I'd cry a river just for you
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I'd cry a river just for you: Fan - In the Heights


T - Words: 5,523 - Last Updated: Jun 12, 2022
Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jun 12, 2022 - Updated: Jun 12, 2022
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2020

Kurt and Blaine are once again staring at each other, and neither is planning to move. The music is loud and it’s pounding in his head. Blaine turns on his heel, especially since Yannick arrives and he taps Kurt on the shoulder, and he walks out.

He’s already anticipating Bella’s text messages, but like last time, she will be fine since she has Adeola now. Blaine’s in such a rush to get out that he completely ignores his coat. When the cold December air hits him, he starts to regret it.

Well, at least he has his phone, earbuds, wallet and keys. He’ll have to ask Bella to retrieve it. He walks down the Lijnbaan, shivering. He needs to take his mind off things, so he puts on his showtunes playlist, but he lets out a bitter laugh when In the Height’s The Club starts playing.

A toast to the end of all I know!

You've had enough!

S ays the girl who has it all

That's not fair

Well why don't you run home to daddy?
He loves to remind methat I'll never be good enough for your family,
for you

You don't know me

Poor you

I thought you were different

Blaine turns off the music before the song can continue. It’s too much. He’s a fan of the song, but now it’s grating. The confrontation between Nina and Benny in the club, with Benny mentioning Nina’s amazing dad. That hits too close to home.

Blaine walks past all the closed shops and he’s silent. Why the fuck did Kurt have to show up at TOFFLER? With Yannick, of all people. And then Blaine shakes his head, because Kurt doesn’t have to justify anything.

“Blaine!”

It’s so stupid. Kurt’s constantly on his mind. He’s even hearing his voice.

Blaine walks faster. He needs to go home.

Blaine!”

When Blaine passes the Bijenkorf, he gets stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Blaine turns around and Kurt’s panting. And he’s holding out a coat.

“What on Earth are you thinking?” he says harshly, and it makes Blaine’s entire body tense up. It reminds him too much of before. Kurt doesn’t notice, because of course he doesn’t, and he shoves the coat in Blaine’s hands.

“Are you following me?”

Kurt blinks and after a beat of silence, he says: “I guess I am.”

Blaine reluctantly puts on the coat. He doesn’t want Kurt to be right, but he is. He always is.

“Well, thanks for the coat. I’ll better get going-”

“Can we talk?”

Blaine instinctively takes a step back. “I thought we were pretty certain about this. We’re not doing this. You got your closure seven years ago.”

“But did you?”

Blaine’s thrown off guard.

No. The answer is no. And now Kurt’s offering it, despite his own discomfort. Kurt tried to talk to him at Yannick’s friend’s party, and Blaine shut him out, and yet here he is again. It’s confusing, to be honest, because Blaine still vividly remembers how angry Kurt sounded when he told Blaine that he was ‘fucking done’.

Maybe this is why Kurt tried to talk to Blaine at the party.

And he’s trying again.

“I live close by,” Blaine says before he can stop himself, “Do you, uhm, want some coffee? Are you still a slut for coffee?”

Kurt laughs and it startles Blaine.

“Fuck, I said that, didn’t I?” he says with a laugh. Blaine cautiously smiles too.


Kurt walks around in amazement and Blaine’s used to this reaction. He still remembers how Bella’s eyes widened when she realised where Blaine lived.

“How do you live here?” Kurt asks.

“My dad owns the place. He lets me live here. I know I’m very fortunate.”

Bella lives in a student housing flat where she shares her kitchen, living room and bathroom with others. Blaine has an apartment on the seventh floor of the Markthal with a view on the city centre. It’s not a mansion in Kralingen-Oost, but it might as well be.

Blaine hands Kurt a cup of coffee.

“How long have you been living in Rotterdam?”

“Since the summer,” Blaine answers, “Since the start of term.”

“You’re a student?” Kurt asks.

Blaine nods. He’s ready to defend his choice. After all, why would he be a first year student at age twenty-seven? There are more older people at university, but many still have questions.

But then Kurt surprises him yet again.

“So am I.”

“EUR?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Amsterdam Fashion Academy. It’s my second year.”

Blaine doesn’t know what to say about that. Last time they spoke, Kurt was at NYADA. Blaine was living in Lima, wasting his life, but Kurt was the one who made it out. Blaine’s thought about Kurt in the past seven years, and he always imagined him living his best life in New York, maybe with Rachel in tow.

God, Rachel. Blaine did completely forget about her.

“I didn’t know they had a music department at EUR,” Kurt says.

“I’m studying law.”

Kurt’s cup stills at his lips and he frowns. Blaine doesn’t like this, so he quickly says something to shift the focus to Kurt.

“You study fashion in Amsterdam, but you live in Rotterdam?”

Kurt snorts. “Blaine, have you tried living in Amsterdam? Rotterdam is expensive too, so was New York, but why live in Amsterdam when you can go here?”

Blaine doesn’t say anything and Kurt also remembers that they’re currently standing in Blaine’s expensive apartment.

How many times has Kurt thought about Blaine? Has he also tried to keep a tab on Blaine’s life? Blaine knows that Burt Hummel closed his shop and that he and Carole moved to Washington. Does Kurt know that Blaine’s parents split and that his dad got crazy rich after making some smart investments?

All these thoughts are driving Blaine mad.

The two of them drink their coffee in silence. They’re standing in the middle of Blaine’s apartment. The awkwardness is palpable.

But Kurt’s here. He’s willing to talk. He’s awkwardly standing in Blaine’s fucking living room. And the sight of Kurt being here is almost too much.

Blaine’s brain shorts out, because he blurts out: “I’ve missed you.”

Kurt chokes on his drink and Blaine can feel his stomach drop. Now he’s definitely ruined it. Kurt’s coughing loudly and Blaine wants to comfort him, but it feels too awkward. It was already awkward, and now he’s made it worse!

Kurt doesn’t meet Blaine’s eyes, but he whispers: “I’ve missed you too.”

“Yeah?” Blaine asks and he hates that he can’t hide his hope.

“Of course,” Kurt says, like it’s obvious. And it’s obvious. They were friends for ten years and their friendship ended when they were twenty. At that moment, they’d spent half of their lives together.

“So, what happens now?”

Kurt shakes his head. He’s still not looking at Blaine.

“Can we be friends again?” Blaine blurts out and he really needs to put this coffee down the drain, since it’s making his brain mushy. Or maybe the cold killed him and he’s dreaming.

But Kurt shakes his head again.

“No. I don’t think I want that.”

“But…” Blaine trails off. But Kurt misses Blaine. He’s happy to see him, Kurt said so himself. “But…”

Kurt puts his coffee mug on the lounge table. “Thanks for the coffee. I should go.”

“Wait-”

“I never changed my number,” Kurt cuts him off. Then he finally stares at Blaine. “You can unblock me, if you’d like.”

Blaine lost all his contacts when he changed numbers, but he’s memorised Kurt’s number years ago. Blaine knows what Kurt’s saying.

It’s confusing. Kurt doesn’t want to be friends, yet he gives Blaine a way in, telling him it’s okay if Blaine texts him.

“Yeah. I will.”

Kurt gives him a sad smile. “Only took you seven years.”

It took Blaine way too long.

End Notes:

I posted an existing floor plan of Blaine’s apartment here, in case you’re curious!


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