March 8, 2016, 6 p.m.
What Our Colors Don't Show: Chapter 4
E - Words: 3,669 - Last Updated: Mar 08, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 14/14 - Created: Mar 08, 2016 - Updated: Mar 08, 2016 204 0 0 0 0
Kurt didn’t know how he had gone so long without Blaine in his life. After those first three dates, they came up with an odd rhythm, they would go out every few days and text and talk in between. They even seemed to find each other as they were leaving school most days. Kurt would walk Blaine back to his apartment before heading to his own. Kurt however, still had yet to make it through Blaine’s apartment door. Through weeks of dates, even braving to see each other on Valentine’s day though they were so new, Kurt always left Blaine at the steps of the building. Their kisses grew longer, and Kurt walked to the subway feeling punch drunk after every encounter, but he didn’t know how to take the next step.
It wasn’t that Kurt was discontent with how things were going. He could tell that Blaine was struggling with letting him in both figuratively and literally. Kurt could be patient, after all if he wanted to be a good dom he would have to let Blaine set the pace. He would just wait for the moment when Blaine would show him when he was ready for more. Kurt would be content with just sitting down while kissing him, maybe a good long makeout session, but he could wait.
One day a full month later, Kurt hurried down the hall, heading from the dressing rooms to his stage combat class. He was running behind and had to get to class before it started, Hauser would have his head if he was late. He was so worried he almost didn't hear Blaine call his name from beside the water fountain.
“Hey,” he said fondly.
Blaine smiled back, “My theatre history class is cancelled today, I should be finished in a few minutes if you want to get some coffee.”
“I can’t,” Kurt hated turning down an opportunity to spend time with Blaine, “at least not right now. We are presenting our choreography in Hauser's class. I should be done in an hour if you want to meet me there.”
Blaine looked taken aback for a moment before agreeing. Kurt kissed him on the forehead before jogging off. He would have to really hurry now to make it to class on time but seeing Blaine was always worth it.
Hauser’s class was surprisingly one of Kurt’s favorites. He had originally taken stage combat on a whim to fill his electives. Six classes later, it was officially a minor. They had been working on combination routines, mixing hand to hand with sword fighting in Kurt’s case, and then choreographing their own fights. He was excited to present, but his partner Ian was a little more reticent. Kurt sat and watched the other pairs present their fights all the while running over their own in his mind. Finally when no one else remained, Ian couldn’t put it off any longer.
Kurt loved their fight, he had worked hard on in for weeks, taking the lead from the start. Ian began as the aggressor, swinging wildly at Kurt so that he could only deflect each blow. Kurt loved how he could act the role as well as fight it, letting it seem like Ian was going to get the better of him. The tides changed, however, when Kurt was backed against the wall and with two well aimed swings knocked Ian off balance and relieved him of his shield. Then the real fight began. Swords crashed and Kurt even smashed his shield into Ian’s head who took it like a master. Eventually they both lost their swords and they fought hand to hand until Kurt snatched Ian’s from off the ground and held it under Ian’s chin.
Hauser stood clapping in the loud staccato rhythm he was known for. “Excellent Mr. Hummel, Mr. Wright. That was a well thought out routine, well done. Alright class, your evaluations will be up by Monday. Enjoy your weekend.”
Kurt turned to Ian and nodded to him, ready to tell him what a great job he did, but the words stuck in his throat, standing in the door, his eyes wide and a flush on his cheeks was Blaine. Kurt stood where he was, trying to decipher the look on Blaine’s face. When everyone had left, Kurt spoke, “Were you watching?”
He didn’t say anything but finally left his place by the door and walked towards Kurt, who kept waiting for him to say something. When it appeared he wasn’t, when he just stood in front of Kurt looking up at him with wide dark eyes, Kurt broke the silence, “Do you still want to go get coffee?”
“No,” Blaine said, his voice even and resolved. Then, before Kurt could let the disappointment and hurt wash over him Blaine continued, “No, I want to go back to your place.”
Kurt tried not to read too much into it, but said, “We can’t, not to my place. My roommate-”
Blaine kissed him gently, just a soft brushing of his lips that stopped any other words from forming, “Then my place-take me back to my place.”
Forgoing changing, Kurt grabbed his jacket and took Blaine’s hand in his. As they walked out of school Kurt tried to make sense of the sudden change in Blaine. He was his normal reserved self in the hall the only difference was- “Were you watching me?” he asked again looking over at Blaine.
He could see him swallow before answering, “Yea, I wasted all the time I could. I showered and changed and I thought I would just wait for you. I thought Hauser was a dance teacher.” Blaine laughed. “But seeing you- you were amazing.”
