Finn heard a small musical tapping on his door, recognizing it immediately as Kurt's signature knock. Finn looked to the clock on his bedside table and noiselessly chuckled to himself. Every night at 8:30 Kurt would bring him warm milk and try and talk to him. It made Finn feel a twinge of shame to admit it to himself, but when Kurt had first started doing this he found it rather annoying. As the weeks went by however, Finn had grown to like the small talks with Kurt and trying to find ways to look like he was drinking the milk when he actually wasn't.

"Come in!" Finn yelled with a mouth full of cheetos. Kurt came in dressed as usual in his designer pajamas and carrying the small glass of warm milk. Finn thought Kurt looked kind of sad. But Kurt had so much on his plate, who wouldn't be sad? Thought Finn to himself. Kurt sat down on Finns desk chair and gave him a weak smile.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Finn said, again with a mouth full of cheetos.

Kurt eyed Finns mouth wearily, then seemed to find the talking with your mouth full moment highly amusing and chuckled. Highly un-Kurt like. "I actually wanted to talk to you, Finn." Finn sat up on his bed facing Kurt lazily. "Well, sorry if I'm being too forward but, well you have been a really awesome brother to me Finn and I really do appreciate it…" Kurt seemed to be thinking hard for a few seconds before he reached in his pajama pants pocket and pulled out a pocket watch. "This was a gift from my mom and dad before she passed away, I know this seems weird but, I just want you to have it."

Kurt handed the pocket watch to Finn who looked extremely confused. "But dude, what would I do with a pocket watch?"

Kurt gave another weak smile. "Just have it, that's all. You don't have to use it, just, just have it." Kurt said fondly. Finn looked up at Kurt and he was shocked to see the boy looked on the verge of tears. Kurt got up immediately and walked to the door. Kurt looked at Finn for a long moment and then with a strange finality said "goodnight, Finn." And walked out of the room, shutting the door gently.

Finn may not have been the smartest dude out there, but he sure wasn't stupid, and Finn knew something was up with Kurt. Finn lay on his bed wondering what it was, his mind easily wandering back to cheetos and blown up zombies.

It was an interesting night for Burt Hummel, who sat next to his wife carol talking about his day. Burt had to admit he was worried about Kurt. He told his wife about how Kurt had come to him earlier after dinner to talk to him. They talked about his childhood and about his mother. They talked about good memories and bad. Burt didn't mind talking to his son about his life, in fact he enjoyed the feeling it gave him that him and Kurt lived through life together and were there for each other, but still it was very un-like Kurt. He had asked Burt a lot of strange questions. Kurt had asked his father if he had truly made it through his mother dying, if Burt always accepted him for who he was, and asked an extremely deep question on what Burt thought about life. Kurt had seemed to cling onto Burt's every word, as if expecting him to say something in particular.

The only thing that worried Burt more than the interesting conversation was the way it had ended. Kurt had seemed extremely reluctant to let Burt go to bed, and when Burt did manage to get up and head towards the stairs, Kurt had brought his father into a tight hug and told Burt that he loved him. After that Kurt had turned right around trying to hide tears, and gotten out the milk to warm up for Finn like he did every night.

"Burt honey, you seem extremely worried. I've always believed parents have an instinct when it comes to their children's well being, so I think you should go check on Kurt. I'm worried too, plus you'll never get to sleep in this state."

Carols words were too true too deny, so Burt kissed her on the cheek and went to go check on his son.

Finn sat in his room sipping at his steadily colder warm milk, reading some stupid play by Shakespeare about magic. He was only half reading the book, the other half of his mind trying to find an excuse to stop reading.

A voice from next door yelled "Kurt!" Finn, quite oblivious to the frantic tone of Burt's voice, thought that was a decent reason to stop reading and put the book down to ease drop. The same voice yelled again. "Carol get over here now!" Finn couldn't mistake the urgent tone in Burt's voice this time, and at the fast footsteps that indicated his mother, Finn got up to go see what was going on. He was half way to his door when carol screamed.

Finn lunged at the door and the second he had turned the door handle Carol yelled "Finn stay where you are! Stay in your room! Burt I'm calling 911 now." His mother's voice was cracking and interrupted by sobs.

