Chapter 13

Kurt knocks on Blaine's house and Cooper opens the door.

“Hey, Kurtie!” Cooper says, but his smile fades when he sees Kurt's face, “so… you're leaving huh?”

Kurt nods, “yeah, I guess I am. I'll be back for graduation though”

Cooper nods and hugs Kurt, “good luck with everything”

Kurt smiles, “thanks, you too Coop. Is Blaine upstairs?”

Cooper nods and Kurt walks up to Blaine's room. Cooper is a good guy, Kurt is happy Blaine has him. Blaine needs someone that will always be there for him. Something Kurt can't be anymore…

Kurt knocks softly before opening the door. Blaine looks up from his computer and they catch each other's eyes.

“Kurt, what are you doing here?” Blaine asks, walking over to him.

Kurt looks down, hating the hope in Blaine's eyes, “I'm leaving on Friday, thought I should say goodbye”

He is defiantly not looking up now, it will be a more awful look; hurt. He has to look at him though. He looks up and like he expected, Blaine is looking at him with a hurt look. He tries to hide it, but Kurt can see it. He takes a deep breath.

“Right… of course” Blaine says, nodding multiple times, clearly trying not to show how disappointed he is.

Kurt can still see what he is trying to hide. He has been thinking a lot since they last spoke together, when Kurt told Blaine he was leaving. Is he doing the right thing? Does he want to leave? What will happen with him and Blaine? He still isn't sure what the answers are.

Kurt closes the door behind him and moves closer to Blaine, “I'm sorry…”

Blaine shakes his head, “why? This is a good thing; you have a record deal”

“Yes, but… you. I don't want to leave you” Kurt says, taking Blaine's hand.

“I'll be f-fine” Blaine says, his face like a stone.

Kurt shakes his head, “no you're not and I'm not going to be either. I wish you could come with me. Maybe you can take your degree on-“

“Kurt…” Blaine interrupts, “I can't just leave… I got into NYADA”

New York Academy of Dramatic Arts; the school Blaine talked about, which is in New York… On the other side of the country.

“Really? That's great.” Kurt suppresses a smile.

“You know this isn't working…” Blaine says shaking his head, “I'm sorry for doing this to you, I guess I'm just not ready to let someone in when I don't really know who I am”

Kurt shakes his head, “don't apologize, we shouldn't have rushed into anything. I wasn't even ready to let someone in. I'm sorry for that night… at the party. I didn't think how it would affect you. After that I just made everything hard for you”

“No, I'm glad it happened. It made me more confused than ever, yes, but I do know I love you Kurt”

“And I love you too” Kurt says and kisses Blaine.

This will be the last time Kurt kisses him… No, Kurt isn't ready for this. He can't let go just yet. Blaine doesn't seem to want that either, as he deepens the kiss. Kurt grabs Blaine's hips and pulls him closer.

“Kurt…” Blaine sighs and kisses him again.

He pushes Kurt towards the bed, taking off his jacket on the way.

“Blaine we shouldn't” Kurt says, but takes off Blaine's shirt and runs his fingers down Blaine's naked chest.

Kurt sits down on the bed and looks up at Blaine. He still got that hurt look on his face, but he takes off his pants and underwear anyway. Kurt does the same.

Blaine sits down in Kurt's lap and kisses him softly. Kurt can feel something wet on Blaine's cheek and knows he is crying.

“Blaine, we really don't have to do this”

Blaine shakes his head, “I want to”

Kurt kisses him again, feeling Blaine's warm lips move with his. Kurt lies down on the bed. The comforter is cold under his skin for a second before it gets comfortable. Blaine gets off Kurt's lap and kisses Kurt's stomach and chest. Kurt closes his eyes, breathing heavily, as Blaine's warm lips move over him.

 They shouldn't do this.

Blaine kisses Kurt's mouth again, sucking on Kurt's tongue. Kurt moans and rolls them over so he is on top. Blaine groans softly and grabs Kurt's thighs, thrusting slightly up. Kurt leans down and kisses Blaine again.

