I've Been Looking Forever
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I've Been Looking Forever: Chapter 4


E - Words: 3,688 - Last Updated: Jun 25, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: May 12, 2012 - Updated: Jun 25, 2012
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Author's Notes: I don't own Glee yadayadayada
OOMPH. Guys, I've totally been forgetting to put disclaimers, so I don't own Glee
yadayadayada. Thanks for reading everyone :3

Blaine woke up on Wednesday, and he could tell it was going to be a bad
day. First of all, Kurt and Chandler were back together. Second, Harry had a bad
cold. Third, apparently his work was laying off certain teachers. Harry couldn't go to
school today, but he had no one to babysit him. So, Harry would have to go to
school. On the day he has music class, too.
"Daddy?" Harry sniffled, his eyes puffy and his voice scratchy.
"I'm sorry you have to go to school today bud, but there's no one else to
babysit you." Blaine presses a kiss to Harry's cheek as he pulls up Harry's jeans,
buttoning them and zipping them.
"C-can't Kurt babysit me? He homeschools Soph." Harry closed his eyes, and
Blaine could tell he was tired.
"I can call him. If you want to go. And if he's willing to." Blaine pulled out his
crappy cell phone, but dialed Kurt's number, waiting for it to pick up.
"Hello?"
' "Kurt, it's me, it's Blaine. Can you watch Harry today? He's really sick and I
have to go into work today." Blaine says back in one breath, scared that Kurt
wouldn't say yes.
"Oh, yeah. Of course! Just drop him off before you go into work, I'll be here."
Kurt sounds happy, and that's good. He could hear Chandler and Sophia in the
background, laughing.
"Thank you, thank you so much. I'll see you in a bit, Bye!"
"Bye!"
Blaine smiled, and gently shook Harry out of his slumber, "C'mon, let's get
you in your pajamas again. Kurt will watch you."
***
When Blaine arrived at Kurt's apartment, he knocked on the door. It was a
minute or so before someone answered, but when someone did, it was Chandler.
"Oh. Is Kurt still here..?" Blaine asked nervously, suddenly becomng very aware of
himself.
Chandler laughed, "Yeah. C'mon in, Kurt told me Harry was sick. Your kid is
really good in my class, y'know. Real nice voice." Chandler opened up the door for
Blaine and Harry, and led them into the living room. "Sorry about last time, no harsh
feelings?"
"No harsh feelings. As long as you don't hurt Kurt. I care about him, y'know?
Um, I have to get to school, so just tell Kurt that Harry's stuff is in that bag." He leant
down to Harry and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"We'll take good care of him," Chandler assured, flashing a bright grin.
"Be good for Kurt and Chandler."
"I will daddy, I'll see you later." Blaine looked back one last time before
walking out the door, leaving Chandler and Kurt with Harry. Sure, Blaine was scared
for his kid; but Chandler seemed to be sincere in his promise to take care of Harry.
And besides, Kurt was there in case Harry, Sophia or even Chandler got too out of
hand.
Even though he kept reassuring himself, there was still something telling him
this was a bad idea.
***
"Harry?" Harry awoke to the sound of Kurt's comfortable voice, in a huge bed.
"Are you okay sweetheart? You're in my room, I just wanted you to be comfy."
Harry's head was pounding, and he felt like dying. "I.. I'm hungry." Harry gave
a slight shiver even though he was covered with five blankets. "And thirsty. Really
thirsty."
"Do you want something to eat? I'll have Chandler make you something to
eat." Kurt pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek, much like he does to Sophia while she's
sick. "I'll be right back, don't worry."
Kurt goes down the hallway to ask Chandler to make lunch, and sees
Chandler and Sophia curled up on the couch reading a book. "Hi."
"Daddy! Daddy!" Sophia whisper-yells, "Can I see Harry now?
Pleeassseeee?" She begs, pouting.
"No, maybe later. But right now it's lunch time. Chandler, can you make
sandwiches with soup?" Kurt asks, smiling.
"Naturally." Chandler gets up and presses a passionate kiss to Kurt's lips,
hearing Sophia go, 'Ewwww' in the background.
***
Harry went back to bed after he ate, and Kurt was genuinely concerned for
him. Not even Sophia slept this much when she was sick, and it couldn't have been
normal. Kurt called a doctor to come visit the house, and make sure Harry was
alright. He would do anything for Blaine, and Harry's like his own child.
"Harry, wake up. There's a doctor here. Wake up Harry." He gently shook
Harry awake, and he awoke quite quickly. "Hey buddy."
"Why's there a doctor here?" Harry mumbled, still tired and his headache had
gotten worse.
