My old man is a bad man,
But I can't deny the way he holds my hand
And he grabs me, he has me by my heart.
He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past;
He doesn't mind I have an L.A. crass way about me.
He loves with every beat of his cocaine heart.


- - -

“Dude, just ask him!”

“If you don’t do it now, you never will!”

These were the comforting words of Blaine Anderson’s fellow Warblers as they pushed (or dragged, depending on your point of view) him towards where the infamous Kurt Hummel was seated in one of Dalton Academy’s many posh sitting areas. It was a cool, early Monday morning, about an hour before first class was to begin, and Blaine was trying desperately to calm his wired nerves and pluck up the courage to ask Kurt out. Something he had been thinking about doing for months.

It was during one of the their equally infamous parties the night before, in the midst of a drunken game of Truth or Dare, that he agreed to ask Kurt on a date first thing the next day. It was a well known fact among Blaine’s friends that he was gay and it was even better known throughout the entire school that Kurt was of the same sexual orientation. Yet Blaine still struggled against their hold; not because he disliked Kurt – in fact, one might say Blaine had a huge crush on Kurt. The two had never spoken before, though, so Blaine didn’t have the faintest idea whether Kurt even liked him or not. Kurt was the boy who barely had anything to say unless it was said in riddles and suggestive slurs; there were ones who claimed he had slept with over half of the school's population already despite only being there for five months, and the fact that the none-heterosexual percentage of the students wasn't nearly as high.

Blaine remembered the time Kurt had transferred to Dalton; it was in January - late enough in the year to be awkward, but early enough to still make friends if he was inclined to do so. Blaine heard so much about Kurt that first day, before he even saw him with his own eyes, that he was certain that he could pick him out in a crowd easily. By the way people described him, that didn’t sound like a hard task anyway - and when Blaine saw Kurt for the first time, he witnessed the truth in his peers' words.

Kurt Hummel was like no other boy Blaine had ever seen at Dalton. Even when wearing a school blazer identical to everybody else’s he still stood out like a sore thumb. He was beautiful though - that was a fact Blaine never doubted.

The first thing that Blaine noticed about Kurt was his perfectly coiffed, chestnut-colored hair - and more importantly, the pink streak running through it. He then moved his own hazel eyes to stare at Kurt’s brilliant blue ones which were at the time focused intently on the book in front of him. Macbeth. Shielding his eyes were wonderfully thick lashes and then just above them was a pair of carefully trimmed eyebrows. One of which, the left, was pierced two times with purple studs. His nose alone was nothing special but it became very much so with the metal going through the bridge. Looking further down, down towards his plump, soft-looking rosy lips, Blaine noticed another stud - a black one, which went through the middle of his bottom lip. He was later told, by one of his exasperated friends with a love for piercings but none of his own, that it was called a labret.

Blaine never thought that having a face full of piercings could ever possibly be attractive but the way he wore them just worked - and Blaine couldn’t picture his face without them. Over the next few days not only did Blaine discover the various piercings that lined Kurt’s ears which had not been visible from a front view, (the same friend with the hopeless love of piercings called them an industrial and gauges), but the hushed whispers and fervent rumours also taught him that Kurt was interested in one thing, and one thing only; sex.

It only took two weeks after Kurt’s transfer for him to be labelled by the majority of the school population as a whore. Funny thing was, most of the people who called him that were the ones that has slept with him and the list only grew larger and larger. When a couple of Blaine’s friends were added to the ever-growing record, he began learning things about Kurt that one should never find out without ever having even talked to said person. He learned that Kurt continually carried around condoms, lube, and a dildo with him, wherever he went, (Blaine was still on the fence about believing that one), and that Kurt also had many more piercings hidden under his clothes. He learned that Kurt never took anyone back to his dorm or house, always going to wherever the other person wanted, and also that Kurt never, ever bottomed. Apparently, if you weren’t comfortable with bottoming then anal sex was out of the question - although he would readily participate in other things.

Quickly it also became known that Kurt never had sex with the same person twice. It was essentially the cause of the label of 'whore' – or at least, that’s what people were led to believe for the first month. It wasn’t until Sebastian Smythe came along that people realized that it was possible to have sex with Kurt more then once, and for awhile a lot of Kurt’s old conquests tried, but it quickly became clear that the right to have sex with Kurt Hummel more then once was reserved for Sebastian, for a reason no one could ever figure out. When Sebastian joined the Warblers Blaine heard a lot of the other guys pressing him for tips and details but Sebastian surprisingly stayed very tight-lipped about it. Even more surprising was the amount of insults Sebastian continued to dish out about Kurt – although it definitely did not keep him from bragging. Sebastian never passed up the opportunity to mention that he was regularly fucking Kurt - it was just that this was as far as the bragging went.

What was even more surprising was the fact that Kurt’s roommate, Julian McKenzie, had never - not once - had sex with Kurt. Not many people believed him, for obvious reasons, but Blaine did. Blaine and Julian had always been friends, and they got along well, although they never really hung out – but Blaine knew Julian was telling the truth. In fact, it was the way Julian spoke of Kurt that really peaked Blaine’s interest in him in the first place. He told Blaine about a boy who was nothing like how others perceived him or even how Blaine had seen him.

“Seriously dude, he’s completely different when it’s just the two of us, “ Julian said one day during break, “Like, he still speaks the same, but, like, the way he, I don’t know, carries himself or whatever is the total opposite. He’s… softer. More gentle. I don’t know.”

