Kurt felt like crap. Like totally crap.

After the meeting in The Lima Bean he had headed straight home with the excuse his dead wanted him to be home for lunch. That had been a lie. His Dad hadn't even been home. He had just needed to get away from the others. And away from Blaine to clear his thoughts.

Did he really say to Blaine that he should met this guy? Really? He was such an idiot! But on the other hand, Blaine was his best friend and Kurt wanted him to be happy. And somewhere in his head excited the little thought that Blaine could maybe change his mind after meeting this guy and realize that he had feelings for Kurt...

No, Kurt thought to himself, that was absolute impossible and unrealistic. He had had his chance and he hadn't taken it. Blaine deserved someone better, someone who had the courage to show his affection. Blaine deserved to be happy and if this guy could make Blaine happy...fine!

He had tried to convince himself with this thoughts when he had went home from The Lima Bean but it didn't really work out. As soon as he had been home, he had went straight into his room, had fallen face forward onto the bed and begun to cry. He hated himself so bad for being such a coward and for being so madly in love with his best friend. He had cried and cried for hours until he'd realized that he had agreed to Mercedes' girls night. So he had gotten up, tried to make himself look acceptable (what wasn't easy because his eyes were red and swollen from the crying) and went downstairs, dropping a note for his Dad.

He wasn't really in the mood for a girls-night but what else should he do? Staying at home crying? No, he didn't even think that it was even possible to cry more. So he'd packed his things and got into his car. He'd been halfway to Mercedes house when he realized that he hadn't spoken to Mercedes after their meeting in the Lima Bean this morning.

Damn! She was going to ask questions and Kurt wasn't really in the mood to answer to them, mostly because he hadn't even an answer for them.

He sighed and put a hand to his head. All this worries were giving him a head ache. He sighed and pulled into the street in which Mercedes lived. He parked his car, hopped out of it and walked towards the door. Before he could even ring the bell the door opened and Mercedes was standing in front of him, already wearing her purple pajama and looked at him questioningly arms crossed in front of her chest.

“So?”, she asked before Kurt could even come in. “What do you have to say?”

Kurt sighed again and closed the door behind him. “Nice to see you too. Yeah I had a nice ride, thanks for asking”, he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“Kuuuurt!”, Mercedes said warningly.

Kurt looked at her. “What do you want to hear?”, he asked a little bit offended.

“I want to hear why the hell you told the boy you're in love with to meet another guy!”, she said, her arms still crossed in front of her.

Kurt felt his head ache getting worse. “What should I do? He doesn't like me back and there is another guy liking him. So why shouldn't they just get together and everybody would be happy!”, Kurt nearly yelled in frustration.

“Because it makes you unhappy Kurt! Because YOU like him and because YOU and Blaine should be together, not Blaine and another stupid boy!”, Mercedes throw her hands over her head.

“You don't even know him”, Kurt murmured and looked at her. “And this isn't about me, this is about Blaine! I don't matter in this!”, Kurt nearly yelled again.

Mercedes grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Of course you matter! This is about you too! This about your feelings too,Kurt! You have a right to be happy! Why do you give up before you even tried! This isn't like the Kurt I knew! The Kurt I knew would have fought for his right.” She growled in frustration.

Tears began to well in Kurt's eyes and he gulped. “I cannot always be strong! I've been strong all the time! Hell yes I want to be happy! But how when it seems to be my destiny that all the things I've ever wanted always end bad for me.” He was really crying now. “I-I want to be with Blaine. I-I want me to be happy....but he's my best friend,Mercedes...and why should he be unhappy too...? If he has the possibility to be happy with some other guys...why shouldn't he...? I-I just...I...”

“Ssh”, Mercedes murmured taking him in his arms. “I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't want to yell at you. Sshh...”

Kurt began to cry even more. “Don't...don't apologize!”, he murmured into her pajama. “It's just so unfair...”

She sighed and hugged him even tighter before letting go. “C'mon, let's go upstairs and get into your pajama before Rachel arrives.”

Kurt only nodded and went upstairs, quickly changed into his pajama and dried his eyes with his hands.

He just sat on the bed for a few minutes and tried to collect himself. This wasn't really what he'd imagined about an evening with his girls. He sighed.

After a few minutes he heard footsteps on the stairs and got himself ready to be his normal,sarcastic self to face Rachel.

“Hey Kurt”, Rachel smiled her too bright smile when she entered the room.

Kurt only waved lazily and smiled lightly at her pink pajama with little pigs on it which she was already wearing.

“So what are we gotta do now?”, she asked happily. “Seeing a movie, doing skin care, singing musical songs because I've....”

Mercedes cut into her words. “At first you'll tell me what you've done!”

Rachel just looked confused and Kurt tried to stop Mercedes but she ignored him

“How could you let Blaine exchange numbers with this guy?”, Mercedes looked at her an eyebrow raised.

Rachel looked at her like she'd lost her mind. “He was very nice and he-”

Mercedes cut her words again. “Have you, only or a minute, thought about Kurt? About how he would feel about it?”

“Kurt?”, Rachel looked only more confused as he gaze rested on Kurt's face. “But why?”

“Because he's totally in love with Blaine and maybe he want Blaine to date him and not another guy!”, Mercedes looked angrily.

“Mercedes, it's-”, Kurt tried to say but Mercedes raised her hand motioning him to stop talking so he just closed his mouth and watched her with big eyes.

Rachel looked to Kurt in shock. “Really? But how should I've known that, I mean-”

“It was the most obvious thing ever!”, Mercedes shook her head and Kurt snorted. “Damn. You're his friend, you should have seen it!”

Rachel looked at Kurt now questioningly. “But why did you tell him to go on that date then?”

“He think he doesn't matter”, Mercedes said before Kurt could answer.

Rachel crawled up on the bed to sit next to him and hugged him. “I'm so sorry, Kurt!”

Kurt only shrugged and nodded. He didn't like how this evening went. He wanted to have some distraction and fun! Was this to much to ask for?

“Could,could we just watch a movie or something?”, he asked.

Mercedes sighed and nodded, put in a movie and got them some popcorn before sitting down next to Kurt on the bed. They watched the movie and ate their popcorn in silence. Kurt rested his head on Mercedes shoulder and his mind began to wander.

Why did he never have any luck? Why was it like the destiny always turned his back to him? Everything had seemed so perfect when he met Blaine. Maybe too perfect, he thought. Back then he had already pictured Blaine and him being a couple, going out on dates, kissing randomly...Maybe he had been to fast! Maybe he had only been dreaming a little bit to fast.....

_______________________________________________________________________________

Kurt woke up early the next day. The two girls still sleeping peacefully next to him. He quietly got up and checked his phone. He had one new message from Blaine:

Hey,

Watcha doing this evening?

I'm bored wanna hang out?

Text me:)

Kurt bit his lip. Why hadn't he checked his phone yesterday. Maybe Blaine thought he was angry because he didn't reply to the message. He quickly texted a response:

Sorry stayed at Mercedes' place tonight

and forgot to check my phone!

What about hanging out today?:)

Kurt sighed and put his phone to the side. He could only hoped Blaine still wanted to hang out with him today and wasn't already meeting this guy. Only a few minutes had passed and Kurt's phone buzzed.

'Kay

Should I come over?

I could bring some GOOD movies and music;)

Kurt laughed quietly and responded before he got back under the blanket and tried to sleep for a few minutes.

Yeah, that would be great:)