2015, still

"Sorry for leaving so abruptly. I talked with Mrs. Julio about it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not sad anymore, but I'm angry.

But also at myself.

I was so stupid, Lolo. I really did love Kurt, and because of that I ignored all the flaws in my behaviour and in our relationship. Remember when we first broke up? I was devastated, and I had the right to be. I wanted to fix things between the two of us, since I screwed up.

But I had this perfect picture in my head. I shouldn't have done that.

I couldn't function without Kurt, Lolo, which wasn't very healthy. I was so sick with love that I chose to ignore that. I kept telling everyone that Kurt and I were meant to be, and I believed that was true. I listened to the wrong people. Jan was wrong. I only thought she was right because I thought she was older and more experienced. And she's gay.

I shouldn't just listen to everyone without a second thought. I tend to believe things too quickly, Logan. Or I want to believe things too quickly.

People always said that we were KurtandBlaine, and now that we're broken up, we're Kurt and Blaine instead. They said that after the first break-up, and I'm pretty sure they're doing it again. But they're wrong. We've always been Kurt and Blaine, not KurtandBlaine. They never got it. Neither did I, because I was in love. I always thought Kurt was supposed to make me feel whole, but that's wrong.

You know how much I crave affection. You know how much I want to be loved. And being loved is good, unless it is bad for you.

In a way, I'm happy he broke up with me. Now I understand that our relationship wasn't good for me. And for him. I couldn't fix it, but I was too caught up in trying to fix it to realise that. I need to move on, Logan.

I am Blaine Devon Anderson. I can be Blaine Anderson without a certain Kurt Hummel in my life."