Kurt opens his eyes slightly and looks at Blaine, moaning when Blaine sucks on his lips. Tears forms in Kurt's eyes. This will be their last time they will do something like this.

“Blaine… I can't, I'm sorry.” Kurt says and looks at Blaine, “I really want to, but the pain will only get worse”

Blaine doesn't say anything, but nods eventually, understanding. Kurt hugs Blaine and lay down beside him. They lay like this for a long time.

“Can I come say goodbye to you when you leave?” Blaine asks his voice dry from the long silence.

Kurt smiles a little and moves closer, nodding, “that would be nice. Dad is driving me to the airport, so you can come with?”

Blaine nods, “so how is Burt taking all this?”

Kurt shrugs, “not what he hoped for I guess, but he understands”

“That's good”

Kurt nods, “yeah, I'm lucky to have him”

The room falls in silence again. Many thoughts are running inside Kurt's head, he isn't even sure what they are saying; it's too many. All this is such a bittersweet feeling. He is so happy about the band, but he wish he could be with Blaine. Blaine is right about them not working, but they work really well as friends. Kurt doesn't want to lose his friend. His best friend.

“I should maybe go…” Kurt says and Blaine nods.

Kurt looks up at Blaine and cups his cheek, “I will always love you, don't forget that” he whispers and kisses him softly and tender on Blaine's mouth.

They get out of the bed and walk downstairs after putting their clothes on again.

“So… I'll see you on Friday then?” Kurt asks, smiling awkwardly.

Blaine nods, “yeah, I'll see you then”

They hug each other and Blaine softly kisses Kurt's cheek before Kurt walks out.

Cooper's car is gone. He probably didn't want to disturb.

Xx

Fridays comes too fast. He hasn't seen Blaine since he was at his house. It's only been three days, but still it feels like a long time. How is it going to be like when Kurt won't see him for months? And after graduation, maybe never again? Kurt shakes his head, he can't think about this now, he needs to do what he want to do and that is playing music.

Kurt gets the suitcase and his guitar in the car before getting in it himself. They get a house to share, so they only need clothes and things like that. Jace say it's a really nice house, with a pool and not fare from the studio.

“Ready?” Burt asks, starting the car.

Kurt looks at his home and nods, “yeah, I'm ready”

Burt drives to Blaine's house to pick up Blaine before driving towards the airport. It takes a little while and even longer when no one is saying anything.

“So I hear you did well at the competition your show choir was in” Burt says to Blaine.

Blaine nods, “yeah, it was great. We have Nationals in LA actually this year”

Kurt looks up at this. He turns around in his seat to look at Blaine in the back, “you didn't tell me that”

“Well we found out yesterday, so…”

“Oh, okay, well that's great. Sure you'll win” Kurt says and sits back in his seat.

“I hope so” Blaine says back as Burt parks the car.

They walk inside and they follow Kurt as fare as they can. Kurt looks at them both for a second before Burt moves closer and hugs him.

“I'm proud of you son”

Kurt smiles in his father arms, “thank you for not giving up on me”

“Never” Burt says and pulls back, clapping his sons shoulder.

Kurt smiles and swallows hard. He looks at Blaine who is looking at the floor, blinking repeatedly.

Burt choughs, “I'll go wait over there” he tells Blaine, “good luck, call me when you get there” he says to Kurt and walks away.

Kurt looks at Blaine again, “are you going to give me a hug or?” Kurt jokes.

Blaine smiles a little and looks up. He moves closer and hugs him. They stand like this for a while before parting.

Kurt cups Blaine's face, “I love you”

Blaine sighs and leans into Kurt's touch, “I love you too”

A woman on the speaker are calling for the people who are flying to LA, so Kurt needs to go. A part of him doesn't want to, but he have to. Damn, he wishes Blaine could come with him.

“I have to go” Kurt sighs and Blaine nods.

Kurt pulls Blaine closer and kisses Blaine softly on the lips. Blaine kisses him back, wrapping his arms around Kurt's torso.

