Kurt suddenly felt panicked. He couldn't breathe. His breaths were coming in sharp gasps, and Kurt brought his hand up to his chest, squeezing hard. He couldn't breathe.

He was dead? After all of this thought of losing Blaine and living without him, living alone, forced to forget Blaine and push their memories to the back of his mind, and he was dead?

But that wasn't fair. Kurt didn't deserve this after all he had been through.

Kurt's mom reached out to touch Kurt's shoulder but Kurt backed away.

"Kurt…"

Kurt looked up at her and was surprised at the glare she was now receiving. He was angry. He didn't want to be dead. He was only 16! He had a life he was supposed to be living. He had gotten his first boyfriend for chrissakes! He'd never really been kissed until just 4 months ago, and he was supposed to be going to Broadway. He wanted to go to New York. He wanted to sing and act. He wanted to live.

"No! Get away from me!" Kurt said, backing away more.

"Kurt, wait, let me explain!"

Kurt was feeling practically hysterical now. "You don't need to explain! I get it! I just- I need some air, I need to-"

Kurt turned his head to the front door and his need to get some air amplified about a thousand times.

He looked back at his mom.

"Kurt, don't even think about it. Stay here, please let me explain…"

Kurt turned and made a run for it. He reached the door and yanked it open, sprinting towards the end of his sidewalk. Once he reached the end, he realized he had nowhere to go.

Kurt looked down the street he had grown up on. This had been his home for 16 years.

But now he was forced out of it. He didn't know if he'd ever see it again. Not after today.

Everything was about to change.

Kurt sat down on the end of the sidewalk, pulling his knees up to his chest, folded his arms, and laid them on top of his knees. His head was suddenly starting to feel really heavy.

Kurt laid it down on top of his arms.

What was even happening?

He was dead. He was really dead.

And so what? He was supposed to relive his last day on Earth? Or no… What had his mom said?

His last day with his soulmate?

Did that mean Blaine was his soulmate? Had Kurt died after their coffee shop date and Blaine survived? Did Kurt have to relive different versions of their last day together until finally, Blaine died?

Kurt couldn't help but give a slight smile at the thought.

If what his mom said was true, Blaine was his soulmate.

Soulmate was a nice thought.

But even that was temporary.

Kurt was dead. And he loved Blaine. And Blaine loved him.

And they were soulmates?

And Kurt was dead?

Kurt had to sit here knowing that he and Blaine were meant to be together and he couldn't do anything about it? What kind of afterlife was this?

Maybe this was hell. His mom had to be wrong, this was hell.

He had to watch Blaine, relive every day and none of it would be real. Kurt would know that.

He'd have to wait for Blaine to live out his days. He'd have to sit here and wait.

But if Kurt was alive, he'd have a life to spend with him. He'd have an entire lifetime with his soulmate.

He'd get to watch Blaine smile and laugh and sing to him. He'd get to watch him graduate and Blaine would do the same. Maybe they'd go to college together or near each other and then, with new marriage laws in New York, get married and happily live out their days.

But now? Blaine would be on his own. What if he met someone else? What if he was no longer Kurt's soulmate? Then what the hell was Kurt to do?

It was making Kurt very upset. His tears were pouring from his eyes and spilling onto his knees.

Screw it all. Kurt didn't want Blaine to go through any of the pain he'd gone through. If Kurt was dead, that meant Blaine had to go to the funeral. He had to spend his nights with no one to call. He had to cry himself to sleep like Kurt had done several times.

Kurt didn't want that for Blaine.

They were too young to be forced so strongly apart.

"Kurt?"

Kurt jerked his head up. His mom was staring down at him from about 2 feet away.

"Is it alright if I sit?"

Kurt could only nod slightly. He felt bad about running out earlier. But he panicked. He had panicked.

Understandable really. He was dead after all.

Kurt's mom sat down next to him and pulled her knees up to her chest as well, hugging them tightly with her arms.

"This sucks Mom."

His mom was looking forward, across the street. Their neighbor's house was similar to theirs. But it didn't look like home.