"I just want to make sure you're alright. You've been sleeping almost the
whole entire time you've been here. Can you just.. Just take his temperature and
things doctors do? I'll pay for everything, just. Just make sure he's alright." Kurt pulls
up a chair next to the bed to sit in, so he could be by Harry.
"Of course, Mr.Hummel. Can I have you sit up, Harry?" Harry does as Dr.
Criss tells him, and the doctor takes his stethoscope to Harry's chest, telling him to
take deep breaths.
Kurt holds Harry's hand, reassuring him he'll be okay. After the doctor takes
Harry's blood pressure and his temperature, he asks Kurt to talk to him alone for a
minute. "Mr.Hummel, Harry isn't your child, I know. But could you maybe talk to his
father about nutrition? Harry's blood pressure is running severely low, and that's not
a good thing for his little body. Is he, well, if you're paying for this I'm guessing they
don't have a lot of money, right? I recommend that you should talk to him about
everything, and maybe offer to help them out with groceries."
Kurt nods, because Blaine's his friend. He'd do anything for them, "Thank
you, Doctor. And I will, I promise. What can I do right now?"
"You can just make sure he doesn't get dehydrated or pass out. Try and keep
him awake. Don't worry about the money, it's on me." The doctor leaves before Kurt
can say thank you, and before he can get back to Harry; Chandler is blocking his
way.
"Is he okay?" He asks, fake concern in his voice.
"No.. I just. I don't know what to do. Blaine needs money for healthy food but
he never even asks, and now Harry's sick because of it. We need to help them, their
apartment is probably a little hole in the wall."
Chandler shrugged his shoulders, "Do what you want then."
Kurt thinks for a moment, "What if we have them come stay with us for a bit?
We have the extra guest room.."
Chandler shakes his head, "I don't think that's a good idea."
Kurt scoffs, "Why?"
"Because he's gay and obviously likes you. C'mon, they'll be fine." Chandler
wraps his hands around Kurt's waist, "Gimme a kiss." Chandler presses a kiss to
Kurt's lips, then pulls away. "I gotta go to the store, I'll be back, kay?"
"Mmkay." Kurt turns away coldly, heading back into the room where Harry
was.
"Hey, the doctor wants you to stay awake for a bit. Do you want me to get
some coloring books, or maybe I could read you stories?" Kurt asks, not knowing
what to do.
"Can you read to me? I promise I won't fall asleep, but at my house we only
have like, 15 different books." Harry sits up in bed, clutching the blankets to his
chest.
"Yeah, of course I can read to you! Let me go get some books from the
library, okay?" Kurt smiles, he loved to read aloud.
"Okay Kurt!"
***
When Blaine comes to pick up Harry, Harry and Kurt are sitting on the couch
with Sophia, watching The Little Mermaid. He hears Kurt's laugh ring out, and then
sees him pick up Sophia and Harry, twirling them around.
"Blaine! Hi! Harry was good today, but, I need to talk to you about something."
Kurt sets down Harry and Sophia on the couch, and walks over to Blaine. "Let's go in
another room.."
Once Kurt and Blaine sat in his comfy office chairs, Kurt's face turned
suddenly serious, "Why didn't you tell me you were having a hard time with getting
groceries?"
"I'm not! I swear to god." Blaine half yelled back, trying to defend himself.
Kurt scoffed, "That explains why Harry was so sick today that I had to get a
fucking doctor to come here and make sure he's okay!"
"You know I don't have enough money for that, why did you call a doctor?!"
Blaine yelled, like fully yelled. Angered that Kurt wouldn't even think of how little they
had.
"I'm paying because Harry's like a second son to me. You need to get
healthier food at least. Just.. I know you love your son but right now, he needs a
healthier life style. And that means either making changes to your grocery list, or
coming to live with me." Kurt rested his head in his hands. It was wrong of him to go
against Chandler, but.. Blaine and Harry needed them.
"I.. Bye, Kurt. Stop meddling in my life." And with that, Blaine walked out the
door, and Kurt couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't the one who controlled
Blaine. Blaine controlled himself.
***
"Is something wrong?" Chandler asked calmly after Harry and Blaine had
gone home and Sophia was gone to bed.
Kurt pulled his knees farther up into his chest, blocking out both the cold from
the wind on the patio and Chandler's fake tenderness. "It's just...nothing," he trailed
off lamely, not looking in Chandler's direction but instead looking out at the New York
lights. It was nothing, wasn't it? Kurt was just nervous and jittery about getting
married. And upset about Blaine. That was it. Truly.
"Kurt?" Chandler asked again, moving his chair closer to Kurt's. Kurt could
feel Chandler's hot breath on his neck, sending chills down Kurt's spine; and not in a
good way.