“Okay, I need to go now. I'll see you soon”

Blaine nods, tears in his eyes, “yeah, I'll see you soon, good luck”

“Thanks” Kurt says and walks towards the gate.

Xx

Quinn, Puck and Dylan are already sitting on the plane; they all look up when Kurt comes.

“There you are!” Quinn says and makes some room between her and Dylan.

Kurt sits down, “sorry, needed to say goodbye”

Quinn takes his hand, “you okay?”

Kurt rolls his eyes, “of course I am”

This makes Quinn roll her eyes too. No, of course he isn't okay, but he is not showing the others that. Well Quinn, he can tell, but not the others, especially not Dylan.  

When they finally land, Jace is already there to picking them up. They drive to their new house, through LA City so they can look a little around. It really looks great here.

They get to the house and Jace shows them around. It's a big white house, with big windows. The first thing they see when they walk inside is the living room with two couches and a big TV on the left side of the room There is also a big black piano there and a nice fireplace. On the other side of the room, is the kitchen and to the right there is a table with a nice view over the pool and places to relax around. Beside the living room is a bathroom and beside that; a staircase to the second floor. It is four bedrooms, each with a beautiful view and their own bathroom. Kurt choses the room furthest to the right, which has the view over LA City. The room beside Kurt's, which Quinn takes, has the same view. Dylan takes the room on the other side of Kurt's and Puck the one beside Dylan. They all look the same except the porch on Kurt's and Quinn's side that they share. The room is white, all the rooms are white actually, and has a wall with big windows. Pictures and other types of décor are all around the house and Kurt loves it already.

Jace tells them he will pick them up tomorrow morning before he leaves. Everyone go to their own rooms to unpack. Kurt apparently is the first one to finish, so he walks around the house to look more around. Everything is so light, but because of the wall decoration and the other stuff, it doesn't look too bad. It's nothing like his home in Ohio. That's more warm and cozy.

His thoughts fall back to Blaine. What is he doing now? Is he thinking about him? Kurt sighs and finds something to eat. He has to stop thinking about this. He brings the food to his room and eats it there while he works on his song.

oooo

“Hey” Nathan says and sits down beside Blaine at the cafeteria, “how are you?”

“Fine” Blaine lies and looks down at his food.

It's been a week now since Kurt left and nothing feels the same. Food used to be tempting, sleep used to be good and singing used to be fun. Life used to have a meaning. What is the point anymore now? Kurt is gone, everyone knows about him and Kurt. Blaine doesn't even know who he is anymore.

“I can see that” Nathan says ironic and Blaine rolls his eyes.

Nathan sighs, but Blaine doesn't think much of it. If he doesn't want to talk to him, he is free to go. He shouldn't push him away though, he can't lose Nathan too.

“I'm sorry; I just have a lot on my mind”

“Want to talk about it? Has it something to do with Kurt?” Nathan almost doesn't make a sound when he says Kurt's name, but it still hurts.

Blaine frowns and acts like he doesn't know what he is talking about, “why would you think that?”

Nathan only lifts an eyebrow, telling Blaine he isn't that stupid. He knows Blaine feel more for Kurt than he tells people.

Xx

Blaine walks to the choir room for practice. They only have two weeks left before nationals in LA. Rachel and Finn are singing a duet this time. Mr. Shue asked if Blaine wanted to sing a song, but Blaine said no. He doesn't feel like singing a solo right now.

They sing through all the songs a few times in the auditorium with choreography before they can go. Next week they will practice every day after school.

Blaine looks at his phone quickly to see if Kurt has answered before walking over to the car Cooper is sitting in. Nothing. No missed call, no new text. Why is he even surprised?  

“Hey, buddy!” Cooper says too happy like he always do, hoping to cheer up Blaine. It never works though.

“Hey” Blaine mumbles back and puts on his seatbelt.

Cooper doesn't say anything more, getting the hint that Blaine doesn't want to talk.

