Blaine is not fine.

He is far from fine. He has problems holding his phone because his hands are shaking so much. He balls his free hand into a fist, just to make it stop shaking that much. He’s pacing around the hospital hallway, waiting for Wes to pick up the fucking phone.

The nurses told him that Kurt has a huge case of amnesia. They’re still asking Kurt questions, but one nurse slipped out of the room to let Blaine know that it does not look good. Soon, Blaine will go into that room as well and he will look at the face of his boyfriend who will not remember him.

How will Blaine be able to look at Kurt whilst knowing that?

The call goes to voicemail again, so Blaine angrily yells: “Mimi, call Wes Montgomery again!”

Some people shoot angry looks, but his AI happily obliges. His AI doesn’t have feelings and for once, Blaine sympathises with his good old Mimi.

Finally, Wes picks up.

“Sup Blainers.”

Usually, Blaine would scoff at his friend using that old nickname from high school, but right now he’s too stressed to do it. Instead he blurts out: “Cancel tomorrow’s work appointment. It’s an emergency.”

The tone of Blaine’s voice must’ve made it clear. Blaine doesn’t often cancel appointments, but when he does, Wes tries to find a way to make him show up anyway. Now, Wes immediately says: “I’m texting Sebastian already. Wanna tell me what is going on?”

What is going on? Blaine barely even fucking understands it as well. He’s just so fed up. So angry at the world. Why the hell did this have to happen to him?

Blaine stops pacing, since his breathing is speeding up. This is just so ridiculous. Wes will never fucking believe it.

“In. Out,” Wes starts, “In. Out. One, two, three. Whatever it is, you’re stressing, dude.”

With the help of Wes, Blaine starts to calm down a bit. Then again, how calm can you be when you find out that the love of your life doesn’t know you?

“Are you home? Do I need to come over? Where is Kurt?”

In. Out. One, two, three.

“We’re at the hospital. Kurt’s- well, fuck, Wes, you’re never gonna fucking believe it!” Blaine says hysterically, as if he’s on the brink of a meltdown. Well, he probably is.

“Blaine, you’re getting agitated. Calm down for a bit and then tell me why you’re in the hospital.”

Damn, Wes always knows what to say. He should’ve become a therapist, not an entertainment lawyer.

“Basically, Kurt’s lost his memories. I found him lying on the kitchen ground and when he didn’t recognise me, I got worried. Wes, Kurt… I knew something was wrong the moment it became clear that he doesn’t know his brother is dead.”

“Ouch.” Ouch is an understatement, but Blaine knows that Wes understands how serious it is. Wes lost his sister when he was young.

“They – fuck, sorry – they haven’t told me how much he’s lost, but if he doesn’t remember his brother dying it’s not gonna be good. He’s- he doesn’t…” Blaine trails off. He knows what is means, but saying it out loud would make it more real.

Wes is smart enough to fill in the blanks: Kurt doesn’t remember Blaine. Kurt and Blaine met four years after Finn’s death.

“It’s okay, Blaine, just… just talk to me. What is it?”

Blaine is angry. That’s it. He is just fucking fed up with the absurdity of this situation, but he shouldn’t speak. He’s not the one who lost at least fourteen years of memories. Kurt’s the one with a possible fucking brain injury. The nurses have reassured Blaine that there seems nothing wrong, but Blaine has to stop himself from snapping at them.

If there’s nothing wrong, then why the hell did his memories disappear?

But he doesn’t tell Wes all of that. Instead he just mutters: “Life sucks.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Wes sounds solemn.

“What the fuck will Kurt think if he could see me now?” Blaine laughs bitterly. He’s on the brink of an epic meltdown in the middle of this hallway.

“He loves you,” Wes says and Blaine snorts.

“Does he? He apparently doesn’t even know me!”

“Then let him know you.”

The words hit hard. Wes is right, of course, but Blaine’s changed a lot in the past few years and it was not always pretty.

“I-I’m not sure if I want that, Wes.”

The two of them stay on the line for a while. They don’t talk much, since there’s not much to say, but it’s nice to know that Wes is there. Normally, Blaine shares his thoughts and burdens with Kurt, but Kurt probably doesn’t know him.

Scratch probably.

Kurt definitely doesn’t know him.

After a while, the doctor comes up to talk to him about a possible MRI if the memories do not resurface after one week, and then he follows her into the room. Time to face the music.

To Blaine’s utter surprise, life goes on. He wakes up, he has breakfast with Kurt, he works on some music or keeps Kurt company, he eats, he goes to sleep with Kurt next to him.

It’s all so normal.

