November 9th 2010

[someone is adjusting the camera] Oh, woops! [the one behind the camera finally steadies it and a boy appears on screen] Hello! [small awkward wave] Uh, hi. My name is Blaine and this is my very first vlog. You might wonder why Im doing it, but honestly [laughs] its because I lost a bet to my friends.

They gave me a week the time to decide on a topic and to start a channel, can you believe it? [suddenly his face goes serious] But really, even though this is a joke, I promise I will take this seriously. Ive- uh, Ive been thinking a lot about the topic and I am here to help. [looks away]

Im not gonna lie, my life hasnt been that easy [looks sad] Im currently boarding at his school for my own safety. I have, uh, several problems and phobias and well… I wouldve given everything for help when I was younger, but I never got it.

[looks back] So thats why Im here! I hope that my videos will help others and will inspire others to help [grins]. How? I dont know yet and I dont think this channel will be 100% self-help. I mean, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one will be released within a couple of days. [excited]

And, well… [trails off] I just want you to know that Ill be there for you. Courage.

[mock salute] Blaine Warbler, signing off.

February 1st 2014

Four walls.

One "cube" consisting his small private bathroom and kitchen.

A wooden door.

This will be Blaine Andersons life for the following four years.

Lets make the best of it.

Easier said than done, Blaine thinks bitterly as he finishes unpacking. He looks around. The room isnt that bad. Its not like he hasnt lived on a campus before- he went to a freaking boarding school. But still, it is scary.

The fact that hes in New York- at NYU- isnt even helping. When he looks outside and sees the city, the only thing he can think about is the amount of strangers outside. Hell, the amount of strangers in this building is already scary.

Hes lucky he has his own bathroom and kitchen –although its the question if hell use the latter- so he doesnt need to leave the room. The fact that he is a "fall student" also helps. The so called fall students dont have lavish introduction days, like the "summer students", the ones that start in September.

He checks his room again.

If he opens the door, hell see his cube directly on his right and therefore he has a small "hallway". Pushed in the left corner at the end of his room is his bed. His desk with his camera is hidden in the right corner, because the cube is in sight. Only if you enter the room, youll see his desk, his couch and bookshelf. But then again, who will ever see this room since he wont have any people over.

Of course, there are also some chests and other necessaries. And decorations! A lot of decorations and posters.

He sits back on his couch and closes his eyes, trying to calm down.

You chose this, you chose this! You couldve stayed in Lima or you couldve gone to an apartment far away from campus, but no, you chose a dorm! You could afford a fucking apartment. Your parents are loaded and you make money of you fucking videos. WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID!? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

He keeps on breathing hard, so he uses one of his tricks to calm him down.

Draco and Harry are definitely married to each other in an alternate universe, Draco and Harry are definitely married to each other in an alternate universe, Draco and Harry…

He keeps continuing till hes finally calmed down enough to get up. When he does, his eyes fall on his camera. Its an expensive one. His fans –his fans- raised money to buy it for him- for him. He feels bad that he stopped using it, but his sub-consciousness told him to take it with him to college.

He picks it up and remembers the last couple of months. A couple of weeks before his graduation and after his eighteenth birthday, he stopped making videos. Not because he didnt like it, but because it felt too much. His anxiety got too much.

He posted a super long post about it on his blog (which he still uses) and he said his goodbyes.

Now looking at his camera again, he realizes how much he has helped people around him and even though he still hates himself for it, without it, he wouldnt have been in New York, the city of his dreams.

For a minute, he hesitates, but then he decides to do it.

February 1st 2014

[small wave in his own way, aka his "Blaine-wave"] Hey guys, Warble on! [laughs apologetic] So, it has been almost one year since I disappeared- in fact, Ill be nineteen this Wednesday.

You are probably wondering what Im doing. I left, I know, but now Im back. As you may have noticed, Im not in my room. Well, technically I am. I just moved into my dorm and I know this is completely random, but I am back.

[smiles] I missed you. The last couple of months have been good- maybe youve followed my blog? Im good, I am. Same fears, obviously, but I am out of Lima, which is a huge achievement. Remember when I talked about dreams once, all the way back in 2010? [laughs at memory] I was so afraid. I mean, I still am! I have to cook for myself, you guys, do you know how terrifying that is? Theres fire and knives and… [shivers at the thought] But Ill manage. Im sure of it.

Since Im in college now, I dont know what will happen. I dont know if I can go back to the old schedule- a self-help video on Wednesday and a fandom related thing on Saturday- but I dont think Ill be leaving again.

