When Kurt walked in the door, Rachel was sitting on the couch, a book in her lap and a movie playing in the background. “Where have you been? Class ended hours ago. Surely you weren’t practicing with Ian. Wasn’t your presentation today?”

Kurt knew that it was going to happen, but if he was going to make it back to Blaine’s by eight he would have to multitask “I actually wanted to talk to you about that,” Kurt told her, “but I need to take a shower, give me a few minutes and we will talk.”

Kurt gathered his things and started the shower warming up. No sooner had he stepped behind the shower curtain than Rachel’s voice filled the room. He knew she was sat primly on the seat of the toilet. “Okay, so what is it?” She asked.

“I haven’t been meeting with Ian as much as you think I have. We mainly worked on our routine during class and the occasional afternoon.” Kurt said, wanting to ease her into the conversation. He began washing himself as he waited for her to process the information.

“If you haven’t been working with Ian, where have you been?  Are you still seeing Elliot then?” She asked.

He had no idea what Rachel could be talking about. “What do you mean?”

“I figured out you two were together a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to tell me yourself. I like Elliot and you seem to work well together. I could see your chemistry when your band performed. When you told me that Pamela Lansbury was taking a break, I thought maybe you broke up. Are you still seeing each other then?” Kurt was glad Rachel couldn’t see his face as he was sure it was bright red, not out of embarrassment but anger.

He furiously scrubbed the shampoo into his hair as he said, “Do you honestly think that I would keep a relationship of over two years from you? Elliot was there for me when you were too caught up in your own life to worry about me. When I met Elliot I was in a bad place for a lot of reasons and he was the only one to actually see it. I understand that you were in a bad place too, but sometimes I think you forget you weren’t the only one to lose someone when Finn died. He may have been your soulmate but he was my brother. He may have only been my brother for three years but I loved him too!” Kurt washed the shampoo out of his hair, letting the water wash away the angry tears he couldn’t hold back. He breathed for a moment before continuing, “And then Cameron left and I had no one. So yes, Elliot and I hung out a lot because he kept me from self destructing.”

Rachel was silent, so Kurt finished in the shower and wrapped his towel around his waist before pushing the shower curtain aside. Rachel was sitting there with tears in her eyes. “I had no idea you had such a hard time.”

“Maybe if you had taken a second to look around you, you would have realized that you weren’t the only one hurting.” Kurt softened a moment. “I get it, I do. But Rachel I haven’t been in a serious relationship since Cameron, until now?”

“Now?” She asked looking up at him.

“I mean, I don’t know if it is serious. We haven’t talked about that part of it.” He walked out of the bathroom needing to get dressed but knowing that Rachel would follow. “For me though, this is the most serious relationship I have had.”

“How long?” Rachel asked uncharacteristically timid.

“We’ve been dating about a month.” Kurt said as he eyed his closet.

“But you were with Cameron for six weren’t you?”

He chuckled, “Yes, but that doesn’t mean anything. With Adam, even before I found out we weren’t compatible, I knew we weren’t forever. He was charming, and attractive; but besides the giddy excitement of having someone interested in me, there was no real spark.” Kurt thought a moment as he pulled on his pants and let Rachel in the room. “Cameron, he was my first. We worked well together and I liked him, but I knew from the start he wasn’t my soulmate. We had fun together, but it was never much more than that. Do you know why he left?” he asked.

“I just assumed you got into a fight or something.” Rachel admitted. He could see she felt bad now that he made her realize what a bad friend she had been.

“If only,” Kurt said turning to his closet to find a sweater. “He said it was too much after Finn died, he was scared off because I needed someone else to be strong for me for a while. Unless it was sexual, he didn’t want to take care of me. I wanted a boyfriend, he wanted a master.”

“I had no idea,” Rachel said placing a hand on his bare shoulder. Kurt turned around and gave her a sad smile before pulling a sweater over his head.

“I kind of lost control for a while. I screwed around, just trying to find a connection, to feel something. That’s when I met Elliot, he brought me to my senses, and before you ask we never slept together.” Kurt laughed. “Elliot and the band gave me focus”

“What about this new guy?” Rachel asked.

“Blaine,” Kurt gave her a genuine smile. “I could fall in love with Blaine. I don’t know if he is my soulmate but I could fall in love with him. And I don’t think I will stop myself from it.”

Rachel’s breath hitched at his confession. “I don’t- as much as I want to be a good friend, and I am sorry that I wasn’t before, I don’t know if I am ready to meet him yet. With Elliot, even though I thought you were together, you always acted just like friends-”

“Because we were,” Kurt interrupted.