"It's just..I don't know if marriage is the best option right now," Kurt admitted,
immediately regretting his words. He hated to see how Chandler's face fell in that
moment; even after all the Hell Chandler had put him through. Kurt still couldn't bring
himself to truly hate Chandler. He mainly just hated the way Chandler made him feel.
"Just..nevermind. Forget I said anything."
"No, Kurt. I can't forget it. You need to be sure this is what you want. We
need to be sure this is what we want. Just, talk to me, okay? What's on your mind?"
Chandler reached for Kurt's hand and after a slight hesitation, Kurt accepted it,
taking Chandler's clammy hand.
Neither of them said anything for a few moments, the only sound was the
noise of the street from down below them. Kurt couldn't quite put his finger on what
was holding him back. It was everything and nothing. He had always thought that
Chandler was the one that he wanted to marry, but now he wasn't too sure. He
wanted to trust Chandler and he partially did, but he couldn't handle any more
heartbreak. He knew that Blaine coming into his life had something to do with it, no
matter how much he told himself that Blaine meant nothing. Blaine could never
mean nothing.
"It's just...how do I know that you won't go back to Sam? How do I know that
once we're married everything is going to fall into place and I'm not going to wake up
to an empty bed because you went to see someone else?" There was too many
things and worries that Kurt had been holding in for too long.
"Kurt," Chandler tried to sound comforting, but there was an undertone of
scolding that Kurt couldn't ignore. It was almost like Chandler thought that Kurt was
dumb for worrying about that. Now that Kurt thought about it, that was exactly how
Chandler felt. "That's not going to happen."
"How do I know? How do I know that's not what's going to happen? How can
you promise me that?" Kurt half-screamed, his voice escalating with every word. He
was done with people pushing him around.
Chandler didn't say anything, then dropped Kurt's hand forcefully. "Because,
Kurt. I was being stupid. I wish I could take it back. But I can't. I never should have
done that to you. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Then why would you do that if you knew how wrong it was? Why would you
purposely hurt me?" Kurt looked away from Chandler, and casted his gaze toward
the skyline again.
"Because, Kurt. I can't think straight when alcohol is in my blood system. You
know that. And I'm probably the biggest asshole in the world for hurting you and
Sophia time and time again. But if you would just give me one more chance, I would
be forever in your debt. Please. i'm begging you." Chandler pleaded, begging Kurt to
look him in the eye.
But Kurt couldn't buy it. He knew all too well how untrue what Chandler was
saying was. "How do I know that you're not going to get drunk and sexually abuse
me? Or go back to Sam? Or..or hurt Sophia?" Chandler had had a drinking problem
for as long as Kurt could remember and he couldn't stand it.
"I'll quit," Chandler said dismissively, as if quitting an alcohol addiction was
the easiest thing.
Kurt scoffed, "You know as well as I do that you can't just quit on the spot. It's
not nearly as simple as that."
Chandler stood there dumbfounded, Kurt was right. He couldn't just quit. "I
can try though."
Kurt laughed, "Trying isn't enough with me. Because you always say that
you'll try to do things but you never even do. Remember when you said you'd try and
get home to take me out to dinner? Oh, yeah, that's right, you were too busy fucking
Sam to come home. Remember when you said you'd try to care for Sophia? Then
you spanked her a month later. You don't even give a damn about her, and she
doesn't give a damn about you either, Chandler. You were never here. You never
saw her take her first steps, you never heard her first words, and you never even
changed one of her diapers."
Chandler got up, "Are you saying you don't want me here? Is that what you're
trying to say? Because I can go. Take our little girl and go off to Los Angeles where I
could become an actor, be more famous than you."
Kurt didn't know what to do. Chandler didn't have the keys to the house
anymore, and he could remove the spare key from outside. Kurt could change the
locks tomorrow, and then get a restraining order. "You can never have her. Ever. So
don't even try. And I hate to break it to you, but I have my name mentioned on every
red carpet event at least five times. You could never be more famous than me."
"Bye Kurt, for good. But make sure you keep an eye on Sophia." Chandler
walks out of the room, presumably to pack his bags. Kurt really did have no one right
now, since Blaine was mad at him. But let Blaine be mad at him. Kurt Hummel can
be single and independent. And it was his time to prove it.
****
As Chandler settled down into Sam's apartment, he walked outside to make
an.. err. Private call. Sebastian Smythe, his old "friend" and Blaine's ex. You see,
Sebastian was quite.. well.. He had anger issues to put it simply. Once he had
recognized Blaine, he had automatically remembered Sebastian. He knew more
about Blaine and Sebastian's relationship than Kurt and that made him satisfied.
When Chandler wanted something, he got it. "Sebastian, hi. I need your help."
