Rachel's concern began growing from the moment that Kurt walked into her history class wearing an out of season jacket. Kurt Hummel was never out of fashion, even on his darkest days. She brushed it off, deciding to leave it up to Kurt to come talk to her if he needed to. Since her dad ran into him at the coffee shop, she and Kurt had become closer and could confide in each other. She knew that Kurt was having more trouble than usual from Karofsky but that had to pass at some point. The bully would get bored of harassing the kid and move on-that's how high school worked.

          It was when Kurt didn't show up to Glee club practice that she realized how serious this could be. Sure, Kurt never got quite as much attention as Rachel did in the choir room, but he loved it. Even there though, he'd looked as if he was restraining himself. It looked as if he was prepared to lash out, screaming for something. He wanted to be noticed, but who didn't? This is high school, Rachel thought. Sure, she liked the guy-okay, maybe she felt more than just like-but she wouldn't give up being the star she is for anyone. She would call Kurt that day after practice, but she told herself that Kurt would have to put his big boy britches on and get over whatever's got him down.

~*~

          Kurt would be ashamed to admit the state he was in right now-curled up on the old rocking chair in the attic, hugging his childhood teddy bear, eyes misty and about to tear up. His composure was solemn, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold that state. He sat in front of his mother's old dresser with the drawers open, trying to hold onto the comforting scent of her that remained. It was like rain and freshly washed clothes, like the first day of spring with newly cut grass and blossoming flowers.

          He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and gripping his stuffed animal tightly. Soft, broken sobs came out instead of coherent sentences, but he fought through them. She wasn't here, not in the way he wanted her to be, but he needed to talk to her more than he could put into words.

          "Mom...I...I don't know how much longer I c-can take this..."

          Karofsky had been unbearable lately. It seemed as though he found fault in everything Kurt did, and even what he didn't do. When Kurt went to Glee practice, Karofsky would call him a fairy for singing. When Kurt didn't get dressed immediately after gym with the rest of his class, then Karofsky would ask if he was lost and direct him towards to girls' locker room. If he did get dressed with the rest of them, Karofsky would accuse Kurt of checking him out. Constantly, Kurt was pushed into lockers, left with bruises that he couldn't explain to his father and that no one else noticed at all.

          "You'd know what to say, Mom. Even...even if you didn't, you'd be here at least and just...you'd make it go away. All of it. Everything in this cow town." Kurt spoke softly, more to himself than to the room.

          He let himself sit in the silence for a few moments, submerging himself into the calm that seemed to leave him as soon as he left the house. There was a strange sort of comfort in this room, nostalgic mostly. It was like he was uprooting a deep sadness of a memory, that of his mother's death, but it also brought back all of the beautiful memories of her. He thought of her soft brown hair that smelled like strawberries and lilac when he hugged her and her blue-green eyes that were ever so curious about the world surrounding her. He inherited that curiosity from her. Unfortunately, not much of the world could be seen from his residence of Lima, Ohio and what he did see was bleak and uninspiring. He wanted to promise his mother that he'd make it out of this town, out of this state entirely-but he couldn't even see himself out of high school anymore. It was as if everyone already decided for him that this was it; he would be a Lima Loser for the rest of his life.

         It was pointless, all of it. The façade put up as he went to school, pretending as if no one and nothing could faze him with hurtful words and gossiping. Yes, technically he was still in the closet, but was there really a point to coming out? Was there a reason to affirm what everyone already believed? Now, with this one jock so set out to make Kurt understand how much a freak he was, it was making it harder for Kurt to hold onto his father's proud words of, "No one pushes the Hummels around!" He was being pushed around, beaten, slushied, and belittled every single day and no one wanted it to be their problem, so they chose to not acknowledge it. If it wasn't happening to them, then it must not be happening at all. Being the bigger person wasn't as easy as it was said to be, especially when the one supposedly beneath him was about twice his size.

          What the hell was holding him back now? What was the point of restricting himself? Aside from his father, only one person really reached out to him- Blaine Anderson. Rachel's dad. A man twice his age.  And he was the only other person who cared anymore, because right now, Kurt couldn't bring himself to do so. He took out his phone and typed quickly.

1 NEW TEXT MSG

To: Rachel Anderson

From: Kurt Hummel

Msg: Would you mind if I came over tomorrow? Just to hang out for a bit.

          He bit his bottom lip in hesitation before sending the text. He wasn't outright asking to hang out with her dad but he might as well be.  The reply came quickly.

1 NEW TEXT MSG

To: Kurt Hummel

From: Rachel Anderson

Msg: That'd be awesome! I'll tell my dad you're staying for dinner! :)

          Kurt was near smiling before it faltered with realization of how close to a lie this was. Yes, he cared about Rachel, but this wasn't about her, as he implied. This was for his own sake, his own sanity. He needed to talk to someone, and as odd as a circumstance as it was, that would have to be Rachel's father

~*~

          Kurt knocked on the door, straightening his black leather jacket and red tie. When the door opened, he took a deep breath as he was greeted by a smiling Blaine Anderson with an apron, tied at the waist.

