2011

Mercedes: okay, but that is ridiculous.
We’re not using hemp for our tents!!

Blaine: I agree. This sounds fake

Me: nope! Canvas is derived from the word cannabis

Me: like, obviously nowadays the hemp
has been substituted for other materials

Mercedes: lol

Blaine: are you sure this is real?

Blaine: like, I have a hard time believing this

Me: you can Google it

Me: also yeah I know the most about fabrics here

Me: fashion is like crack to me

Blaine: it just sounds so stupid

Me: obviously

Blaine: are you not making this up???

Mercedes: bruh he’d know better than any of us

Me: no why would I?

Blaine: idk it just sounds fake

Blaine: don’t mean to offend

Blaine: like I’m not saying you’re lying or anything

Blaine: but It just doesn’t sound believable

Me: ok

Kurt’s in the choir room and he takes a photo of the sheet music. Mr. Schue is making them do Journey again and it’s tedious.

That’s when he notices that Blaine’s changed his profile photo into nothingness.

Kurt shrugs and he sends his message.

Me: doing don’t stop believin’ for thr xth time makes me want to stop believin’

Me: wanna come over today?

Blaine hasn’t replied to his stab at Mr. Schue’s song choices, which is kind of weird. Blaine always has something to say about music. That’s why Kurt still thinks that Blaine should obtain a music degree somewhere.

Kurt stares at his screen. It looks like his previous message was never received. This current message also isn’t landing.

He swipes to another chat.

Me: did Blaine change his pfp?

Mercedes: no? why do you ask?

Me: ????

Mercedes: ????????????

Mercedes: Kurt, what is going on???

Me: I don’t see a pfp anymore
I see the standard whatsapp pfp

Mercedes: really? I still see his current one

Me: wtf

Kurt frowns. He quickly asks around. He has the numbers of some of Blaine’s Warbler friends and some of Kurt’s McKinley friends have Blaine’s number. Kurt and Blaine’s lives are always intertwined, so of course their friends know the other person.

Right now, everyone sends back the same answer. Blaine didn’t change anything.

Kurt’s frown deepens and he Google what it means when one person can’t see the profile photo while the others can.

His heart drops when he sees the search results.

He rushes back to the chat between him and Mercedes and he’s typing frantically. This can’t be real.

Me: Mercedes

Me: holy fk shit

Me: Mercedes wtf I think this means
that I am blocked ike bgoogle
says that it means thay he blocke d me???

Me: blaine blocked me???????

Mercedes is on a rant, but Kurt can barely follow her trail of thought. He’s sitting in his desk chair, staring into nothingness. It’s been a week since Kurt has heard anything from Blaine. He’s tried to message him through other social media sites, where he wasn’t blocked, but he got no answer.

Blaine just fucking blocked him out of nowhere.

Mercedes also tried to contact him and to make matters worse, Blaine hasn’t blocked her. He didn’t really reply, but he’s read Mercedes’s angry messages. Kurt’s just numb.

He closes his eyes and to his dismay, Company’s What Would We Do Without You plays in the back. It’s a fun song, but right at the end all the friends start to repeat the same phrase over and over again to Bobby.

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get--
How would we ever get--through?
What would we do without you?

What would Kurt be without Blaine? Who is he without Blaine? Blaine arrived in his life when he needed it. He was a sad, lonely child who felt misunderstood. Maybe it’s pathetic to build your whole life around another person, but Kurt honestly has no idea who he is without Blaine. They’ve been part of each other’s lives for eight years. Kurt’s madly in love with him.

Kurt slams his laptop shut. The sound makes Mercedes stop talking. She crouches in front of Kurt and she hands him a tissue. Kurt didn’t even realise that he’d started crying.

“What could’ve caused this?” Kurt asks desperately through his tears.

“When was the last time you spoke to him?” Mercedes asks kindly.

“The stupid canvas debate. But that can’t be it, right?” Kurt asks.

Mercedes looks confused too. “That can’t be it. I mean, if it were, then it’d be real fucking stupid.”

“Then what is it?”

Kurt’s looked back on their friendship in this past week and nothing stands out. It’s true that in the past year, talking to Blaine became tedious at moments. It was clear that the two of them were going in different directions in life. But this… well, this is unexpected. It’s not like their differences ever put them apart like this. Different is good. Different is what makes them compatible. And Blaine said so himself: no matter what happens, they will still be friends.

Well, he broke that promise.

“Is Blaine coming over?” Carole keeps asking. Kurt can’t really fault her. After a month of silence, it’s become clear to everyone that something’s happened.

But in the one year of this Hummel-Hudson family, Blaine was unthinkable. Kurt’s dad and Carole sometimes joked that they got a third son out of all of this. Blaine always moved around the house without any effort, as if he practically lives here. Kurt never felt at home like that in Blaine’s house.

So it’s a bit hard for everyone to readjust to this new life.

“Carole, stop asking,” Kurt’s dad says. He and Finn are setting the table for Friday Night dinner. They’ve already gotten used to only setting four plates. “You know it upsets Kurt.”

Kurt’s certain that he shouldn’t have heard that, but he nods. It’s true.

“I ran into Blaine the other day,” Rachel says casually during lunch. Mercedes looks at Kurt out of the corner of her eyes.

“Oh?” she then prompts Rachel to talk.

“Yeah, I just talked about you and how you’re doing and what you’re doing,” Rachel says, “I tried to get some information out of him, but it didn’t work.”

“But he talked to you?” Kurt asks.

Rachel nods, looking apologetic.

Kurt shoves his tray away from him. The cafeteria food is never proper, but now he isn’t hungry anymore.

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Rachel says, “He just… didn’t say much. I talked about our NYADA auditions and about glee club and how you’re doing and I said that I was sorry that the Warblers lost their Regionals, but nothing. Sorry.”

“Kurt?”

Kurt sniffs and quickly dries his tears, but it’s too late. Finn’s head’s poking in the bathroom. Kurt thought he was home alone, but Finn must’ve crept in. This must be such a pathetic sight. Kurt’s crying in a dark bathroom over a broken friendship.

Finn turns on the light. “Dude, what is going on?”

And maybe it’s because Finn looks so genuinely worried, or maybe it’s because Kurt’s so fucking emotional, but he cries out that he just misses Blaine.

“I’ll kill him,” Finn says.

“Finn…”

“No, fuck, I swear! This isn’t cool. He just dropped you without an explanation. If Puck were to do this to me, I’d also be bummed, and the friendship between me and Puck is nothing compared to what you have! So yeah, I’ll kill him.”

Kurt knows that Finn won’t actually plan on killing Blaine and that it’s just an expression, but it still makes Kurt feel uneasy. Blaine is (was?) also friends with Finn. His entire family misses Blaine. Carole seems to believe it’ll all work out. Kurt’s dad is just as confused and upset as Kurt, or so it seems. Finn’s the only one who’s already harbouring a grudge.

“You’ll have to catch him first,” Kurt says sadly, “Right now it looks like he doesn’t want to be seen.”

Finn sits down on the cold bathroom floor.

“Who knows, man? You guys always expected to be in each other’s lives forever.”

Kurt nods. That’s true. Even now he can’t envision a future without Blaine being at his side. And the worst part is that he still hopes that it’ll happen.