Tuesday the 17th of April 2012

Blaine was too afraid to say anything and Kurt just looked at him, his eyes still wet from crying.

"You do?" Kurt finally said and sniffled, his eyes filling up with tears again. "You love me?"

"Of course I do." Blaine breathed, carefully but surely.

"But I'm dead." A tear escaped Kurt's eye and slid slowly down his face.

"Kurt, we've been through this. You are alive to me. I can see, feel, hear and touch you. It doesn't get more real than that. And I love you, I really do. It's okay if you don't feel the same way about me, tough."

"I haven't even let myself think that far."

Blaine dried the tear off Kurt's cheek and started singing a quiet song to him. He hadn't even finished it before Kurt had passed out. Blaine kissed his forehead and smiled.

Friday the 20th of April 2012

The past couple of days Kurt hadn't been able to think about much else than Blaine's love-confession, even momentarily forgetting about the reason the two boys were now spending so much time at Blaine's house. He was now crying both about his father's "abandonment" AND the combination of Blaine loving Kurt but Kurt being dead. Now that he had thought about it he had realized that of course he loved Blaine too. He just wasn't sure what this meant, how their future would look; if they even had one. But Blaine needed to know, Kurt though. These past few days since Blaine had told Kurt he loved him must have been horrible for him. To bare his feelings that way and not getting the same response back. But Kurt knew that Blaine had said it because that was the way he really felt, and that he hadn't said it just to get attention or pity or something.

Kurt sat in the armchair in Blaine's bedroom while his boyfriend was finishing off the dishes from tonight's dinner. It was rather late; Blaine had gotten some studying done before his meal, so darkness had now started to fall outside the big windows.

When Kurt heard Blaine turn the faucet off in the kitchen he closed the poetry-book – that he had been absently staring at while he thought about all the things going on in his "life" at the moment – and put it back in the shelf, sitting down on the edge of the bed just as Blaine entered the room.

"Hey." Blaine greeted his boyfriend and smiled. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Kurt said and lay down on top of the covers on the bed. He gestured for Blaine to come cuddle, and Blaine did. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's chest and instantly relaxed. He traced abstract patterns on Blaine's t-shirt while listening to his breathing and the beat of his heart.

"You sure you're okay?" Blaine asked softly and ran his hand up and down Kurt's back.

"Uh-huh." Kurt mumbled back before twisting a little so he could gently kiss Blaine's neck. He imagined that he could feel the warm tingling Blaine always talked about that he felt when they touched skin on skin. But Kurt didn't know if he could actually feel it or if what he felt was just what Blaine's presence did to his brain. He followed the curve of Blaine's neck and kissed his clavicle.

"Kurt?" Blaine sounded unusually hesitant. "What are you doing?"

Kurt lifted his head to meet Blaine's eyes and smiled. "I love you."

"Really?" Blaine's face shifted from uncertain to giddy and happily nervous.

"Really. When I gave myself permission to think about it, it was obvious." Kurt leaned forward a little and kissed Blaine on the lips, a bit more passionately than he had planned.

But Blaine seemed to like it, if his own passionate response was anything to go by. Kurt readjusted himself so that he was straddling Blaine, kissing him like he was about to disappear forever.

Blaine could not believe this was happening. The boy he loved actually loved him back. That Kurt was "just" a spirit gnawed at the back of Blaine's mind, but he couldn't care less at the moment. His lips were on fire from the contact with Kurt's and an odd sensation swooped through his stomach. He wasn't sure if it was happiness because of what Kurt had just said, if it was nerves because they had never been this close in this way before or if it was the way Kurt felt weightless but still solid on top of him. Blaine felt cocooned by the heat that Kurt's body emitted. The hot tingles seeped into Blaine's skin and spread all over his chest and down his legs. Blaine's brain had stopped working so he just threw his arms around Kurt's neck and kissed him with all the passion he had in his body.