Blaine frowns when Cooper suddenly turns to the left when he is supposed to turn to the right, “you know it's that way right?” he says and points to the other direction.

Cooper nods, “to our house, yes, but we are not going there”

Blaine is still frowning, “then where are we going?”

“Wait and see” Cooper says with a teasing smile.

Blaine only sighs though, not feeling like going on an adventure today, or ever.

They drive to town and Cooper finds a place to park. They get out of the car and Blaine follows Cooper down the street. He asks Cooper one more time where they are going, but with no result.

Cooper suddenly stops outside a bowling alley and grins at Blaine.

“What are we doing here?” Blaine wines, already knowing what is going on.

“Come on, we used to go here all the time”

“Yeah when I was 10”

Cooper rolls his eyes and drags his brother with him inside, “can't we just have fun?”

Blaine smiles a little and follows Cooper.

They play a few times and Blaine manages to forget about everything happening outside this building. It's the first time he is having fun since… Blaine push away that thought, he doesn't want to think about this now.

“Let's get something to eat” Blaine says after finishing their third game.

They get some pizza at the diner on the other side of the street. They used to come here a lot too when they were younger.

Blaine looks over at Cooper with a smile, “thank you”

Cooper smiles back, “anytime, little brother”

It looks like he still has a meaning in life and Blaine is happy to have him.  

oooo

Kurt and the others have been in LA for two weeks now. They practice every day, but they have also gotten to know the city. Kurt loves it here, but a part of him misses Ohio. He misses his dad and especially Blaine. They haven't talked after Kurt left. Blaine called one time, but Kurt just texted back saying he needs some time. It's been some time now, but it still hurts like hell. How do people get over these things?

Kurt called home yesterday and talked to Finn for a while. He talked mostly about the glee club getting ready for nationals, but Kurt had to ask about Blaine. He said that Blaine was really not saying anything anymore, that he was just sitting in the back and listing to everyone singing. The only time he doesn't look super sad, Finn tells Kurt, is when he is with Nathan. Finn says they spend a lot of time together. Kurt knows exactly what that means. How can Blaine move on that fast? And he said he wasn't even sure who he is, how can he be with Nathan then? He knew Nathan liked Blaine, but he didn't think anything would happen. At least not so soon.

Kurt isn't sure if he wants to cry or punch something when he thinks about the phone call again. Yesterday he did both, but he can't do it right now.

“Okay, so let's do that one more time, you almost got it guys!” Jace says, bringing Kurt back to reality.

Dylan starts to sings and the others play. When they are done, Jace smiles and bring up his thumb to tell them it's good. The others leave the studio to take a break, but Kurt doesn't leave the room. He doesn't want to go drink coffee and talk with the others.  

He sits down on a stool with his guitar and starts to softly play on it. He looks around to make sure no one decided to stay behind too before playing on a song he started on last night. He was inspired.

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when

Kurt stops when he looks up and sees Jace and Quinn stand by the door. Jace has an ‘I knew it' smile on his face and Quinn has a mix of shock and disappointment on her face. Why is she disappointed? Is he that bad?

“I thought you said you couldn't sing?” Quinn says.

Oh, that's why.

“No, I said I don't sing, not that I couldn't. You weren't supposed to hear this”

“Did you write it?” Jace asks and Kurt shrugs, trying not to make a big deal out of this.

Jace and Quinn walks further into the room and Kurt looks down at his guitar.

“Why didn't you say you were this good?” Quinn asks.

“What's going on?” Dylan asks before Kurt can answer and comes in with Puck right behind him.

“Nothing” Kurt says quickly, “we were just talking”

“Kurt can sing” Quinn says and looks at Dylan and Puck, “and he writes music”

Kurt rolls his eyes annoyed. Why did she have to tell them? Doesn't she understand that he doesn't want them to know?

“Really?” Dylan says and looks at Kurt, “why didn't you tell us?”

“Because I don't sing, okay? I don't want to sing. I'm here to play guitar, nothing else”

“If its stage fright or something, it will pass” Dylan assures Kurt.