"What is it? I have things to do and people to fuck." Sebastian put quite
bluntly, not caring about what Chandler thinks. They were alike in many ways.
"I found Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Your ex." Chandler spews out, making sure
Sebastian knew.
"The one who got away? Where the fuck is that asshole?! Well, it's technically
supposed to be my asshole. But someone had to be such a fucking pansy and just
couldn't take it like a real man." Sebastian angrily said, the malice present in his
voice. Blaine was supposed to be his.
"Come down to Sam's place, you know where. I'll bring you to meet him.."
Chandler looks over to the clock, it wasn't even 10 pm yet.
"I'll be down by the end of the week." And with that, the phone hung up.
Things would be better once Blaine was out of the picture. They'd be better for
Chandler, that is.
***
Blaine noticed that Kurt's front door was left ajar when he went to go say
sorry with Harry in his arms, so he just walked in.
"Kurt..?" Blaine called out into the not empty apartment, and saw that he was
curled up on the couch, asleep with a blanket wrapped around his body. He gently
shook Kurt awake, because he knew how painful it was to sleep on a couch. "Hey.."
Kurt stretched his arms above his head and yawned, then saw Blaine's face
in front of his. "Hi. I'mreallyreallysorryabouthowItreatedyou." He took one breath as
he said the last sentence, his eyes shining brightly.
Blaine shook his head, "No. It's not fair to you how I acted, so I'm sorry. Can
Harry and I stay here tonight? Where's Chandler..?"
Kurt looked down at the floor, "He left. And yes.. you can. I just want
somebody to love me." Kurt got up from the couch and tousled Harry's hair. "You
can sleep in the extra bed in Sophia's room buddy."
Kurt led Harry down the hall and had him settle into Sophia's room, pressing
a kiss to his forehead. "Goodnight." He and Blaine said in unison, before walking out
of the room. They ended up on the balcony, drinking wine that Kurt's parents got him
and Chandler. Kurt was suprised that Chandler hadn't drank it all already.
"What happened to you?" Kurt asks Blaine, wondering about Blaine's past.
Blaine looks at Kurt, and his eyes are as wide as headlights. "Nothing. Why
do you ask?"
Kurt looks at him strangely, then looks back at the skyline again, "That night
you slept in my bed, well, you kept on murmuring, don't hurt me. No, stop Sebastian.
So, what happened?"
Blaine looks back towards the skyline as well, "Nothing, okay? It's just a bad
nightmare." But it's more than that. It was my life once. He feels like adding, but
doesn't have the courage.
"If it's abuse I've been through it too-"
"Just leave it. Just leave it, Kurt." Blaine says in a monotone, not having any
feelings. What happens whenever someone brings up Sebastian. Every time
someone mentioned his ex-boyfriend, he'd hide behind the walls that he had spent
years building up. That way nothing could seep in. No hurt. No sorrow. No self-pity.
Nothing.
"Sorry..Can I give you a hug?" Kurt gets up, opening up his arms for Blaine to
step inside.
Blaine cautiously got up, he knew Kurt wouldn't do anything drastic, because
he was going through the same thing. He was starting to trust Kurt, and the very
thought terrified him. So he let himself fall into Kurt's arms. They stood like that for a
few minutes, not needing to say anything. It was comforting in an unusual but not
unwelcome way. Blaine let Kurt comfort him even if it was just for a minute. He knew
it would have to end soon, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop it.
"Kurt?" Blaine murmured into his Kurt's shoulder. He had always loved the
height difference between them. Kurt didn't say anything in response, but he didn't
need to. Blaine knew that Kurt would always listen to what he wanted to say. "Do
you think that Chandler will come back?" He asked cautiously, regretting ruining the
moment. The first good moment he's had in a while. Something told him Kurt felt the
same way.
Kurt seemed to argue with himself in his head before replying. "I wish I could
say no, but I know that's not true. I can't lie anymore. I can't cover it up anymore. I
need to face it head on. He won't come back to live here if I have anything to do with
it. But I know he'll come back and try..something. I don't know what and I don't think
I want to know what, but he will," he paused for a minute before continuing as if he
was afraid to say what he had to. "Chandler is like me in the way that he knows what
he wants and doesn't stop until he gets it.. In this case, it's a bad thing."
Blaine nodded his head, understanding. How does one reply to that? Blaine
had no idea, so he didn't. They returned to their seats and talked for a little longer
about everything from magazines to Broadway musicals-which they learned they
both had an interest for-before returning inside. Kurt fell asleep with a smile on his
face that night; a smile that made Blaine's heart flutter. They knew it had to get
worse before it got better so they were content. Even if only for a little while.

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