July 5, 2023, 3 p.m.
Ljubim te: Recast
T - Words: 1,783 - Last Updated: Jul 05, 2023 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Dec 01, 2022 - Updated: Jul 15, 2023 207 0 0 0 0 Warnings (Story): Internalised homophobia
Kurt walks out of his university building. He didn’t have evening classes, but he needed to get his mind off things and the building is still open. Kurt decided to work a bit more on the play as a distraction. One of the leads got recast and it brought a whole new dynamic, so everyone is encouraged to rehearse as much as possible, even alone.
It didn’t really work, which is why an hour later, he’s already leaving.
“Dober večer,” he says to the doorman and he takes his phone out of his pocket to check if bus 6 is earlier than bus 14. That’s when he sees that has just missed a call from Sunil. That’s odd. He knows Sunil is with Tadeja, which is why Kurt opted for pizza instead of Boni with them.
Kurt calls him back while walking to the bus station.
“Heya,” he says.
“Oh, hey, Kurt,” Sunil says, “Where are you?”
“I just got out of the AGRFT building,” he replies, “I was working a bit more on Ulicia, and I decided to visit the set to get into the whole mood and-”
“Blaine is here.”
Kurt stops in his tracks.
“I’m sorry, what?” Kurt exclaims.
“Uh-uh. Yes, he came here, knocking, looking for you. I said you weren’t home and he was going to leave, but I told him to stay,” Sunil says that very pointedly, and Kurt imagines that he’s looking at Blaine while doing so, “I told him I’d call you. And here we are.”
“Here we are,” Kurt says, dumbfounded.
Kurt hears some shuffling on the other side of the line. Tadeja says something, but he can’t make it out, but the next thing he knows, Blaine’s voice is ringing in his ear.
“Kurt?” Blaine sounds out of breath.
“Yes?”
Really, what is happening?
“I… I, uh, I need to see you. Like, right now.”
“Okay?”
“Can you come-” Blaine’s cut off by Sunil. Kurt cannot hear what he’s saying, but he can hear Blaine humming in agreement.
“… Blaine?”
“Uh, can you come to my place?” Blaine asks.
Blaine can’t see it, but Kurt’s eyebrows raise.
He has no idea what Blaine is doing. He was certain that the two of them wouldn’t see each other for a while, and now Blaine wants to meet up to tell him something?
“Is Quinn okay with that?” he asks, just to be sure.
“… I don’t know where she is, but yes.”
This is getting stranger and stranger, but Kurt decides to take a leap of faith.
“Alright. I’ll see you in a few.”
“Oh. Yes. Alright,” Blaine sounds surprised and relieved, “Yes, yes, I will be there. Bye.”
He hangs up and Kurt stares at his phone for a few seconds before making his way to Blaine’s apartment.
Kurt’s nervous, but when he sees Blaine running down the street, he can’t help but laugh. It looks a bit comedic.
“Hey, long time no see,” Kurt decides to aim for casualness.
“I came here as soon as I could, but those damn bikes are so uncomfortable!” Blaine pants, which makes Kurt laugh even more. The bikes really are wack.
Now that Blaine’s up close, Kurt takes in his appearance. It’s not comedic after all. He looks sweaty and dishevelled. Some of his curls have escaped the gel and he has a frantic look in his eyes. He’s trembling slightly.
“Well. You’re here.”
“I am here. Please come in.”
Kurt follows Blaine inside and upstairs and he is still wondering what is happening. Why did Blaine go to Kurt’s place? Where did Quinn go?
“So,” Blaine says once they’re inside and he’s closed the front door behind him.
“So,” Kurt mirrors, because he has no clue what to say. There is an awkward tension in the air. Kurt’s nervous, and Blaine seems so as well. “You, uh, wanted to see me?”
Blaine nods.
“May I ask why?”
Blaine opens his mouth a couple of times to speak, but nothing comes out. He was so hellbent on being here, but now he seems lost for words. Or maybe he does know what to say, but he doesn’t know how to, so Kurt helps him out.
“Does it have anything to do with our talk in the park?”
Blaine nods slowly.
Great.
Kurt wonders for a second if Blaine is going to reject him again.
“Look, Blaine-”
Blaine must’ve realised Kurt’s trail of thoughts, because he immediately cuts Kurt off.
“Wait, no! I want to be with you!” he blurts out.
This is the second time today that Kurt’s getting a total emotional whiplash. His head is spinning and he is trying to figure out if he’s heard it correctly.
When Kurt remains silent, Blaine’s nervosity only seems to grow, and he starts talking about how he likes Kurt too and how he wants to give it a shot and what not, but Kurt can’t keep up.
He wants that as well.
Heck, he’s wanted to be with Blaine ever since he realised he likes Blaine, but he never let himself fantasise and he never acted on it, because Blaine is straight with a girlfriend. But now the same Blaine is confessing his feelings in a very awkward, blubbery way.