The boys' frantic kissing halted when Kurt leaned back, blushing to the tips of his ears but with a dark glint in his eyes. He started pulling at Blaine's t-shirt, and it took Blaine about ten seconds to realize what Kurt's intensions were. Kurt leaned back further and started removing his cardigan as Blaine watched on, neither of the boys reflecting on what would happen when the spirit-clothing-item left Kurt's spirit-body. Blaine proceeded to remove his own t-shirt and tossing it on the floor before leaning back and watching as Kurt's cardigan and undershirt fell to the floor in a heap next to his own. Blaine's eyes stayed on the slightly see-through garments for a moment before he looked back at Kurt; his pale chest looking like it was faintly glowing in the dark room.

Before Blaine had time to admire Kurt's upper body more, the brunette had leaned down to kiss him again, their bare chests now pressed against each other. The sensation was so intense that Blaine whined loudly, squirming a little under the fiery touch of his boyfriend's skin. Kurt just continued to kiss Blaine, who was so overwhelmed by his feelings the grabbed a stronger hold on Kurt and kissed him more fiercely in half-frustration, half-relief. Kurt buried his hands in Blaine's curly hair and moved slightly; their chests rubbing against each other, creating more friction and heat.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." Kurt mumbled darkly between kisses.

Blaine just panted with his eyes squeezed shut. A growl of passion turned into another whine, and Blaine felt tears pooling in his eyes. He opened them to look at his boyfriend and a couple of tears spilled over and slid down his temples into his ears.

Kurt leaned back, horrified. "Blaine? Are you okay?"

"It burns." Blaine replied shamefully and Kurt quickly scrambled off of him and picked his clothes off of the floor, beginning to put them back on.

"I'm so sorry!" Kurt croaked, tears forming in his own eyes as well. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Kurt's face crumbled and he stepped back toward the door.

"No, come back here!" Blaine said and wiped away his tears with the back of his wrist. "It's okay. It was just too much at once." He reached his hand out toward Kurt, and Kurt slowly walked toward him while buttoning up the last buttons on his cardigan. "But it's just something I'll get used to, okay? It was amazing, though!"

Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping some distance between them but holding firmly onto Blaine's hand. "I got carried away. I'm sorry."

"I liked it, even though it was a bit intense. But don't let this scare you off. I want to do that again, but we can try in smaller doses." Blaine smiled and scooted toward Kurt. He kissed him softly and stroked his cheek.

"Your chest is all red." Kurt mumbled guiltily, looking at his hands on his lap.

"I'm sure I have some Aloe Vera or something in the bathroom. I'll be fine." Blaine showered Kurt's cheeks in tiny kisses and Kurt couldn't help but smile too.

"I love you." Blaine said, looking happier than ever.

"I love you too." Kurt replied, feeling happier than ever.

Sunday the 29th of April 2012

The boys had been back at Dalton for almost a week now, since Kurt had refused that Blaine stay away from school any longer. Blaine had been busy catching up for the past week, having classes all day and studying all evenings and sometimes nights. The first day back Kurt had decided to tell Blaine he was going for a walk to think, but in reality he sat below the tree outside the building and cried. He had tried to make sense of Blaine's last talk with Burt, and Burt's reasons for and against giving up on having any contact with Kurt. But no matter how much he thought about it, it didn't make any more sense to him. He could understand all the possible reasons that Blaine had suggested the past weeks, but he just couldn't UNDERSTAND.

Kurt hadn't cried today. While Blaine was studying for the final chemistry-test he was taking the following day, Kurt had gone outside to sit under the giant tree. But no tears had come today. He sat watching his hand, clenching and unclenching his fist.

Blaine heard footsteps stop outside his dorm room and looked toward the door. Suddenly Kurt came walking through it, without opening it.

"I got it!" he exclaimed, hurriedly sitting down on the desk next to Blaine's splayed out books and notes.

Blaine removed his glasses and folded them on top of his notebook. "Got what?" he asked confusedly.

"How to be solid, and then not solid! The mental button your grandmother told me about!" Kurt smiled wider than Blaine had seen him smile since his father's phone call a few weeks ago.

Blaine smiled back. "Show me." He turned in his chair, looking directly at his boyfriend.

"Okay, now." Kurt stood right in front of Blaine. "Not solid." Kurt lifted his arm and slammed it down toward the surface of the desk, but it went straight through. "Solid." Kurt continued to lift his arm, this time stroking his index finger down the side of Blaine's neck slowly. Blaine hummed at the tingling warmth seeping into his skin. "Not solid." Kurt repeated the gesture and this time Blaine shivered.