Except it isn’t. Blaine tries to be strong for Kurt, since he’s the one who has to navigate through this unfamiliar world, but when Kurt’s not looking, Blaine just wants to cry. And oh, he does. He cries in the shower. He cries when he slips back to the office. He cries because he’s sad that he has to watch the love of his life go through this, but mostly, he’s so angry.

It’s just a difficult week. The littlest things hit the most. It breaks Blaine’s heart to see how Kurt’s faces falls when he catches his reflection in a mirror or window. It’s terrible to watch Kurt cook, since he’s even forgotten the smallest, insignificant things, like where to find the salt. It’s tedious, knowing that Kurt often retreats to the bedroom to cry at his mother’s dresser. The list goes on. So Blaine cries a lot, but only when Kurt doesn’t see it.

But then he dries his tears. He turns off his phone to avoid the annoying comments on Firmspring, asking what is going on, and he goes back to Kurt with a smile on his face.

After a week, Blaine feels ready to combust. Kurt’s memories have not come back, and Blaine just needs to get out.

So he calls Rachel and Jesse to keep Kurt company. They’re not the only glee kids living in the city, but Kurt’s told him a lot of stories about how he used to dislike Kitty and Kurt probably doesn’t even know Roderick.

It’s weird to think that Kurt doesn’t remember two of his closest friends. Blaine only met Kurt after the whole dramatic feud between Kurt and Kitty had settled down, so Blaine can’t imagine them being hateful towards each other. Jesse is already a stretch.

Blaine takes a cab to Sebastian and Adam’s apartment. People have started to recognise him, now that his music career is taking off, so taking a train is a bit off-limits. He gives his driver an enormous tip and he lets himself in. After all, the doorman recognises him.

As expected, Wes, Mae, Sebastian and Adam are waiting for him.

“You look like shit, Blaine,” Sebastian says when he opens the door.

“Feel like shit,” Blaine says and he walks past Sebastian. Adam and Mae greet him as well. Wes just has a pitiful look on his face, but Blaine takes it. Wes is the only one who knows what is going on. He hasn’t even told his girlfriend.

“Wes told us that Kurt’s a bit ill,” Adam says and Blaine wants to laugh at the ‘bit’ part. He’s not a bit ill. He’s a lot-

Well, is he ill? Kurt is fine, minus the huge memory loss. They’ve got an MRI scheduled, so all they can do is wait for now.

“We’re surprised that you decided to have a small meeting. The upcoming album can always wait and besides, Wes made it clear that the situation at home is dire enough,” Mae says and the others nod.

“You’re here, though. Does this mean that Kurt’s getting better?” Sebastian asks.

Blaine shakes his head. There’s absolutely no improvement and Blaine had to get out. He’s not here to work, but to vent. The others just don’t know it yet.

“If I may ask, what is going on with Kurt?” Adam sounds a bit worried.

Blaine takes a deep sigh and he nods. “Yes, I wanted to tell you. I want you guys to know what is happening, not as colleagues, but as close friends.” So Blaine tells him everything, from the moment he found Kurt lying on the kitchen floor, to the news that Finn has died, to scheduling an MRI, to now. He tells his friends every excoriating detail and he doesn’t hide the bitterness and sheer anger that’s he’s hidden in front of Kurt and nurses and doctors.

Because, really, Blaine is so angry at the universe. Kurt and Blaine were doing so great. They are at amazing points in their career. Past troubles of miscommunication have been fought. They’re working towards the future.

After Blaine’s heated monologue, it is silent. Adam, Sebastian and Mae all absorb the words. Wes just looks sad.

“He doesn’t know any of us?” Mae sounds sincerely sad.

“He doesn’t even know me, Mae,” Blaine says and the anger in his body seems to leave. Instead, sadness washes over him. Kurt doesn’t know anyone here. He doesn’t know that Adam is his first boyfriend. He doesn’t remember Wes and the time he ran into a pretty woman in the park called Mae. He can’t recall Blaine’s pure and utter shock at seeing Sebastian again after everything that went down in Dalton. And the follow up: the news that Sebastian is dating Kurt’s ex Adam.

They work as a team for Blaine’s album. Of course, there are more people involved in making an album, but this is his core. Wes is his lawyer, Adam helps with administration, and Sebastian does his PR. Mae isn’t officially part of his team, since she has a full-time job as a high school teacher, but she’s Wes’s girlfriend and she sticks around. She's resourceful and she can keep the peace and calm. 

Blaine needs that now.  

Work brought them all together, but friendship came out it. Yes, even Blaine and Sebastian managed to become friends. Kurt doesn’t even know the work – Rachel is probably filling him in – so he will definitely not know the friendship.

