Kurt wakes up around two in the morning with a horrible crick in the neck from sleeping in a cramped position. He’s still on the couch and in his day clothes, and his skin is warm and sticky. At first, he’s not entirely sure what woke him up, but then he spots his phone, where it’s lighting up and vibrating on the coffee table. It’s a drunk text from Mercedes, which he ignores, but then there’s a long list of missed calls and texts from Blaine. Furious, he turns his phone off, drags himself off the couch, wiggles out of his jeans and socks and crawls into bed. He lies there for a while, but it’s like somebody’s turned on a switch in his head and he can’t go back to sleep.
Blaine’s words keep playing on a loop in his mind, making him angrier and angrier. How dare Blaine talk to him like that! He saved his brother’s life; that should count for something. He’s seething, but somehow the anger feels like a cover for something else. Kurt is no stranger to anger and humiliation, but this stings like hurt and fear. It hurts that Blaine, who he knows and who knows him, was so ready to believe the worst of him. He’s used to that kind of thing from strangers, but not from his friends.
It is like Blaine was trying to take something away from him. And the fact is, when the truth comes out, that’s exactly what will happen. Because not only will Kurt face possible litigation, but he will also lose Grandma, Veronica, Nigel and Sally. Most importantly, he will lose Blaine. Tonight felt like he was already losing him, and it hurt, because Blaine is important. Blaine is so important that Kurt doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he can’t rely on him anymore. He’s afraid to talk to him again, but he’s more scared of the idea of Blaine telling him to get lost.
It’s a mess, and Kurt feels like a zombie when he finally has to get up and get ready for work. He makes it through the day on a combination of double- and triple-shot lattes, and practised smiles, but when he gets home, he can’t even remember who was on shift with him. With an enormous sigh, he turns his phone on again. There are two more texts from Blaine, and one from Mercedes, who’s hungover and wants to know if he will go Christmas shopping with her that weekend. It’s something of a tradition for them to go on a shopping spree before she leaves to spend the holidays with her family in Chicago. Mercedes is usually frantically looking for last-minute presents for friends and family, but Kurt enjoys it nonetheless. Since Mercedes is the only person he exchanges gifts with, he can hardly buy hers during their shopping trip, so he just follows along, offering advice and dumping his change into the collecting tins they pass on the way.
He texts Mercedes back, agreeing to meet Friday afternoon, since he has the morning shift that day, and then he steels himself and looks through the texts from Blaine. They’re filled with apologies and so very Blaine-y that he feels his anger ebbing away.

- Kurt, I’m so sorry.
- I really am. I don’t know what I was thinking.
- Well, I know what I was thinking, but I had no reason to, and I’m sorry.
- I’m such an ass. No wonder you’re ignoring me.
- Oh god, I didn’t mean to call you childish. Of the two of us, it’s clear that I’m the immature one.
- This is the worst apology ever, isn’t it? I’m so sorry.
- I don’t know what to say. I’m so ashamed of myself.
- If it helps, Grandma keeps giving me the stinkeye.
- Great, now she hit me. She clearly likes you better.
- She says hi, by the way.
- I should stop pestering you. I’m sorry.

The last one is from just under an hour ago. Kurt deliberates for a while, but then finally sends back.

- Can we talk?