That afternoon during English AP, the only class Blaine and Kurt shared, Blaine decided to search for the physical difference in Kurt when he believed nobody was watching – seeing it firsthand this time, not by gossip and rumours – and he wasn't disappointed. Kurt's shoulders slouched, relaxed, and his hand came up to his mouth almost self consciously. He let his guard down, and Blaine found that Julian was right; the boy with the pink-streaked hair was completely different when he believed that no one was looking, searching - judging. From that day onward Blaine kept a close eye on Kurt - and not just during English; even during break, on the off chance Kurt would not grasp the opportunity to go have a smoke, Blaine would watch him. A few times the urge to go up and speak to Kurt brought itself into Blaine’s mind but it was always quickly dismissed. Although Blaine not being able to approach somebody was odd to him - ever since coming to Dalton Blaine felt like he could talk to nearly everyone - Kurt was different. He was untouchable - unreachable. Not something to be tampered with or taken for granted.

Blaine soon became attached to Kurt in his own little quirky way. He became fond of the way Kurt seemed to read Macbeth over and over; he was always reading Macbeth. Blaine began noticing that whenever Kurt was bored he would, as if on default, begin painting his nails the usual black even if his nails were already polished to perfection. Blaine wasn’t exactly sure what it was that he was feeling towards Kurt; he didn’t want to accept that he might like him - he had never even talked to him - so he settled on admitting to himself that he was interested in Kurt in a way than the way everyone else seemed to be. Blaine assured himself that he was only interested in finding out the truth about Kurt, and it wasn’t until later that he found out how much more it all really was.

The first time Blaine heard Kurt sing was by complete accident.

He had left English class and headed up to his dorm only to realize about an hour later that he had forgotten the assigned reading task on his desk. He whined to his roommate about it for a minute before heading back down towards the classroom. The hallways were empty, but it wasn’t unusual for a Friday because almost half the school’s population went home on weekends, and many others didn’t board there at all. Blaine skipped down the stairs and turned down the left hall but stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a voice echoing off the wood and marble of the building's fancy halls. As the lead soloist of the Warblers Blaine was well acquainted with all of the guys' voices, and Blaine knew that this voice was most definitely not in the Warblers. The other thing he was certain about was that it sure as hell should have been. The pitch was higher compared to anything Blaine had heard in the all-boys school but it was also unbelievingly angelic.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blaine slowly followed the voice, which oddly led him all the way back to the English room. He poked his head in and nearly fell over on the spot as he caught sight of the now-iconic pink hair. It was like a switch flipped in Blaine’s mind. He had found something he hadn’t had any clue was even missing in the first place.

Had things been normal with Kurt Blaine was sure he would have walked straight into that classroom, tell Kurt how he felt, and kissed him. But things weren’t like that. Things were complicated beyond belief. Blaine knew Kurt himself was complicated, and he needed trust from Kurt – not to mention a real conversation with him since he wasn't even sure Kurt knew who he was. Simple friendship would be enough. And then there was the fact that Blaine wasn’t sure Kurt would exactly be up for a relationship; if the past few months were any indication, the idea wasn't very likely.

Blaine began watching Kurt even more then before. He noticed things past his secret adorableness - which wasn't even a real word, but Blaine truly didn't care since it described the boy so well - and good looks; he saw past the suggestive winks and bawdy comments. He saw sadness in Kurt’s eyes - something deeper then what was assumed of him. He even began noticing patterns with Kurt. Simple ones, such as cigarette breaks always occurring at the same time everyday, the same bottle of diet-pop everyday at lunch, and then more compelling ones - like how every Monday Kurt came into school looking like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep, (as opposed to every other day when he walked in glowing and radiant), and limping like he had gotten his ass kicked in many different ways. Even the occasional bruise would cover his jaw or temple. Blaine began thinking about it late at night in bed, imagining all kinds of scenarios that would explain why Kurt would be getting beat up every weekend. It was so consistent that it was almost ridiculous – as if Kurt's life was one big on-spot schedule.

It was only after that first time Blaine noticed this, though, that he made it a goal to always smile at Kurt. Blaine didn’t care about how other people saw Kurt or how Kurt evidently did have someone new in his bed once or twice a week. It was the singing, the raw emotion, and the sad baby blue of his eyes that made Blaine certain that there was a real person with feelings buried underneath everything. Blaine remembered what everyone thought of him at his old school, and yes, a lot of it had been true, but that just made the need for someone to show him an ounce of kindness more pronounced. So that’s what Blaine did; whenever Kurt walked into English, or passed by him in the hall, Blaine would give Kurt a genuine smile that hopefully conveyed at least a sliver of the affection that was building inside of him for the older boy he had never spoke to.

Even that day, the day after the silly party and drunken game near the end of May almost five months since Kurt’s transfer, nobody really knew too much about Kurt’s personal life - and it wasn’t for lack of trying. Blaine had managed to hear some of the things the other guys said about Kurt behind closed doors during dorm gatherings, but none of it was ever truly good besides the universal agreement that Kurt was amazing in bed. Many of the boys also claimed to hate him, though Blaine noticed that most of the ones who said that were the ones who were also rumored to have slept with him. He figured that Kurt must be pretty damn amazing in bed to cause that sort of reaction to rejection - some of the guys would rant for hours on how much they completely loathed Kurt.

Oddly enough, though, what they said didn’t take away from the now self-accepted infatuation Blaine had - if anything, it only made it grow. Blaine wanted to know him, and not in the way the other guys had. Blaine wanted to talk with him; have a conversation. He was just having troubles making that desire come true.

Even though everyone knew Blaine wasn’t the type to just sleep with someone on a whim or talk badly of another person, somehow they had figured out that he more or less might like Kurt. They teased him about it and made jokes to each other, and told each other to “Shut up and stop making fun of Blaine’s boyfriend,” which always ended in Blaine blushing up to his hairline and the rest of them laughing their asses off - so yes; Blaine did kick and scream about the whole affair of asking him out. But in truth he was more than curious about Kurt’s possible answer and a little more than scared of screwing up because of how much he desperately wanted Kurt to say yes. Thus he went along with it and mentally prepared himself as his friends gave him one final shove towards where Kurt was perched on the table instead of in the readily available chair beside it.