Sebastian gets up, probably to break out the alcohol. Blaine doesn’t drink, but he’s tempted to accept a cup of strong vodka, just to make him forget for a second. Adam goes after his boyfriend, probably to talk some sense into him.

Mae is on the verge of tears. Kurt and Mae are very close. Kurt was the person who told Wes to finally take the big step and ask Mae out and when Wes and Mae started dating. Afterwards, Kurt and Mae became great friends. Wes rubs comforting circles on her back.

Adam and Sebastian come back from the kitchen, empty-handed. “No liquor, but I am definitely in the need for coffee,” Sebastian says and Blaine wholeheartedly agrees.

“How are you holding up, mate?” Adam asks Blaine.

“I’m terrified, Adam,” Blaine admits.

“Of what?”

“How this is going to change Kurt. Change us. What if he-” Blaine’s breath hitches.

“What if he what, Blaine?” Wes motions for Blaine to go on.

“What if he doesn’t love me anymore.”

Mae rolls her eyes and Adam and Sebastian also exchange some amused looks. Wes shakes his head while smiling.

“It is not funny!” Blaine says angrily.

Wes shrugs half-heartedly. “No, it isn’t, but do you really think he’s going to stop loving you out of nowhere?”

“Things can change,” Blaine argues.

“But they won’t,” Wes says back, sounding a bit more strained.

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“But how?”

“Because he will love you, Blaine.”

“Give me one reason why he would love me?”

“Damnit Blaine, because he’s done it before!” Wes yells out. His patience is gone.

That shuts Blaine up. He looks around him and all his friends are looking at him with such pity. The more amused looks are gone and Blaine can’t stand it, but of course, Wes makes a valid point. He always does.

Wes continues to say: “He’s done it before and he will do it again. He already loved you the first time around, despite your flaws. Why the hell would it be different this time?”

Blaine knows why he’s afraid. He just doesn’t want to say it out loud, but then Mae scoots closer and wraps her hands around him and Sebastian and Adam hurry closer too. These friends have seen many ups and downs in Blaine’s life.

He should tell them.

“It’s just that… what if the memories don’t come back? He has a new chance at life and at finding someone else.” There, Blaine’s said it. There’s no going back. He can feel the tears forming in his eyes.

Wes doesn’t scoff or scold him. Instead, he joins the cuddle pile.

“Blaine Devon Anderson, in your past eight years with Kurt you’ve had a lot of doubts and fears but never once did you doubt Kurt’s love for you. Yes, you’ve felt inadequate and sometimes even unlovable, but in the end you always knew that Kurt loved you anyway. Don’t start now.”

Sebastian nods. “Yeah and also, what is in the past is in the past. Are you afraid of Kurt not loving you for who you are now, or are you afraid that your past will scare him off?”

“Both,” Blaine admits. The tears are now rolling down his cheek. Blaine’s cried a lot in the past week, but he was always hidden. Now he’s crying, but his friends are there.

“Kurt loves you, mate, I know so. He left me for you,” Adam jokes and he clutches his heart in fake-shock. The others laugh, despite the sad atmosphere. This has been an inside joke for years. Everyone knows that Adam is over Kurt.

“Also, what if Kurt changes? So what?” Mae ponders, “He might be a different person, but so are you, Blaine. Sebastian’s right. What’s past is in the past. Let Kurt fall in love with the current you. I mean, from everyone in this room, I’ve known you the shortest. I honest to God don’t want to know high school Blaine, or Blaine from ten years ago. I’m fine knowing you now.”

Blaine stares at her. Mae is such a wonderful person, who’s always there to see things positively. What would Blaine do without her?

“I love you, Mae,” he tells her.

“I love you too, Blaine,” Mae says back, and she wipes away his tears.

“Hey, now wait a minute!” Wes yells out and everyone dissolves into laughter again.

“Sorry babe, I love you as well, but my best friend Blaine comes first,” Mae says and she sticks out her tongue.

“Blaine is my best friend!” Wes says back and he pretends to faint from shock and betrayal.

The others all start to argue as well (“Blaine loves me more!” “Excuse me, Blaine and I go way back!” “Yes, but you were a fucking prick, Sebastian.” “Ouch!” “He’s right, though.”) and Adam goes out to get some coffee and cronuts from the coffee shop around the corner.

They talk some more about Kurt, but they also talk about their work for Blaine’s new gigs. It’s nice. Blaine loves his friends and by the end of the afternoon, he says his goodbyes and he goes back to Kurt. Of course, he plasters a smile on his face.

It will be fine.