911? Why did they need to call 911? Was there a burglar? It didn't sound like a burglar, and the sounds were coming from Kurt's room, not anywhere a burglar could have gotten in. was Kurt hurt? Finn couldn't imagine why carol would scream if Kurt was hurt. Finn was getting extremely worried now and almost pelted his mother with questions when she came through the door looking like she had just been tortured.

"What the hell is going on?" Finn yelled franticly.

"Finn, baby…uhm sit down." Carol said softly, still with a look of great pain, tears streaming down her face. After Finn had sat down she gathered herself up. "Finn, honey its Kurt…he-he, he's hurt himself. He-"

Finn cut her off, starting to panic. "What do you mean hurt himself?"

"Baby Kurt has" she gasped loudly, "He tried to kill himself." Carol seemed about to crumple, while Finn sat rooted to his bed, refusing to believe what he had heard.

"Tried…" Finn whispered in a breaking voice.

"Yes, baby, tried, he's still breathing but, but we don't, we don't" she didn't seem able to go on and just put her face in her hands, sobbing.

Finn couldn't move, he couldn't think. Was Kurt going to die? Kurt, diva Kurt, die? He refused to believe it, so instead he just sat without a thought, without feeling, only a lingering presence of worry in his stomach to keep him aware he was even alive himself.

Carol ran out of the room to let the paramedics in, Finn heard them come upstairs to Kurt's room, head them head outside again. Finn still sat unmoving, unfeeling. Carol came in and said something about getting in the car, so Finn got up to do just that. As he reached his door he realized he had no idea what he would see when he passed Kurt's room.

Finn stepped near the staircase that led downstairs, trying to see into Kurt's room. The sight that met him made Finn nearly burst into tears himself, now understanding his mothers scream. Blood, puddles of blood streaming from near the window, staining the wooden floor and soaking the edges of a carped a few feet away from the puddles. Finn was about to be sick when he saw his mother by Kurt's bed, punching buttons on Kurt's phone. Finn heard rather than felt himself run down the stairs and get in the car. He sat there, thinking hard.

The longer Finn thought, the angrier he got. It was the bullies fault. It was their fault that Kurt might die. What kind of world would make a person like Kurt, innocent, moral Kurt, want to kill themselves. Finn had watched Kurt struggle through so much pain, but he had always though Kurt was strong enough to handle it. He remembered earlier that night when Kurt had come into his room and given him the pocket watch. Finn had known something was up, he had seen Kurt, possibly minutes before he had hurt himself, and he had done absolutely nothing. Finn had thought about cheetos and zombies, and he hated himself for it. how could the world still exist, how could people still walk and talk and eat like everything was normal, how could the world still go on when an innocent boy like Kurt was in so much pain he tried to take his own life?

Finn had a furious desire to break something, but instead grabbed his hair and pulled, feeling insane. This wasn't the world he thought he lived in, a world where good people are treated good and bad people are treated badly. Finn had known, of course, that it wasn't always like that, but wasn't there some worldly justice? Justice that allowed the good to get some type of compensation for their pain? Everything Finn had believed was crashing down around him. How could there be an eternal justice when Kurt could be dead and the evil people who made it happen stay healthy and well? Where was justice when a boy who was loving and caring was humiliated every day to the point of suicide, just because he was something those evil people couldn't understand?

Finn was shocked out of his insane haze of thought when the car he was sitting in parked inside the hospital parking lot. He hadn't even noticed carol enter the car, hadn't noticed her driving, and hadn't noticed he was moving.

When Finn finally saw Kurt, it was like he was looking into the eyes of injustice. He was seeing proof that the world was an unfair place where the good die young and the evil prosper. Finn just stared at Kurt who looked Brocken and shriveled. If he hadn't seen the chest rising and falling, he would have thought the boy was dead, he was so pale. Finn had always heard of suicides, but he never associated them with people like Kurt. Suicidal people were supposed to be older and mentally ill, not young and innocent. It was like watching those commercials about the abused animals. You look at them and you see a being that never did anything to deserve pain, put got it in such a quantity they became fragile and Brocken. But Kurt was Finns brother, his friend, the guy who had taught Finn more about being a man than anyone else, and too see Kurt in such pain took all the life out of him. Kurt never deserved to hate himself, never deserved to hate his life. Where was justice?