          "Hey Kurt!", the man said with a grin. It was infectious, causing Kurt to break out into a hint of a smile as well. "Dinner's almost ready. Tomato basil roasted-pepper panini's, vegan for Rachel, of course. Sound good?

          "Sounds really good, actually." Kurt replied. He walked in, scanning the room for Rachel.

          "She's picking up a few groceries-I wanted to make dessert too, but we're out of Rachel's almond milk and she'd throw a fit if we used dairy. I think she expected you to come a bit later." It was a simple statement, not accusing Kurt of doing anything wrong. Blaine just went back to the kitchen and sliced tomatoes as Kurt stood awkwardly at the counter, unsure of how to approach this conversation. Thankfully, Blaine spoke first.

          "I don't want to be the annoying parent who asks ‘how's school going' , but...how's school going?" He asked without looking up.

          "It's...going." Kurt paused. "Can't say I'm enjoying it more than anyone else at McKinley." Blaine put the knife down and wiped off his hands with a dish towel. He looked up at Kurt with questioning eyes.

          "I mean...how's it going, in accordance to what we talked about at the Lima Bean?" He walked over to stand beside Kurt, keeping his gaze forward as to not pressure the boy. Kurt gulped before he launched into the situation.

          "Just understand that I'm not a kid, okay? I'm old enough to handle myself." Kurt warned, trying to sound older than he felt next to the man.

          "I don't doubt it," Blaine said casually. "You're a smart guy, Kurt. But I know things aren't always easy, and you know that as well."

          Kurt dropped his gaze to the tile floor. He didn't want to break down in front of Mr. Anderson; he wasn't that weak. The teenager busied himself with picking imaginary lint off of his jacket.

          "It doesn't go away. None of it does. When people insult you, when they degrade you, they seem to think that their comments leave with them, but they don't. They're stuck in my mind, left to resonate, left to eat away at me until the only thing to do is to believe that I'm less than them." Kurt bit at his bottom lip, refusing to look at Blaine.

          "You aren't. Kurt..." Blaine tried as he attempted to move closer, hoping Kurt would explain more. Instead the boy slinked back, but continued.

          "I know that, every part of me knows that, but it doesn't seem to feel like that. If I'm just as human, then why do they get to decide who gets pushed around and whose okay? Why do they decide who's a loser and who's not?" Kurt snapped. The bite of his tone wasn't directed towards Blaine, but it came out that way. Blaine stepped back, giving Kurt room to collect his self.

          "They don't though, not really. After high school, they'll be here in Lima. You're not like that, Kurt. You have so much ahead of you, so much more than what they have going for them."  Blaine tried, wanting to comfort Kurt but unsure that his words reached the boy when he knew that he must have had this talk with his dad before. What was so different about Blaine being the one to give the pep talk this time?

          "The future sounds great and all, and wow, I sure hear a lot about it from everyone with these "it gets better" chats, but this is now. These are the next couple years of my life." Kurt began, now pacing the room with his eyes still staring down at the floor. Blaine leaned with his back against the counter and his arms folded, letting the teenager go on. "And forgive me, but I'm tired of hearing about the time it'll take from this moment, right now, to go to a time where my life doesn't suck quite so much."

          Kurt screwed his eyes shut and turned his face away, fighting back the emotions before they became evident. Blaine sighed, unsure of what he could possibly say to make the situation any better. The boy was constantly told to stick out his years of high school and to make the best of things, but no one wanted to give him the time of day. Blaine couldn't be like them. He knew how easy it was for society to look in the opposite direction when it came to bullying. They believed that if they weren't the ones inflicting the torment, then they couldn't be guilty of anything. Blaine knew better.

          "I want to fix things, Kurt." The older man began speaking. "I want to fast forward to the part where people just accept people and things that are different, where they learn that we're all humans and we're all on the same level." When Kurt's eyes opened and his head tilted up, Blaine took the opportunity to look him in the eyes. "I want to, so badly, but I can't. I can tell you that it gets better; I can tell you that you have a bright future. But those are just words right now, arranged in a nice way-but that's all they are. They're just nice ideas. At this moment though, right here, I can tell you this- I'm not going anywhere. You have your dad, your Glee club, Rachel, and now, you have me to support you and everything you do."  Kurt's eyes were starting to mist, so Blaine placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You've been through a lot, Kurt, too much for someone your age." But don't you ever let yourself believe that you have to go through it alone, okay?"