“No, of course I don't have that” Kurt frowns.

“Then let's hear it” Puck pushes further.

“I said no, so shut up about it” Kurt says angry and walks out of the room.

Quinn runs after him, “wait, Kurt”

“Why did you have to tell them? Now they won't shut up about it!” Kurt says angry.

Quinn looks at Kurt for a second, “what's going on?”

Kurt shakes his head and sits down on a bench, Quinn sits down too.

“You know you can tell me anything, come on, what's going on?”

Kurt hesitates before saying, “when I was young, me and my mom used to sit by the piano and sing. It was my favorite thing to do and after she died, I couldn't sing or play anymore. I've sang and played piano once since she died and that was with Blaine.”

Quinn takes Kurt's hand and lies her head on his shoulder, “I'm sorry, Kurt. You are an amazing singer though and that song sounded really good. I didn't know you're mom, but I'm sure she didn't want you to hide your talents away. You do what you want of course, we won't push you to do anything you don't want to do. We couldn't have asked for a better guitar player anyway.”

Kurt smiles a little and sighs, “You always know what to say”

Quinn chuckles a little and lifts her head up to look at him, “I know, what would you have done without me?”

Kurt rolls his eyes.  

“So that song… can I hear the rest of it? It sounded really good. Just once and you never have to sing again!”

Kurt makes a ‘hell no' face and looks at Quinn. Not a smart move, now there's no going back.

“Fuck you” Kurt says with a grin and Quinn laughs.

They walk into the studio again and Kurt sits down on the chair he sat on before. Quinn is the only one that follows him inside, but Kurt can see the others in the control room watching him.

Kurt sighs. Here it goes, no turning back now.

“It's not done yet though, I started writing this last night” Kurt says and places his fingers on the guitar strings.

“It's okay” Quinn says and Kurt starts to play softly.  

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Kurt looks at Quinn for a second to see her reaction. He quickly looks back down though, not sure if he wants to know.

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Kurt thinks about Blaine for a second as he sings. His voice cracks slightly, so he quickly concentrates on the song instead.

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Kurt stops playing and looks up at Quinn, “I have some more, but it's not done yet. So… what do you think?”

Quinn smiles, but doesn't say anything.  Neither of them say anything, Kurt isn't sure what to say.

“Damn” Quinn suddenly says, “That was…Kurt, that was amazing”

Kurt shakes his head, “no, it's stupid”

“No, that song is amazing. It's…We should have it on the album”

“What? No, no we're not having that on any album. We are never talking about this again”

All the others come into the room.

“You don't have to sing it, I can” Dylan says, “you can be the writer”

“No, you're not singing this song, this is my song” Kurt says, trying not to lose his temper.

“Fine, then you can sing it” Dylan says, folding his arms.

Kurt doesn't answer, not in the mood to fight right now.

“Kurt, that song is really good, like really good and I know it's hard to let someone else hear your song, but it's so good. It's really different from the other songs we have, but I think that's a good thing. No one wants to hear only one type of song on an album, that's why we change soloist. You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I'm telling you, that song would get big”

Kurt looks at them all, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what to say. Instead he walks out of the room again, but this time he drives home.

Home... It doesn't feel like his home, but it is. Ohio is still his home, but not his real home anymore. It doesn't feel like Ohio is anyway. And not Portland either, that just reminds Kurt of his mother. Nothing feels right anymore. Blaine has moved on and Kurt is still stuck.

He needs to move on too, but how? Does he even want to move on? Like Blaine said and Kurt agrees with; they would never work. Neither of them was ready for a relationship. But why is Blaine in a new one then? Was it more about Kurt then it was about himself? Was Kurt the problem all along?

Kurt shakes his head. It doesn't matter because Kurt doesn't want to be with Blaine anymore. He loves him and wishes they could be friends, but nothing more. It's not what he does. He let his imagination run too far this year, but he is over it now. He doesn't do relationships and this is the reason why. He should stick to not having one from now on. He's in LA now, so he needs to start over.

