What makes you beautiful
mdgl
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Feb. 19, 2012, 10:21 a.m.


What makes you beautiful : A change of mind?


M - Words: 995 - Last Updated: Feb 19, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 9/? - Created: Feb 19, 2012 - Updated: Feb 19, 2012
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Kurt's POV

I sit in the school library and try to focus on the pile of work in front of me. A lot of exams are coming up and I need to do my best. It's been two weeks since I confronted Blaine. He didn't try to contact me nor did I see him in Breadstix - not that I went there for the sole purpose of meeting him. After this incident I told Rachel about what had happened and asked if I overreacted. She denied but it's Rachel I'm talking about. She probably thought I underreacted.

The school is almost completely empty, people are probably at home or having fun outside. Rachel and Finn have a date tonight, so do Mercedes and Sam.

I sigh.

This studying session just doesn't make sense. I can't concentrate on anything other than my miserable single-existence which will probably make me end up alone with a bunch of cats. I close my maths book loudly and pack my bag.

After saying goodbye to Mrs Prez, the library lady, I go to the school's garden. Sugar's dad donated some money in our school so she can have her own 'Motta Square Garden'- ignoring the fact that the Madison Square Garden is not an actual garden. Surprisingly, it's become a rather beautiful place even though people like Puckerman misuse this place to smoke weed.

I sit down under the big oak tree and pull out my treasure of the year a well written biography of the musical genius that is Patti LuPone. I'm so absorbed in this book that I don't even notice someone drawing closer to me.

As I hear a twig break, I look up and almost scream in surprise. In front of me stands none other than: David Karofsky. He looks at me just as surprised as I am – and embarrassed?

"What are you doing here, Kurt?" Kurt? That's the first time he says my name instead of insulting me. "Reading, obviously.", I reply. It's better not to talk much to him. "I can see that", he says smiling. Okay, now he's smiling?

Is this really Karofsky?

Is this another trick?

Making me feel save just to shove me against the tree or call me names again? I just nod and act like I keep on reading but I'm fully aware of his presence.

He ricks his neck to read the cover of my book. When he finally gets it, he asks something I will never, and I mean, never forget.

"Who the hell is that Patty LuPone?"

I cannot believe this guy's ignorance. I mean, sure he's a bully. And a homophobe. And probably racist, too. But now he's telling me he doesn't know about the icon that is Patti LuPone? Seriously? I've lost faith in humanity.

During my brief explanation of who Patti LuPone is, I recognize something in his face which I cannot help but file under sincere interest.

"So that chick is basically a singing actress?"

I cringe.

"Patti Ann LuPone is an inspiration"And after a while I add "She's one of the reasons I want to get out of here."

To my surprise, he sounds gentle as he says"I'm sure you will." I look into his eyes and I think I'm dreaming. How come this is the same guy who shoved me against my locker three weeks ago? I smile and, even though it'll make the magic go away, I ask him. "Did something happen to you?" He looks confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, you know what I mean. Didn't you insult me, like a month ago? And now you're all chatty with me?" He looks surprised for a moment – maybe he didn't think he behaved differently, or maybe he was surprised about me pointing it out-but then sadness takes over his face.

"Yes, I did. And I'm sorry for what I did. I know, this comes late, but, would you forgive me? I-"

his voice breaks and tears start streaming down his face.

"I'm so terribly sorry for everything I did to you. I wasn't myself, I swear, I'm not a bad person!

I never wanted to be this person, it's just", he sobs, dashing away the tears with his arm-useless, since new ones continue to come.

"it's just it's so much easier to be this person", he points at his red, shiny football jacket. The piece of clothing which defines who you are at this school. "than to be who I really am"

I don't know what to do.

I want to comfort him, tell him whatever is bothering him will be alright- that everything will be eventually.

Yet something is stopping me from comforting the crying guy in front of me.

I still cannot get over how things can change from one minute to another. I stroke his arm, gently an intimate gesture.

He smiles and his underlip shakes. "I came out of the closet this morning", he says.

I stare at him.

When I finally manage to form words, it feels like a year has passed.

"You're gay?"

I shake my head.

Karofksy, the known homophobe?

This doesn't make sense.

"My parents didn't believe it. They said they'd ship me off to some camp where I could learn to be myself." he laughs but it's fake and cold "Isn't it funny?When I'm finally myself, they tell me to be someone else!Someone's idea of me!", he shakes his head quickly as if he could erase the painful memory.

"I don't know what to do, Kurt. I can't go back home. They said that if I went to school, it'd clear my mind and if I still didn't think straight-", he laughs at the words. I hug him. Simple as that. Whatever happened between David and me, everything he did to me, is irrelevant for now. Here he is, the guy who hurt me a thousand times, looking more vulnerable than I possibly ever could. "Hush", I say.

"Everything will be alright." "How can you say that? How do you know?", he asks but he doesn't resist. "I just know it", I reply. I look at him again, smiling encouragingly.

And that's when his lips meet mine.

 


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