“Blaine” Kurt said feeling his heart race.
“Can we- can we talk about this more later?” Blaine asked “I don’t- I’m sure about this Kurt-so sure.”
“Okay,” Kurt said, “As long as you promise we will talk.”
Soon after, Kurt stepped into Blaine’s building for the first time. He followed Blaine up to the fifth floor and down the tiny hall to a door on the end. He watched as with shaky fingers Blaine unlocked the door before standing aside to let Kurt in.
It was a small space, hardly more than a room. Blaine’s bed fit snuggly against one wall, a TV mounted to another. The kitchen with it’s tiny table took up the other and the last housed two doors, what Kurt could only assume was a closet and bathroom. A few book shelves and side tables were the only other furniture in the space. This was all Kurt could take in before Blaine was standing in front of him, anticipation on his face.
“Suddenly I feel like I am playing catch-up here,” Kurt laughed. “I don’t want to overstep, so I need to know what you are ready for.”
“I don’t know, but I have safe words picked out, can you trust me to use them?”
“Picked out? Have you never?” Kurt asked suddenly feeling a lot more pressure to be what Blaine needed.
Blaine blushed, “This isn’t my first relationship, but- I don’t - I didn’t want the usual safe words, not anymore.”
“What are they?” Kurt asked.
“Berde means green. Dilaw, is yellow, when I need you to slow down or change directions.” Blaine took a deep breath before continuing, “And Pula, it’s red and when I need you to stop.”
“Berde, Dilaw, Pula. Where did-” Kurt asked.
“They’re Tagalog. I always wanted, and I thought maybe you would be okay-”
“They’re perfect Blaine, just like you.” Kurt told him before closing the space between them and kissing him.
Kurt didn’t have to think when kissing Blaine, he could lose himself in the sensation of lips and tongues, just tasting and exploring. This time his hands explored too; mapping their way from shoulders down arms, back up again and landing on Blaine’s chest. Kurt broke the kiss and Blaine seemed to follow him a moment before opening his eyes.
Kurt led him to the bed, before sitting himself down and staring up at Blaine. He watched him for a moment before he pushed himself up until his back was against the wall. “Join me.” Kurt said, his voice soft, but the command still there. Blaine shivered a second before crawling up to meet him. Kurt had to squeeze his fist to control the urges surging through him at the sight of Blaine on his knees. He must have known the effect he was having on Kurt if his coy smile was anything to go by. Kurt kissed it away pulling Blaine forward until he was straddling Kurt’s lap. His hands found purchase on Blaine’s hips, keeping him still, a silent command not to move as Kurt’s lips migrated to Blaine’s neck, kissing, sucking and nipping at the skin. He could feel every moan as it traveled up Blaine’s throat. He took his time, finding each spot that seemed to drive him wild. When he could feel Blaine straining to keep from moving, he released his hips and moved back to his mouth.
Kurt eventually pulled away, his eyes locking with Blaine’s, they were almost black with arousal. Kurt took this as a good sign. Not breaking eye contact, he began unbuttoning Blaine’s shirt, ready to stop if he spoke a safe word. When he only gasped, Kurt gave the task his full attention. Each button revealed more of a toned torso, beautifully tanned until Blaine was shirtless above him. Kurt reached for the hem of his tank top before a hand stopped him. “Please, can I?” Blaine asked biting his bottom lip. It was all Kurt could do not to suck that lip into his own mouth. Instead he nodded and held back a moan as Blaine’s hands skimmed up his body taking the shirt with them. He let him linger, his fingers caressing his chest, tracing each contour. Kurt leaned forward and took one of Blaine’s nipples into his mouth. The move earned him another needy whimper. He let himself taste and explore every inch of skin he could reach until Blaine was panting. Only then did he tease his fingers over the waistband of Blaine’s jeans.
“Please,” Blaine moaned, “Please Kurt.”
“Lay down, sweetheart.” Kurt told him with that same gentle commanding voice.
Kurt made quick work ridding Blaine of his jeans and then his own pants. They were left in only their underwear. Kurt looked down on Blaine, his cock straining against the taut fabric of his blue briefs. He knew he was in the same state, as Blaine stared hungrily at the front of Kurt's black boxer briefs. “Stay right there,” Kurt said, and moved to the end table. He opened the drawer, only finding lube there. The absence of condoms limited their options. Kurt wouldn’t allow them to go too far without protection and a health evaluation each, but that was a conversation for later. When he returned to Blaine he found him in the exact same position he had left him. Kurt rewarded him with a kiss, fitting his body on top of his. “You can move,” he said between kisses. They kissed and rutted together, their movements growing erratic. Kurt could feel his orgasm growing and sped his movements. Blaine pulled away from the kisses and begged, “Please Kurt. Please I need-”
Kurt waited until he was on the edge before he nipped Blaine’s ear and whispered, “Come for me Blaine.” The instant Kurt said his name he could feel him tense underneath him and a guttural cry filled the air. Only then did Kurt let his orgasm overtake him.
