Blaine’s little “sessions” continued like that. Kurt insisted that he limit himself to one question a day. So far they had gone through How did he hurt you and How did he hide it and Why the hell would he even do that. And as ridiculous as it was, Kurt actually seemed to be feeling a little better. And one day, on the couch at Kurt’s place, Blaine asked How can I make you feel better and Kurt pulled him closer for a messy kiss, all dueling tongues and roaming hands. Blaine moaned as Kurt cupped his ass and shoved his hips down to meet him. Blaine pulled away to flick his tongue around the shell of Kurt’s ear. Kurt started slowly rocking their hips together, making all sorts of breathless noises as Blaine nipped his way down to his collarbone and started sucking. He shuddered at the feeling of Kurt’s length on his ass. Kurt managed to gasp out “bedroom” before they came in their pants like a couple of twelve-year-olds, and soon they stumbling into Kurt’s room, panting. As soon as they got there, Kurt instructed, “Take off your shirt. NOW.” Blaine was happy to comply as he sat down on the bed, shifting uncomfortably in his skinny jeans, and Kurt ripped off his sweater and threw it on the ground before he bent over, rummaging around in a drawer for something. Blaine couldn’t help but check out his lover’s ass and he also couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be inside him…Kurt looked really tight, his brain mumbled as all of his blood rushed southward and his cock throbbed painfully as it strained against his jeans. Blaine shucked them off faster than he even thought he could and leaned against the headboard in his boxers, watching Kurt. Kurt grabbed something and stood up with a muttered “finally” and when he turned around he spent a very long moment running his eyes up and down Blaine’s body. Then he also pulled off his jeans; Blaine noticed the stark contrast between his black boxer-briefs and the pale whiteness of Kurt’s body. Kurt got on the bed and leaned over him, sucking a hickey just under Blaine’s jaw. Blaine saw the bottle of lube and condoms that Kurt had put on the bedside table and he said “How long – ah! – have you had those?”

“Since the day you first sang to me,” Kurt whispered hot under his jaw, and began palming him through his underwear. Blaine moaned again when Kurt bit down on his hickey and he ran his hands down to Kurt’s ass, savoring the sounds he made when he squeezed.

But Blaine had to stop. He wasn’t going to last through much more of this. “Wait,” he gasped as he sat up, straddling Kurt and leaning their foreheads together, “Do you…do you want me to…”

“Yes,” Kurt panted, snatching the lube off the table and handing it to Blaine. Blaine grinned.

“Take your shorts off,” he said as he opened the bottle. Kurt did so, leaning back against the pillow with one of his knees falling over to the side. Blaine also pulled off his boxers before slicking up his fingers, admiring how Kurt looked with his skin shining with sweat and those green eyes turned up towards him – Blaine leaned over Kurt and kissed him as he slid one finger into Kurt.

“Mmph,” Kurt grunted.

“More?” Blaine suggested, his face hovering millimeters from Kurt’s.

“No – slower. Just go slower.”

“Sorry,” Blaine flushed. He wasn’t exactly used to someone as...unique as Kurt.

“Don’t be,” Kurt smiled. “It’s just – been a while.” Blaine’s heart felt like it was breaking and melting at the same time at that, and he brushed a gentle kiss to the inside of Kurt’s thigh before starting again. He did go slower, but soon he could add a second finger, and a third, and Kurt’s hips were bucking against him and he was pressing himself into Kurt’s thigh and finally Kurt said “Please…baby, please.” Blaine grabbed a condom and ripped off the wrapper with his teeth (thank god he’d done that loads of times) and he rolled it on and squirted the lube all over himself, it was spilling everywhere because his hands were shaking so much. Finally he pushed inside and Kurt let out a sound between a groan and a gasp. Their hips immediately fell into the proper rhythm, Kurt’s legs were wrapped around Blaine and he was muttering a strange combination of prayers and obscenities until Blaine met him with a hard thrust and he felt Kurt’s whole body tense. Kurt started screaming, and not in a good way. Blaine wanted to stop, he started to pull out but his hips were still rocking of their own accord, before he did he heard Kurt scream “Da-ave!” Then he was out and Kurt pushed him away to curl up in the fetal position sobbing, sticky cum all over his stomach.
Blaine sat for a moment and stared at him, his blood-deprived brain taking a while to register what was going on. But something instinctual in him saw poor, beautiful Kurt and scooted closer to him, rubbing his hand in circles along his back. “Shh, baby, it’s okay,” he whispered. “Relax. Take a few deep breaths.” Silently he offered the same advice to himself, trying to ignore his still-throbbing erection.

Kurt smacked his hand away. “Don’t touch me!” he almost screamed, his voice high and breathless.