"I'm so sorry Kurt."

Kurt rested his chin back onto his crossed arms. "It's not your fault. I suppose I should blame reckless driving in America."

Kurt's mom smiled slightly. "I think I'm the only one to blame actually."

Kurt looked at her. "Wait… I'm confused… You're dead, you couldn't kill me."

Kurt's mom was still smiling. "You're not dead Kurt."

Kurt's mouth fell slightly agape.

"What?"

"You're alive Kurt."

Kurt was beyond confused now. He jumped up suddenly, causing his mom to look over at him in shock.

"How can you say that? I've been reliving my last day with my "soulmate" like you said and that can only happen when you're dead! That's why you stay here with me and dad! You're stuck here and now I'm stuck at the Lima Bean! It's not fair for you to drag me around like this! I just- I want to be alive! I don't want to be dead! I want to be with Blaine! I love him!"

Kurt's mom stood up slowly. Kurt thought she might yell back, so he stood there waiting for the yelling he knew he deserved.

But instead his mom wrapped her arms around him tightly, squeezing him as if she'd never let go.

And before Kurt could stop himself, he was crying into his mom's shoulder, his arms wrapped around her as if he could never let go either.

"I know sweetie. But you're not dead. I promise I'm not lying about this. You're very much alive. And so is Blaine."

Kurt had stopped crying, but he still wasn't letting go. He dug his face deeper into his mom's shoulder.

"I don't understand. Why am I here? What's happening? Is this even real?" Kurt practically cried, squeezing her tight.

He heard his mom sigh slowly before answering him. "I know it's confusing Kurt. I'm so sorry I put you through this."

Kurt pulled back suddenly. "What do you mean, 'put me through this'?"

Kurt's mom sighed slowly and moved her arms to Kurt's shoulders, squeezing them softly. "Oh, Kurt… I'm so sorry."

Kurt looked at his mom momentarily before he reached up slowly, taking her hands in his, and removing them from their hold on his shoulders.

His mom looked sad for a second, but she seemed to understand.

"Mom. Just tell me what you're sorry about. What did you mean by 'put me through this'?"

Kurt's mom didn't answer immediately. She observed the expression on Kurt's face, and Kurt thought that her expression began to mirror his. Her face was etched with frown lines and a greatly masked fear. Kurt knew he had the same concern on his face.

He was scared.

He didn't know what was happening.

"This, Kurt. These past 200 days. I'm sorry. But I had to."

Kurt took a step back from his mother. He didn't understand.

"I didn't want to Kurt, but I needed to be sure. I needed you to be sure."

Kurt was eyeing his mother warily at this point.

"Be sure of what exactly?"

Kurt's mom sighed. "I was scared Kurt."

"Scared of what?"

Kurt's mom looked away from Kurt, glancing in the direction of the house. Kurt followed her gaze to the window facing their kitchen. 8 year old Kurt was sitting on the counter grinning happily at his dad, laughing as his father smeared some jelly on his face. The eight year old rushed to the sink and wiped it off, scolding his father for getting some on his shirt. Burt just kept on laughing, much to the dissatisfaction of the kid in the fedora. Kurt smeared some jelly on Burt's shirt and Burt picked him up, holding him upside down to the delighted squeals of Kurt.

"I was scared you might not get all of this" she said, turning back towards Kurt with tears glistening in her eyes. "I wanted to make sure you'd be happy, that you'd be okay."

Kurt bit his lower lip slightly as he stared at his mother, evidently hesitant. "I'm sorry, I still don't quite understand."

"You got what I said about soulmates right?"

Kurt nodded.

"Your father is mine. I died and came here, to relive this day. I must admit, when I first realized I had died, I was panicked. My first thoughts were selfish. 'How will they survive without me?' I asked. 'How will they live?'"

Kurt nodded slowly. It was similar to how he'd felt. He didn't know how he'd go on. Even at eight, it felt like he was dying slowly.

"But then I realized, no matter how devastated your father was, eventually, he'd be okay. When he died, he would be reunited with me. We'd get to be together."

