee before meeting Mercedes.

Also, he pretty much fucking loved coffee. And it was always a good way for him to relax.

"Same as always," he said as he leaned against the counter, extending his credit card.

"Dude, don't you ever get tired of coffee?" Jeff asked, shaking his head. Kurt looked at him with wide eyes.

"Don't you, like, work here?" Kurt shot back, looking around at the coffee shop.

"Exactly," he glared at him. Kurt chuckled a little bit.

"Can't be that bad," he said, breathing in the scent of the coffee and the calm and the cozy.

"It's not, but it's one of those days, you know," Jeff lowered his voice. "Two girls already knocked over their drinks and since Matt's not here, I had to clean everything and Jessica is a lazy ass bones so when she's here I have to do most of the job and... Ugh, whatever," he finished with an irritated look on his face. "'m sorry," he muttered.

"Fair enough, I vented last week," he tilted his head. "I'm assuming it's your turn," he smiled softly. Jeff nodded and moved on to start Kurt's drink since, once again, the shop was pretty much empty. "How's your friend doing in New York?"

"Oh, he says it's marvelous and that the apartment is lovely but too big, and he still has to catch up with the rhythm of the city but that New York is making it real easy for him," he laughed as he placed the lid on the cup.

"Well, good luck to him with that. Who knows, maybe I'll run into him," Kurt raised his eyebrows and thanked Jeff once more as he went to a table near the window.

The sky was a light gray and menacing enough for Kurt to know he had to get out of there in no less than thirty minutes or so.

His mind started to wander, to the rain and to Times Square and to Vogue and to NYADA and to money and to rent and groceries and subway and... and Jeff.

He rewound their conversation mentally and looked for him through the growing line of people, anxious to get their morning coffees or whatever they were there for. Kurt got up and fiercely walked up to the counter.

"Jeff, hey Jeff, what was that you said about your friend?" he asked, getting weird looks from a lady behind the current customer.

"What?" he eyed him, confused. "We stopped talking about twenty minutes ago, so I—"

"What you said about his apartment, nice and big?" Kurt smiled and nodded frantically.

"Huh, yeah, lovely but too big—yes, a vanilla latte, yeah," he returned his attention to the client in front of him. "There you go, thanks."

"Is your friend nice? How old is he? You said Brooklyn Heights, right?" Kurt continued.

"Kurt, I'm sort of busy right now," he kept on taking orders, without looking at him. But at Kurt's silent insistence, just by being there on the tip of his toes, he continued, barely glancing at him. "Yeah, he's nine— Ugh, he's nice, way too nice, in fact, he's our age, sort of and yeah, Brooklyn Heights, why you're asking?"

Kurt smiled broadly at him.

"What do you think he meant by too big?" he asked feigning innocence.