On the 15th of August Blaine went over to Kurt’s house in a brand new long-sleeved shirt that had a line diagonally from hip to shoulder, black on the bottom and a really dark blue on top. Kurt is going to LOVE this shirt. He was also wearing a pair of fitted black jeans and a pair of white dress-shoes that Kurt had picked out for him. Blaine had bought a bouquet of sunflowers that he was hiding behind his back. He rang the bell and waited. The door opened before Blaine even had time to take a step back.

“Hi Blaine!” Kurt’s smiling face said.

“Hello, love. I brought these for you.” Blaine said and moved the bouquet of flowers from behind his back.

“Oh, Blaine. They are beautiful!”

Kurt took the flowers and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

“I thought you might think so. You should put them in water before we leave.” Blaine smiled.

“Where are you taking me?” Kurt asked and went inside to find a vase to put the sunflowers in.

“It’s a surprise.” Blaine answered and followed him inside the door. “You look gorgeous.”

Kurt was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black v-necked t-shirt with a silver print on it, in the shape of an engagement-ring. His hair was flawless - as it always is - and his skin seemed even smoother than usual.

“Thank you. It is kind of casual, but I know you like that, so…”

“I really do.”

“Those jeans look good on you. And I see you took the shoes I picked out for you. That is sweet.”

Blaine just smiled at Kurt, who put the vase on the living room table.

“I’m ready. Let’s go.” Kurt said and brushed some imaginary dust off of his shirt.

Kurt locked the door behind them and they got in Blaine’s car. While Blaine drove to the five-star restaurant a bit outside of Lima, Kurt asked where they were going about seven times. Blaine told him every time that it was a surprise and that he had to wait. When Blaine parked the car outside the restaurant Kurt squealed.

“This place is SO expensive Blaine. A dinner here costs the same as an apartment!” Kurt said.

“I think you are exaggerating. And you know that is not an issue. I want to spoil you tonight.”

“Oh, I am not complaining.” Kurt smiled.

Blaine got out of the car, put a finger up toward Kurt to make him stay in his seat while Blaine walked around the car and opened the door for him. Kurt blushed and got out, taking the hand that Blaine held out toward him. They walked inside the restaurant and were greeted by a man in a suit behind a counter.

“Andersons.” Blaine said.

The man in the suit led them through the restaurant and out the back, onto a wooden deck with vines growing up the walls and through a net above. You could see the dark sky through them though. We are going to be able to see the stars if we stay here for a couple of hours... They were seated at a small table in the corner of the deck. No one else was eating outside so they got to be completely alone. The man in the suit walked back into the restaurant and a waitress passed him on her way out to them. She handed them a menu each and disappeared back into the restaurant.

“That was nice.” Kurt said without opening his menu.

“What was nice?” Blaine asked a bit confused.

“Referring to us as “Andersons”.” Kurt answered and blushed.

“Ah, yes. Yes, It was.” Blaine smiled.

“So, is that something you are planning on doing in ten years?” Kurt said with a flirty smile and opened his menu.

“No.”

Kurt looked like he was about to die of sorrow.

“Oh, no honey. No, no NO! I mean that I was l planning on referring to us as “Hummels”.” Blaine explained and reached his hand out to Kurt.

Kurt took it and Blaine saw a tear escape his left eye.

“Don’t cry baby. I want you, forever. I want to have your name.”

“Because you don’t want to have a homophobe’s name?” Kurt asked and wiped at is cheek with his free hand.

“Because I want everybody to know that I am yours.”

Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand and smiles, another tear escaping his eye. “You’ve thought about that?”

“Of course I have. I want to spend my life with you. I can’t imagine not seeing or talking to you every day.”

Kurt just smiles and they get interrupted by the waitress.

“Are you gentlemen ready to order?” she asked.

“Not quite yet.” Blaine said and gave her a dapper smile.

“Drinks perhaps?”

“We’ll have two glasses of water.” Kurt said and gave the waitress an equally dapper smile.

The waitress walked back into the restaurant and Blaine and Kurt actually looked at their menus. When she came back Blaine ordered duck for the both of them. If Kurt wants duck then I will order that too, he knows what things to eat. The waitress came back after just a minute to serve them their water.