“I know that now,” Rachel said punching him lightly on the arm. “but I don’t know if I can see you with someone yet at least not here. It’s hard enough to see it all around me when I leave the house- but I will try, just give me time?”

“Of course, that was why I wanted to talk to you.” Kurt told her giving her a hug. “I’m sorry I got mad. I was talking to Blaine earlier about Finn so I was already in kind of a bad place.”

“You told him about Finn?” Rachel asked snuggling closer.

“I think he thought I was embarrassed about him and that was why I wouldn't bring him here. I wanted him to understand.” Kurt told her.

“Did he?” She asked.

“He did.” He said stepping back, “Which is why, I need to pack a bag for tonight. I may not be home later, don’t wait up.”

Rachel’s face lit up with shock and a hint of amusement. “Kurt Hummel, are you spending the night with him?”

“If I’m lucky.” He smiled before turning to his closet again to pack his bag.

Blaine buzzed Kurt into his building just before eight that night. Kurt could hardly contain his giddiness at this new step in their relationship. It shouldn't have seemed huge after that afternoon, but hearing the buzz opening the door to let him in, instead of Blaine's voice telling him he was on his way filled Kurt with immeasurable happiness.

Blaine was standing in his doorway with a huge smile on his face when he saw Kurt with his bag walking up the hall. Kurt greeted him with a kiss.

“Are you ready?” He asked placing his bag just inside the doorway. Neither commented on it.

“I’m starving,” Blaine said locking the door behind them.

The two ended up at a small restaurant not too far from Blaine’s place, after Blaine raved about their food. They settled into a booth in the corner.

Blaine began telling Kurt all about the food and what he thought Kurt might like.  Kurt sat marveling at the man before him.  He was so animated and outgoing, you never would have guessed the insecurities that lay beneath that Kurt had seen a glimpse of just hours before.

They ordered their food and once the waitress had left them Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his. “You're amazing, did you know that?” He said.

Blaine blushed and looked away for a moment before looking back at Kurt with his big brown eyes. “I’m not. Not really.”

“Blaine,” Kurt said, “You really, really are. Trust me not many guys are as handsome as you and smart and sweet and funny. You are absolutely, utterly breathtaking, and I will do whatever it takes to convince you of that fact.”

Blaine opened and closed his mouth a couple of times clearly trying to think of what to say, all the while his blush grew. Finally, he said, “I-thank you Kurt. I have to admit, I feel pretty lucky.”

They ate their meal talking about everything. Kurt told Blaine about his juries coming up. “They are just around the corner. I almost feel like I don’t have enough time to prepare. In seven weeks I have to perform in front of all our professors in the hopes that they will deem me fit to graduate. It’s a lot and once they are done, it’s the senior showcase and graduation. I can't believe I have almost survived NYADA.”

“I can’t wait to be finished,” Blaine admitted. “I mean I like school, but I want to start auditioning, or maybe find a job teaching. I want to start proving I can do it.”

Once their plates were cleared, Kurt could tell Blaine was ready to go; he kept looking around trying to find their waitress. Kurt grabbed his hand again and said, “Before we go, can we talk about something?”

“Can't we talk about it at my place?” Blaine asked looking slightly worried but also excited to go back to his apartment. It warmed Kurt’s heart to see that excitement after a month of not knowing when or if they would get there.

“I would rather talk now, where- where hopefully we won’t get distracted, if that's okay with you.”

Blaine nodded before saying, “What is this about?”

“We really should have talked about this before, but Blaine- I like you and if we are going to take this relationship to the next level I want to make sure we are on the same page. I don’t want  either of us to second guess or assume.”

“Oh.” Blaine said looking away from Kurt.

“I want you to be my boyfriend.” He said and Blaine's head whipped up to look at him with round wide eyes. The look was so shocked, Kurt's mind went into overload and he began babbling. “I understand you may not want the same thing. But I’ve done the whole no strings thing before and honestly it’s not me. It is not something I want to do ever again. So if we are going to do this, I want it to be just us-”

“Kurt,” Blaine said cutting him off before he could continue. “I  would love that but maybe we need to talk more about this first.”

Kurt gulped, “Okay, whatever you want to know.”

Blaine shook his head, “Not just you, me too. We both have pasts- and maybe it was naive of me to think that I wouldn't have to share it.”

