2012, still

"So, this week has been emotionally heavy. That's the only way I can describe it. After the entire Chandler thing, Kurt and I had a serious talk with Ms. Pillsbury. I told him that I was being distant because I couldn't handle the fact that he's leaving, and that I'm going to be alone.

Because of that, I guess I didn't realise that I was putting Kurt in the position I was dreading. Because of my actions, Kurt started feeling alone and left behind. That's why he started texting Chandler. He craved love.

As someone who does that all the time, I'm in no position to judge Kurt anymore. I got so angry when I found out about Chandler, that I didn't realise it was all my fault. If I were in his shoes, I probably would've done the same thing.

Gosh, maybe even with Sebastian. I haven't texted him in ages.

Anyway, after school, we went to my place, since my parents aren't home anyway, and we talked.

- What about Wes? He left too and you two are still talking.

- That's different.

- How?

- I don't love him like I love you.

Wes said something similar to that. He told me to get over myself. He's always there to give me the slap in the face I need.

But frankly, I'm pretty lonely. Ever since the slushie incident, there's tension between me and the Warblers. I know they ended up joining the New Directions and turned their backs to Sebastian, but really? They did this too. I even know Sebastian turned over a new leaf, but I don't need to see him.

And the New Directions… I made great friends and Finn is nice to me now, but I still don't feel at ease. Everyone's saying goodbye to the seniors. Sure, the guys have included me in their group, especially now that Puck is struggling, but I don't know…"