“How come we are eating here instead of buying an apartment?” Kurt jokes as she leaves again.

“You know what day it is today.” Blaine says, repeating what Kurt said a month ago.

“Our five month anniversary.” Kurt said.

“Yes, which is why we are on a date today. It is also the reason why I am buying you a tasty dinner.”

“Do you have something planned for after dinner?”

“Perhaps... You’ll see.”

After they have eaten their main course they order a piece of cheesecake to share.

“This is going straight to my hips.” Kurt says and looks sadly at the cheesecake.

“I doubt it. Anything unhealthy you eat will probably go to my hips instead. You are so good with health stuff. And I’d love you even if it did.”

After Kurt has taken the first bite he changes his tone.

“Oh my GaGa! I should eat this every day.”
“That might be excessive. Then it won’t be as good as when you eat it like once a year.”

“I doubt it. Not if I make it myself.”

Blaine giggles. When they have eaten the cheesecake, the stars are visible above them.

“Look at the stars Kurt!” Blaine says and points to the sky after standing up to leave.

Kurt stands up and then looks up.

“That is Andromeda.” Blaine says and points. “You showed me that.”

Blaine has moved to stand beside Kurt. He interlaces their fingers and Kurt looks back down at him. He smiles wide.

“Are you ready for the next part of the date?” Blaine asks.

Kurt nods and they walk through the restaurant hand in hand out to Blaine’s car.

“Do you know why I bought you sunflowers?” Blaine asks as they get onto the freeway.

“I have my suspicions.”

“Remember when we were at the flower shop to buy a bouquet for Mercedes?”

“Yes?”

“You said that you didn’t want to buy her roses, because everybody always gets roses…”

“And that if I ever were to get flowers from a guy I would want something special.”

“Exactly, and you later told me that you love sunflowers since your mother used to plant them in your parents’ garden.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course I do.”

“Blaine, you are such a sweet person.”

Blaine blushes and stops the car outside a small, shaggy building.

“What is this place?” Kurt asks.

“You’ll see.” Blaine says and gets out of the car to open Kurt’s door and offer him his hand again. “I haven’t actually been here myself, but Jeff said it is great.”

They walk inside the small wooden door between a pair of windows with colored glass and enter what looks like a library. This is perfect!

“A library?” Kurt asks and raises an eyebrow at Blaine.

“Library slash café.” Blaine says and smiles.

They walk up to a tiny white-haired lady behind a small glass counter.

“Good evening gentlemen.” the tiny lady says.

“Good evening. I would like a coffee and a piece of carrot-cake.” Blaine says and smiles at the lady.

“What about you , love?” the lady says and looks at Kurt.

“Oh! I want… A coffee and maybe…” Kurt starts.

He looks at the plates with different kinds of cookies and cakes on them.

“I think I will have some carrot-cake as well.”

“Excellent choice! You gentlemen sit down and I will be over with your order in a minute.”

“Blaine, this place is adorable! That lady was adorable. She didn’t seem bothered about us at all.”

“No, she didn’t. Jeff told me that she loves to see couples in love visit her café, ANY couples.”

“So… How does this work?” Kurt asks and looks around at the shelves with books and the small tables spread out in between some of them.

“We sit, eat and read if we want. And talk, a lot. But I have something special planned.”

They sit down at a table between two shelves of books that seem to be about history.

“Oh, oh! Tell me!” Kurt says and nudges Blaine’s leg with his foot under the table.

“I’ll tell you when we have gotten our coffee and cake.”

“But, Blaine!” Kurt whines.

The tiny lady walks past the shelves where they are sitting.

“Ma’am, we are over here.” Blaine says with a raised voice, but still very gentle.

The lady peeks in between the shelves, a tray in her fragile-looking hands.

“I’m so very sorry, gentlemen. I didn’t see you there. These old eyes are starting to give up on me.” she says and put their mugs and plates carefully on the table.

“Oh, we understand. Don’t worry about it.” Blaine says and smiles at her when she straightens up.

“What is your name, ma’am?” Kurt asks.

“My name is Lilly. What about you, fine sirs?”