Okay, Kurt has to admit that sometimes he did let himself fantasise, but was is nothing like this.
“Blaine!” Kurt exclaims, which makes Blaine shut up.
“Sorry,” Blaine says after he’s calmed down a bit, “Fuck, I was rehearsing in my head what I’d say but instead…” he laughs awkwardly.
“Did you mean it, though?” Kurt asks and he hates how hopeful he sounds.
“Yes, of course,” Blaine says as if it’s obvious, “I wouldn’t embarrass myself like this if it weren’t real.”
“… This is so sudden,” Kurt admits. He is hearing what he’s wanted to hear, but it is so unexpected and Kurt’s still confused.
Blaine runs his hand over his face.
“I know, I know, but you like me back, right? So, uh…”
“Yes, but around an hour ago you swore you had a girlfriend and that you couldn’t leave her and now you’re asking me out,” Kurt points out, “You have to walk me through this. Where is Quinn? What happened?”
“She broke up with me when she saw I’d much rather be with you.”
Now, this is another whiplash. Quinn broke up with Blaine? Quinn was so enamoured by Blaine during dinner.
“And then she told me to go after you. So I did.”
“And you’re fine with that?” Kurt asks, just to be sure. In the park, Blaine was about to break down at the thought of him and Quinn being broken up.
“She loves me,” Blaine says after a small beat of silence, “She wants me to be happy. And I…” He takes a shaky breath. “To be honest, I am terrified, Kurt.”
Kurt’s heart breaks a little bit when he hears how scared Blaine is. He now knows that Blaine’s entire life has revolved about what other people think is best for him. This must be terrifying for him. For the first time, he’s doing what he truly wants.
“Oh, Blaine…” Kurt pushes his own confusion aside and he steps closer to hug him.
“You’re right, this is all so sudden. I am trying- trying to make sense of it myself,” Blaine sounds stricken, but he returns the hug, “I don’t know what to do or what to think or who I am, but I know I like you.”
“Blaine.”
“I like you. That is the only thing that makes sense to me now.”
“I like you too,” Kurt says quietly, “Oh, how I like you. I think I started liking you when we first met, but I didn’t realise until the storm.”
And finally, Blaine laughs. Kurt didn’t realise how much he missed it.
“That’s early. I didn’t fully understand it until I kissed you.”
The two of them stand in Blaine’s hallway, holding each other. Kurt can feel Blaine calming down. The tension is leaving his body and Kurt closes his eyes. It’s silent again, but now it is a comfortable silence.
If you’d told Kurt this morning that he’d be standing in Blaine’s hallway with Blaine in his arms after he just confessed that he wants to be with Kurt, Kurt would’ve laughed.
“Kurt?”
“Hm.”
“Sorry if I just- I put that on you.”
“Hm?”
“You’re right. This is a lot out of, uh, not nowhere. But it is a lot. I- I can understand if you need some time to think about what I said. I- I won’t take it personally if you want to leave, or even if you don’t want to be… with me.”
Blaine’s breath hitched during that last part.
“Especially since I am still… I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t know what I- I mean…”
“Blaine, what is it?” Kurt asks kindly.
“I think I am gay.”
Kurt tightens the hug.
“It’s- It’s always been guys,” Blaine says, “I just didn’t want to believe it, I think?”
He sounds confused, but Kurt doesn’t hold it against him. Again, he’s been here. He gets it.
“But this is so, uh, so new for me. Or not. I don’t know, because I guess I’ve always been gay. But, uh, this is...”
“Weird?” Kurt prompts.
“Fucked up,” Blaine deadpans and Kurt can’t help it, but he snorts, which in turn makes Blaine giggle for a second or two.
“Fucked up, huh?”
“Not bad fucked up… I think,” Blaine clarifies, “But fucked up in its own way.”
Kurt hums in agreement. That sums it up nicely.
“Yeah, uh, so, I understand if you, uh, don’t want to…” Blaine’s breath hitches, “Don’t want to be with a guy who’s still figuring stuff out. I can’t- I don’t even know what to tell my family, or friends, or… anyone.”
“Blaine…” Kurt slowly untangles himself from Blaine. He knows what he wants.
“Cause I am apparently in a closet, and uh, I need to figure out what to do with that. And if I want to get out of it-”
“Blaine-” Kurt grabs Blaine by the shoulders.
“And I get if that is a dealbreaker or, uh… I mean, again, I shouldn’t have just blurted that out-”
“Blaine, wait-” Kurt makes Blaine look at him.
“But I swear, I wasn’t- I had this in my head-”
“Blaine, I don’t want to leave!” Kurt says loudly.
Blaine’s eyes widen.
“You don’t?”
Kurt shakes his head.
“No, I don’t. In fact, I can do with some coffee.”
“Right,” Blaine says and he puts his hands over Kurt’s, “I have coffee.”
Kurt smiles.
“Lead the way.”
[Lucius voice] Oh my God, it's happening!