Kurt lies down on his bed and his thoughts wonder back to the studio. Is his song actually good? Or did Quinn just say it to be nice? No, that is not her, she always tells the truth, even if it's not good. So his song is actually good… Kurt only thought about it like a personal song he only would like since it's about him and Blaine, not like a song someone else would like.

For a second Kurt thinks about having it on the album, but he quickly frowns at that idea. He can't sing and Dylan or anybody else is not singing that song. This is Kurt's personal song. It's probably the reason Kurt won't have it on the album, because it's too personal. What if Blaine hears it? And what will people think of him when they hear what he has written? It's a big opportunity though and it would be unreal to have your song on an album.

Kurt sighs, why is everything so complicated?

Xx

“Okay, I'll do it” Kurt says a few weeks later when he walks into the studio, “I'll sing the song”

The others haven't asked about it since they first heard it. They took the hint that Kurt wasn't interested. Something changed though, making Kurt change his mind. Blaine was in LA with the glee club last weekend. Kurt didn't go though, he didn't see Blaine. He couldn't. Blaine asked if they could meet, but Kurt didn't answer. He couldn't see Blaine. The pain would only get worse because they would have to say goodbye again.

Last night Kurt started to regret not seeing Blaine. Why wouldn't he want to see him? Why wouldn't he take every opportunity to see him? Even though it would hurt, it would be worth it right? But then he thinks about his song. That song was about closure for Kurt, to let Blaine go. And he needs Blaine to know this. So he needs this song on the album, even if he has to sing and everyone else will hear it too. Maybe the thought of having his own song on the album is tempting too, that it's not only about Blaine. But either way he wants it on the album.

“What?” Dylan asks, everyone looking at Kurt.

“My song. We can have it on the album”

“Really? Awesome!” Puck says.

“Are you sure?” Quinn asks and Kurt nods.

“What changed your mind?” Jace asks.

Kurt shrugs, “I don't know” Kurt half lies.

He knows it's about Blaine, but he isn't sure why he suddenly has to have it on the album.

“Okay, then let's get to it” Jace says and claps Kurt on the back.

oooo

Blaine puts the last box in Cooper's car and looks at it for a few seconds. This is it then, he is leaving Ohio.

Cooper and Blaine gets into the car and look at each other. Blaine nods, understanding what Cooper is asking, and they drive away.

Blaine is starting school in a week; NYADA. He is going to New York. Blaine is happy he isn't going to be alone. Cooper is coming with and Rachel, Finn and Nathan are too. Rachel is going to NYADA too and Finn and Nathan got a scholarship to Columbia. The only thing missing now is… Blaine takes a deep breath, trying not to think about him.

They haven't talked since he left. Blaine tried calling and text, but he just said he needed some space. So he is giving it to him, not bothering him anymore. The glee club was in LA and Blaine hoped they could meet then, but Kurt never answered. They only stayed in LA for three days, nationals the last day. They didn't win, but they came on fifth place so that isn't bad. Blaine doesn't care about that though, he only care that Kurt didn't come. He didn't even show up for graduation. So ‘see you later' was really ‘goodbye'. Kurt doesn't want anything to do with him, so Blaine needs to forget about him. It's been 3 months, but it feels like it's been years since Blaine saw him. 

Cooper turns on the radio and they listen in silence for a while. Blaine softly hums to the radio, looking out the window.

“Up next is a completely new song from a band we haven't heard much about yet.” The man on the radio says, “They have released one single already, ‘Demons' and have now a new one out. In a few months they will release their first album. We're proud to play this for the first time ever! Here's Demons of the Neighborhood with their new single, ‘Impossible'!”

Blaine is staring at the radio, not believing what is happening right now. He looks at Cooper and he looks a little nervous.

“Should I turn this off?” He asks as the music starts.

Blaine quickly shakes his head and listens. He gasps when he hears Kurt's voice. He blocks everything out, only Kurt's voice and music can be heard.