Kurt took up the entire wooden surface as he leaned back on his elbows, legs spread and feet planted firmly down. Blaine gulped at the way Kurt’s uniform pants hugged his thighs in all the right places, but pulled his eyes away before they could trail all the way down to his on-display crotch. Instead he forced his eyes up Kurt’s torso where the dress shirt was pulled tightly over his chest due to his position to be seen through, and the tie that fell uselessly down his side. He had his blazer on but it was open and spread behind him to fall over the edge of the table.

Blaine took a step closer, but Kurt didn’t even seem to notice Blaine as his eyes were glued to the beat-up old phone beeping away in his hand. Blaine tried not to let himself get angry at the fading bruise that was purpling Kurt’s jaw that was now visible as Blaine got closer. It wasn’t until Blaine was nearly pressed against the table that Kurt finally looked up.

Kurt’s eyes racked over Blaine slowly, starting at him feet and taking him in all the way up to Blaine’s curls. His gaze made Blaine squirm as he looked back at Kurt, waiting for some sort of reaction, but he wasn’t graced with one. Instead Kurt moved his gaze to Blaine’s eyes, and the way he looked at him like he was looking right through into his soul unnerved Blaine in ways that nobody ever had before. He was mesmerized by the blue of Kurt’s eyes - eyes deep enough to hold galaxies of stars, but bright enough to make a fool of the morning sky. Looking into them Blaine foolishly tilted his head in a trance and almost missed Kurt’s words.

“Hey cutie.”

Blaine had heard Kurt’s voice before; it would be impossible to keep track of somebody for as long as Blaine had kept track of Kurt and never hear them, but it was still like he had never properly heard it. It was high and clear like wind chimes in the spring.

Blaine realized one awkward moment too late that he was stupidly standing there with his mouth open as Kurt gazed at him with an expression somewhere between amused and expectant.

“He- Hi,” Blaine stumbled with his words. He’d beat himself up for it later. “I’m Bla-”

“I know who you are,” Kurt said with a smile and a raised, perfectly plucked and pierced eyebrow. His smile was much more genuine than Blaine was ever expecting - it was almost as if Kurt was happy to talk to him.

“Right. So, you see, I was wondering if you- if you’d maybe like to, I don’t know, get coffee sometime-”

“Blaine Warbler, there’s really no need for the formalities,” Kurt cut in with a tired, almost disappointed voice as he looked back down to his phone. “Just give me your dorm number and I’ll be there after curfew, okay?”

Blaine stood there gawking at Kurt in confusion until it finally dawned on him that Kurt must be thinking he was asking for sex.

“No, no,” Blaine hurried to explain himself, “I didn’t- well I didn‘t mean that- I just wanted to see if you‘d let me- I mean, see if you wanted to go out on-”

“Like on a date?” Blaine looked up from where his eyes had drifted to watch his shuffling feet at Kurt’s surprised tone. Kurt was looking at him with a ghost of a smile and eyes wide with what appeared to Blaine to be disbelief.

“Yeah,” Blaine breathed. He was happy that Kurt and him were finally on the same page.

“Um- uh, yeah,” now it was Kurt’s turn to stumble over his words, “I’d like that. So, uh… after school?” Kurt moved so he was sitting up with his legs dangling over the edge of the table as he stuffed his phone into the pocket of his blazer.

“Sounds good,” Blaine was suddenly feeling confident. It was hard not to when Kurt had so readily agreed and looked almost bashful himself as he gave Blaine his full attention.

“Great!” Kurt exclaimed softly as he hopped off the table. Blaine took a step back to avoid invading Kurt’s personal space, despite however much he may now want to, and watched Kurt pull his bag’s strap on his shoulder.

“I guess I’ll see you in English?” Kurt made it sound like a question, but it was more of a statement. Blaine never skipped classes and English was the only class Blaine knew Kurt never skipped. The only reason he even knew that was because it was the only class the two had together. Kurt was a year ahead of him, and although Blaine was taking many grade twelve courses, English was the only one where he and Kurt crossed paths. Both Blaine and Kurt sat at the back of the room at their own respective two-person desks, and however awkward it was, it always gave Blaine the chance to catch Kurt in rare off-guard moments.

Moments when Kurt would pull out his phone, read a text, and whatever it said would leave him smiling for the remainder of the class; moments when Kurt did his homework, and then looked so proud of himself when the teacher collected it and Kurt actually had something to give her. All of it was so contradicting to every single thing Blaine heard said about Kurt.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in English.” Blaine agreed, smiling.

Blaine eyed Kurt fondly as the older boy nodded and adorably bit his lip, then shifted his weight onto the balls of his feet for a moment before turning on his heels and walking back down the hall away from Blaine.

The response around Blaine was instantaneous. His friends whooped, hollered, clapped him on the back and high-fived; Blaine himself just stood there in a trance - not only because he had an actual date after school, but because said date was with the Kurt Hummel. It was simply surreal.

The time left before first class - English - flew by both too quickly and not nearly quick enough for Blaine. He was anxious to see Kurt again, but he wasn’t sure what he’d do when he did. Should he sit by him? Make conversation? Then Blaine remembered that this was Kurt he was thinking about - Kurt was bound to be late, which meant it would be Kurt’s decision; and since class will have already begun the idea for small talk was scratched off until their date.

Not long after, the bell rang and Blaine along with his friends parted ways and headed to their classrooms. English was the one class Blaine had where he was alone, but, well, was he really alone anymore? Or did Kurt count? Blaine wasn’t sure but he figured that Kurt must count.