Kurt looked back towards the kitchen. His father was wiping the jelly off of his younger self's shirt while he stood there mercilessly giggling.

"My thoughts from there turned to a slightly less selfish sort. The instant I realized that your father would have the chance to heal and to recover, I stopped worrying about myself. I worried about him for awhile, yes. I knew he was devastated, yes. I couldn't see it, but I don't know Kurt, I can't explain it. I could feel his pain. I knew he was hurt. I knew he was hurting. But somehow it was okay. I was trapped in this space, reliving the same day, but it was okay. Because eventually, your father would join me. So yes, I knew he was devastated, but I also knew eventually things would be alright."

Kurt found himself nodding although, really, he didn't quite understand. "I guess that part makes sense. You knew dad would be okay because even though you were stuck here reliving your last day with him, you knew eventually he would join you. Who told you all of this?"

Kurt's mom simply shrugged. "You just kind of know. I can't explain it to you since you haven't really died."

Kurt couldn't help smile slightly. "That's fair I guess."

Kurt's mom smiled back.

"I guess my question is what's my role in all of this? Why am I here? You said you were sorry you put me through this, but what does that mean?"

His mother's smile fell slightly. "Please don't be mad at me Kurt."

Kurt looked at his mother's scared expression, her hesitation and concern. He almost said he wouldn't be, but then he remembered the past 200 days. More specifically, he remembered the first of those 200 days. The only day out of all of those 200 days that he honestly thought that Blaine wasn't ever coming back. The only day when he was sure that he'd never kiss or hug Blaine again.

And it had been the worst feeling in the world. Yes, he remembered his mother dying, but this had been different. This had been as if something in both his heart and soul had died. He felt he would die from the sheer pain of it all.

"I can't promise that."

Kurt's mom nodded as if she had known that would be his answer. But she continued on despite Kurt's words.

"You've heard that I knew your father would be alright. He might grieve for awhile, but in the end, we'd be reunited. Your father would survive. But you Kurt" she said, placing her hand back on his shoulder and squeezing again. "I didn't know about you. I didn't know if you would be okay. I didn't know how you'd manage to go through the day. I didn't know if, at the end of it all, you'd have someone waiting for you."

Kurt's brow furrowed slightly as his face turned into a frown. "You were worried about me being alright? But what does that mean? What does any of this have to do with that?"

"I said it was all about soulmates. I knew Burt had his, and I knew I'd be waiting for him. But you Kurt, I didn't know if you'd find yours. And I wasn't about to let my son live on his life if I didn't know he'd be okay. I needed to make sure you'd be okay."

Kurt looked at her, aghast. "You wanted to see if Blaine was my soulmate?"

Kurt's mom smiled. "Yes. As silly as it sounds, I wanted to make sure you'd have someone. I know you're young, and I know you still have a lot to learn about love, but I thought that this might be it. He might be the one."

"But I don't understand. What has all of this been? This reliving of the day Blaine died? And you did all this? I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"Yes Kurt, I did this. It took me awhile to figure out how to do it, and I'm afraid I can't explain it to you exactly how it works, but yes. I forced you to relive a day in your life over and over again. The worst day of your life."

Kurt was glad he hadn't promised to not get angry. Because he was pissed.

Kurt yanked his mom's hand off his shoulder and started backing away, more determined than before.

"You had me watch Blaine die over and over again for what? For what? So you see if maybe he's my soulmate? How on earth does that help you? And why? Why did you feel the need to fuck up my life so that you could maybe have a chance at seeing me happy when I die? Guess what mom? I'm not happy now! I'm miserable! I've watched Blaine die again and again and I couldn't do anything! I tried! I spent my nights crying myself to sleep wishing I could die too! Why did you do this to me? Why did you torture me like this? What did this prove?"

Kurt's mom swallowed and reached a hand up to wipe the solitary tear running down her cheek.

"You stayed Kurt."

"What?" Kurt spat at her.

"You stayed Kurt. You stayed with him. You really love him."