“My name is Blaine and this is my boyfriend Kurt.” Blaine says.
“It’s a pleasure. I hope you enjoy.” Lilly says and walks off.

“Adorable.” Blaine and Kurt say at the same time.

“So, will you tell me now?” Kurt asks about fifteen minutes later when they have eaten their cake and drank their coffee.

“You have no patience, Kurt. But I will tell you.”

Blaine pulls a small lavender note-pad and a black pen out of his pocket. The look on Kurt’s face is so puzzled that Blaine has to chuckle.

“We are writing notes.” Blaine whispers.

“For what?”

“To leave in the books, for future readers.”

“Oh, I like that idea. What should we write?”

“Nice things. Let’s both come up with things and you will write them, because your handwriting is so much nicer than mine.”

 “Sure.” Kurt says and grabs the pen that Blaine is holding out toward him.

“It will get better, I promise.” Blaine suggests.

“That is good.” Kurt says and writes it down. He puts the piece of paper aside. “What about… You don’t need this book.”
Blaine chuckles. “What book do we put that in?”

“The bible or something.” Kurt shrugs.

Blaine chuckles again. “How about… You are gorgeous.”

After an hour or so there are about fifty different notes in a pile on the table. The boys giggle, whisper and kiss a lot while sticking the notes in the different books. They put some encouraging ones in diet-books, books about people going through hard times and books about gay teens. They put some funny ones in all kinds of books, bibles included. They put a few cute ones in books for children and books about pregnancy, parenthood or babies. When they are done they grab their mugs and plates and walk over to the lady - Lilly - behind the counter. She grabs their things and put them on some kind of metal table with wheels.

“Kurt. Blaine. Did you enjoy yourselves?” she asks when she turns around to face them.

“Very much. This is a wonderful place, we will be sure to visit more times.” Kurt says and smiles warmly at her.

You are so perfect…

“How much do I owe you?” Blaine asks and takes his wallet out.

Kurt squeezes Lilly’s hand and walks over to one of the windows to look closer at the colors of the glass. Blaine pays and walks over to him.

“Ready to go home?” Blaine asks and wraps his arms around Kurt’s waist.

“Which home?”

“Mine. Aunt Sarah is at work and Lorily is with her dad.”

“Very ready.” Kurt says and wiggles out of Blaine’s grip.

When Blaine opens the door to his home Kurt steps past him and into the living room.

“So, should we watch a movie? What do you feel like doing?”Blaine calls out as he puts his keys in the bowl on the small table by the door. He gets no response so he walks into the dark living room.

“Kurt?”

When Blaine turns on the lights Kurt is shirtless on the couch.

“You! Come here.” Kurt says in a husky voice.

Damn! Oh… He is absolutely gorgeous.

Blaine starts to unbutton his pants as he walks over to Kurt who has sat up slightly on the sofa. Kurt gives him a downright filthy look and helps him tug his pants off. Blaine lies down in between Kurt’s legs on the sofa.

“You are amazing.” Kurt growls and graces his teeth across Blaine’s neck.

“I take it you enjoyed yourself tonight?” Blaine asks and chuckles.

“I did, very much. You are the sweetest person to have ever lived. I want to hug and kiss you forever. I want us to make love and I want us to fuck. I want to marry you and have babies. I want to grow old and die together.”

“Oh, that sounds like a good plan. Let’s start with the kissing, shall we?” Blaine says and grabs Kurt’s chin to tilt it up toward his own face, away from his own neck.

The kiss is soft, gentle and filled with love.

It turns dirty fast though, and Kurt starts to whine. Blaine shifts so he has one leg between Kurt’s and one on the right side of Kurt’s body. Kurt starts to move his hips, grinding his erection into Blaine’s leg. Blaine starts doing the same while they kiss.

After a while Kurt pulls away. “I need these pants off, like yesterday.”

Blaine laughs lightly and gets off of the couch. Kurt has his pants off before Blaine has even stood up straight.

“Oh! How do you do that?!” Blaine asks in awe.

“Shut up and strip, Anderson.”

Blaine removes his socks and boxers as Kurt does the same. Once again, Blaine hesitates but pulls his shirt off. It’s dark in here...