Deciding not to overthink it like he did everything else Blaine walked back to his usual seat at the big table in the far left corner. He pulled off his bag and set it next to his seat as he sat down. He tried not to, but he couldn’t help but keeping his eyes fixed on the doorway, heart pounding nervously in his chest as he anticipated the moment when Kurt would come in. Even after the class had settled down and the teacher had made her way to the front of the room to call names Blaine’s eyes kept shifting back to the door. He looked up at the clock - seven minutes since class had started. Blaine started wondering if Kurt had decided to skip and then began frantically worrying that Kurt was skipping because of him and what if Kurt had changed his mind and-

The classroom door opened and Blaine’s mind stopped as Kurt walked into the room. He ignored the teacher's sarcastic greeting and usual observation of him being late as he strutted towards the back of the classroom. This was nothing different from every other day so besides a few turned heads, the rest of the students didn’t pay any attention to Kurt.

Kurt’s eyes seemed to scan the room and when they landed on Blaine a smile tugged at his lips. Blaine was surprised when instead of heading to his usual table Kurt seemed to be heading for his.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Kurt whispered as he approached. Blaine shook his head and made a show of pulling out the chair beside him and waving his hand to invite Kurt forward. Kurt ducked his head and smiled before plopping down. Blaine watched Kurt as he threw his nice however tattered bag on top of his desk and then gracefully tucked his legs underneath him to sit crossed-legged in his chair.

Blaine spent the majority of the class keeping his eyes on Kurt instead of up front. He barely heard a word the teacher said, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Kurt smelled very strongly of smoke, and vanilla, and although Blaine never had and never would smoke himself he still found the scent extremely intoxicating. Out of the corner of his eye Blaine eyed the bright pink bangs starting to already fall from their hairspray prison onto Kurt’s forehead, and his hand itched to reach out and brush it back. Even Kurt’s ear was distracting from the side view with its small gauge, shiny industrial, and cigarette tucked in behind. Later, while watching Kurt chewing on his pen while eyeing the notebook placed in his lap, Blaine nearly lost it - especially when Kurt took the pen out to write whatever the teacher had said down and unconsciously stuck out his tongue to reveal a purple tongue ring.

Blaine quickly turned his head back forward, glued his eyes to the whiteboard and tried to think about anything else besides Kurt’s tongue along with his... everything. He couldn’t help the shifting he had to do in his seat to get comfortable again with his growing arousal and he hoped it would go unnoticed by Kurt - but despite his best attempts to keep his eyes away, he sneaked a glance at Kurt and caught him smirking down at his notebook. Before Blaine had a chance to look away Kurt met his eyes and gave him a quick wink. That was it for Blaine; he crossed his legs and didn’t look at Kurt again until the bell rang and he let himself watch Kurt’s hips as he walked out of the classroom. It wasn’t until he was stuffing the untouched worksheets that he hadn’t noticed had been passed out into his bag that he saw the note.

Meet me by the front entrance after school – Kurt

Blaine gulped, shoved the note in his pocket, and hoped he had enough time to go to the bathroom before his next class.

Lunch came around quickly that day. Every class seemed to go by faster after the slow torture of English. He tried not to think about his date with Kurt after school, which was easy with Kurt never being in the cafeteria, until - of course - his friends showed up at their usual table and wouldn’t shut up about it. Blaine also tried to convince himself that this date could possibly mean nothing. That the rumours could very well be true and Kurt might have no interest in Blaine except for sex. It was hard to do that, though, when he remembered Kurt’s almost sad face when he was mistaken to think that was Blaine had been after; and then was his smile when Blaine has stated his true intentions. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, though - Kurt had a reputation for a reason - so Blaine made himself remember those argues whenever his thoughts got out of control for the rest of the day.

When the final bell rang, announcing dismissal for the day, Blaine was more nervous than he had been that morning. At least that morning the worst that could happen was Kurt turning him down - now he had a real chance to screw up if Kurt did like him, and a real chance to get his heart broken if Kurt didn’t and just wanted to hook up.

Blaine forced himself to head over to the front entrance, though; he wanted to take a detour to drop off his bag and blazer, but he didn’t want to be late. Not that they had set a precise time, but Kurt didn’t seem like the type to stand there waiting for very long before losing patience and walking off, so Blaine kept his pace brisk. He brushed past everyone in the hall, muttering 'hello’s and 'excuse me’s and trying his best not to shove.

When Blaine finally caught sight of Kurt he was sitting on the steps by the entrance and it looked like he was trying to light a cigarette. Blaine’s eyes locked on his hands, and instead of feeling disgusted at the act Blaine was hypnotized. Without Kurt looking at him Blaine was able to watch the smooth, pale skin move over the bone as his black polish covered nails flicked away at the light. Kurt’s eyes flashed with light as each flicker caused a spark. When the stick finally lit Kurt looked up while stuffing his lighter back in his blazer to meet Blaine’s now smouldering eyes.

Kurt brought his hands up to his mouth and exhaled smoke as he said with a teasing smirk, “There you are.”

Blaine ducked his head, chuckled lightly, and opened his mouth but closed it again, unsure how to respond.

“Ready to go?” Kurt asked with raised eyebrows as he shouldered his bag.

“Yeah,” Blaine answered almost too quickly, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Kurt smiled in amusement but didn’t say anything as he turned to lead the way off the grounds. Blaine jogged a few steps to catch up, and once he was walking beside Kurt he took notice to the height difference. It may not have been big - Kurt only had about an inch or two on him although it looked like more with his coiffed hair - but it was still enough that when they were close Blaine had to glance up to see Kurt’s brilliant blue eyes.

“So, where to, Mr. Warbler?”

Blaine looked over but Kurt was facing forward as he spoke around the cigarette dangling from the side of his mouth.

