July 6, 2023, 4:33 p.m.
Ljubim te: Give
T - Words: 1,479 - Last Updated: Jul 06, 2023 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Dec 01, 2022 - Updated: Jul 15, 2023 209 0 0 0 0 Warnings (Story): Internalised homophobia
Kurt’s sitting on Blaine’s couch and he is looking around. It’s clear that Quinn’s been here in the past four days, but Kurt and Blaine don’t mention it.
Blaine carefully puts some of her stuff aside, so that he can sit next to Kurt. He hands him a cup of coffee.
“Ah, yes, my personal kavarna,” Kurt jokes.
“They drink a lot of tea in this country, but I will always prefer coffee,” Blaine says.
He stares at his cup.
Quinn prefers tea. They planned on going to a teahouse at the Ljubljana river tomorrow, but that’s probably off the table. Blaine wasn’t kidding when he told Kurt that he has no idea where Quinn is. He was so caught up in finding Kurt that he kind of forgot, but he thinks that Quinn doesn’t mind.
Quinn.
That really is over.
There is so much that needs to be arranged. They live together. Everyone knows them as a couple. Blaine’s mom has been joking about grandkids for a while, Blaine’s dad always asks about Quinn, and Quinn’s mom constantly keeps looking for a wedding ring on her daughter’s finger. Cooper calls Quinn and Frannie his sisters as a joke, but there is a reason for it. All their friends from Yale and LA say they’re “couple goals”.
They love each other, but as friends. They both stumbled into this relationship because they thought this was the right thing to do and Blaine tried so hard to make it work and to force himself to be attracted to her, but it never happened.
It’s almost laughable how many signs there were.
He does feel bad about breaking her heart, but Quinn was right. He deserves to think about what he wants, and he wants Kurt.
Kurt who is sipping his coffee.
Kurt sees Blaine staring and he raises an eyebrow.
Blaine wants to tell Kurt that he’s beautiful, but he can’t, because he’s not supposed to think this way. He wants to add that it’s just an objective fact, not his own attraction towards him.
But then he remembers that he doesn’t have to add that, and that he can say it.
“You’re beautiful,” he says tentatively. It feels a bit weird to say, but it also feels right, because Kurt is beautiful, damnit.
Kurt looks pleasantly surprised. Then his face morphs into an easy smile and he returns the compliment.
This is one of those moments where Blaine realises it should’ve been obvious that he’s into Kurt, because his entire body feels warm and it’s a familiar feeling. He’s wanted Kurt’s appreciation ever since they met.
“What?” Kurt laughs.
“Just thinking,” Blaine replies.
Thinking. He recommends it.
“About what?” Kurt says playfully.
“You, obviously. Me.”
“Yeah?” Kurt slowly puts his hand on Blaine’s leg and Blaine feels a shock run through his body. Again, he’s never felt anything like this when he was with Quinn, and this is a simple touch.
“About how I’ve wanted this without realising,” Blaine adds on and he puts his hand on Kurt’s, “About how no one else, no woman, has made me feel like this.”
Kurt nods.
“Been there,” he says.
“Really?” Blaine asks, shocked.
Kurt uses one shoulder to shrug.
“When I was very young,” Kurt answers, “It’s probably still a bit different from your situation. I never thought I was straight, but that doesn’t mean I was ready to be gay. But by the time I was fifteen, I knew I either had to accept it or hate myself. Luckily, my dad and friends were super supportive, so I leapt out of that closet and never looked back. But that closet was there for a reason.”
“… Right.”
Kurt puts his coffee cup on the side table. Now he puts his other hand over Blaine’s.
“Blaine, you’re not entirely wrong. I didn’t expect to fall for a guy who hasn’t figured it all out,” Kurt starts and Blaine can feel the panic return. He’s finally calmed down, and now Kurt’s saying this? He knows he said that he wouldn’t take it personally, but it still stings.
“Oh,” Blaine says.
The alarmed look on Blaine’s face does make Kurt reassure him.
