2011, still

"I kissed a girl.

And I liked it."

At moments like this, his growing love for Katy Perry is appropriate.

"Okay, that's not correct, since after all of this, I'm pretty sure I'm gay. You need the full story to understand. I had a lot of drinks, which is possible since I'm kinda off meds?

Don't tell Wes!

Anyway, I got drunk and I kissed one of Kurt's friends. Her name is Rachel. I even went out on a date with her, to Kurt's distress. And, gosh, Kurt was mad. I'm still mad at him for the biphobic things he said, but we'll talk about that. I'm not bi, but really?

Well, I went out with her and it was nice, but then I kissed her again. Sober. Kissing is always nice, but I didn't feel a spark or anything. I didn't feel anything. I really don't like girls.

I'm telling you this because I do think it is important. It is important to me. I'm not bi, but it was a possibility you cannot just ignore. And also, for a split second I saw my life with a girlfriend. Not necessarily Rachel, but a girl.

I mean, I had my first kiss this week, Logan, and it was with a girl. I never expected that.

Can you imagine that?

If I would've dated a girl, would you be lying here? Probably not.

It sends shivers down my spine. You have no idea how much I miss you, but me being with a girl would be acting. But would I sacrifice my identity to keep you alive?

… I need to stop talking. This conversation isn't good for me. I just miss you a lot."