“I was thinking that we could go for coffee at the little shop down around the corner,” Blaine said, mentally congratulating himself for keeping his voice steady.

Kurt nodded and exhaled out of the corner of his mouth away from Blaine before saying, “Yeah, coffee sounds good. I didn’t have time to get one on the way to Dalton this morning.”

“I thought you boarded.”

Kurt side-glanced Blaine and took a drag, “I go home on weekends,” he explained simply.

“So why were you running late?”

“Slept in.”

Blaine wondered if Kurt was as nervous as he was. He tried not to think about the fact that maybe Kurt just wasn’t interested in anything but the prospect of sex; surely he wouldn’t have agreed if that was the case. Blaine had told him what he wanted.

They walked in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all which surprised Blaine. They walked close, their shoulders barely brushing, and Blaine inhaled the apparent permanent smell of cigarette smoke radiating off of Kurt long after he had crushed the butt under his shoe.

The air was crisp and cool - the humid whether that came with summer had not yet arrived in that month of May. It was after five o’clock when Blaine finally caught sight of the coffee shop nestled in the corner of the intersection up ahead. It was that peaceful time where it was too late to casually call it afternoon but too early for evening either.

Blaine saw Kurt out of the corner of his eye, reaching into his bag most likely for another cigarette. He wanted to say something - he hated people doing that to themselves, and especially people who could sing - but Blaine hadn’t told Kurt that he had heard him in the classroom that day so many weeks ago.

“We’re almost there.”

Kurt stopped his search to look at Blaine who was giving him what was almost a look of disapproval. He looked forward and his eyes landed on the coffee shop which made him take his hand out of his bag and straighten up. He didn’t say anything but Blaine was sure he could see the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.

The café wasn’t anything special. The best place for coffee in Ohio, in Blaine’s opinion, was over an hour drive away - the Lima Bean. He only went there for special occasions and on weekends when he wasn’t busy and felt up for the drive. This place was good enough, though; a lot smaller than the one in Lima, only holding a few tables, but it was cozy.

Blaine lucked out by walking on the inside of the sidewalk so he was able to open the door for Kurt without looking like he was trying too hard. Blaine always liked doing things for people - making them smile. But there was something in the way Kurt looked at him – the way he didn’t even smile, just stared softly for a moment - that made Blaine feel both sad and happy. Sad that Kurt looked genuinely surprised, like nobody had showed him common courteously in a long time, and happy that it was him who finally got to show him some.

Kurt stepped into the café after a beat of uncertainty with Blaine on his heels. Thankfully the place was quiet - the only people who seemed to be here were the old couple in the corner and a woman behind the counter. Blaine knew exactly what he wanted to order, so he stepped up and turned to wait for Kurt but was surprised when Kurt came right up with him.

“What do you want?” Blaine asked kindly. He almost leaned in to nudge Kurt’s shoulder playfully but thought better of it; he knew he had to tread carefully.

“Grande non-fat mocha,” Kurt replied instantly without even looking up to the chalkboard menu. Blaine blinked but didn’t say anything; he just turned to the old woman behind the counter and repeated Kurt’s order along with his own medium drip.

Blaine looked back towards Kurt when he felt him shifting and saw him again looking through his messenger bag. He was pretty sure, though - at least he hoped - that Kurt wasn’t getting a cigarette.

“Don’t even think about it,” Blaine chided teasingly.

Kurt looked up with a strand of pink hair falling onto his forehead and Blaine’s hand itched to brush it back, but Kurt’s hand beat him to it before he spoke.

“What?”

“Like I’m going to let you pay,” Blaine shook his head with a smile, “It’s on me, dummy,” he concluded with a wave of his own wallet.

Kurt stood up straighter and then smiled a small cautious smile, and it was so beautiful that Blaine had to look away. He paid for their coffee without another word, a blush on his cheeks, handed Kurt his cup, and then led them to the table next to the window.

The sun was halfway down in the sky and was just starting to emit on orange glow. Blaine felt like that it was now that he should probably start some light conversation, but he was hypnotized with the dust motes swirling around Kurt slowly then whooshing past when he whipped his head to look out the window the sound of a truck passing. Kurt kept his face turned towards the window and Blaine looked out to trying to see what he was looking at but kept getting distracted by Kurt’s reflection.

“What are you looking at?” Blaine whispered curiously.

“The sun,” Kurt whispered back without looking at Blaine, “I like watching it go down.”

“Why’s that?”

Blaine wasn’t sure why they were whispering but for some reason, the atmosphere between them was too soft to break it.

Kurt finally looked him but then turned back when he spoke. “Nearly one hundred thousand people die in their sleep every night. I don’t want to miss my last sunset in case I happen to be one of them.”

Blaine wasn’t exactly sure what the right response to that would have been. He just knew that Kurt’s tone was hauntingly wistful and in that moment he was sure he had never heard anyone speak so honestly.

It was because of this insight that he was taken by such surprise when Kurt jerked back around and put on a mischievous grin as he eyed Blaine and held out his hand. Blaine stared at the hand caught completely off guard and unsure what Kurt wanted him to do.

“Give me your bag,” Kurt ordered with a teasing tone and an attempt at an innocent face.

“What for?”

“Just give it to me. It’s nothing bad.”

Blaine eyed him suspiciously, hopefully conveying a warning as he went over the bag's contents in his head, before reluctantly handing it over.

Kurt grabbed it greedily and without any explanation grabbed hold of the zipper and opened it.

“What are you-” Blaine tried to protest sternly but it was hard with Kurt looking like he was opening a Christmas present.

Kurt looked up and then reached down to grab his own bag which he promptly threw across the table to Blaine.

“Kurt-”

“Open it. See what treasures lie inside,” Kurt explained with a secretive giggle as he looked back down into Blaine’s bag.