He feels silly for asking, but everything is raw and tender, and he misses Blaine and Grandma, even though it’s only been a day since he last saw them.
There’s no response, but after a minute or so, his phone lights up, showing Blaine’s goofy face from the selfie he took at the hospital. Kurt’s hand trembles a little as he picks up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Kurt?”
“Blaine. Hi.”
“Hey. Hi.”
There’s an awkward silence and Kurt’s heart sinks. Then Blaine continues.
“Look, Kurt. I’m really sorry for how I acted. There is no excuse for my behaviour.”
“It’s okay –”, but Blaine interrupts.
“It is NOT okay! You – you saved my brother’s life, and how do I repay you? By shouting, by accusing you of –”
“Blaine, stop!”
Blaine is quiet, but Kurt can hear his quickened breathing even through the phone. He takes a deep breath.
“I won’t deny that I hated what you did – what you said – back at the hospital. It hurt, okay?”
“I know. I’m so sorry, Kurt. I never should –”
“The point is,” Kurt continues, louder, “that I didn’t like it, but I can understand why you did it. I mean, you’d never even met me before Cooper’s accident, and suddenly he had a secret fianc� and a head injury and – and a cat! No wonder you got suspicious.”
There’s a bitter laugh at the other end.
“No wonder I got suspicious and decided to do a bad cop routine on my future brother-in-law? You don’t have to make excuses for me; I know I crossed the line.”
“Well, I forgive you, so now you can stop beating yourself up about it.”
“That’s the thing about you, though! I’ve been a complete jerk to you for no good reason, and you are just sweet and… and kind enough to let it go, just like that. I’m not used to that. People aren’t usually kind to my family unless they want something from us. I guess that’s the downside to the whole old money and prestige thing.”
Blaine gives a self-deprecating little laugh, but it’s not enough to mask the bitterness in his voice.
“I get the feeling there’s a story there,” Kurt says, in a tone he hopes conveys that he is not probing, but simply offering a sympathetic ear and maybe a shoulder to cry on.
“There’s hardly just the one story,” Blaine snorts, “but I guess you could say that there’s one in particular which really taught me how people operate.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I suppose you deserve to know why I reacted the way I did.”
“Oh, you really don’t have to tell me, I just – ”
“Kurt!” Blaine half-shouts, but he sounds half-fond, half-amused. “I want to tell you.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“When I was in pre-law, I met this guy, Sebastian. We were in the same study group and we shared some friends, so we ended up seeing a lot of each other. He was charming and funny, and really clever, too. I would pretend to struggle with something, to not understand obscure case references, just so he would help me out. I thought I must be pathetically obvious about how much I liked him, but he never teased me about it. Then, one day, he came by while I was stressing out about exams. It was finals week, and I was about ready to tear my hair out. Sebastian took one look at me, told me to breathe, and then he kissed me.
We started going out the next week. I was ridiculously happy. Sebastian was a great boyfriend, and everybody kept saying how good we were together, and how come they couldn’t find what we had. We both loved to sing, and we loved sports, so I would go to his lacrosse matches and he would cheer me on when I played football. He even got along great with my parents, which was something I’d always been nervous about. He especially bonded with my dad. Unlike me, Sebastian actually liked law, and he was forever asking my dad his opinion and advice. My dad wrote him a glowing reference letter for his Harvard application, and when he got in, my parents threw a party to celebrate. Only, Sebastian never showed, and he didn’t answer his phone, so I went to his flat to see if he was okay. I found him in bed with some model-type guy, and he just looked so annoyed that I’d interrupted them. He said that he didn’t need me anymore. He just needed the Anderson endorsement to spice up his resume, and the sex had been a nice little bonus. I cursed and cried and walked out, but just before I left, I turned around. I don’t remember why, maybe I’d thought of some scathing remark to throw in his face or maybe I just wanted to see him one last time. Anyway, he was still looking at me, and he had this expression of pity, like he felt sorry for me because I was so na�ve. And that’s when I realised he hadn’t done it out of spite; that it was simply the way he thought the world worked. I’ve never felt so dirty or used before, but he didn’t just use me; he used my family, so I decided not to let something like that happen again.
That’s why I was so suspicious.”
“You’re trying to protect your family,” Kurt whispers.
“Yeah. They’re all I have, really, and they’re very important to me.”
“I don’t blame you. Family is important.”
“Grandma told me how you visited her every day. She really loved that.”
“Oh, um. I just. She’s really sweet.”
“That she is. She’s also always right, and she told me I was an idiot, and that you’re the kind of person who would have rescued Coop even if you had been perfect strangers.”
Kurt can feel his whole face boiling. He doesn’t know what to say.
Blaine is very quiet for a while. Then he says, voice soft:
“My brother is a lucky guy, you know.”
Kurt chokes a little, but, luckily, Blaine seems to understand, because he doesn’t wait for Kurt to reply.
“Okay, enough about that. What are you doing for Christmas?”