“You look like a Greek God!” Kurt exclaims. “Bedroom perhaps?”

Blaine grabs Kurt’s hand and walks toward the bedroom, but stops near the door.

“Something wrong?” Kurt asks.

Blaine pushes his body against Kurt so he is stuck between Blaine and the wall. Blaine starts kissing his shoulder and running his hands up and down Kurt’s sides.

“Nothing, but I want you now. The bedroom is too far away.”

Kurt shudders and then hums in agreement. He tilts his head back against the wall as Blaine kisses across his clavicle. Blaine starts to suck the skin there lightly.

“You like… Mark- marking my… My clavicle…” Kurt whispers.

“Yes, it’s delicious!” Blaine says and giggles slightly.

Blaine nudges Kurt’s chin with his forehead and Kurt tilts his head forward so they can kiss. Their lips dance together and their hands roam everywhere. Suddenly Blaine grabs Kurt’s ass. Kurt gasps and bites down a bit too hard on Blaine’s lower lip. Blaine bends down slightly to grab the back of Kurt’s thighs, right about the knee and pulls. Kurt gasps again.

“Blaine!” he exclaims.

Kurt wraps his legs around Blaine’s body, Blaine holding him up against the wall firmly.

“I love you.” Blaine whispers in Kurt’s ear, which makes Kurt shudder again.

“Please, Blaine.” Kurt whines. “Let’s skip the lube, just make love to me now, please!”

“I’ll go really slow.” Blaine says and shifts a little.

Kurt can see Blaine’s muscles flex as he lets Kurt move down the wall a tiny bit while Blaine also stands up on his toes. Blaine enters Kurt really slowly, but Kurt is usually fine with very little or sometimes no lube at all. He wraps his arms around Blaine’s neck and Blaine move his hands up over Kurt’s back and grabs onto his shoulders. Kurt starts to moan and move against Blaine. After a while they move away from the wall without even noticing. Kurt comes first, but only a breath before Blaine. Kurt holds onto Blaine for dear life and Blaine carries him into the bedroom.

They snuggle on the bed for a while and then shower together, with the lights completely off. “It’ll be more fun that way!” Kurt insisted. The boys talk while they dry off and then gather their clothes from the living room, bringing them into the bedroom. They put on their sleeping-clothes incase Blaine’s family will come home before they wake up. Blaine falls asleep while being the little spoon. Kurt is awake for a few minutes after he hears Blaine start to snore silently, tracing abstract patterns on his stomach and sniffing his hair.

Two days later Kurt has brought Blaine back to the playground where they first met. Blaine is wearing one of his long-sleeved shirts once again, even if the sun in basically frying anyone who goes outside. They sit shoulder to shoulder in the shadow on a bench, holding hands.

“Blaine. I have to ask you something.” Kurt says and let’s go of Blaine’s hand to sit on one of his legs, facing Blaine.

He wraps his hands over each other nervously on his lap. Blaine copies his sitting position.

“What babe?” Blaine says and searches for eye contact with Kurt, but he refuses to meet Blaine’s eyes.

Oh, God! What is he thinking? Please look at me!

Kurt is silent for a while but finally looks up to meet Blaine’s eyes. “What is it with you and long-sleeved shirts?”

FUCK! Blaine chuckles awkwardly.

“What kind of a question is that?” he says and scratches the back of his neck.

“A serious one.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I like them.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Kurt snaps. “I like purple, but do I wear it every damn day? Or on our important dates?”

“No…”

Now Blaine is the one refusing to make eye contact.

Why is he so angry? “Are you angry at me?” Blaine asks.

“As a matter of fact I am. Please, enlighten me Mr. Anderson. What is so amazing about long-sleeves that you have to wear them every day?”

Shit, shit, shit! “They are warm, comfy and look good on me. You said so.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear anything else.”

“I don’t get why you are so angry, it’s just clothes.”

“Just clothes? You do realize who you are talking to, right?”

“I do. But I don’t feel like talking to that person anymore.” Blaine says and gets up from the bench.

Blaine storms off, without looking back at Kurt. You don’t understand! Why don’t you understand? Why can’t you see? Please just understand! Please just see!