Kurt was astounded. "Of course I love him! I'm not some wishy-washy half-brained teenager who says I love you to every guy I ever meet! Blaine's special! You didn't have to put me through half a year of agony to prove that I loved Blaine!"

She stood there a moment, breathing slowly before she responded. "I had to make sure you were sure. I needed to know you loved him. I needed you to know it."

"What are you talking about? Are you insane?"

"Kurt… I don't think you understand, you stayed."

"What does that mean?"

"No one stays Kurt."

Kurt took pause. His blood was still rushing and his mind was racing and he found his breath catching in his throat.

"No one stays? Who're you talking about?"

"You're not the first one to go through this test Kurt. Did you really think you were that special?"

Kurt was surprised. His mom smiled.

"I mean, you're special to me. But you're not the first to be given this test by someone already dead. But you are the first to pass."

"To pass this test? By what, by staying?"

Kurt's mom nodded, still smiling. "I know I said all that stuff about soulmates, but I failed to mention, it's rare. It's not commonplace. People get to spend their afterlife with their soulmates, but only if they find them first. And most people don't. Most people just pass this step in the process and go on, to wherever that is. Few people get a real opportunity to wait for their soulmate. Your father and I are lucky" she said, turning back towards the house.

Burt was putting the straps on Kurt's backpack on his shoulder while Kurt was still laughing at his father's jokes.

Kurt followed his mother's gaze and watched is smaller self readjust his fedora. "But the test… I passed by staying?" His mother nodded, still not looking away. "That's it?"

His mother laughed. "You say that like it was easy for you."

"Well, it wasn't. But I thought plenty of times about breaking up with him" Kurt paused. "I even thought that killing him might break the pattern. I forgot to say I love you to him once."

Kurt's mom raised a single eyebrow, very much in the same fashion Kurt knew he was accustomed to doing. "But that wasn't on purpose Kurt, and you know it."

"I got angry though and I made him not want to say it. And I didn't say it."

"And you regretted it every day after that didn't you?"

Kurt swallowed.

"And you promised him in your head that you'd never forget to say it again didn't you?"

Kurt looked away.

"And you made him tell you that he'd never stop saying it either."

Kurt turned around, his back to his mother.

"And you stayed with him every time he died, sometimes putting your own life on the line, didn't you?"

Kurt brought a hand to his face to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

"And no matter how many times he died, you stayed with him. You sat at his bed side telling him stories about how much you loved him and how you'd never leave. No matter how many times you cried yourself to sleep or put yourself through a car crash or an explosion or surgery, you never broke up with Blaine. You never permanently left him. Not once."

"That's not true" Kurt said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I went home once."

"And then you went straight to the hospital and stayed by his side despite the fact that he was already gone. And you knew he was. You knew he was done. But you stayed Kurt. Time and time again."

"Okay, so what? Nobody else stays?"

"No."

Kurt turned back towards his mother. His eyes were still watering, but he had to admit, he didn't quite know why.

"So, what? I stayed and that means he's my soulmate? Somebody else had to have stayed. Just one other person."

"No. No one else stayed. Everybody takes the easy way out. A break up, a divorce, anything to set them free. People like to believe they're doing it for their partner. But they're not. Because…"

"Because the partner doesn't know what's going on."

Kurt's mom smiled. "Exactly. You never left because you knew it would break Blaine's heart. You stayed because you love him and because he loves you. And it was that simple to you. You didn't need other complications. You didn't try to look into why you were there so much as how you could get out. But not by yourself. You wanted out with Blaine, and that's what makes you special."

"I don't understand."

"You never looked at the situation as how do I get out, but rather, how do we get out. Blaine means the world to you. And you never forgot that."

Kurt suddenly smiled to himself. "Does that make Blaine my soulmate?"

His mother took a step towards Kurt, closing the distance Kurt had made when he became angry.

"It's quite possible. Very probable. The important thing is that you have a shot. A good shot. And there's a good chance that Blaine is your soulmate. At least, I'm satisfied enough with the results."

