March 9, 2013, 1:01 p.m.
Some Things Are Uncontrollable: What Does It Mean
E - Words: 1,146 - Last Updated: Mar 09, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Aug 13, 2012 - Updated: Mar 09, 2013 436 0 4 0 0
'This doesn't mean anything..." Blaine's words replayed in my head, over and over again. Everything happened so fast. Everything was so confusing. One minute Blaine was throwing slushies in my face followed by rude slurs, but now, now everything is different. Wait, is it? I had no idea. All I knew was that from day one, I knew there was something about Blaine Anderson. I knew that boy was special, different. Now, I knew why. He was like me. Not completely like Kurt, but he was gay. Now we could date, right? I didn't expect to find himself wanting to date Blaine. He never expected himself to be standing in the middle of the school parking lot, wishing that I had the weight of Blaine's body pressing me back against the car which was now supporting my long slender frame. I never expected to feel the way I was feeling.
I knew that I needed more answers. What I got during detention didn't nearly suffice. Blaine had so much explaining to do, but that was going to take time, which meant waiting, which was something that Kurt Hummel was not good at.
~~~~~~
The next day in Glee Club, I was the first one in the room, taking a seat in the back. I watched the door anxiously, waiting to see who the next person was that was coming through the door, secretly hoping that it was going to Blaine. I placed my books on the chair next to me, wishing that Blaine would want to sit next to me, that I would be able to look over and meet Blaine's beautiful, honey colored eyes.
But that didn't happen. Blaine walked in the room, making sure to avoid eye contact with me. He took his seat next to Puck as they shared a fist bump. I immediately let out the breath that I had been holding. I felt defeated, but I didn't know exactly why. Blaine and I weren't dating. We weren't an item. We weren't even fr-Were we friends? Did Blaine say we were friends?
~~~~~~
When Glee Club ended, I practically raced out the door, but was quickly stopped by the short brunette. "Kurt, I know that you are really busy with detention and all, but I really need a girls night. Finn and I are fighting and I don't know what I did wrong and I really want you to ask him about how he feels and why he's mad and then you should come and tell m-"
"Rachel. As much as I would love to listen to you talk endlessly about Finn and all of your problems, I have to get to detention, like, right now."
"Kurt Hummel, I don't think that I have ever seen someone so excited to get to detention before in my life."
I looked down the hall, checking to see if Blaine had left his locker yet. Luckily, he hadn't.
"This doesn't have something to do with the fact that you and Blaine Anderson are left alone in a room for an hour, does it?" Rachel teased and Kurt felt his cheeks heat up at the thought of Blaine's lips pressed up against his.
"I have to go. Bye Rachel." I walked away frantically from the all knowing Jew.
~~~~~~
I walked into the detenton room to find Blaine in his usual seat in the back of the room. For a second, I considered going back there to sit with him, but thought better of it, taking my usual seat.
Principal Figgins walked in the room, reciting the same lecture we get everyday about how he is going to be in his office but will be back when detention is over blah...blah...blah. All I could think about was talking to Blaine.
When Figgins left, I turned around to find Blaine reading Romeo & Juliet.
"Really? You're reading?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, we have a project to do, remember?" Blaine said less than politely.
"Why the cold shoulder Jack Frost?" I tried to ease the tension.
"Kurt, can we not?"
"Can we not what, Blaine?"
"Act like nothing happened yesterday."
"I was going to ask you about that actually, but when you wouldn't even look at me during Glee, or come sit with me after Figgins left, I didn't really know how you wanted me to approach this."
"I don't think I can do this."
"Talk or..."
"Be friends. What happened was never supposed to happen."
"Blaine, you were the one that asked to kiss me. I didn't ask to kiss you."
"I know, and I'm sorry for leading you on or whatever. I just, can't risk this getting out."
"I would never tell any-"
"I know. I believe you. I really do. But everyone always wants to tell 'just their bestfriend' and then that becomes another friend and another friend and so on until the entire world knows."
"Would that really be so b-"
"Yes! It would actually! My dad hates me Kurt, because I told him once that I was gay. My mom wants nothing to do with me. If the school found out, my parents would find out, other parents would find out. It would get around. My dad would be the poltical figure with a gay son and you know, that just isn't acceptable. I can't bring any more disgrace to the Anderson Family name than I already have."
"Is that what they tell you? That you are a disappointment?"
"Well aren't I? I smoke, I wear leather and shirts with holes in them, I ride a gashog piece of shit motorcycle, I go off and get high anytime I'm stressed, I'm sitting here in detention for a month, I beat up kids on a daily basis. I mean, I fucking beat up a guy that I actually like."
"Wait."
"What?"
"You actually like me?"
"I never said that, Kurt."
"Yes you did. You said it."
"Stop it. Get that goopy look off your face."
I remembered that Blaine was complaining about his shit of a life and all I got out of that was that Blaine liked me. Wow I'm an asshole.
"I'm sorry that everything is so bad for you. Maybe...maybe you could try something different."
"Like what?"
"Like..." I moved back to the seat beside Blaine, "not beating me, or other kids up, like, riding in a car, like wearing clean clothes that don't smell like smoke."
"If I don't beat people up..."
"You'll be a better person. You'll have more friends..."
"I'll lose all of my friends on the football team."
"Those neanderthals aren't your friends Blaine. People who force you to beat people up or rag on people, those aren't people you should be around."
"Then who should I be around?"
I hesitated for a moment, "Me."
"You?"
"Yeah. Me. And Glee Club."
"I think that I like the thought of being with you better than the rest of Glee Club."
"Are you saying..."
"That I want to be alone with you."
"But I thought that we weren't going to do this."
"I thought that no one cared."
"I care..."
"I know."
"So..."
"So, I think that I'm in like with you."
"Blaine, that is the single cheesiest thing I have ever heard in my life."
"So...would you want to secretly spend time alone together with me?"
"I would love to..."
"You know..."
"That we have an entire classroom to ourselves..."
"For the next twenty minutes..."
"What should we do then Blaine?"
"I have a pretty good idea..."
Comments
Hmmm...what's going to happen when they are alone??? ;) another great chapter!!! Thank you!! Poor Blaine and Kurt...I hoping for some fun and better times for the boys??? ;)
Oh no, honey, thank YOU for reading this!!! And of course. Good things coming!! :)
cute...I know you feel guilty about the long delays...stop beating yourself up. My biggest issue with it is that I can't really keep track of waht is happening and I have to read the last chapter to even have any idea. Maybe if you put a quick, short summery at the begining of each long delayed chapter it would help us.
Awesome!! Thanks, ill make sure to try and do that ext time. Thanks for the input!! <3