Blaine just stared for a moment with Kurt’s bag in his hands. He watched as Kurt took out his travel size bottle of hair gel, looked up to shoot him a smirk, before putting it back in and continuing. Suddenly, Blaine grasped the concept. It was a game but also a way to learn about each other without going through the awkward stumbling of conversation. What they found would do more talking then they ever could and probably make conversation between them anyway.

Blaine finally unclipped Kurt’s bag as he saw Kurt take out his notebook for school. The bag was Marc Jacobs and was a lovely shade of brown - almost the same color as Kurt’s hair but not nearly as rich. From what Blaine had heard from his friends about what Kurt carried around, he was a little nervous to stick his hand in it, but curiosity won out in the end.

He pulled out a variety of things. Some normal, some surprising and some not so surprising. The old, banged up Nokia phone Kurt had been using earlier, a Pac-Man lighter, nearly empty box of cigarettes, bottle of black nail polish, silver iPod Classic, pack of Juicy Fruit… Blaine realized that the further down in the bag he went the scarier it got. He found four condoms with Hello Kitty wrappers and a half bottle of lube. It must have been obvious what he had found from the look on his face because he heard Kurt chuckle and looked up to see him watching him. Blaine quickly retracted his hand from the bag and kept it out until Kurt looked away and back into Blaine’s bag.

It took a moment for Blaine to calm his racing heart but he reined it in and fingered the sides of the bag until he felt a zipper. In the side pocket Blaine found the copy of Shakespeare’s Macbeth that he had watched Kurt read countless of times. Blaine quirked an eyebrow as he looked at Kurt from under his eyelashes.

Now it was Kurt’s turn to flush as he felt Blaine’s stare and looked up to see the book he was holding.

“You like Shakespeare?” Blaine questioned in underlying amazement.

“Yes,” Kurt answered.

“May I ask why?” Blaine asked as he turned the book over in his hands, no longer meeting Kurt’s eyes, “I haven’t read it myself but most people seem to hate it.”

“Well, that’s exactly it,” Kurt said louder then before which Blaine look up, “People claim to hate it without ever having even read it… But then of course there are those who have read it and still hate it, but still…”

“You’re full of secrets, aren’t you?” Blaine murmured, putting the book back.

“A few,” Kurt muttered. Blaine’s furrowed his brow at the bitter tone but let it go.

He zipped up Kurt’s bag as Kurt did the same with his and was just about to hand it over when he noticed a long, slim bulge in the front. His hand drifted down to what appeared like a pocket in the front and he was just about to brush it with hand when Kurt’s voice cut him off.

“I wouldn’t touch that if I were you, even through the pocket. From the hand sanitizer I found I’m guessing you’re a pretty clean person and probably wouldn’t appreciate getting what’s in there on your hands.”

Blaine looked up at Kurt in confusion and Kurt raised an eyebrow. Blaine looked back down at the bag, back up at Kurt, back down at the bag, then suddenly remembered a conversation from a long while ago and it dawned on him. The realization only made him flush yet again and he shoved the bag across the table towards Kurt.

Kurt laughed quietly under his breath before giving Blaine his bag back as well.

They finished their coffee in content silence, watching the people passing by the window and only glancing up when the old couple finally exited, before looking at each other shyly and then back out the window.

Just as Blaine was considering checking the time himself Kurt beat him to it once again. He pulled out his phone and clicked before standing up.

“Let's go,” Kurt said with that same smile of his as he reached down to pick up his bag.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly six. Come on, I want to show you something.”

Intrigued, Blaine got his stuff and picked up his cup to throw out on the way, while Kurt left his cup on the table and waited by the door for Blaine.

Kurt led Blaine further down the street away from Dalton; after two blocks Blaine began to get less suspicious and just eager to know where they were going. When Kurt finally walked away from the sidewalk ahead of him Blaine hurried to catch up, hopeful that Kurt seemed to have found what he was looking for, but only became confused when he found that what he turned down into was an alley.

He had brief flashes of Kurt murdering him here and nobody finding his body until tonight when some drunks stumbled upon him. All of his doubts flew away, though, when Kurt turned to him with an encouraging smile and waved him forward. Once Blaine was close enough to see the black of Kurt’s eyebrow piercings Kurt turned away and began climbing the metal stairs pressed against the graffiti covered, brick building. That was when Blaine realized it was the fire escape.

“Where are you going?” Blaine asked, placing a hand on the cold, rusted railing.

“Follow me and find out,” Kurt replied cheekily without stopping.

Blaine huffed in fake annoyance but began climbing without verbal protest. Luckily, the building wasn’t horribly high, only three-story tall, so it didn’t take them long to get to the top. Blaine peeked his head over the side of the roof to see Kurt already lying down on the rooftop with his hands behind his head, looking completely at ease. His pink hair had taken on a weird tinge with the falling sun but it didn’t matter as it blew in the soft breeze.

Kurt turned his head and Blaine could see the beautiful color of his eyes twinkling.

“Well, come on up then,” Kurt mockingly demanded.

“Are we even allowed up here?”

“Probably not.”

Blaine gaped at Kurt but obeyed and told himself not to look down as he stood up and walked away from the edge towards where Kurt lay. He couldn’t help peaking out to see the tops of buildings spreading out far in his sight and Blaine made himself look away before he got too freaked out. It was already an internal conflict of how close to spread out next to Kurt but Blaine ended up opting for putting about three inches between them once he was fully laid out.

After a minute of silence Blaine became puzzled.

“Now what?” He asked with a turn of his head.

Blaine hoped Kurt would turn his head as well to look at him, so their noses may brush but Kurt never seemed willing to give him what he wanted.

“Now we wait,” Kurt said without taking his eyes off the sky.

“Wait for what?”

