Kurt was euphoric; it had been the best week he could remember.  His voice teacher was ecstatic with the pieces he chose for his vocal jury, his advising session for acting had gone just as well, in his advanced dance class the instructor had singled him out praising his technique. Plus Rachel had gradually been asking Kurt more about Blaine. He loved the fact that he could now talk openingly about his boyfriend, even if Rachel sometimes got teary eyed.

Then there was Blaine. Since opening up to each other, they had steadily begun to explore the more physical side of their relationship. Kurt loved the slow build; never before had he taken things at such a leisurely pace. They no longer spent the odd afternoon together, each day found them back at Blaine’s apartment enjoying their time with one another. Each night though, Kurt would head back to his apartment and allowed himself the time to miss him.

Kurt walked through school, scanning the halls for Blaine. His phone was in his hand and he was just contemplating texting him when he spied him talking to the same two girls from all those weeks prior.

“Hey sweetie,” Kurt greeted Blaine with a kiss who ducked his head and blushed.

“Hey Kurt,” Blaine said then turned to the girls, “Gabby, Brooke, this is my boyfriend, Kurt.”

Kurt smiled widely at the girls and they exchanged small talk before they excused themselves. Once the girls were gone though, Kurt turned to Blaine bouncing on his feet.

“Please say you don’t have any plans tonight.” he said.

Blaine blushed again, “I actually just told the girls I couldn’t study tonight. I didn’t want to commit to anything until I talked to you.”

Kurt smiled sadly, “Blaine you know you don’t have to clear your plans with me first right? I mean as much as I would love to have you all to myself sometimes, you have friends and you should do whatever you want.”

“I know,” Blaine laughed, “I promise it’s not that I thought you would be upset. It’s just- it’s Friday night and I would rather spend time with my boyfriend.”

Kurt’s true smile returned, “Good, because I think I have the perfect evening planned.”

“Really? Do tell?” Blaine said.

“Elliot texted me earlier and this guy he has been flirting with invited him to see his band play. He doesn’t want to go alone and invited us to join him. It’s near my apartment, so I thought maybe you could stay the night, if you want to.” Kurt ended almost shyly.

“Really? What about Rachel?” Blaine asked.

Kurt linked arms with Blaine and began walking them outside. “One of her friends was cast in a show that's opening tonight, she’s invited her to the show and then to the after party. She is going to stay with her. Meaning we can have the whole apartment to ourselves all night long.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Kurt assured him, “I want to share my space with you. I understand Rachel’s reticence, but I want to see you in my apartment,” then he whispered quietly in his ear, “in my bed.”

“Ok,” Blaine choked out. “Just tell me when.”

Kurt bit his lip, amazed at the effect he could have on Blaine. “I told Elliot we would meet him at the bar at nine. I will text you my address, be there at a quarter to. It’s a rock show, so dress appropriately.”

“How-” Blaine began to ask.

“However you feel comfortable, but probably best to leave the bowties at home tonight.” Kurt said with a wink.

With a kiss he left Blaine at the steps of his apartment.

Alone in his apartment, Kurt put the finishing touches to his outfit. The leather vest and pants were a costuming suggestion from Elliot for Pamela Lansbury. While they had never seen the stage Kurt was glad to have them now. The leather of the pants clung to his ass and thighs and the vest showed off the muscles he had built up after years of stage combat and dance. He had spiked his hair up and was applying eyeliner around both eyes. He liked the effect it had on them, making them stand out. He couldn’t wait to see what outfit Blaine came up with. He knew it would be nothing like the workout clothes or Brooks Brothers Blaine usually wore.

Kurt was just grabbing his keys and wallet when a knock sounded at the door. When he rolled it back, Blaine was standing there an overnight bag in hand. He was wearing a fitted white t-shirt under a leather jacket. Skintight jeans accentuated his muscular legs. Kurt looked up to his face and his mouth and eyes were both wide with shock.

“My don’t you look nice.” He said pulling Blaine gently into the apartment and then into a kiss.

When they broke apart Blaine whispered, “God you look sexy, do we have to go?”

Kurt laughed, “We do! You want to meet Elliot right?”

“Yea, just damn Kurt, just when I think I have you figured out-”

Kurt couldn’t resist kissing him again before growling “I have to keep you on your toes you know.”