Blaine jogs all the way back to Sarah’s apartment, grabs the mail and slams the door shut behind him, since he knows no one is home. He is so angry that he doesn’t even bother locking the door. There is a red envelope on the top of the pile of mail. He sees his first name on the front and rips it open, throwing the other mail carelessly on the kitchen table. His phone vibrates in his pocket, but he ignores it.

Inside the envelope is an equally red note.

I see you sitting with him on the bench over there right now. Next time I’ll slit his throat.

The message is written with a thick black marker. Blaine drops the note on the floor and runs into his bedroom to get his pencil-case from the wardrobe. He runs into the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door.

Shit! That fucker! He is never touching Kurt, NEVER. I will KILL him, with my bare hands!

Blaine sits down, ripping the scalpel out and drags his sleeve up. He pushes the scalpel into his skin, dragging it across his left arm. Blaine’s hands are shaking. His eyes are filled with tears, blurring his vision. The flood of red makes him blink rapidly, so he can see properly. He is bleeding more than he has ever done before. He looks in panic at the cut and sees that it is really deep, and long. He has cut too deep.

Blaine is already feeling dizzy. He grabs a towel from the hamper on the floor next to him and wraps it around his arm, pressing it against his shirt. He can feel the warm liquid soak through the towel and his shirt. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m gonna die, this is it! I have to… KURT! He must know I love him. Blaine uses his right hand to pull his phone out of his pocket. He has four missed calls from Kurt. He hits re-dial. Kurt picks up immediately.

“Blaine! I’m sorry. It isn’t that big of a deal. Please come back and talk to me!”

“Kurt. I love you. I need you to know that, no matter what happens, alright?” Blaine says in a rushed voice into the phone.

“What? Blaine? What are you talking about? Are you at home? What are you doing?”

“I’m dying Kurt. I’m bleeding. But I love you. Okay?”

“WHAT?!” Blaine can hear the sound of Kurt’s shoes thumping against the asphalt. “I’ll be right there! What happened? Talk to me, Blaine!”

“I love you.” Blaine whispers into the phone.

He can feel his eyelids getting heavy and the wetness on his chest has spread across his stomach and he can feel in creeping down his legs. He looks down at the floor between his legs and the tile is covered with his blood. He gasps and closes his eyes again. Wait, Kurt?

“BLAINE! I WILL HANG UP AND CALL AN AMBULANCE RIGHT NOW! Okay, babe? JUST STAY AWAKE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
Blaine has never heard such panic in Kurt’s voice. “I love you.” Blaine whispers again.

Blaine can hear the phone falling to the floor, a slight splash as it lands in the pool of his blood. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the tub, lifting his arm into the air with all the power he has left.

“Kurt… Kurt... Kurt… I love you, Kurt. I love you. Kurt…” Blaine whispers into the air.
“BLAINE! WHERE ARE YOU?!” Blaine can hear Kurt shouting from the living room.

“Bathroom…” Blaine whispers.

“BLAINE! Oh, there you… OH MY GOD, BLAINE!” Kurt shrieks.

Blaine opens his eyes to see Kurt kneeling beside him.

“Your pants will get ruined…” Blaine mumbles.

“What did you DO?!” Kurt yells and grabs Blaine’s arm.

Kurt unwraps the soaked towel from Blaine’s arm, seeing the deep cut. Blood is pouring in a steady stream down Blaine’s arm. “OH MY GOD! WHERE IS THAT AMULANCE?! Baby, look at me! I love you, keep looking at me. Don’t close your eyes!”

Blaine focuses his eyes and realizes they are pointed to the floor my Kurt’s knee. He lifts his head to see Kurt grabbing another towel off of the hanger on the wall. Kurt wraps it around Blaine’s arm, lifts it high into the air and presses hard with both of his hands.

“Tell Lorily I love her. But, Kurt… Kurt, I love you. Never forget that.” Blaine whispers and smiles at Kurt.

“Stop that! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! LOOK AT ME! Blaine, I will not tell her! You will do that yourself! Keep looking at me. Babe, babe!”

Blaine can hear the ambulance outside.