“A star.”

“A star?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

Blaine looked back up but he wasn’t really paying attention to the sky. He was too mesmerized by the close proximity of Kurt which allowed him to smell, with the cigarette smoke starting to fade but not fully go away, the distinct smell of coffee and the slight scent of what could be vanilla.

It took about half an hour of Blaine nearly being put to sleep by Kurt’s calm breathing and lulling scent before Kurt lurched beside him, pointed towards the heavens, and exclaimed, “Look, a star!”

Blaine smiled fondly and opened his eyes to, sure enough, see a subtle sparkle in the sky.

“What happens now?” Blaine murmured sleepily, closing his eyes again. “Do we wish on it?”

“I don’t wish on stars,” Kurt said as Blaine heard the thump of what had to be his arm falling back onto his chest.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re millions of years too late. The star is dead. Just like any dream I could ever wish for upon it.”

Blaine frowned, opened his eyes, and turned to look at Kurt whose expression hadn’t changed a bit.

“That’s pretty morbid,” Blaine observed.

“That’s reality,” Kurt sighed. “Come on, we better get back. I have to go home after we walk you to Dalton to get something.”

“I could just go with you,” Blaine offered as he sat up with Kurt.

Kurt looked him quickly and hurried to stand up and brush off. “No, no. My dad will most likely be home,” Kurt said with a smile - although, Blaine noticed, it didn’t make his eyes crinkle like before.

Blaine cringed. “Oh! Well, yeah, okay. Good point.”

They climbed back down the fire escape - Blaine went first this time - and without thinking he offered his hand to Kurt once he reached the bottom to help him down the last few steps. Blaine froze and was just about to drop it and apologize when Kurt did something that surprised him; he took it. Kurt reached out and accepted the offered hand, and although he didn’t grip it or laced their fingers together - he just placed his palm on top of Blaine’s - it was still a huge leap of what Blaine hoped was progress.

Kurt’s hand was nothing like Blaine had thought it'd be, but everything he could have wanted. It was cold, oddly so for the month, but it was soft too; too soft for a man of eighteen.

Kurt pulled away quickly once he was on solid ground and exchanged a shy glance with Blaine before they started walking back towards Dalton. They walked further apart than before and the silence may have been a little less comfortable, but Blaine barely noticed as he replayed the entire date in his mind, over and over and over again. He didn’t even notice where they were until he titled his head towards Kurt only to see that he wasn’t beside him anymore. He looked back to see Kurt a good ten paces back with his arms folded and an amused eyebrow lifted as he exhaled smoke from a cigarette Blaine didn’t remember him lighting.

“Where are you off to?” Kurt chuckled.

Blaine laughed at himself before walking back with his hands in his pocket.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” He asked again, not just to be polite but because he really didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

“Positive,” Kurt replied in a clipped tone that told Blaine to say nothing more on the subject.

“We should do this again,” he said instead.

“When?”

Blaine didn’t even think before blurting out, “How about tomorrow?”

Kurt looked almost shocked at Blaine’s eagerness and Blaine struggled to take it back.

“I - I mean you probably have other-”

“Tomorrow works.”

Blaine looked up to see Kurt still looking shocked but not quite the same way as before.

“R-Really?”

“Yeah,” Kurt nodded as he threw his cigarette to the ground. “Yeah, tomorrow's great.”

Blaine was smiling to broadly that he wasn’t sure his face would ever go back to normal. He stared longingly at Kurt’s lips, trying not to think of the cold metal of Kurt’s labret against his tongue and then he really tried not to think about poking his tongue in further to feel Kurt’s tongue ring. He knew that it was wasn’t the right time to kiss Kurt, though. Not yet.

“Tomorrow,” he agreed before shuffling quickly past Kurt, to avoid saying anything inappropriate, and heading through the main gate towards the school.

Blaine still wasn’t sure what to make of Kurt Hummel, but he knew for sure that it was more than what everybody else did.

- - -

Kurt pulled his blazer tighter around his body as he walked away from Dalton and Blaine towards home. He checked the time on his phone his phone - 7:33 p.m.; that meant he had to walk quickly to not only make it back to school before curfew, but to get in and out of his house before his dad got off work. He really wasn’t in the mood to run in with him. He felt too light - too carefree. He wasn’t sure if it was happiness, though. He liked, Blaine, he really did, but there was too much worry still there. Worry that maybe Blaine didn’t really like him like he said he did, wasn’t genuine not matter how much it seemed like he was. Kurt was content to go along with it for awhile even if he wasn’t, though. Just the opportunity to pretend that someone wanted to know him; get to know him-him -and not just that his body was enough to make him giddy in a way if knew he never should be.

Kurt wasn’t going to deny that he liked all the sex he got, though - because he did; and not just for some weird emotional reason like control either - although that was some of it - but simply because it felt good. Really good. He could never do it more then once with the same person, though. If Kurt feared anything it was feeling something strong for somebody, and with what sex usually meant when it came to connections and feelings Kurt was walking on a thin line. He took all of the necessary precautions to make sure that he would not get attached. It worked great, for a while. For weeks after he got to Dalton sex came easy and without baggage. Life wasn’t great, it never was, but those few moments of pure pleasure were enough to make Kurt forget, even if just for a little while.

That was until, of course, Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian was an unanticipated flaw in Kurt’s plan. He started out like the rest of them – except that he wasn’t shy and beating around the bush about what he wanted from Kurt. He wasn’t even nice to Kurt. On the contrary - Sebastian was really rather rude, telling Kurt he had a 'gay face' and ruthlessly insulting his clothes. In the beginning, Kurt wasn’t sure what exactly to make of Sebastian. All he knew was that he didn’t like him one bit, not at all. He didn’t like Sebastian and despite his easy reputation he refused to sleep with him. Kurt couldn’t understand it. Sebastian acted like he hated him but in-between insults would slip in lewd comments involving Kurt’s dick up his ass.

