Nov. 19, 2011, 9:42 p.m.
I Can´t Decide Whether You Should Live or Die: Pleasing Everyone Isn´t Like You
E - Words: 1,167 - Last Updated: Nov 19, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Sep 24, 2011 - Updated: Nov 19, 2011 308 0 2 0 0
He didn�t manage to leave the bar though, but ended in the Ladie�s room. He stared at the reflection in the mirror in front of him and watched himself in horror. This wasn�t the Kurt Hummel he wanted to be. He didn�t like all the shades of feelings he discovered in his eyes; like the longing he couldn�t deny and the loneliness he wasn�t able to suppress. But the thing he liked least was the hope.
Oh fuck you, Blaine Anderson!
It had been six awfully long years, six years he had survived and tried to move on and be more than a part of a couple, more than just the half of something. All Blaine needed to do was appear again and his efforts became meaningless.
The worst part of all was that Blaine hadn�t just stood there and looked gorgeous like then, but threatened to kill him – and tried to blackmail him to... Kurt didn�t even want to put it into words. But not even he was able to deny that Blaine�s attempt left him feeling... something. God, how he wished it wasn�t so; but Blaine had always known which buttons to push and obviously neither Blaine�s ability nor his buttons had changed.
As the bathroom�s door opened and the familiar dark curls came in sight, Kurt�s knuckles turned white, clutching the sink. Blaine�s smirk hit him like a ton of bricks and he looked back into the mirror.
"Your hiding places didn�t change at all", Blaine stated.
"Your inability to leave people in peace didn�t either", Kurt answered angrily, which caused one of Blaine�s deep and amused chuckles that still managed to make his spine tingle.
Kurt hoped he looked braver than he felt inside and turned around slowly to face Blaine.
"Well, I won�t pay you nor show my not existing gratitude in any possible way. So you can do it now and here or just vanish like you did six years ago."
He watched Blaine coming nearer and felt paralyzed until Blaine touched his wrist, ever so lightly. Kurt drew in a sharp breath, his eyes gaped with horror and tried to shake Blaine�s fingers off, who only moved even closer.
"We already had that, Kurt. You wanted me to leave and I did, so stop it. And I told you some minutes ago I don�t really need to care for your disappearance of necessity" - Kurt snuffled at Blaine�s choice of term - "but I won�t let you go or leave you otherwise. So I guess we have to find a solution." His eyes flickered over Kurt�s face and stopped at his lips, which caused Kurt to finally move his free hand and push Blaine away. It turned out too forcefully and Blaine nearly fell down, but it was the action they both needed to return to reality again.
"Why do we need any solution? I�ll go home now and you�ll do the same, unless you have another mission to fulfill."
Kurt hurried to leave the uninviting location, but Blaine�s now earnest voice held him back.
"Do you really think that�s it? You�ve always praised yourself as smart and I don�t guess you changed that much. Think about what will happen when I tell them I didn�t do it. Do you really think they�ll just accept it? No, Kurt – they�ll retain another colleague, who won�t think twice. The fact that you might know about it by now will just make them act faster and more violent to avoid another failure. You�re not safe, Kurt. You won�t be until they succeed or get caught."
As much as Kurt hated it, he had to admit that Blaine was right. Oh fuck it, Kurt cringed inwardly, he hated Blaine being right even more than Blaine just being here.
It felt like physical pain to turn around again.
"So what do you suggest then? Should I leave New York and go back to Lima? That will never happen and you know it. Also, I have performances to attend and appointments to maintain, so I won�t just lock myself and hide."
Blaine shook his head.
"Going back to Lima is no possibility, they know where your family lives and you would hazard your dad, Carole and Finn. Staying with Rachel is no alternative either, your friendship is well-established too. Frankly, I wouldn�t choose asking one of your flirts as well, they would be shirty after at most some days. Besides, they couldn�t keep you safe for a single hour. I guess I�m your best choice."
"Excuse me?"
Kurt stared at Blaine and waited for him to laugh or correct his last words.
"No way. You don�t really think I�d stay with you, do you? There must be another solution. There has to be. " Kurt knew he sounded desperate, but he couldn�t care less at the moment. His whole life was about to turn upside down and he wanted to cling to everything he knew and liked. And Blaine was surely not one of the things he knew or liked.
Blaine just shrugged and eyed up a woman, who hesitated to enter the bathroom. He caught Kurt�s hand and pulled him outside, where he pushed him up against the wall and fixed him with his hands again Kurt�s shoulders. Kurt wouldn�t have been able to walk away though, he still tried to figure out what Blaine had said.
"Kurt, listen."
Kurt forced himself to look at Blaine who absently caressed Kurt�s shoulder and oh fuck, if that wasn�t distracting.
But Blaine�s eyes showed nothing similar to Kurt�s mixed feeling, they just stared at him in a disturbing intense, but cold way.
"Don�t get me wrong, I don�t want you to stay with me. In fact, I don�t want you back in my life at all and I would be happy if I could let you go and forget about it. But that would be your death sentence and you don�t deserve it. Well, maybe you do deserve it, considering your attitude and the fact that somebody wants to see you dead, but I won�t be the one to decide it."
Kurt�s eyes narrowed as he hissed: "My attitude is none of your business!"
Blaine let out an amused chuckle as his hand wandered upwards to caress the side of Kurt�s neck. Kurt suppressed a shiver – he would rather die than show Blaine how he still could make him feel. Oh fuck it, Kurt realised, kicking the bucket had become a realistic possibility lately. Better not joking about it.
"If I should consider staying with you, I need to know something."
Blaine�s raised eyebrows showed him to continue.
"Who is it?"
"Who is what?", Blaine asked confused.
"Who wants to see me dead? I can�t think of anyone, really. Sure, there were competitors and colleagues, but I�ve never treated them too bad. I don�t think that any highschool-jerks still think of me or would be able to hire a hitman, so who is it?"
It was the first time this evening, Kurt realised, that Blaine looked uncomfortable.
"That�s the problem, you see, Kurt", he articulated carefully, "and also the reason it�s probably getting dangerous. I have no clue."
Comments
WHY DOES BLAINE NOT KNOW WHO WANTS KURT DEAD?! I need more.
And here it is - the next part ;) I think you will know more when you´ve finished it... but there are quite SOME more secrets coming up... Thx for my first review on S&C! *hugs*