“They are here!” Kurt exclaims. “IN HERE! THE BATHROOM!” he shouts at the paramedics.

Blaine hears boots against the floor of the apartment.

“Can I close my eyes now, Kurt?”

“NO! Look at me!”

Two medics storm in and grab Blaine. He can feel it, but it is just a huge blur in his eyes.

“Kurt… I love you.” he whispers before everything goes black.

“BLAINE! Blaine!”

Blaine opens his eyes. He can see the metal ceiling of the ambulance and hear the sirens. He tilts his head slightly and catches sight of Kurt. He is gorgeous… Blaine blinks a few times. Kurt has blood on his shirt and in his hair. Red and clear liquids are smeared across his face. Blaine realizes there is warmth on his cheeks. Kurt is holding Blaine’s face with both of his blood-covered hands.

“Kurt… Am I in heaven?”

“No, babe. You blacked out for a while, please look at me!”

Blaine realizes he is watching the red-stained fabric of Kurt’s pants. He lifts his head again.

“They are giving you blood right now. Stay calm and awake. Look at me!” Kurt shouts.

Blaine opens his eyes again.

“I love you.” he whispers again.

“I love you too, please stay with me!”

His tears are streaming even faster than my blood did…

“Please don’t cry baby, I love you.” Blaine says, voice a bit stronger.

Blaine once again wakes up to the beep of a monitor. He doesn’t open his eyes. I’m alive. Oh God, I’m not dead! Kurt…

“Kurt?...”

“Oh, dear God! Blaine, baby!” Blaine hears Kurt voice.

He feels warm hands on his cheeks. Blaine opens his eyes to see Kurt’s now clean face, wet with tears.

“You scared me so much! I don’t know what I would have done without you!” Kurt rambles and presses his forehead against Blaine’s, keeping his hands on Blaine’s cheeks. “Sarah is on her way. I didn’t tell her what you did. But we can talk about that later. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!”

Kurt showers Blaine’s face with tiny kisses. Blaine smiles weakly.
“I love you too.”

Sarah arrives when Blaine has fallen asleep again.

“He cut his wrist open. It looked like he has done it many times before. There were so many lines…” Kurt whispers to Sarah in the corner of the room, where they are seated in a pair of chairs.

“Oh, dear…”

“They gave him blood and stitched his arm up. He will be fine.” Kurt continued.

“He has said nothing to you about this? That is so like him, bottling everything up. I’ll get him into therapy. Don’t cry, Kurt.”

Blaine listens silently. He can feel a tear slide down his cheek.

Blaine gets out of the hospital the next day and Sarah drives him home. She has talked to Lorily’s dad so that he will have her for another day. During the car-ride Sarah informs Blaine that he is going to therapy and that he can talk to her about anything, anytime. Blaine sits silently in the back seat, his not bandaged hand in one of Kurt’s.

“I won’t force you to talk to me, though. But you need to talk to someone, Blaine.” Sarah says and looks at him in the rearview-mirror. Blaine nods.

When they get back to the apartment Blaine stops on his way to his bedroom, Kurt still holding his hand.

“Should I clean the bathroom?” Blaine calls out to Sarah who is in the kitchen.

“No, no honey. I have a professional coming over in about an hour to do that. You shouldn’t even look inside there.”

Blaine looks at Kurt who has said nothing for a long while. His pale face looks even paler and it has a faint tint of green.

“Babe, are you okay?” Blaine asks Kurt, who is looking at toward the bathroom door.

“No. No, I’m not. But let’s go to your bedroom and talk for a while, or snuggle or something.”

“Boys… Come here.” Sarah calls from the kitchen.

The boys look at each other in confusion then walk into the kitchen. Blaine sees that Sarah is holding the red note Blaine had gotten. Crap!

“What the hell is this?!” she asks and gives Blaine a serious but frightened look.

Blaine looks at his toes. “I got that right before I… Went into the bathroom. I panicked.”

“What is it? What does it say?” Kurt asks and let’s go of Blaine’s hand to step over to Sarah and read the note.

“Honey, maybe you shouldn’t read this…” Sarah protests but Kurt has already read it. He stiffens.

