June 18, 2022, 4:44 p.m.
Myosotis series
Myosotis sylvatica: Lecture
T - Words: 5,576 - Last Updated: Jun 18, 2022 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jun 18, 2022 - Updated: Jun 18, 2022 288 0 0 0 0 Warnings (Story): Past canonical character death (Finn). See chapters for additional warnings.
Woah, we're halfway there!
“How is Lima?”
Kurt rolls his eyes dramatically and Blaine laughs. Since 2027 phone camera’s are incredibly advanced, Blaine can easily see the annoyance on Kurt’s face during their video call.
“Glad to see that you still dislike it.”
“Oh my sweet, no memory loss can make me love Lima, Ohio,” Kurt says jokingly, but then he sees Blaine’s face.
He’s done it again.
Blaine quickly recovers from his shock and he puts a smile on his face. “I can imagine. I always say that Columbus is a dump, but Lima is definitely a dump.”
Blaine’s giving Kurt a way out, and it’s very tempting to continue as if nothing has happened, but after his talk with his dad this morning, he wants to talk about it. Kurt just wonders if Blaine wants to talk about it.
After Blaine’s meltdown, Kurt knows that Blaine often automatically puts his own needs aside for Kurt.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“Blaine.”
Blaine looks away and Kurt can hear his breathing speeding up. Kurt waits and listens, but Blaine manages to calm down on his own. It’s a big step already. Blaine still tries to push it away, but he’s now considering to talk.
“You called me ‘my sweet’,” Blaine says.
“Did I?” Kurt can’t even remember it. If he did, then he didn’t think of it. Again.
“You know how I used to call you ‘love’?” Blaine asks and Kurt nods. Blaine did do that, but he stopped doing it because it overwhelmed Kurt to hear that simple confession of love every damn time. “Well, your sappy pet name for me is ‘my sweet’, or ‘sweetness’.”
“That is indeed sappy,” Kurt says, but he can’t help but grin. He quite likes that Kurt and Blaine are that sappy couple who call each other cutesy names.
Blaine’s face softens when he sees Kurt’s grin. “Yes, it is and we love it. I didn’t think I’d hear it again any time soon.”
“Well, now that I know, I can call you that again.”
“I’d like that,” Blaine says and to Kurt’s amusement, Blaine blushes.
“Good,” Kurt says and with that, he decides it’s time to end this conversation topic. There’s much more to say, but right now, he just wants to video call with his boyfriend (fiancé?) in peace. “Oh God, Blaine, my dad told me that Breadstix has expanded!”
On his last day in Lima, Kurt decides to go out. Thanksgiving break has been great and it’s filled with amazing food, but the shallowness does not completely go away.
So on his last day, Kurt excuses himself and his dad and Carole give him space.
He walks around to clear his head. He’s lost in his thoughts and he doesn’t pay attention to where he’s going. He can’t stop thinking about the past few days. Truly, it was lovely to see his dad and Carole, but he so desperately wants to go back to New York.
He wants to go back to Blaine.
Besides, he’ll see his dad and Carole soon enough. They’re planning on celebrating Christmas in New York. Lima is just too unfamiliar right now. He’s slowly gotten used to the futuristic New York, but that took weeks and he’s still not entirely comfortable, but with Lima, he is back at the start.
At one point, Kurt decides to go back, but when he looks around, he realises he’s terribly lost. Since he wanted to go rogue, he can’t look up his way back home. Besides, he won’t be able to pay for a bus ticket if necessary, since his Springo is also at the condo.
He tries to trace his route, but he keeps getting more lost.
Oh fuck this.
Kurt walks around aimlessly, hoping to find some point of recognition, but there’s nothing. At moments like this, he wishes he could trigger his small memories to come up, but he can’t.
He ends up at a small park in a suburb. He can’t remember if this is his dad and Carole’s suburb or not. Kurt sits down on a park bench and he tries to think.