They were running a little bit late after having trouble actually leaving the apartment. Kurt could live off of Blaine’s kisses and with the way Blaine always seemed to chase after them, he was sure he felt the same.

The bar was bustling by the time they made it inside. Kurt scanned the crowd looking for Elliot, his hand grasping Blaine’s. Elliot saw them first grabbing Kurt from behind in a bear hug. “Man I haven’t seen you in forever!” He yelled over the din.

Kurt turned around and returned the hug. When they broke apart, Blaine was standing there looking sheepish. Kurt grabbed his hand again and pulled him forward. “Elliot, this is Blaine.”

“Man, it is great to finally meet you, this guy can hardly stop talking about you,” Elliot laughed before pulling him into a bone crushing hug too.

When he pulled away, Blaine looked shocked but pleased. Elliot pointed to a guy on stage with a low slung bass, his long purple and black hair hanging over his face obscuring it. “That’s Draco.” He said.

“His name is Draco?” Blaine asked incredulously.

Instead of being offended Elliot chuckled before lowering his voice so only they could hear over the deafening music, “Actually his name is William Drake Livingston the third, he just goes by Draco for short. You know, rebelling against his rich boy upbringing. Hot isn’t it?”

Kurt laughed at Elliot wiggling his eyebrows while Blaine stared at him like he wasn’t sure what to make of him.

“Drinks?” Elliot asked.

After he took their order he left them standing there alone in the crowd.

“Is this your normal Friday hang out?” Blaine asked.

Kurt wrapped an arm around his waist pulling him closer, “Not really, though Elliot and I have a band, on hiatus now, but this wasn’t our speed. In fact we never really settled on one style for very long.”

They talked about Pamela Lansbury for a while, soon joined by Elliot. Kurt watched as Blaine relaxed into the conversation. Not long after, Elliot and he were talking about music and Kurt just watched as his best friend and boyfriend interacted as if they had known each other all their lives. When prerecorded music began to play as the band finished its set, Draco joined them.

With his hair out of his face Kurt could see the appeal, though in his opinion he didn’t hold a candle to Blaine. Draco was tall and lean with an almost angelic face. “What did you think?” he asked breathlessly.

“Needed more bass, that was my favorite part.” Elliot flirted running his hand over the waistband of Draco’s pants.

They were talking and laughing together enjoying the night when all of a sudden Blaine yelped in surprise. Kurt turned to him and saw him arching his back as an obviously drunk girl slurred her apologies and what appeared to be strawberry daiquiri dripped down Blaine’s back. He had lost his jacket earlier, the bar being too hot for it even in early March, so Blaine’s shirt stuck to his skin. “I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Kurt said glaring at the girl stumbling away. “It was nice to meet you Draco.”

After quick goodbyes they were outside trying to hurry back to Kurt’s apartment. Blaine shivered as he held his jacket in front of him, trying to shield himself from the cold but not ruin it by getting the sticky mess all over its lining.

“Elliot seemed great.” He told Kurt who smiled.

“He is. I knew you would like each other.”

Blaine looked up at Kurt through his lashes, “He doesn’t pull the guyliner off as well as you do.”

“Now you’re just flirting,” he laughed, “but thank you.”

Kurt led them into the apartment and then turned to Blaine, “Go take a shower.”

“Only if you promise to join me,” Blaine said boldly.

Kurt led him to the bathroom, “You get in without me and I will join you as soon as I take care of a few things.”

Kurt listened at the door until he heard the shower starting and then made himself slowly gather towels. He went to his room and double checked that everything they could possibly need later was in arm's reach. Condoms and lube in a basket by his bed, wipes and bottled water in another. He undressed, taking time to place his clothes back in the closet and his underwear in the hamper. When at least five minutes had passed he made his way to the bathroom too.

He could hear Blaine's low humming as the water splashed off his skin. He pulled the curtain back just enough to let himself in. Blaine’s hair was wet and hanging in curls over his forehead, his skin glistening. The temptation was too much for Kurt to ignore. He swiped his tongue over the bulge of his bicep earning him a needy moan from Blaine. Kurt looked down and saw he was already hard in anticipation. Kurt pushed Blaine back pressing his back against the wall and lowered himself to his knees in front of Blaine taking him in his mouth as the water fell over his head.