“Baby, I – I’m just trying to help.” Blaine had never felt more confused. Kurt’s whole body was shaking as he slowly sat up to pull the blankets around him. He sat and looked at his knees for a long time, thinking, and Blaine thought back to the Kurt he had seen on that first day in the coffee shop. Delicate, yes, but resilient. He knew that Kurt could get through this. “Blaine,” said Kurt, and surprisingly his voice was steady. He wouldn’t meet his lover’s eyes; Blaine knew something was wrong. Well, obviously something was wrong. “I think we should take a break for a little while.”

“No!” The word burst out of him without even processing. “No, Kurt, I can’t let that happen. We don’t have to be dating and we don’t have to have sex, but Kurt, I am not letting you leave my life. Ever. I will see you every day.”

“Blaine…I just…clearly I’m not over this. Clearly I’m not a good guy for you. You need someone who can have fun with you and laugh with you and screw with you and I’m just not that person. I can’t do it!”

Blaine’s heart fell out of his throat into somewhere past his diaphragm. “You are that person, Kurt. You’re everything to me. I love you.”

Kurt looked at him, finally, with a hopeless expression on his face. He was defeated. “Just leave, Blaine.”

“No. I’m going to stay right here.”

“Just – ”

“No, Kurt.”

Kurt closed his eyes. “I’m going to sleep.”

“I’ll take the couch.”

“Mmm.”

Blaine gathered his clothes and put them on as slowly and quietly as possible, trying not to disturb Kurt but also trying to stay in the room to make sure that Kurt slept. He watched as Kurt’s breathing became slow and deep, and he stood over his lover resisting the urge to press a kiss to his forehead. Then he left the room.

….

Blaine was lying on Kurt’s couch with his eyes closed, but he was not sleeping. It was one of those nights where thoughts just sprint through your mind and never give you any peace. He heard something creak and saw that the door to Kurt’s room had opened a small crack and watched as Kurt slipped through. Kurt made his way towards the couch and Blaine shut his eyes, pretending to sleep so he could be as non-invasive a presence in this house as possible; he felt really guilty about imposing on Kurt at a time when he was so vulnerable, but something told him that if he had left, he would never be able to see Kurt again and he was not going to let that happen. He heard Kurt’s footsteps slowly approaching the couch; he felt Kurt’s presence right next to him. Watching him sleep. Blaine’s heart flipped over in his chest. Then Kurt started to sing softly, almost absentmindedly…

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds of lovers past
Until a new one comes along

Kurt sat down on the arm of the couch next to Blaine’s head. He brushed his hand over Blaine’s forehead tenderly.

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I held a rose,
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes,
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

Kurt paused for a moment. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to Blaine’s forehead.

this is why my eyes are closed
It’s just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows

Kurt’s song finished. He pressed another kiss to Blaine’s forehead and slowly made his way back to his room. Blaine cried silently into his borrowed pillow.

….

Kurt had made it back to his room and was about to turn off the light when he heard an odd snuffling sound coming from the other room. Blaine was awake, he realized. Blaine was crying. He tiptoed back to the couch and touched Blaine’s back lightly. He jerked up and stared into Kurt’s eyes, clutching the pillow. “Kurt, I…come here,” he said, and Kurt did, sitting next to him. He pulled Kurt into a tight embrace. “Of course I would never leave you,” Blaine whispered. “You know that. I love you.” Kurt just sighed, savored the feeling of being in Blaine’s arms. “Kurt, I – ” Blaine said, then he broke off, lost in thought. “I just want to help you. I just don’t know how. I – ”

Kurt was pleasantly surprised when Blaine began to sing, at first soft vocalizations, then words. Words that helped Kurt understand exactly what Blaine had been feeling these past few days, trying to understand Kurt’s troubles. Kurt loved Blaine.

la la la la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la
I hold you in my arms, yeah that's when it starts
I seek faith in your kiss and comfort in your heart
I taste the seed upon your lips, lay my tongue upon your scars
But when I look into your eyes we stand worlds apart

la la la la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la
Where the distant oceans sing and rise to the plain
In this dry and troubled country your beauty remains
Down from the mountain road where the highway rolls to dark
'Neath Allah's blessed rain we remain worlds apart
la la la la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la

Sometimes the truth just ain't enough
Or is it too much in times like this
Let's throw the truth away we'll find it in this kiss
In your skin upon my skin in the beating of our hearts
May the living let us in before the dead tear us apart

We'll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars
I'll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart
We've got this moment now to love then it's all just dust and dark

Let's let love give what it gives
Let's let love give what it gives
Let love give what it gives
Let’s let love give what it gives
Let’s let love give what it gives
Let’s let love give what it gives
la la la la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la

“Let love give what it gives,” Blaine whispered to Kurt at the end of the song, and Kurt was only too happy to comply, pressing his lips against his lover’s.