“I am not rejecting you!” he says immediately, “In fact, what I am trying to say is that even though I didn’t plan this, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.”
“Yeah?”
Kurt nods eagerly.
“As you said, you like me, I like you.”
“I don’t know what I can give you, though,” Blaine says quickly. He doesn’t want Kurt to reject him, but he also doesn’t want to give Kurt false hope. Blaine’s a mess. This morning, he woke up next to his then-girlfriend, and now he’s willing to date another man. “I’ve never done this before, not really. I don’t know what to do and I- I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“That’s fine by me,” Kurt says.
“Why didn’t you say so in the hallway?” Blaine ponders out loud and Kurt barks out a laugh.
“Oh sweetheart,” he laughs and the term of endearment makes butterflies fly in Blaine’s stomach, “You were trembling!”
He really was. It was a mix of fear and nervosity, but also adrenaline and hope.
“I suppose I was a mess.”
Kurt hums in agreement. He lets go of Blaine’s hand, but only so that he can take the coffee cup from Blaine’s hand. He sets it on the table next to his own.
“I wanted you to be calm and certain before I could do this,” Kurt says.
“Do what-”
Kurt grabs his face and he kisses Blaine.
Blaine didn’t really anticipate it, and he falls back against the arm of the couch, but he doesn’t mind. He kisses back and it’s even better than their first kiss at Kurt’s place. Now, Blaine fully lets himself enjoy this and it is so good.
He grabs the back of Kurt’s head, just like he did before, to push him closer.
To Blaine’s surprise, Kurt basically climbs on top of him. He lets out a surprised sound and Kurt stops.
“Is this okay?” he asks when they realise Kurt’s basically in Blaine’s lap.
“Yeah,” Blaine says breathlessly.
Kurt leans down to kiss him some more and Blaine puts his hands on Kurt’s waist. The two of them keep making out and Blaine is revelling in it. He didn’t know kissing someone could be this nice. All this time he’s been trying to evoke this feeling by being with Quinn, but this is what he wants.
He actually wants this.
With Quinn, he would try to make himself interested by making out with her, like when he did this afternoon during the rugby game, but now he understands that it was all for nothing. When he was with Quinn, he didn’t let himself think. It was fine, and good, and it was just something they did and the moment he started thinking about it, it all went downhill.
But if kissing Quinn was just fine and good, then kissing Kurt is absolutely fucking phenomenal. Here, he can’t stop thinking about what he wants, and he desperately wants Kurt.
“Kurt?” he asks through the kisses, “Can I… uh…”
“What is it?” Kurt asks.
“I- I… Can I?” Blaine reaches for the buttons of Kurt’s fancy shirt.
Kurt nods eagerly.
“Can I also make a suggestion?” Kurt asks while he helps Blaine with the buttons. There are a lot, since Kurt wears a lot of interesting clothing pieces and normally Blaine would appreciate it, but now he wants them gone.
Blaine nods.
“Whatever you want. You might have to guide me through it, though,” Blaine laughs. He’s never been with another guy before, but Kurt luckily knows that.
“Can we move this to somewhere more comfortable?” Kurt asks.
“Yeah, yeah,” Blaine says. That is a great idea.
Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and together they walk to the bedroom. Blaine is a bit anxious, but also excited. He wanted to take things slowly, but the moment he’s on top of Kurt he realises that those plans have flown out of the window and he couldn’t care less.
Blaine also takes off his shirt and a shiver goes down his spine when he sees the way Kurt looks at him.
“Uh. Tell me what to do,” Blaine says lamely as he’s hovering over Kurt.
Kurt puts his hand over his eyes and he lets out a laugh. Blaine doesn’t know if he’s supposed to feel self-conscious, but he doesn’t, since he’s distracted by the sound of Kurt’s laugh.
“Come here,” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and he guides it down his stomach, “Is this okay?”
Blaine knows where this is heading and he thinks this is more than okay. He wants this. He tells himself that he’s allowed to want this and he believes it. And it feels great.