Kurt laughed, more as a reflex then actually knowing how to react. "The results? So I passed your test?"

This time, his mom laughed. "If you'd like it to seem as simple as that. Yes, you passed."

"But you still don't know if Blaine is my soulmate or whatever?"

"No, I don't. But you've showed me that he has a good chance of being yours. And if he's not? You've shown me that you have enough love in your heart, and you're caring enough, that you will find someone. That way, when you do die, I'll be comforted to know you won't be going on alone."

"And you don't know where that is? Going 'on'"

"Sorry my dear. That's a mystery to us all."

Kurt smiled at her. "Is this all in my head?"

"You're not crazy."

"But it could still be all in my head."

"I promise you, it's not."

"But this is insane" Kurt said, laughing. "How often does this happen?"

"More often than you might think."

Kurt paused. "But what now? I go back and live on knowing I could be with Blaine forever?"

It actually didn't sound that bad to Kurt.

Kurt's mother smiled why shaking her head. "Of course not."

Kurt was a bit taken aback. "But you said I wasn't dead. And Blaine's not dead is he?"

"Not at all."

"Then I don't understand."

"You say that quite a lot you know."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked at her exasperatedly.

"Okay, sorry."

"Please explain it to me."

Kurt's mother sat down on the edge of the sidewalk once again. Kurt sat down next to her and put his arm around her, squeezing her in a sort of sideways hug.

"You do get to go back Kurt, but you won't remember any of this."

"Then what was the point?"

"Purely selfish I have to admit. Your father is likely to die before you, and then we shall go on. I'd have no idea if you'd be alright. This test was my way of finding out if you'd be alright. And now that I know, you can go back and live your life. Live it with Blaine or without, either way, I think you'll end up okay. After all, you're a Hummel. And we Hummels pride ourselves on being very resilient."

Kurt smiled at her comforting words, the tears in his eyes gathering once again.

"It's been hard without you mom. Not all the kids at school are understanding."

This time, it was his mother who wrapped her arms around Kurt, pulling him towards her in a tight hug.

"I know sweetie, and I'm so so sorry. I wish I could've been there when you told your father and I wish I was there to watch you sing for Glee Club and I wish I was there to give you advice on your first boyfriend. I know it's been hard on you and your father, but he really is trying so hard."

"Yeah, I know he is. He's doing a great job, but we both miss you sometimes."

"I miss you two more than you can ever know. But your father's got Carole," Kurt looked up at her suddenly, surprised. "Yes, Kurt. I know about Carole. And it's fine. I'm glad he's not lonely anymore. Plus with that, you get a brother. And you have a boyfriend. You have a lot of people who love you."

Kurt smiled at her, finding it hard to keep his tears back any longer.

"But I miss you so much Mom. I think about you every day. I wish you hadn't died."

Kurt's mom paused for a second, giving Kurt a gentle squeeze.

"I wish I hadn't died either. But in the end, I think it'll all work out. We'll all be okay."

Kurt nodded, laying his head on his mother's shoulder.

"What happens now?"

"Now you go back."

"To the coffee shop?"

"Yes. But this time, Blaine doesn't die. This time, you go on with your lives. Whatever path you take is your choice."

"But I won't remember any of this?"

"Afraid not. That's not the deal. You've put my worries to rest, and now, now you can just be with your boyfriend, soulmate or not. I'm sure you two will have a great time together" she added with a wink.

Kurt blushed. "So you like him?"

Kurt's mom planted a kiss on the top of his head. "He's perfect for you. I couldn't be happier for you."

Kurt smiled at that and gave his mother a tight hug in return.

And suddenly, he was sobbing.

"I don't want to forget you Mom, I just got to see you again. I don't want to lose you for a second time."

His mom pulled him even closer, squeezing him as tightly as possible. She was crying too. "I know sweetie, but you won't remember this, you'll forget and go on as you were."

"But I don't want to! It's not fair."

"Life's rather unfair darling, but if you stay here with me, you leave Blaine. And your father. And your friends."

Kurt squeezed his mother as if he'd never let go.