Blaine sat at his desk working on a homework assignment. He would write a few sentences then wander off into his own though, write a few more sentences then wander off again. As he would wander off he would think of what other homework he had to do, and the warbler party he had to plan for the weekend, but most of all he thought of Kurt. Blaine wondered when he would next see him; they hadn't hung out in a little more than a week and it had made Blaine thoroughly frustrated. He was always so worried about this boy he had met a few months ago. Blaine worried if Kurt was happy, worried that the bullies were getting too much, and worried that Kurt would never have feelings for him. The latter was his biggest concern, Blaine knew he had reason to believe Kurt liked him back, but the doubt was enough to keep Blaine from taking any action. Blaine didn't think he could stand looking Kurt at a friend; it would be like losing air, even if that air was already so rare in the first place.

Blaine felt his phone buzzing and when he saw who it was his heart inflated like a helium balloon. It was Kurt. He hoped they would plan to hang out this weekend; Blaine was dying to see him. He opened his phone.

"Kurt hey!" Blaine said enthusiastically.

"No, no Blaine this is carol." A sorrowful voice said from the other end. Blaine immediately became worried. "Blaine its Kurt, I know you're not family but he always talks about you and I thought you should know, it seems you really care for him. Blaine…" carol gave a loud gasp; it sounded like she was holding back sobs. "Kurt has tried to kill himself, we- we-we don't know if he'll make it. He's going to the local lima hospital if you want to come."

"Okay." Blaine said dumbly. He dropped his phone and it slammed shut as it hit the floor. Blaine sat there for what seemed like an hour trying to process what he has heard.

They didn't know if he would make it. Did that mean Kurt could die? Kurt might be dead? But Kurt couldn't die… he was too alive, invincible. The word dead seemed like a meaningless word, almost equivalent to asleep, so Blaine tried to figure out what the word dead meant. Dead meant Kurt would never talk again, never walk again. It meant Blaine would never see Kurt smile again, never feel his warm hand in his own. It meant those beautiful blue eyes would never open again, never gaze into Blaine's with love and affection. It meant Kurt would never feel the breeze of wind on his cheeks or the feeling of another's touch again. Just minutes ago Blaine was worrying about whether or not Kurt had feelings for him, thinking about something as mundane as a warbler's party. Those things felt like ants compared to the universe right now, the universe that was Kurt's death.

Each one of these thoughts felt like daggers to Blaine's stomach, incensing him to the point he was almost certain Kurt was dead. He knew however he wouldn't truly believe it for himself till he saw it with his own eyes. Blaine stood up, feeling oddly light. He ran downstairs and to his car without a backward glance. It was extremely strange to Blaine how he could move and drive without actually feeling like he was in his body. He felt like someone else was controlling motor functions while he lay in misery, curled up inside his own head. Everything that didn't involve getting to Kurt was ignored. Fixing his hair after running fingers through it was useless. Straightening his clothes and whipping his eyes felt like useless chores.

The two hour drive to Lima went by in what seemed like 5, and he felt like a dying man searching for bread as he made his way through front desks, nurses, and angry visitors. When he finally got to the ER his only thought was find Kurt, he can't be dead, Kurt is not dead. Blaine hardly noticed as he passed carol who sat weeping with Finn who looked pale and shocked, tears cascading down his face, resting his head on her lap. When he reached the door his only wish, his only thought was too see what was behind the door, he heavily slammed the door open and stood in the doorframe of an eerie hospital room with flickering florescent lights.

There sat Kurt, looking him in the eyes. Blue sad eyes that were alive, Kurt was alive. Kurt was alive and that was all that mattered in the entire world, the only thing that was even happening in the world that seemed to go no further than this hospital room.

"God damn it, Kurt!" he heard himself yell as Blaine felt himself crumple.

Blaine came to the conclusion that each second Kurt was alive, each second he was alive was like a precious jewel. For 2 long hours Blaine thought Kurt was dead, and in those 2 hours he had grown years older, years wiser. Kurt was alive, and Blaine was never going to take his life, or the boy he loves life for granted any longer.