“I can go first if you want?” Kurt offered. When Blaine nodded he began, “Okay, you know about Adam, nothing happened there physically, but we were together for- I guess two months. Then I met Cameron. We were dating when Finn- he couldn’t handle the whole grieving thing- when he left I was really messed up. Not just because of him, but really because of Finn. I mean I loved him.” Kurt saw Blaine flinch and clarified, “Finn I mean. He was my brother in every way but blood. With him gone and when Cameron left I just felt like nothing mattered- especially me. I was always safe, I wasn’t that destructive, but I slept with a lot of guys. Then I tried to pick up this guy Elliot and he saw the pain I was in. What was supposed to be a one night stand turned into basically a counseling session and a lifelong friendship. That was two years ago and I haven’t been with anyone since.” Kurt kept his eyes in his lap, not wanting to see the disgust he just knew was all over Blaine’s face. Then he felt a smooth hand cupping his jaw, urging him to look up. Blaine looked anything but disgusted; worried, sad, tender, but not disgusted.

“This Elliot guy must be really great.” Blaine said.

Kurt huffed a laugh, “He is, he’s one of my best friends. He probably saved my life.”

“Then I want to meet him one day because I think I really need to thank him.” Blaine said ducking his head. “I -um- I have only been with one guy. We met in high school. My sophomore year I went to this private school but after I was marked- um my dad he made me go to public school.”

“Why?” Kurt inquired, confused.

“Can we talk about that later?” Blaine asked.

“Sure of course, whenever you feel up to it.” Kurt assured him.

“Anyway, after I left this new guy transferred into my old school and some of my friends introduced us and- I really thought he liked me. He always said the right things and he was exactly like I thought a Dom should be. Unfortunately, I didn't mean as much to him as I thought I did. While he had me following his commands whenever he wanted, he was also doing the same thing to several other guys too. I thought we were boyfriends, but apparently he thought otherwise. For two years he strung me along and I took a lot of things because I thought that was just how these relationships were. It wasn't until my mom saw the bruises and asked me about them that I realized that what he was doing wasn’t dominance, it was abuse-” Blaine trailed off.

All of a sudden Kurt wanted to be anywhere else but the restaurant. He wanted to take Blaine in his arms, let him know with every cell he had that he did not deserve to ever be treated like anything but a gift. He also wanted to find this guy and pummel him within an inch of his life- granted only with his words, because unfortunately, even in this situation, Kurt was not a violent person.

“Blaine, sweetheart, I would never do that to you. I may have been kind of a whore, but I never mistreated the guys I was with.” Kurt told him hoping he could see everything he was feeling that his words just couldn’t cover, not here, not now.

“I know, Kurt. That's why I trust you.” Blaine said, grabbing his hand in a vice grip. “And also why I would love to be your boyfriend. If you still want me-”

“More than ever.” Kurt told him.

They waved for their check and after the waitress left Kurt said, “We can talk about health stuff on the way back to your place. That was originally why I wanted to talk.  But I think I liked your topic better, at least how it ended.”

Back at Blaine’s apartment, Kurt spent most of the night worshiping every inch of Blaine’s body. With each stroke and kiss he told Blaine how precious he was. His only command to feel and enjoy. Afterwards, Blaine wrapped himself up in Kurt’s arms feeling for the first time safe, cherished and completely content.

Loud music filled the air of the small club and Elliot enjoyed the excuse to dance. He looked around the space for anyone who caught his eye. He was in a mind to be dominated, his body to be used to sate someone’s desire. But hell, he was horny.  If the right guy came along he would gladly order them on their knees and take what he needed. He was just horny.  A thin pale, guy caught his eye, standing close to the bar, but the look on his face made it clear he was scouting for something.  Elliot took him in, he was handsome in an elfin sort of way all long lines and sharp angles. He bit his lip when he caught Elliot starring but his bashfulness disappeared as he pushed off the bar and headed in Elliot’s direction.

He didn’t say anything just began dancing with Elliot. They were one of the few couples on the dance floor, most others just there to drink. ”What’s your name?” Elliot asked doing his best to let his submissive side take hold.

“Kurt, what’s yours gorgeous?” Kurt asked in return.

Once he told him his name, it seemed that Kurt had more on his mind than small talk. He kissed his way up Elliot’s neck making him shiver at the gentle yet sure movement.  When he made it to Elliot’s ear he whispered, ”Please tell me you’re a sub,”

“Switch.”  Elliot moaned as Kurt took his earlobe in his mouth. “Didn’t the purple eye liner clue you in?”

“You want to have some fun?”  He asked.

Elliot didn't hesitate, it seemed they had the same thing in mind.

Back at Elliot’s apartment things changed, without the dim light of the bar, he could see the pain behind Kurt’s eyes. He wouldn’t allow himself to be used as something else to hurt this guy.  He seemed nice, their small talk in the cab gave a glimmer that they could be more, they weren’t matched well to be boyfriends or soul mates unless a third joined them, a sub so they could all be fulfilled, but maybe friends.  Elliot wasn’t sure if he was into polyamorous relationships.

“As much as I would love you to fuck me man, I don’t think that’s what’s best. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”