“Oh God,” Blaine squeaked. “Kurt please.”

Kurt pulled off.  “What do you need Blaine?” he asked before trailing his lips up and down Blaine’s length.

“Tell me what to do, please, I need you to.  I want to do so much to you and I don’t know what you want me to do- please tell me.”  Blaine begged.

Before, all of Kurt commands had been gentle, never demanding for his own pleasure, intent on showing Blaine what a caring relationship could be like. But with Blaine needing more, Kurt wanted to show him what their relationship could be.

Kurt stood up and held Blaine’s eyes with a steady gaze. “Are you clean?  Did you wash yourself?”

Blaine nodded.

“I asked you a question, answer me.”  Kurt said forcefully but with no disappointment in his voice.

“Yes-Kurt”

“Wash me.” Kurt told him and Blaine jumped to the task taking a fresh washcloth and starting with his face began to wash him. He took the time to run the wash cloth up and over Kurt body. It was quick and Kurt knew it was because he was wanting more, but also wanting to obey.

“With your mouth now.” Kurt said and he saw Blaine’s eyes light up. Kurt lost himself for a moment to the feel of Blaine’s mouth and tongue mapping his body, sucking droplets of water off his skin. He could feel his untouched cock aching for more between his legs. “You missed a spot, Take me in your mouth, as deep as you can go.”

Blaine looked up at him from his position on his knees, a pleased smile on his face before, “Yes, Mahal Ko.”

Kurt wasn’t sure what the phrase meant but it sent a warmth fluttering through him, a moment later though a shock ran up his spine as Blaine sank his mouth over him. Kurt had to hold back the urge to thrust deeper as Blaine worked his way further and further down Kurt’s shaft. He closed his eyes and just let himself feel all the sensations assaulting his body at once; the water tingling every overstimulated nerve and Blaine’s beautiful mouth tantalizing over every inch of his cock. He could feel himself barreling towards an orgasm soon and wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Enough,” he breathed. Immediately Blaine was sitting against his heels looking up at Kurt with eyes dark and red lips parted. His face was so open, Kurt knew that this was exactly what he wanted.

“Come here,” Kurt said and when Blaine was standing in front of him he kissed him deeply. He could taste himself on Blaine’s tongue and moaned at the thought. He reached a hand down and began stroking Blaine in long even pulls, not enough to make him come, but just enough to tease.

Kurt pulled away and whispered in Blaine’s ear, “I am going to turn you around and press you up against the wall. First I am going to use my tongue to open you up, and then my fingers. I’ll get you ready for my cock and then I am going to fuck you.” He took Blaine’s earlobe in his mouth and then whispered, “Color?”

“Berde, oh god please, so Berde. I want you. I haven’t ever wanted anything else as much as I want you to fuck me,” Blaine panted against Kurt’s neck.

“Good,” Kurt said kissing him hungrily.

Blaine whimpered as Kurt pulled away and then again as he was pushed under the spray. Kurt smoothed his hands over Blaine’s plump ass before pulling the cheeks aside to reveal his puckered entrance. Without further warning Kurt licked a swipe over his hole, earning him a high needy moan.  He kissed and licked tasting the musk there, as if it were a delicacy only for him. Finally he pushed his tongue in feeling the muscles flex around it. Only when he could hear Blaine panting ‘more’ and ‘please’ above him did Kurt slip one long slim finger up and inside Blaine for the first time. He stood as he began working his finger around in circles and pushing it in and out; the water cascading down Blaine’s back helping with the slide.

“You are so beautiful, you are all I have ever wanted” he whispered into Blaine’s ear, letting his dick rub into Blaine’s cheek.

“Mahal Ko, please, please-” Blaine chanted.

Kurt slid his finger out and placed another beside it. Blaine whimpered as both breached his entrance together. Kurt turned Blaine’s face to him kissing him, silencing the noises. He was just beginning to twist his fingers when the bathroom door banged open startling them.

“Kurt you will never believe who I saw tonight,” Rachel’s distressed voice filled the room.

Kurt slowly pulled his fingers out of Blaine and gestured with his other hand for him to be quiet. “Um, Rachel this isn’t the best time.” He called out to her.