          Wordlessly, Kurt nodded. Blaine gave a small smile and stood up straighter in front of the teenager. Kurt let out a tiny hiccup before completely losing it, tearing up, and crashing onto Blaine's chest. Blaine held up both hands, as if surrendering to the boy's loss of restraint. Slowly, Blaine allowed himself to embrace the boy back, rubbing gentle circles on his back as Kurt worked to regulate his breathing. He wouldn't mind this, being the one that the boy could talk to. He realized that he genuinely wanted to be a part of this kid's life, and not just because of Rachel. After a little less than a minute, Kurt let go.

          "I'm sorry; I sort of lost myself there." Kurt apologized as his cheeks tinted pink. Blaine gave a sad smile.

          "You shouldn't be. I promised to be here for you, remember? Hugs are included in the deal, no extra charge." Blaine broke into a cheesy grin, giving Kurt the excuse he needed to giggle. 

          The laugh faded, but neither man moved. The stared at each other a little, as if assessing an object. It wasn't cold or scrutinizing, but strangely comfortable. Kurt was the first to cough and look away before Blaine even realized how awkward that scenario should have been-but it wasn't.

          Blaine realized how much the silence was begging to be broken.

          "Want to watch TV until Rachel gets here?" He suggested, feeling a sense of relief when Kurt nodded.

          They made their way to the living room where Blaine turned the television on to a marathon of The Bachelorette. Kurt rolled his eyes at the choice, finding it a bit funny that a grown man would choose to watch that, despite the fact that he loved bad TV as well. He let a small smile escape. Still, the teenager seemed preoccupied as he lounged on the sofa while Blaine sat in the recliner beside it.

          Kurt's eyes shifted around the room from the television, the book shelf, the stack of magazines, on the coffee table, Blaine (for only a second, he tells himself), to the grand piano. It's sleek, black, and has hand-written music sheets lying on it. He tries making it out, but Blaine interrupts him.

          "Gee, I know how much you love this show, Kurt, but don't be so enthusiastic about it." Blaine jokes sarcastically. Kurt blushes.

          "Sorry...I just...did you write that?" Kurt asked, hesitantly.

          "Write what?" Blaine said, seemingly clueless to Kurt's stare at it.

          "That." Kurt pointed to the music sheets. Blaine's cheeks flushed as he looked to them.

          "Those. Um, yeah, but it's not that great. I wrote it back in high school." He paused, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh, would you like to hear it?" Kurt smiled and nodded furiously.

          "Yes, of course!" Kurt got up to stand beside the piano as Blaine sat down, fixing the notes in front of him.

          "This is really old; I was just showing Rachel the other day because she found the papers in the attic and asked about them. That being said-don't just me too harshly on this.

          Blaine played skillfully, keeping his eyes completely on the notes, and closing his eyes to fully lose himself in the music once in a while. The song itself was beautiful, causing Kurt to grin widely as Blaine kept an intense expression. Kurt couldn't help but think about how gorgeous the man looked at this moment, so serious and passionate about what he was doing. When Blaine finished, Kurt clapped and Blaine blushed, pretending to bow.

          "Sounds advanced for a high school student." Kurt raised an eyebrow

          "Nah, just had the inspiration at the time. With a muse comes focus and a bit of dedication." Blaine assured.

          "So you're one of those deep, starving, soulful artists?" Kurt asked, clenching his chest in mock dramatization. Blaine chuckled at that and shook his head.

          "Not that pretentious. Music's my thing, I guess." The older man shrugged.

          "Your thing? That's the best you can articulate, yet you can play like that? Not fair." Kurt poked him. Blaine rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

          "There's not much to say about it. I mean...I'm musician in every way I can be. I love to tie myself to music in every form.  I'm a lover, listener, and big time advocate. Seriously, I've considered turning it into a profession, as a teacher." Blaine explained in a serious tone. It wasn't condescending; he spoke to Kurt as an adult.

          "Why not go for it?"

          "Oh, I have no background in teaching." Blaine shooed that idea away.

          "Well," Kurt smiled shyly. "There was that one lesson you gave me..." He began, enjoying the older man's growing blush. Before Blaine could switch the subject himself, the door flew open.

          "KURT! You're already here?! Why didn't you text me?! Dad, you should have called! I..." From that point, Kurt tuned her out. Blaine seemed to listen to his daughter, but Kurt could tell that he had other things on his mind as well.

          "So, dinner time, yeah?" Blaine cut Rachel off. Though Rachel objected, they each took their respective seats at the table and Blaine served the food.

          Throughout dinner and despite an oblivious Rachel's presence, Kurt and Blaine continued to steal glances at one another.

          Later, after Kurt had gone home, Blaine contemplated just how practical it was to get so involved in the teenager's life. He knew that these developing feelings couldn't be safe to toy with, but believed that he could restrain himself. In fact, he had to. There was no way that he would let Kurt believe that he was any more alone than he actually was.

          He would not abandon him.