It took Sebastian a month to get what he wanted. Kurt had been having the worst day ever. He had had a bad encounter with his dad the night before and then had slept in the morning after which caused him to forget his cigarettes and had him running towards Dalton trying to make the bell. He didn’t make it. He was a good block away when he heard the obnoxious ring. Defeated, Kurt slowed his pace to a casual walk, not even caring anymore or watching where he was going. That was what caused him bump into Sebastian right outside the main gate. The sudden impact caused Kurt to stumble before a sure hand reached out to grab his wrist and steady him.

“Watch where you’re going.”

The voice, although near unrecognizable with its angry tone instead of its usual suggestive edge, was enough for Kurt to rip his wrist away like he had been burnt and glare up at Sebastian.

Kurt rubbed at his forearm absently as him and Sebastian just stared at ach other for what seemed like forever. It was almost as if the other’s anger was calming them down.

Finally, Sebastian blinked and ducked his head before looking back up wearing the smirk that Kurt was now so used to seeing and suddenly the tense air was gone and for some odd reason the familiarity of the expression and the total dismissal of what had just passed between them relaxed Kurt. It wasn’t really a good kind of relaxed though - Kurt was calm but not content. It was more of a 'fuck it' attitude.

Then, it was that exact fuck it attitude that made him follow Sebastian, after the boy not-so-subtly jerked his chin in a way that was asking Kurt to follow him.

They went back to Sebastian’s, exchanging their usual banter the whole way, and then went through his empty house and up to his room where they spent the whole day fucking. Sebastian seemed a little reluctant to let Kurt top the whole time but soon realized that Kurt would in no way budge on the subject so he let it go with an annoyed sigh and several complaints.

It was after that day that Kurt and Sebastian began having regular sex every week. Sebastian wasn’t looking for a relationship and still hated Kurt, and Kurt realized that his hatred towards Sebastian was absolute and so had no fear of attachment. The arrangement worked out pretty well all in all.

Kurt snapped out of his thoughts as the cold air made him aware of the fast departing sun; he had lost himself in his thoughts and so he made his feet move faster. He pulled his phone out and clicked it so it would display the time again; 7:47 p.m. His dad always got home a little after eight; he’d have to hurry to avoid running into him. Luckily, Kurt could see his house now as he turned into his street.

His house wasn’t anything special, just a simple two floors and lawn. His parents weren’t rich but they were in no way struggling. His dad was a lawyer and his mom a secretary, and they were hardly ever home during the week. But, then again, neither was Kurt.

Kurt walked briskly up the thankfully empty driveway as he fumbled with his bag to find his keys. He had to stop mid-way up the steps to finally find them and then made quick work to get the door open.

The inside of his house looked like a doll house - everything in its perfect place. The building smelled of cleaner and fragrance and after five months Kurt still didn’t think of this place as home. He ran up the stairs after catching the time on the clock on the wall, 7:54 p.m, and burst into his room as he frantically began moving things around looking for the extra box of smokes he had bought last week.

Kurt’s room was nothing like his old one. His old room had been decorated to perfection when he was twelve with the help of his mother. His favourite CD’s and movies had lined the wall and his vanity had been filled with various make-up fixings and moisturizers.

Nowadays, his room was just a single bed covered in an old quilt and pillow, not even a sheet covering the mattress, and piles of boxes labelled and filled with his old life. There had only been one box Kurt had completely unpacked and that was the one holding his clothes. Everything else had only been taken out when needed and then usually just put back in after.

Kurt found his cigarettes under his pillow, where he had just started recently hiding things that he didn’t want his parents to see but yet knew he had anyway, and turned to bolt when he heard the loud sound of gravel crumbling under slow moving tires. Someone was home. Kurt rushed over to his window and pulled back the ugly curtain in time to see his father, Walter Hummel, step out of the car. Kurt’s heart lurched into his throat. He would give anything to be anywhere but here. It was a God given blessing to board at Dalton through the week and only have to see the man on weekends, and the fact that he was only back here now because of his addiction to tobacco made Kurt curse himself. He felt sick and panicked, the kind of horrible feeling one should only get when in a horror movie, and Kurt seriously debated somehow getting out through his window. It was a debate he had had with himself many times before, though, so he stomped his foot angrily like a child at his absolute rotten luck and tried to be as quiet as possible as he made the journey back down the stairs once he heard the startling slam of the front door. His father would hopefully think that he just forgot to lock the door this morning instead of assuming correctly that Kurt was there.

Kurt heard nothing as his foot hit the last step and for one fleeting moment he thought that maybe he could make it out without his dad noticing, the door was right there, but it was, of course, too good to be true. Just as his right foot followed his left onto the hardwood floor his father rounded the corner from the living room.

They stood there staring at each other, not at all unlike his odd encounter with Sebastian before their first time, and Kurt almost just walked out when Mr. Hummel spoke.

“What are you doing here?” His tone wasn’t accusing. It was annoyed and almost bored.

Kurt knew he wouldn’t be able to speak without his voice trembling so he settled for holding up the pack of cigarettes in his sweaty hand.

His father made no further comment. He came forward and Kurt held his breath as he came close enough to Kurt that they were nearly touching and Kurt closed his eyes as his dad brushed past him and headed up the stairs.

Kurt listened to the heavy footsteps and then the closing of a door, most likely the door to the study, and waited for a good minute in the silence before letting out a big whoosh of air. He tried not to notice that his hands were trembling or that he was shifting around like he wasn’t sure what he was even doing there.

Kurt just walked out the door, closing it softly behind him, and waited until he was off his street before letting the tears fall.

TBC