“Why? We always talk when you are in the shower.”

Kurt parted the curtain just enough to stick his head out. Rachel was clearly distraught but the selfish part of Kurt wanted to yell at her that she said she would be gone all night. Something must have clearly shown on his face because she gasped, “Oh my god! Is Blaine in there with you?” She sounded hysterical.

Kurt opened and closed his mouth for a minute before hissing, “You said you would be gone.”

“I know I just-” she began before leaning from side to side trying in vain to see past Kurt’s head. “I want to meet him- that’s not why I am home- but now that we are both here. I think I am ready to meet him.”

“Well I don’t know if now is the best time-” Kurt began before feeling a strong hand on his shoulder, he looked around to see Blaine staring at him nodding, though he looked embarrassed.

“Just give us five minutes.” He told Rachel.

Kurt watched Rachel walk out the door before turning back to Blaine. “Ok, well that was unexpected. Are you sure you are up to this?” Blaine nodded again, “Blaine, sweetie, talk to me.”

Blaine relaxed a bit, “I just- this was not the way I thought I would meet her. Are you sure she isn’t going to hate me?”

Kurt took Blaine’s face in his hands, “I don’t know how the entire world doesn’t fall instantly in love with you Blaine Anderson,” and then kissed him gently before pulling back. “I’m going to go out and grab your bag. I’ll get dressed and go talk to Rachel, you join us when you are ready okay?”

“Thank you.”

Kurt kissed him again before turning off the shower and getting out. He handed Blaine a towel before grabbing one himself. Once it was wrapped snuggly around his waist he kissed Blaine once more and left the room. Rachel was sitting in an overstuffed chair with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. He hurried to the door, trying not to catch her eye as he grabbed Blaine’s bag. When he opened the bathroom door to hand it to him, Blaine looked sheepishly over at him and smiled. Seeing that smile warmed Kurt’s heart; everything would be okay.

Kurt hurried to his room and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a warm sweater before sitting on the couch near Rachel. “What happened? Why are you home?” Kurt said.

She looked contemplative not sad, so a little of Kurt’s worries eased away. “You will never guess who is in Tess’ show.” She paused and when she saw Kurt wasn’t going to take the bait continued. “Jessie St. James. I never thought I would see him again.”

“So you didn’t want to go to the afterparty because you saw an ex boyfriend?” he asked.

Rachel huffed, “Not just that, I just didn’t think I could deal with the questions and- I don’t know. At that moment it was just too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Can we talk about this later? I think I need to understand it myself before I start trying to explain it to someone else.” Then she smiled at him, “The shower huh? You have to whole apartment and you decide to sully the shower?”

Kurt laughed, “It’s not like it was my plan. Some girl spilled her drink all over Blaine and he had to take a shower. And since when do you, Rachel Berry, ask me about my sex life?”

“Since apparently you started having it in our apartment.” She told him sternly.

Kurt softened, “Are you okay with this?”

Rachel looked away as she answered, “More than I thought I would be. I was startled at first but it doesn’t hurt. It’s weird, I could tell from your face, how swollen your lips were and your eyes- I knew what you were doing.” She trailed off then looked at him again. “I’m sorry if I made this hard on you. I really am happy you found someone.”

Kurt was about to tell her he thought he might have found more than just someone when the bathroom door opened and Blaine walked out. He was tugging at the hem of his henley- clearly uncomfortable meeting Kurt’s roommate in his pajamas. Kurt held his hand out to him and as soon as he was close enough he took it. “Rachel this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine this is Rachel Berry.”

“I know you!” Rachel squealed as Blaine took his seat beside Kurt. “You sang ‘Nothing's Gonna Harm You’ for Mcgraw's class last year! You are quite the performer.”

Both men gaped at her for a second, Blaine pleased at the compliment and Kurt at how nice the compliment was. “I did,” Blaine said, “Thank you.”

“Okay, now I am jealous,” Kurt teased, “so Rachel got to hear you sing but I haven’t.”

“I’ll sing for you anytime you want me to, just say the word,” Blaine said his eyes soft. Kurt smiled back at him and unthinking, cuddled him into his side.

“Oh my god, you two are too much,” Rachel said standing, her blankets still clutched around her. “It was very nice to meet you Blaine, I hope to see you around here more often from now on okay?”