"I love you so much Mom. I love you so much. I'm sorry I got angry about all of this. I was just scared. I was scared I was losing the first guy I've ever really loved and, I'm sorry I yelled."

"I love you too Kurt" she responded, ignoring his apologies, letting Kurt know that she never really blamed him at all.

Kurt swallowed and buried his face in his mother's shoulder, remembering how her perfume smelled and how no matter how sad he was or how many people had shouted insults at him or bullied him, she could always make him feel better.

"Are you ready to go back?"

Kurt pulled away from his mother, no longer crying, but his face was far from dry.

"I think so."

His mom smiled at him for the last time.

"You're ready. And you are going to have a great life Kurt. I can't wait for you to experience it all."

Kurt smiled at her. "You really think so?"

His mom laughed and raised her hand, her pointer finger outstretched; tapping him on the nose one time as she had done so many times when he was a boy.

"I know so."

And everything went white.

"It sounds like New York was amazing Kurt, I'm so glad you got to go."

Kurt looked up at Blaine.

"It was amazing! I got to go to a Broadway stage and sing my heart out, I had Breakfast at Tiffany's and I got to compete at Nationals! Granted, Rachel and Finn may have ruined it for everyone, but that's alright."

"You really don't care that you lost?"

Kurt smiled at Blaine. "Of course not. I got to go to the greatest city on earth. I got to live the dream. It was incredible."

Blaine smiled and nodded at Kurt's words. "Even though you lost."

Kurt laughed and leaned forward, punching Blaine in the arm slightly. "Would you stop saying that? There are more important things than winning."

Blaine simply smiled. "If you say so."

Kurt couldn't help but smile too. At the beginning of this year, Kurt would have said nothing of the sort. He would have fought Rachel for every solo and he would be beyond pissed off that she and Finn lost them Nationals. He would have jumped straight to Jesse's side, relentlessly yelling at them as well. At the hotel, he would have been screaming alongside Santana, because at the beginning of this year, winning was the only thing that mattered to Kurt.

"What're you thinking about?" Blaine asked Kurt, smiling as he took his hand.

Kurt bit his lip as the corners of his mouth curled up. "Kurt Hummel has had a pretty good year."

Despite all of the bullying, the threats, the rejection from his classmates, a mid-year transfer, his father getting re-married, losing Nationals on one team and Regionals on another, despite it all, Kurt was happy. He had Blaine.

And for some reason, Kurt couldn't say why, that was all he needed.

Blaine made him happy. Blaine made him brave. He gave him courage. Kurt didn't care about going to school and facing the slushies, because he knew when he got out, Blaine would be waiting in his car for Kurt.

For the first time ever, Kurt got the strong sense that his future would be better than his past. His future looked so very bright. And he was actually looking forward to it.

All because of Blaine.

Blaine had taken his life at the very edge and turned it around, made him look up. Kurt found himself actively seeking a future.

And it was a change he liked.

"Kurt?"

Kurt pulled his head out of his thoughts and looked to Blaine. "Blaine?"

"I love you."

Kurt suddenly got a strange sensation in his gut. A very strong sense of déjà vu. But it was more than that. This had happened before. This was real. Blaine was saying I love you.

But why did Kurt feel like it wasn't the first time?

He looked at Blaine's face, observing Kurt's and trying to gauge a reaction.

Kurt saw the courage Blaine had taken to say those three words and his subtle yet present fear that Kurt's feelings might not be returned.

He saw that Blaine meant those words through and through.

Kurt shook off the nagging sensation that this had happened already and stood up out of his seat, leaned forward, and kissed Blaine, tasting every bit of medium drip that had been there just moments ago.

Kurt released Blaine, leaned back and fell down in his seat.

Blaine sat across from him, his mouth slightly agape and his face wearing a very strong expression of shock.

Kurt smirked at the surprise he placed on his boyfriend and raised his eyebrows in a very confident manner.

Blaine's face slowly changed from shock to a face of bemusement.

Kurt just grinned.

"I love you too."