While cocooned in multiple blankets on his bed that felt overwhelmingly isolated, Kurt was going through the emotions that any normal human goes through when they are tumbling down the rabbit hole of regret. He was pretty sure he had gone through them all in the dreadful month he’d been away from the love of his life, Blaine. Just thinking his name made Kurt’s eyes glisten with tears. The whole month that they had been apart Kurt’s eyes had not stayed dry for longer than a couple of minuets. Kurt was depressed. He had not left his home since returning from the coffee shop that day or spoken to a single person, only the man who delivers his shopping on a weekly basis, and that was only a mumbled “thank you”. Kurt had been left countless amounts of texts and voicemails from the people he loved all asking ‘what happened’ and ‘please let us know your okay Kurt’ mainly from his dad, Rachel and Santana, being his former roommates for the good part of two years. He knew that hiding himself away was the worst thing to do and the guilt he felt for causing his dad tremendous amounts of stress (considering his heart problems) made him nauseous. However he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. Kurt had let his fear consume him. 

Months before Kurt ended his relationship with Blaine his life had slowly begun to deteriorate. He had started to notice differences in his personality while going about his daily routine. He found he couldn't get on the subway without having a panic attack which resulted in him having to restrict himself from activities his friends and fiancé would be doing, causing drifts in their relationships, also he had to change his route to NYADA, which complicated his whole schedule, making him permanently frustrated. Kurt had always been keen on having his own personal space, but if anybody accidentally grazed arms with him while walking around the halls of NYADA or the streets of New York, Kurt’s whole body would tense and he would start to feel like he was suffocating. Now the worst thing for Kurt was he knew that feeling like this could have been resolved by talking about it. Unfortunately for Kurt, he had the tendency to cut himself off from the people he loved when feeling down to protect them. Ever since Kurt was a child his greatest fear was causing other people stress, pain or worry, as a result of this he had adapted himself to automatically shut off from others and hide his pain, this only made his fears that were bottled up inside him escalate to the point where they were all he could feel. His fears had cost him the love of his life. 

Kurt couldn't stand that he was the person who had caused Blaine pain. When ending their engagement, Kurt tried to avoid looking at his fiancé, starring intensely at his coffee cup the whole time, but once he broke. When he looked at Blaine he saw the man he loved falling apart because of him and it broke his heart into a million pieces. Not only had Kurt ended their relationship, he cut him out of his life completely, and because of what? Anxiety? Kurt had never felt so stupid in his entire life. Kurt had two scenarios of Blaine’s life running around in his head right now. He could either be depressed like Kurt was or have finally realized that he was too good for Kurt and moved on to have a much happier life without him. Both made Kurt want to curl up in a ball and never see another day. If he had not made the enormous mistake of leaving his fiancé, they would currently be on their honeymoon. Canceling the wedding was like being stabbed by a thousand knives every time he called someone to cancel the venue, caterers or flowers. All he ever wanted was to be Blaine’s husband but he gave him up out of fear which came out of nowhere. This was his life now, Kurt knew he had to accept that he did this to himself and managed to hurt everyone he loved in the process, especially the person that he saw as his future.  He had to accept the consequences and let Blaine, the love of his life, be better off without him.

3 weeks later

It was the week before halloween and Kurt was still in the apartment which he and Blaine had shared. It had almost been two months and Kurt was still wallowing in self pity, which he felt he had every right to do considering he had destroyed his life. Due to Kurt’s depression and the fact that he had missed two months of school, Carmen Tibideaux had kicked Kurt out of NYADA. He had no education, no family, friends or his beloved fiancé, all Kurt had was multiple tubs of ice cream to try and numb the pain.

Kurt removed himself from his sofa halfway through Moulin Rouge, when he could no longer control his emotions and his need for Blaine, and made his way to the shelves behind the sofa with his blanket wrapped around him. Once he had shuffled over, Kurt reached up to get a box off the top shelf and then made his way back over to where he had been sitting. The box that he held contained all his memories of his spectacular life with Blaine; bundles of photos of them together, the ring Blaine made Kurt for their first christmas as boyfriends and many more precious things Kurt had collected along the way. Fresh tears began to fall and Kurt could feel the immense longing he had for Blaine begin to take over his body. Placing the box on the table, Kurt stood up again and walked over to Blaine’s wardrobe. Over the last two months, Kurt had been surviving of Blaine’s clothing to feel close to him and was starting to run out of clean clothes that still smelt like Blaine. While getting one of his few T-Shirts off the shelf he accidentally knocked something onto the floor. Looking down at his feet were the objected had fallen, Kurt saw that it was a video tape which was labeled ‘For future Blaine’. Shocked and rather curious about the video tape that he had never encountered while organizing Blaine’s clothing (which was an activity he enjoyed throughout their relationship, even before living together), Kurt picked it up and walked back over to the TV, inserted the tape and pressed play. 

Blaine’s face automatically appeared on the screen and Kurt’s entire body paused.

“Okay so this is a little weird to say but…um…Hello Blaine…Hello me ” 

Kurt had not seen Blaine talk in almost two months and had lost whatever control he had left over his emotions. Blaine began to speak about how they would be watching this at their 50th High School Reunion and how they were all ‘pushing 70 years old but that’s okay because he had been injecting stem cells into his skin for years, which meant he still looked exactly like himself now, so well played future him’. 

“Typical Blaine”, Kurt laughed to himself through his tears.

“Your also sitting next to your famous husband, Kurt Hummel, the wildly successful, beautiful…um…star of the galaxy…” Blaine rambled on with pure love in his eyes that made Kurt’s heart explode. 

“…But I love you future Kurt, or possibly your second husband, Tom Hardy…hey future Tom Hardy…”

Blaine continued talking but everything he said after ‘I love you future Kurt’ was unheard. Kurt was frozen and couldn't think of anything else he could possibly do but run to Blaine. Who knew that those three little words would push Kurt out of the darkness he was surrounding himself in, back in the direction of his one true love. 

Kurt jumped out of his seat, ran into his bedroom and frantically began to throw clothes in to his suitcase, not even worrying about them having to be ironed and folded neatly to avoid creases like he normally would. Once he was packed, he went on to his computer and booked the earliest flight to Ohio on that day. He couldn't wait a moment longer to tell Blaine how foolish he was and he had never regretted a decision more in his life. This was it. Blaine was his forever and Kurt wanted nothing more to be sitting at that 50th High School Reunion by Blaine’s side, where he should have been all along.