Blaine nodded and Kurt squeezed him around his waist. “Yes, Thank you. It was nice meeting you too.”

“I’m going to go to bed. You know I have some wonderful noise canceling headphones my dad's got me when we first moved here. I think I am going to put them on and listen to some music, Yes, that sounds like a good idea.” Rachel said heading off to her side of the loft. “You two have fun.”

“What was that?” Blaine asked turning to Kurt.

“I think that was Rachel’s way of telling us she approves.” Kurt said in awe. Then he grinned wickedly, “You know those headphones are really great. We don’t have to worry about disturbing her.”

“Kurt!” Blaine laughed.

“I don’t think I was quite finished with you yet.” Kurt teased kissing down Blaine’s neck.

“Oh god I hope not.” Blaine sighed.

“My room, now.” Kurt ordered playfully.

He followed Blaine to his part of the loft and when he turned back from shutting the curtain, Blaine was kneeling at the foot of his bed, his hands on his knees and his head bowed.

Kurt’s breath hitched. This was the first time Blaine had ever kneeled for him and the sight of it was breathtaking, “Oh, but you are beautiful.” He could see Blaine’s cheek lift in a pleased smile. “Blaine look at me,” he said walking to stand in front of Blaine. He cupped his cheek gently in one hand and looked deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes. . “I love you. I don’t know when it happened but- I have fallen so deeply and irrevocably in love with you.” His heart clenched at the admission. He didn’t mean to say it, not then, not with Blaine on his knees, but he knew with every fiber of his being that it was true.

He could see tears in Blaine’s eyes and he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Rather than wait for an answer Kurt said, “Kiss me.” In a flash Blaine was on his feet kissing Kurt with a fervor he had never shown before.

Blaine pulled back after a minute. “I think- I think I love you too Kurt but-”

Kurt soothed the worried lines between Blaine’s eyes with his thumb, “When you know- when you know for certain, then tell me.  I can wait. It’s okay.”  It was okay, Kurt didn’t need Blaine to love him, not right at that moment.  He understood that there was still a lot Blaine hadn’t told him.  It was okay.  He could wait for Blaine.  “Now about those plans we were talking about-”

“Please-” Blaine whined.

Kurt backed up to where he could watch Blaine. “Undress and lie on your back.”

He watched Blaine hurriedly take off his clothes as he slowly undressed himself. By the time Blaine was lying on the bed Kurt had only pulled his sweater over his head. He could see Blaine yearning to help, wanting to touch, but also wanting to obey.  He watched as Blaine’s eyes grew hungry as he slid his pants down his legs.  He walked slowly over to the basket beside his bed and pulled out the lube and a condom, lightly tossing them on the bed before sitting next to Blaine, all the time trying to ignore how Blaine's cock filled with anticipation.

Kurt ran his hand lightly up and down Blaine’s chest then pinched his nipple to hear Blaine hiss before moaning low. “Tell me what you want.”

Blaine’s breath hitched once, twice and again before he spoke. “Fuck me -no, no make love to me, please.”

Kurt’s heart sped at the request.  He wanted to tell Blaine it was both, it could always be both, but didn’t want to risk sounding cheesy.  “Oh that I think I can do.”  Kurt said instead before leaning down and kissing him, working them both into a state of full arousal again. Soon he was laid out on top of Blaine, chest to chest, legs tangled together.  He shifted to the side as he grabbed the lube and slicked his fingers. The slick slide of smooth finger against puckered entrance made them both moan.  He listened to the noises Blaine made as first one then two fingers were added.  When Kurt began swirling three around his hole he whispered, “Color?”

“Berde.” Blaine moaned arching his back trying in vain to get what he wanted.  Kurt didn’t make him want any longer.  He twisted and scissored his fingers inside Blaine leaving him keening with want as he brushed repeatedly against his prostate.  Until, “Now, please now.  I’m ready for you Mahal Ko, please.”

“Shh,” Kurt soothed. “I have you.” Kurt moved between his legs and Blaine made to turn over. “No sweetheart, I didn’t tell you to move.  Stay right where you are.”

