Insomnia was what Kurt attributed everything to these days. Not sleeping well caused all of his problems. He was angrier than usual and stayed away from people as much as he could with out his job suffering. He spent a lot of time sitting at home watching a movie or working. The worst part was avoiding skype. He had stayed logged out since he sent the message, too afraid to look and see if his name had been deleted. It wasn’t important, he’d tell himself. I have better things to worry about than some internet porn star. Even in his head he knew it didn’t sound right. Blaine was an artist.

It took him six days to finally work up the courage to log in. And it was only because Rachel wanted to skype him. As much as Rachel sometimes drove him insane, he knew talking to her would help him feel better. Or at least understand the stupid emotions that kept taking over his life.

As soon as he logged on he couldn’t help but look at the contact list. There he was. Still on the list, currently set as away. Probably giving a show. The idea made Kurt oddly jealous and he cleared his throat like someone was listening in to his own mind babble. It was none of his business what the stranger called Blaine did. They weren’t friends, they weren’t lovers, they weren’t anything. But he also hadn’t been deleted from his contact list.

The skype call with Rachel ended with Kurt feeling disappointed. He should have expected it, but it was all Rachel complaining about the usual things. By the time he had an opportunity to talk, he was too tired and frustrated to let the words out.

Kurt sat staring at his computer screen for an unmeasurable amount of time. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but it was still early afternoon. If he slept now, he probably wouldn’t that night. But then again, he hadn’t been sleeping much at all, so it wouldn’t be a horrible idea.

He made his way to his bed at a sloth pace, just across from his desk. He landed face first in to the fluff he called his bed. It wasn’t twenty seconds before he heard the beeping of his computer, signaling a video call.

--

When Blaine got the message from Kurt, he felt like he’d been hit by a freight train. Of course he should have been expecting this. Sometimes client’s just wanted one show then to be forgotten. Blaine had hoped he’d at least stay around a little bit longer, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Try as he might, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to delete the stranger off of his contact list.

He canceled all of his appointments, not really feeling up to putting on a sexy show. He was falling back into the pit of depression that he felt like he had just climbed out of. Of course, it had been an ever lasting battle since he left Dalton. He thought he’d found the cure when he started doing these erotic shows, but he was wrong. Doing these shows had just dug a pit for him to trip back in to as soon as hope came back into his life, with the beautiful face and haunting blue eyes he could never escape.

He had logged in to skype several times just to see if maybe he would be on. Every time he wasn’t though, and Blaine fell deeper and deeper into the pit of darkness. It was harder to get up every day and go to work. Harder to put on a smile for his coworkers and customers. Harder to breathe, even. The sharp objects in his kitchen slowly looked more and more like a stuffed animal to cuddle with that would take away the empty feeling deep in his chest.

Until he turned his computer on that Friday afternoon and was surprised to see Kurt was online. Blaine debated whether his hope was stupid or not, but he couldn’t stop his fingers as they quickly pressed the call button.            

The longer it rang, the more his stomach dropped. His hope ran out quickly until he was just staring at the icon. It took him a minute to realize that someone had actually picked up.

He let his eyes focus as he stared at the screen at the sleepy-looking Kurt. God, he was adorable like that. He cleared his throat.

“Uh…hey.” He said. Wow, Blaine. You sure do have a way with words.

“Hey…” Kurt responded softly, stifling a yawn. He was awake now, though, just seeing Blaine’s distraught face. Why did he seem so distraught?

Blaine wracked his brain for something to say. Finally, he forced words out.

“I owe you a show.” He said, trying a smirk.

“You don’t really look up to it.” Kurt said and Blaine’s fake smirk dropped. He frowned. “But uh…I won’t say no if you want to.” He said. Seeing Blaine so vulnerable made him clench his fists with out even realizing it. He wanted to hurt whatever it was that made him that way.

“I didn’t mean to just ignore you or something, Kurt. I owe you that show.” Blaine said with an almost begging voice.

“Hey…how about we do the show another day?” Kurt said softly, wanting only to comfort him.

Blaine looked down, then back up. “Just give me a day.” He said, not wanting to end this call so soon. Kurt’s eyes were like glass, cutting through him and helping the darkness leak out a little.

“How about Tuesday?” Kurt said softly. “Is that good?” Blaine nodded. “Are you okay?” Kurt said before Blaine could do anything else.

He stared at the screen, trying to form words. His usual “Yeah, I’m totally fine.” Just didn’t seem acceptable. Instead, he just stared.

“Blaine?” Kurt said, his voice like velvet to Blaine.

“Yeah? Oh…I’m just not really feeling very well.” Blaine said. It wasn’t that much of a lie, but Kurt saw through it.

“I’m here if…if you need someone to talk to.” He said. The velvet part was a lie. It was more like silk against his cheek. If he were smoothly shaven, which he wasn’t.

“It’s enough that you’re still here, Kurt.” Blaine said, smiling a real, fond smile. One that hadn’t touched his lips in too long for him to remember.