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

He carefully listens to the lyric, this has to be Kurt's since he is singing it, or else he wouldn't be singing it. A tear falls down Blaine's cheek as he listens

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Did Kurt really write this? About Blaine?

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worse

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know...

Blaine can feel Cooper's gaze on him, but he ignores it, he needs to hear everything. Betrayal? Did Blaine betray him? He knows he did some stupid things, but still…

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear

I know, I know...

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

And if youre done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Blaine shakes his head, not understanding. He thought they left things okay, that there wasn't any bad feelings when they ended things. He understands Kurt is hurt, he is too, but why did he write this? It sounds like he is angry at Blaine…

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible  

“That was amazing! I have a feeling these guys will do big things in the future. Remember them, people, ‘Demons of the neighborhood'! Up next is-”

Cooper turns off the radio.

Blaine doesn't move, repeating what he remember from the song over and over.

“Are you okay?” Cooper asks.

Blaine nods, but he knows there isn't any point in lying. Of course he isn't and Cooper knows it.

“It doesn't matter” Blaine says, mostly to himself, “we're over and he doesn't want to see me anymore. And after this song I understand why, he's hurt and angry because he got feelings involved, which he tries to avoid. I just wish we could talk about it…”

Cooper nods, “he just needs some time, Blaine, he'll come around”

Blaine nods and mumbles, “yeah I guess…”

“Okay, let's not think about this anymore! We're going to New York City! We have to be happy. You're going to college and I got a job. This is going to be great, right?”

Blaine smiles a little and nods, “yeah, it's going to be great. Thanks Coop”

Cooper nods and turns up the volume on the radio. They sing to the songs and laugh as they drive. Blaine still can't get Kurt out of his head though, and he probably never will. That's how it is, right? You never forget your first love.

oooo

“Kurt! Kurt!” Quinn yells and Kurt runs into her bedroom.

“What?” he asks worried.

Quinn turns up the volume and Kurt listens to the radio. His eyes grow when he hear they are playing his song. He listens for a little while before panicking.

“I sound so awful right there, my voice doesn't fit!” Kurt says, stressed.

Quinn rolls her eyes, “Kurt, like we've said a hundred of times, it's perfect. Do you realize how big this is? It's on the radio!”

Kurt smiles and listens to it. When it's done they both start to laugh.

“I can't believe this!” Kurt says, “we need to celebrate!”

Quinn nods, “yes, of course. I'll call the others and we'll meet up with them”

Quinn walks out of her room and down to the kitchen. Kurt sits down on the bed, still smiling. This is so unreal. Kurt smiles fades thought when he thinks about Blaine. What if he heard it? What will he think?

It doesn't matter, Kurt is done with Blaine. Blaine was probably too busy with Nathan to listen to it. Kurt rolls his eyes and walks out of the room, hating that he sounds like a jealous boyfriend.

It's only one way to forget about Blaine and that is alcohol and sex. Kurt swallows hard just thinking about it, but he can't mope around forever, he is never meeting Blaine again.

Xx

“Cheers!” everyone says and clink their glasses.

Kurt drinks half of his glass and everyone lifts an eyebrow at him.

“What?” Kurt asks and they shrug.

They have been at this bar for a while now and Kurt isn't sure what is up or down anymore. Neither do any of the others, they are really celebrating tonight.

Quinn and Puck go over to the dance floor, leaving Dylan and Kurt behind. Kurt looks over at Dylan and grins, moving closer. Dylan grins back.

“You know what happens when we are alone and drunk right?” Kurt says, biting his lip.

Dylan chuckles, “of course I do, but at some point we got to break that circle”

“We don't need to do that tonight though” Kurt winks.

“Yeah we do because I don't want to be your rebound”

Kurt runs his hands down Dylan's chest, “you're not my rebound. I don't need one because I don't have anything to get over”

Dylan lifts an eyebrow, not convinced.

“It's true! I'm over Blaine, didn't you hear my song? You've heard my song right?” Kurt wonders before remembering it was on the radio. He continues, “Anyway, it's over and I'm done. I'm ready to go back to the old me. I miss it; it's so much easier than feelings and shit. Wo needs them?”