Focus, Kurt, you can do this.
“Kurt?”
Kurt doesn’t really register the voice, so he almost falls of the bench at the idea of anyone recognising him in a suburb in Lima.
Sebastian looks quite happy to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” Kurt says back. Shouldn’t Sebastian be in Westerville with his family and Adam?
“My aunt lives on this block and I was confused to see you here, so I decided to check on you.”
“Have you always been this kind?”
Sebastian laughs. “No.”
“That’s fair. To answer your question: I decided to go for a walk and I got lost on the way home and before you tell me to look up the route, I am going rogue. I maybe shouldn’t have done that.”
“I can look it up for you and walk you home.”
Kurt looks up in shock. “You’d do that for me?”
“Well, my aunt doesn’t have a printer anymore, since paper has become kind of outdated, so I can’t print directions for you. Also, I fucking hate my uncle. People are still racist in the fine age of 2027. Adam is currently giving him a lecture on racial equality, so we’ll have time. Do you know the address?”
Sebastian takes his phone out of his pocket and he opens a navigation app.
“Uhm.”
“Oh my God. Fuck this, I’m texting Blaine for the address.”
“This is my first time in this certain area.”
“No shit,” Sebastian says and his phone pings. Blaine must’ve replied. “Your man is too damn good for this world. Let’s go.”
Kurt gladly follows Sebastian, since he is so incredibly lost.
“How is Blaine, by the way?”
“Good. Why’d you ask?”
Sebastian looks sad. “I know he’s had a meltdown a while ago. He hasn’t told me, but Wes has, and I can’t help but worry.”
“Why wouldn’t he tell you those things? Aren’t you great friends?”
“We weren’t always.”
Kurt has gotten the hint. The others talk about it in passing several times. Blaine has told him and he went to high school with Sebastian and that it was not nice.
“Knowing Blaine, he’s probably hating himself for something and he feels like he should hide his true thoughts and feelings to accommodate others. He doesn’t care that it’s destroying him.”
“That’s… eerily accurate,” Kurt says uncomfortably, “How would you know?”
“I may or may not have contributed to that mindset,” Sebastian says and he looks deeply ashamed, “To the left here.”
They turn the corner and Kurt asks: “What happened between you two?”
Sebastian doesn’t answer for a while. The two of them walk back to the condo and Kurt gives Sebastian space to find the words.
“I just want you to know that I am a different person, okay?” he eventually says, “What I did was gross and I can blame bad parenting for it, but that doesn’t make it okay in any way.”
“Okay,” Kurt says. He only knows Sebastian in 2027, so it might be fine. He can’t imagine Sebastian as anyone else.
“Blaine and I went to high school together. Blaine was in love with me.”
Kurt stops in his tracks. “He- what?”
“And I liked him back, but I was not in love with him,” Sebastian says. He continues walking, so Kurt catches up.
“Wait, wait, wait. I dated Adam and I am dating Blaine. You’re dating Adam and you were into Blaine. Blaine is dating me and he was in love with you. What are we?”
“You’ve always compared the four of us to your incestuous glee club. Adam has probably told you that our friendship is based on mutual trust and respect. All the past feelings are long gone, Kurt, but that is not the point. The point is that Blaine was heads over heels in love with me and I liked that. I liked the attention and the worship, but it wasn’t enough. Blaine wasn’t enough.”
Kurt can’t imagine Blaine not being enough to anyone. Blaine is kind, compassionate, passionate and very lovely. Kurt’s only been dating him for a while, but he’s incredibly happy.
“I liked Blaine, but I only liked the idea of him. My ideal version of Blaine.”
“Did you try to change him?”
“I didn’t try,” Sebastian sounds remorseful, “I made it happen.”
“Didn’t Blaine protest?”
“What do you think?”
Kurt thinks back on Blaine pushing his own feelings aside for the sake of Kurt’s happiness, and his stomach falls. “Sebastian, what the fuck.”
