Kurt's POV

Part 1

"Wait, Kurt, if you're gay..." Blaine looks puzzled." Does that mean you guys really aren't dating after all?" Blaine asks in amazement.

Rachel laughs "I'm dating Kurt's step brother Finn."

"Wow. I really thought you guys were a couple. Running around holding hands and stuff."

"We're best friends", I hear her say and my heart melts a little. "Do you have a boyfriend Kurt?" I almost choke on my Non-Fat Mocha.

"No, I've never had one." "Well, sometimes it's better not to have one. Or just to wait until you're completely sure. It's no good being with a person for a week if you don't even like them" "Experience?", I ask

"Well, I really like Sebastian even though he can be really difficult to handle at times" The images popping into my mind make me blush immediately. "But sometimes I wished we waited until we got together, you know? Things have been happening super fast lately" Blaine takes a sip of his medium drip and runs his fingers through his dark chocolate coloured hair as his puppy eyes look sadly directly at me. Does that mean they are on the verge of breaking up? Or does that mean he's going to fight for that sad excuse of a relationship? Sometimes I hate myself for overanalysing.

Rachel looks startled. "I cannot believe how you can stick with that guy, you could do so much better, Blaine, and-"

" I told you he isn't that ass he makes out of himself. He's a nice guy, Rachel. I just feel like we do have different priorities. " Duh, I think. Of course, you have. Sebastian Smythe is an impolite jerk whereas you are one of the nicest people I've ever hoped to meet. Can't you see that we have more in common than you and that 90ies DiCaprio rip off?

Rachel sighs. For a short moment - seriously, just the blink of an eye- she gets a satisfied expression on her face and smiles at me and Blaine. "Speaking of priorities, Blaine, I've been thinking about how despite being our competition you seem to be a lovely guy who could maybe learn something from the New Directions."

I raise an eyebrow. What is she on about?

" This week's assignment is called Chemistry which was my brilliant idea - you can give me credit later, and today Tina and Puck performed a lovely duet - of course, some flaws still really well performed- however, how about you guys singing a duet?"

"In your glee club?" Blaine is speechless. "I'd be honoured to do so! Is that okay with you, Kurt?"

"Um, sure I guess. " "It's settled then! Here is a list of songs about chemistry I selected for your type of voices yesterday" she searches in her bag for something when Blaine interrupts her. "Rachel, wait. I think we'll deal with that on our own if that's okay with you, Rachel?" WHICH EQUALS MORE TIME FOR BLAINE AND ME! I look at Rachel meaningfully.

Poor Rachel looks really disagreeing when she meets my glance she pushes her hair behind her ear with an aggressive gesture.

" Of course. Still here my suggestions. You don't need to take one of them though. Do you think it could be ready for, let's say, the day after tomorrow?" "No problem", I say.

I'm so excited, I couldn't even sleep last night. Blaine and I have been practising the last two days and got to know each other more. Blaine's favourite musical is Wicked. He loves Disney movies and football. No siblings but a whole lot of love for the Warblers who are just like his brothers - except for Sebastian who is his lover.

Ugh. Blaine is endearing, really. He's one of these people who really want an honest answer when they ask how you are doing or what your day was like. He isn't curious- he's just caring. He doesn't seem to have a great relationship with his parents thus speaking rarely about them. I wanted to know more about it, of course, but he was terse and I didn't want to force him into telling me things he obviously didn't want to. I wonder if he talks to Sebastian about the things we talk about - if Sebastian's ostentation makes him cringe or smile - or maybe both for that matter.

Today we're going to perform the song we chose in glee club!

It took me hours - seriously, this is not a hyperbole-, to get ready. I decided to wear a black leather jacket and a black shirt underneath it with a hat. I'm so happy! I keep smiling like an idiot and approach my locker as suddenly someone throws me against it. I squeal, shocked, as I look up to see the guy's face: David Karofsky. "What you lookin' at, fag?" he shouts at me as I wince.

David has been bullying me as long as I can remember and he is unlikely to stop. Tina runs to me, looking terrified.

"Kurt, are you ok?" I put on a smile. "Sure. He's just being the asshole he's always been. I'm fine, nothing can ruin this day." She looks at me confused. "What's that supposed to mean? Why don't you just report him to the school? I'm sure- "

"How many people have reported these guys? Not only for tossing us around but also for throwing slushies into the faces of every single member of our glee club? There won't be consequences because after all nobody cares about us", I say bitterly. "However, today's different. "

"Oh, so today we're going to meet that mysterious Blaine Warbler?" "Exactly. You're going to love him - I mean, you can't help it. " When I enter the choir room, I have to suppress a laugh: Santana and Rachel are fighting as always while Quinn rolls her eyes at them and Puck's thinking dirty things - you just can tell.

Rachel's eyes light up when she sees me. "Kurt! Where's Blaine? People are getting excited about our competition and want to see what he's capable of." "I texted him twice this morning and a couple of minutes ago. He didn't reply any of them but yesterday he said he'd be here at..." I look at my watch. " Oh. Ten minutes ago." My stomach begins to flip. What if ...? Rachel raises an eyebrow, questioning.

"Where is he?", she demands. " I don't know, Rachel", I admit, trying to hide the shaking in my voice.

What if...?

Rachel doesn't seem to notice my inner break down - or maybe she's just oblivious to it, it's Rachel Berry after all. She takes a deep breath as she doesn't want to freak out - yeah, like she's the one being dumped right now.

There. He dumped me.

No, he'll come.

He probably just didn't catch the bus or anything like that.

He won't let me down.

He said he wouldn't ever let me down.

" Santana said she had a song to perform and nearly ripped my hair off when I told her that you guys were going to sing together today so, if he's not coming you should probably inform her yourself since-"

"God, Rachel! Just shut up and text him if you want to know where he is so badly!" I snap at her. She looks at me shocked for a second-then sad- and, even worse disappointed. She mumbles something under her breath about texting him and reaches for her purse. My heart beats loudly and fast while her fingers are tipping on her cell phone.

Under different circumstances I'd apologize for snapping at her but I'm too miserable myself.

Maybe I've been imagining things - maybe Blaine doesn't feel and will never feel anything more for me than what we are now. What we are now. What the hell are we? I thought we were friends but maybe he doesn't even feel like that? Maybe he won't show up because he simply doesn't feel like it. Why would he come? I'm just some dude he met at Breadstix. It might have felt like something different - but maybe it isn't. I'm just another guy.

Wait, I shouldn't think that.

He said he would never let me down.

Rachel's cell phone vibrates. He replied to her. He replied her texts but didn't bother to answer mine. When she looks up I already know what his text says. She's no good at hiding feelings. "Um, Blaine cannot attend today's meeting" All of a sudden the room's chatter dies. Everyone's looking at me.

Why can't they keep talking?

This is so embarrassing. I know what they think. I can almost hear it.

Rachel approaches me, smiling unsurely. "Kurt, I'm sure his absence is due to important private issues he did not feel comfortable to share with me", Rachel assures. Instead of telling her how unconvinced she looks about her own theory I just bite my lip and, then, put on a smile when I'd love to just lay down and cry. "I'm sure about that. Santana, didn't you want to sing something?"

Without commenting the situation Santana stands up - something I'm grateful for. During her performance I cannot help but think about Blaine. How he just ditched me.

How could he? I would never do that.

Then again, I'm in love with Blaine. I am. Different situations, I guess.

When you're in love you want to just climb on a rooftop and scream on the top of your lungs your feelings. You smile like an idiot and want everyone to know that you're not the same anymore - you cannot be the same after what you've been feeling after all. However, when you're in love, there is a time, just like today, where you just want to die.