“Kurt, honey. Don’t worry about this. I’m sure the police can do something. There must be prints on this or something. They’ll get him.” Sarah rambles and puts the note gingerly on the table.

“Kurt, let’s go.” Blaine says and holds his hand out toward Kurt.

Kurt grabs it and they walk silently toward the bedroom. Kurt stares intently at the ceiling when they pass the bathroom, but Blaine peeks through the slightly open door and he can see the pool of blood on the gray tile. Blaine closes the door behind them when they reach his bedroom. Blaine lies down on his back on top of the covers. Kurt snuggles up to his side and puts his hand on Blaine’s hipbone jutting out from the sweatpants Sarah had brought to him in the hospital.

“I’m not worried about the note.” Kurt breaks the silence.

“I am.” Blaine states.

“They’ll get him, and put him in jail. We will avoid the playground and we’ll move far away when we finish school.”

“Yeah…” is all Blaine can think of to say in response.

They lay silent for a while. Blaine can feel the fabric of his white t-shirt get wet on his chest. Kurt sniffles.

“Why didn’t you talk to me, Blaine?”

“It’s complicated.”

Kurt grabs Blaine’s bandaged arm and pulls it from Blaine’s side up to rest on his stomach. Lots of lines are visible above where the bandage stops about mid-lower arm. Kurt brushes his thumb across them. “I know it is. But did you think I wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t care?”

“I know you would have. But… I just… One of the reasons I have been doing this to my arm…”

“To yourself.”

“To myself… Is that I didn’t want to bother anyone else with my problems.”

“That is stupid.”

“I know, Kurt.”

“Do you not want to talk to me?”

“I do, Kurt. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I just… Don’t know what to say, where to start…”
“You said one of the reasons… What are the others?”

“Sometimes I do it because I am angry or sad. Sometimes because I am lonely or scared. Sometimes I do it because I want someone to notice, to care. Sometimes I do it to punish myself. Sometimes because I don’t know what else to do with my feelings. Sometimes I do it because I panic, like this time… But sometimes I need to do it to calm down or to feel that I am still alive.”

“Did you ever do it because you actually want to die?” Kurt asks silently after a moment’s consideration.

“In the beginning I thought that was the reason, but I later realized it wasn’t. After a while I did actually do it because of that. But since I met you I have wanted nothing else than to live.”

Kurt smiles weakly at that. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand and then continues to rub his thumb across Blaine’s arm.

“How long have you been doing this?” Kurt asks, his voice just above a whisper.

“I started when I was fourteen.”

Blaine hears Kurt try to hide his gasp. They are silent for a long while.

“Blaine… Why are some lines crossing the other ones?”

“These ones…” Blaine points with his other hand at the faded lines going along his arm. “I made these for you…”

Kurt sits up. “What do you mean “for me”?!”

“When I first met you, you were going through a really tough time. I felt pain for you, with you…”

“Have you been doing this the whole time we’ve been together?”

“I stopped when we started dating. Began again about three months in, after the stabbing…”

“Do you think the therapist will help?”

“I do. I have some things I need to get off my chest. And now I can talk to you if I feel the need to… make lines...”

Kurt lays down again. “Where did you get that scalpel, Blaine?”

“I took it from my dad, back when I lived there. I hid it in a pencil case, on the top shelf of my wardrobe so Lorily wouldn’t find it.”

“I get the long-sleeved shirts now…” Kurt says after a few minutes of silence.

Blaine chuckles. “Yeah. I will stop wearing them around you if you are still bothered about it.”

“Wear whatever you are comfortable with…”
“I can continue to wear them, since I assume you don’t want to see the lines...”
“I don’t particularly want to, but I like your arms.”

“I’ll still wear long sleeves to school though.”

There is a knock on the door. “Boys, do you want pizza for dinner?” Sarah asks as she peeks her head into the room.

“We do.” Blaine says.

The police find Blaine’s father’s fingerprints on the envelope and note. They put him in jail for threatening another person’s life.

Kurt follows Blaine to the hospital to remove the stitches a few weeks later. He also comes with him to some of his meetings with the therapist.

Blaine never cuts himself again.