“The real Blaine is incredibly kind and amazing, but I didn’t want that. That’s not what love was to me. Again, there are no excuses, so I’m not gonna cry about my rough childhood, but when I grew up, that’s what I watched my father do to my mother and I guess… I just accepted that as the truth.”
For the first time in a very long time, Kurt feels disgusted. He instinctively steps away from Sebastian.
“Did you make Blaine hate who he really is?” Kurt asks sternly.
“He claims that it’s not true, but I disagree. I don’t know the full story from his side, Kurt. We broke up after graduation and I left for a prestigious university in France. I thought Blaine was holding me back, but in reality, I was holding him back,” Sebastian says bitterly. At least, Sebastian sounds as disgusted as Kurt.
“You definitely were.”
“While in France, my mother filed for divorce. That’s when things started falling into place for me. I cut off all contact with my father and he stopped paying my tuition, so I dropped out of university. Ah, daddy issues. At least Blaine and I still have that in common. I lived in France, travelled a lot, and I met loads of people. Nice people. I moved to New York to study PR and communications and I met Adam. I was so afraid I’d mess up again, but oh God, Adam is not shitting around.
Six years ago, I ran into Wes on the subway. Wes was not happy to see me, let me tell you that. To be quite honest, I think Wes hates me to this day. He just tolerates me. He told me Blaine has moved to the city and I asked to see him to apologise. To my utter shock, Blaine accepted the apology. Not only that, but he’s given me a second chance.”
“He really is too good for this world,” Kurt says knowingly.
“He keeps telling me that it’s not my fault, but come on, Kurt, that is fucking bullshit.”
“It is.”
“I admit that I started helping Blaine out due to my own guilt, but we became friends. I actually got to know Blaine and I didn’t try to change him. I wouldn’t want to. We gotta cross the road here.”
They stop at the pedestrian traffic light. Kurt is pretty sure he never had to cross a busy road on his way to the park, but Sebastian must’ve found a faster route. Or his phone must’ve recommended a faster route.
“Even though my own guilt isn’t my main motive anymore, I will do everything for Blaine just to make up for a bit of it. I don’t think I can ever fix what I’ve done, no matter how many times Blaine tries to tell me otherwise. He opened up his heart to me, and I destroyed him. No wonder he has trust and self-esteem issues.”
The light turns green and they cross the road. Then they go around another corner and Kurt slowly starts to recognise this area as his dad’s suburb.
Kurt stops Sebastian from walking for a moment and he puts his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.
“I hope you can understand that this has changed my views on you,” Kurt tells Sebastian, “Blaine might be too kind for this world, but I am not. I believe you are a better person, but this is a lot to take in and I’m angry at you for it.”
Sebastian nods. “I understand. I would be quite surprised if things would’ve stayed the same between us.”
“Glad to hear we’re on the same page.”
The two of them continue their walk and after a while, Kurt finally sees his dad and Carole’s condo. He thanks Sebastian for walking him ‘home’.
“You’re welcome,” Sebastian does a mock salute, “It was nice, you know? You not knowing about our crap past, since you definitely disliked me as well, but you deserve to know at least something. I hope you realise it’s not your fault that Blaine has problems opening up or trusting you. It’s mine.”
“Even though he disagrees?”
“Even though he disagrees. Happy belated Thanksgiving, Kurt.”
The next day, Blaine’s waiting for Kurt at the airport. It’s like a romantic movie scene. Kurt runs towards Blaine, dropping his suitcase with a loud thud on the floor, and he jumps in Blaine’s arms.
“Woah, hi, hello!” Blaine says as he tries to steady himself.
“I’ve missed you,” Kurt leans in to kiss Blaine, “I don’t think we spend that much time apart, do we?”
Blaine laughs. “Yeah, this was torture. But you’re home now.”
Yes, Kurt thinks to himself, Yes, he is.
Ooooh, livin' on a prayer!