[hand through his hair] Oh yeah, Ive forgotten I look homeless. Youre probably used to boarding-school me, the one whos cleanly shaved, the one without the glasses and the one with the gelled back hair. [grins] About that… [weird face] I havent, uh, found my new places to go yet. I dont know if I will anytime soon. Its all new and, uh, there will be strangers everywhere. [really nervous] I- I dont think I can do that. Not yet!

[looks apologetic, again] Like I said; same old fears and phobias. Ive been working on them, but since Im in a new environment, Ill have to start adjusting again. Looks like Ill be living of ready meals [laughs, even though it isnt funny at all].

Anyway, thats it for today. I know its a Saturday, but I just unpacked! Recap: Im back and Im sorry I left in the first place, but Im not leaving anytime soon.

[mock salute] Blaine Warbler Anderson, signing off!

February 5th 2014

Hes nineteen. Hes been an adult for a year. His fans, who were very happy with his return, are spamming tumblr with gifsets about him. He used to feel self-consciousness about seeing himself on his dash on a daily basis, but hes overcome that. At least one thing has progressed in the past four years.

He looks at his smiling self from 2011. He was so young.

His friends have left countless messages too, which relieved him. After graduation, his friends went to their colleges and contact started to waver. Blaine started to wonder if they really liked him, or if they were just pretending to like him.

But he has overcome that too. On some days, the doubt lingers in the back of his mind, but not today. Now hes reading all the messages and hes actually smiling. Its his first smile in days.

He quickly shoots a video of himself thanking everyone for the birthday wishes, instead of his usual self-help Wednesday videos and goes to class.

On his way to class, he doesnt bother anyone.

During class, he doesnt bother anyone.

On his way back home, he doesnt bother anyone.

At home, he doesnt bother anyone.

He studies, he reads, he blogs. He attempts to cook (at least he tries) and he does his daily ritual. He goes to bed, he wakes up and when he goes to class later that day, he doesnt bother anyone.

March 1st 2014

Hes been at the dorms for an entire month. He knows how it works by now.

For example, there is this (very bare) common room. Every floor has one. A lot of students use it to study together or to hang out. Sometimes, they throw a small party and on occasions, the students of the floor eat together.

The students of the floor are one big family, they say. Well, then Blaine is the awkward, forgotten cousin no one talks about.

Blaine doesnt mind. Its not like he wants to talk to those people, because they probably dont want to talk to him. In their eyes, hes a recluse. He never leaves his room for more than a couple of hours; when he needs to go to class or when he goes to his job.

Its okay, because by doing that, Blaines sure he doesnt bother anyone.

March 10th 2014

When Blaine returns from class, he can hear that the students of the floor are on a roll. As he opens the door that leads to his floor (the second), he can see everyone cheering and dancing. Someones singing.

Before Blaine slips into his room, he sees whats causing all this. Or, who.

Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones.

Everyone knows them. Theyre the most popular people on this floor. They both study something that involves music. Hes not sure what, but Blaine wont ask.

As he shuts the door, he leans against it so that he can hear them sing. Theyre singing Madonnas Four Minutes and they sound amazing. Blaine allows himself to enjoy the music. Normally, he tries to stay away from everything the students of the floor do, but somethings different when it comes to Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones.

For a minute, he considers going outside to get a closer look, but then he panics. People will see him then and they probably try to talk to him. He can already feel his heart beating fast.

He knows what they look like. In fact- they share the double room next to his. He sometimes can hear them sing.

Theres just something about Kurt and Mercedes.

While the other students of the floor seem scary (they probably arent, but Blaines scared of them nonetheless), they seem almost inviting.

Suddenly he knows how he can get a glimpse of them without looking creepy. He quickly gathers his study books and puts them in his messagers back. He grabs his keys and opens his door. He was right, everyones in full swing.

When Blaine opens his door, some students notice, but no one cares. Why would they when they have Kurt and Mercedes to look to? He closes the door, watches them for a couple more seconds and leaves. Off to the library where he works.

He doesnt notice Kurt Hummel watching him leave.

March 15th 2014

["Blaine-wave"] Hey guys, Warble on! Happy Saturday! If this Saturday isnt that happy, remember that my ask box is always open. Links in the description.

So, for todays Saturday Show, Id like to talk about music. This is going to sound really, really weird, but a couple of days ago, something happened at my dorm building.

Due privacy, I wont say much, but Id like to applaud two people from my floor! You two totally rock- [someone knocks on the door]. Oh, hang on. [confused] Someone actually knocked on my door.

[new shot] So, one of the people I was just talking about actually came over to ask me if I had any salt? I- why would he do that?

Anyway, like I was saying…