"That's great, Kurt!" Blaine smiled, rubbing absently at his neck.

"Not look at this!" Kurt walked over to Blaine's bed, standing beside it. "Not solid." he walked straight through the bed to the other side. He looked at Blaine and grinned. "Solid." Kurt walked backwards until his legs collided with the bed and he fell backwards, landing on top of the bed with a small huff.

Blaine stood and walked over. "How did you do it?" he asked as he lay down next to Kurt, his legs also dangling off the bed.

"I went for a walk and sat under that big tree, just thinking. I started looking at my hand and realized I hadn't practiced it for a long time. So I walked into the forest and tried walking through trees, picturing a big green button with the inscription "solid" on it. So I mentally pressed it and it worked perfectly!"

"I'm proud of you." Blaine smiled. Could you do it again?"

"Sure. Why?"

"I just want to try something."

"Not solid." Kurt mumbled and looked expectantly at Blaine.

Blaine lifted his hand and tried to brush Kurt's cheek, but it went through it. It was so strange. Blaine could see both Kurt and his hand at the same time. "Now be solid."

"Solid."

Blaine did the same thing again, this time stroking Kurt's warm skin. "Again." he commanded and Kurt mumbled "Not solid.". This time Blaine just looked at him. He could see Kurt clearly, but he seemed to be slightly see-through since Blaine could also see the dark blue duvet under him. "Again." Blaine blinked, and suddenly he couldn't see the duvet through Kurt anymore. "Wow." Blaine mumbled.

"Wow, what?" Kurt lifted an eyebrow.

"When you're not solid, you are slightly see-through."

"That's creepy." Kurt commented and frowned.

"It's cool." Blaine grinned and kissed Kurt's forehead.

Friday the 4th of May 2012

"Blaine?" Kurt asked as his boyfriend flipped a page in his science-textbook.

"Yes?" Blaine replied, keeping his eyes on the book.

"Could we go to mom's grave today?"

Blaine turned around by his desk to look at Kurt, where he sat in his armchair looking out the window at the drizzling rain. "Of course. Any special reason?"

"Today it has been ten years since she died. I know I can see her now, but still…" he trailed off.

"You have a tradition?" Blaine suggested. "Sunflowers, I presume?"

"You know me so well." Kurt turned his head to look back at Blaine now, smiling ever so slightly.

"Then let's go." Blaine smiled and stood, starting to put on his shoes.

It had stopped raining by the time the boys stopped at the flower shop so Blaine could buy a sunflower; and by the time they reached the cemetery the sun was peeking through the clouds.

"You want some time?" Blaine asked as he parked the car in the empty parking lot by the graveyard.

"Just ten minutes." Kurt said, and Blaine leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

Kurt took the flower and got out of the car. He followed the little path toward the stone. As he stood by it he was hit with a weird sensation. He shivered as he read his own name on the stone, pushing away the vision of his dead body in the ground below his feet. He carefully laid the flower down by the marble stone and then sat down next to it, leaning his side against it.

"Hi mom." he whispered. "I know it's stupid for me to still talk to you here, but like Blaine said: it's become kind of a tradition." He took a deep breath. "I can't believe it's been ten years since you died. It feels like so much longer, but so much shorter at the same time. I know now what it's like for you, and I'm so glad I got to see you again, even if I had to die for that to happen."

Kurt walked back toward the car smiling. Blaine smiled too at the sight.

"You have a good talk?" Blaine asked as Kurt got seated in the car.

"I did." Kurt smiled and buckled his seatbelt.

Sunday the 27th of May 2012

"Happy birthday to you…" Blaine sang quietly as he carried the cupcake with a lit candle toward his boyfriend who was sleeping on the bed. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Kuuuuurt!" he sat down heavily on the bed, Kurt yawning and slowly opening his eyes to look at Blaine. "Happy birthday to you." Blaine smiled and held the cupcake out toward Kurt.

"You know I can't eat that right?" Kurt mumbled as he sat up.

"But I can!" Blaine chirped. "Make a wish!"

Kurt thought for a moment before blowing out the candle. "Thank you, Blaine. Do enjoy."