Dylan looks at Kurt, “I'm not going to sleep with you Kurt”

“Mhm” Kurt teases and walks away to get another drink, but he ends up at the bathroom.

“Hey” someone says behind him and Kurt turns around.

It's a tall guy with black hair and dark eyes. At least it looks like he has it, Kurt isn't completely sure. One thing he knows is that he is fucking hot and interested.

“Hey, how's it going?” Kurt gives him a sexy smile and the guy smiles back.

“Not too bad, what about yourself”

“Could be better” Kurt grins and moves closer.

The guy looks at Kurt and is about to kiss him when Dylan walks in.

“What the hell? Get away from him” he says and pushes the guy away from Kurt.

Kurt frowns and tries to see what is going on. It's really hard to see! Suddenly Dylan is pushing him with him outside and into a car.

“Wait, wait, what about Puck and Quinn?” Kurt says.

“Kurt, we're here!” Quinn laughs and Kurt laughs too.

“I didn't see you!”

Everyone laughs, except Dylan, and when they get back to the house, Puck pays the driver. They all get inside the house and Kurt finds a nice place to sit, which turns out to be the floor.

Puck whispers something to Quinn and she grins, “we're going upstairs”

They run upstairs and shut the door. Kurt can hear Quinn laugh and smiles. He really likes Quinn's laughter, it's so nice.

“What are you doing on the floor?” Dylan chuckles and tries to pull Kurt up.

“I want to stay here” Kurt wines, but stands up with some difficulty.

“Don't you rather want to do this?” Dylan mumbles and kisses him.

Kurt quickly kisses him back, moaning. Kurt pushes Dylan backwards, not sure what way they are going right now, but it doesn't matter.

“Let's get upstairs” Dylan breaths heavily and they walk up to Kurt's room.

Kurt kisses Dylan after closing the door, “what changed your mind?”

“Shut up” Dylan says, “Just one last time”

Kurt grins and kisses Dylan again, too drunk to think straight.

Xx

Buzz buzz buzz

Kurt groans and opens his eyes. He hears the sound again and looks around confused. He sees his phone vibrating and understands someone is calling him. He takes his phone and let's his head fall down on the pillow again.

“Hello?” he mumbles.

“Kurt?”

Kurt opens his eyes and looks at his phone. Blaine's name is standing there. Fuck, why didn't he check?

He can hear Blaine say his name again and presses his phone to his ear.

“Yes, sorry, I'm here. Why are you calling?”

Blaine hesitate for a second, “I heard your song yesterday”

“Oh” Kurt says, not sure what else he can say.

It's so good to hear Blaine's voice, but he can't think like that anymore. He can't.

“I just wanted you to know I guess. It was really good”

Kurt can hear Blaine is trying to keep it together and Kurt just wants to jump on a plane to Ohio so he can see Blaine.

“Thanks” Kurt only says.

“Sure… I've moved to New York now” Blaine tells Kurt, but neither of them is sure why.

“That's great, I'm happy for you”

“Why didn't you come for graduation?” Blaine asks and Kurt sighs.

Because I couldn't handle it, Kurt thinks but doesn't say it.

“Who is it?” Dylan mumbles and kisses Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt freezes and hopes Blaine didn't hear that.

“Um, sorry I shouldn't have called” Blaine says and Kurt knows he heard Dylan.

“No…” Kurt says, but shakes his head.

Why can't he think of something good to say?

“Blaine…” Kurt sighs and Dylan is suddenly not so cozy anymore, “it was good to hear your voice… Sorry about everything”

“You too and you have nothing to apologize for”

“I do”

No one says anything for a few seconds before Blaine breaks the silence, “well, I should go”

“Yeah, okay… good luck with everything”

“Yeah, you too, Kurt. I-“ Blaine stops himself and Kurt tries to ignore what Blaine was probably just about to say.

“Goodbye, Blaine”

“Goodbye, Kurt”

To be continued…