Kurt grabbed the ankle of Blaine’s right leg lifting it up to rest on his shoulder and then grabbed the condom.  Blaine watched as Kurt rolled it down his length and pumped more lube on himself. “I love you,” Kurt said as he lined up.  Blaine bit his lips and tears glistened in his eyes. Slowly Kurt pushed in feeling each ring of muscle give way.  He pumped in and out slowly until his hips rested firmly against the swell of Blaine’s ass, fully seated.  He watched Blaine’s face as he moved his hips in small circles waiting for when he was ready for him to move.  “Mahal Ko, make love to me, please.”  Blaine whispered.

Kurt moved, pulling out before slowly pushing back in gaining speed with each thrust. Kurt could feel his orgasm flooding in all too soon but wasn’t ready for it to be over yet. He slowed his thrusts before pulling out completely. Blaine groaned and looked at him with pleading eyes.

“On your side sweetheart.” Kurt said and Blaine moved in an instant. Kurt spooned in behind him; like that he could kiss Blaine’s neck. In a moment he was inside again but this time impossibly tighter than before. He could reach around and jerk Blaine’s cock as he filled him with his own, over and over, taking them higher in their passion. He laved his tongue behind Blaine’s ear and then sucked a mark in the spit slicked skin. It was all becoming too much and he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer, the heat and the friction and it being Blaine added up to more than he could stand.

“Come whenever you are ready,” he whispered as his hips gained speed pounding into Blaine so his only answer was staccato breaths.  Kurt wasn’t sure he could keep the rhythm up much longer and part of him was sure he would blink out of existence as soon as he came. His whole body seemed on fire and his release wasn’t coming it was just building higher still. He could hear Blaine chanting softly, “Mahal Ko, Mahal Ko, Kurt-” and then he was coming in strips across Kurt’s hand and clenching around his cock sending Kurt even higher. Blaine went limp in his arms and he heard him sigh “Mahal Ko, my love.” Kurt’s orgasm tore through him and his mind went blank.

He came back to himself a few seconds later, his whole body still alive with aftershocks. Blaine was breathing slow and deep. If Kurt hadn’t known better he would have thought he was asleep but his eyes were open and clear. He pulled out of Blaine, but pulled him back to his chest. They could clean up later. He held Blaine until he began to stir.

“I felt like I was floating,” Blaine whispered.

“That my dear, was sub space. Have you never gotten there before?” Blaine shook his head. “Drink some water and I will clean us up.” Kurt said.

Once they were both clean and had some water, they lay entwined with each other. “I love you,” Kurt said as they drifted off to sleep.

Blaine couldn't sleep, he felt unsettled. It wasn’t the break up; Sebastian had been largely unemotional during the whole ordeal, and while that hurt more than Blaine would like to admit, he felt unshackled for the first time in two years. He felt free but the untethered feeling was unsettling. It was a feeling he should probably get used to. He didn’t think he could give anyone the chance to hurt him like that again.

It was the conversation with his mother that continued to ring in his ears that was not allowing him to sleep.  It was one phrase he couldn’t rid his mind of. “A real Dom will only give you what you want and need,” she said with tears in her eyes as she examined the fresh lash marks on his back.

He had trusted Sebastian, let him convince him that he wasn’t trying hard enough to like it and if he didn’t enjoy it maybe he was broken.  He could hear every demeaning phrase repeating. ‘A real sub would love it.’ ‘Why can’t you just enjoy the things I give you?’ ‘Subspace is just a myth made up by weak doms and subs who are too afraid to push their limits.’ ‘You should crave the pain, unless you are defective.’ What other lies had he fed him?  What had he believed was true just so he could have a sliver of approval from him?  He couldn’t separate the truth from the manipulation.

Blaine vowed as he lay in bed, his back throbbing, that it would be the last time.  He wouldn't let anyone else close enough to hurt him. If he ever did he would have to trust his partner before he could trust himself enough to still use his safe words; new ones, he couldn't use the color system again not after the beating he received for daring to utter the word yellow.  That wouldn’t happen again he would trust them to listen if he safe worded, they wouldn't punish him for it. He would always be grateful for his mom for showing him what he wouldn’t let himself see, for holding his hand as he broke it off, and for holding him as he cried after Sebastian left.

If he ever let anyone that close again, they would have to deserve to be there.