"Thank you, yourself." Blaine said and removed the wrapping on the pastry. "What do you want to do today? Anything you wish!" Blaine took a big bite of the cupcake. "Oh, this is repulsive! Be happy that you don't have to eat it." He grinned and licked frosting off his lips.

"Lucky me." Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I don't know. I didn't really make any plans for my birthday. You know, since I'm dead and all."

"Come on!" Blaine whined, taking another big bite. "We can visit the zoo or the park."

"I would have thought you already had a master plan, considering what happened at Christmas."

"Oh, I have a plan. But that's for later. The day is free for you to plan." Blaine grinned before finishing off the cupcake.

"Could we go see a play? At the theater?"

"Of course! Which one?"

"Any. It's just been sooo long since I saw one."

"Sure. I have all my studying done, so we can leave right away if you want."

"One of the good things about being dead: you don't have to get ready in the morning."

Blaine bought two tickets at the theater even though Kurt protested, but that meant that Blaine could hold Kurt's space so he could watch the play in peace without anyone trying to sit on him. Kurt very much enjoyed it, and babbled happily about it as they got in the car and Blaine drove them to the destination of his own plan.

Blaine stopped the car in front of a regular-looking villa with a big yard, but Kurt didn't question him. Blaine stepped out of the car and Kurt followed him up to the door of the house. A middle-aged woman answered the door after Blaine knocked a couple of times.

"Hello. My name is Blaine Anderson, I booked an appointment yesterday." Blaine smiled politely.

"Oh, right. Nice to meet you." The woman shook Blaine's hand and gestured for him to come inside. "They are in the big room to the left.

Kurt heard weird noises coming from the room, but followed Blaine in there anyway.

"Puppies!" Kurt squealed as they entered the room.

Blaine grinned at Kurt and nodded. "Samoyed." he replied and opened the gate to the little pen, stepping in and closing it again. A litter of fluffy, white puppies ran toward them and Blaine sat down to pet them. Kurt sat down as well, his stomach swooning from the happiness only the sight of puppies can bring you. But he noticed the way the puppies didn't acknowledge him and his heart sank a little. He watched his grinning boyfriend play with the dogs, and smiled again. That's when Kurt heard a small whine behind him. He turned his head toward the sound and noticed a lonely puppy lying on the floor not far from him. "Hi puppy." he tried, reaching his hand out toward it. The puppy looked at him and stood. He walked over slowly, sniffing in the air. When he stopped right next to Kurt's knee, Kurt reached his hand out toward it so it could smell him. The puppy sniffed his hand then just looked at it for a moment before licking it happily. So Kurt started petting the puppy, grinning so much his cheeks hurt.

"Remember not to pick him up. Puppies don't fly." Kurt turned to look at Blaine who was grinning as well, with a lap full of furry puppies.

"Have you gotten to know each other a bit?" The lady from the front door entered the room behind them and Blaine turned to face her.

"We have. They are all adorable!" Blaine stood up and picked up the puppy that Kurt had been petting. "This is definitely the one." He heard Kurt gasp a little behind him, but pretended not to hear it.

"Then you can pick him up in a week or two when you are all settled in your house."

"Thank you so much, Samantha." Blaine carefully put the puppy down and got out of the pen to shake the woman's hand.

When the boys got in the car to drive back to Dalton Kurt punched Blaine lightly in the arm. "You got me a puppy?!"

Blaine laughed. "Ouch! Yes, I did. It's your birthday! Also, I thought it would be fun for Aimee when she visits and for you when I go to work later."

"And it will be fun for you when he pees in your shoes." Kurt chuckled. "Thank you Blaine, he is adorable."

"What do you want to name him?"

Kurt seemed to think for a moment, so Blaine started the car and left the driveway.

"His name will be Pavarotti."

"That's cute. Sounds more like a bird's name, though."

Kurt huffed. "Does not."

"I love it."

"What would you have done if none of them could see me? I haven't really heard of dogs that see ghosts."

"I had a backup-plan." Blaine smiled at the road while he drove.

"Oh, really? And what happens to that plan now?"

"You'll never know." Blaine chirped happily.

Kurt laughed. "I love you."

Blaine looked over at Kurt just long enough to reply. "I love you too."