Kurt rolled off Blaine and they laid side by side trying to catch their breath, hands clasped together. As he began to come down he rolled onto his side and looked once more at Blaine. His cheeks were flushed and a sleepy smile barely curved his kiss swollen lips but his eyes were bright as he looked back at Kurt.
“Go to the bathroom, get cleaned up and put on comfortable pants. Then come back here when you are done,” Kurt told him before adding, “And be quick, I want to cuddle and we need to talk.”
He could see the effect the simple commands were having on Blaine in his already relaxed state; his breath hitched and his muscles flexed ready to fulfill Kurt’s needs. He watched him as he crossed the room first to the closet and then to the bathroom beside. Once Blaine was shut inside Kurt stood and made his way to the kitchen, and cleaned himself before slipping on his sweatpants from before. He was searching for the trashcan when Blaine emerged and he asked him where it was. Kurt held up his underwear in explanation, “I don’t really want to put them in my bag to take back to my apartment.”
“I’ll wash them,” Blaine said taking them before Kurt could protest and depositing them in the hamper.
Kurt fixed the pillows against the wall and sat down before holding his hands out to Blaine. He was dressed now in plaid flannel pajama bottoms and nothing else. Kurt smiled at the sight. “Come here.”
Blaine sat between his legs, his back flush against Kurt's chest. Kurt wrapped his arms around him, one hand smoothing over his arm, the other above his heart where he could feel the pitter-patter rhythm of it beneath his hand. They sat in silence for a while just taking in this new closeness.
“We need to talk,” Kurt reminded him finally. He could feel Blaine stiffen for a moment so he kissed the back of his neck hoping to ease him. It worked, a little anyways. “Can you tell me what happened today? I’m not complaining I just want to understand.”
Blaine shifted in his arms, not moving away but as if he suddenly couldn’t keep still. “I- god - I fought against this for so long-”
“Why?” Kurt asked keeping his voice even though he could feel the prickles of doubt and worry over his skin.
“I just, I like you and I like spending time with you. It’s just that taking this step- letting myself want you- want to submit to you. It’s kinda huge. I haven’t for a long time. I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to again.” Blaine admitted.
Kurt hugged him and kissed his neck again. He had so many questions but wasn’t sure what to ask first. Finally he settled with, “What changed?”
“Seeing you today, while you were fighting, your whole body just screamed dominance. And I know that it was choreographed and you were playing a role, but it wasn’t the fight, it was the way you held yourself, the way you had such control of every cell of your body even when you appeared out of control. I could see you were watching your partner, always aware of him and you could have stopped at a moment’s notice if either of you were in trouble. I saw you and- I thought you were worth the risk- because I didn’t think you would hurt me.”
Kurt’s heart clenched hearing Blaine’s words, both because someone had clearly hurt him, and because he already trusted Kurt so much. He never wanted Blaine to feel like that trust was misplaced. “Has- has someone hurt you before?” He asked quietly, careful to keep any command out of his voice, he only wanted Blaine to answer if he was ready.
“A long time ago, but I don’t date much, I don’t do this ever- not since-” Blaine managed to say tension radiating from his body.
“It’s okay you don’t have to tell me, not until you are ready,” Kurt told him and could feel him relax once more.
“Can I ask you something?” Blaine asked timidly.
“Always,” Kurt assured him.
Blaine took a deep breath which made Kurt’s anxiety rise. “Why couldn’t we go to your apartment? Are you-” He trailed off.
“It has nothing to do with you sweetheart.” Kurt told him wrapping his arms tighter around him. “It’s my roommate, Rachel-- she dated my brother, my step brother, off and on throughout high school. When she moved here they tried to make it work, but long distance is hard. He stayed back home in Ohio-”
“You never told me you were from Ohio.” Blaine interrupted. “I am too.”
Kurt laughed in spite of himself, “Lima, Ohio born and raised. You?”
“Westerville. Wow, small world.”
“It is.” Kurt told him kissing his neck once more. “Anyways, when they broke up we all thought that was the end of it. But on Valentine’s of our freshman year we went back for our choir teacher’s wedding. They ended up sleeping together and afterwards Finn- he just knew they were soulmates, he told her so, but she didn’t believe him. He took off his ring and showed his mark to her and there it was- her name.”
“So you live with them still?” Blaine asked.
Kurt could feel the prickle of tears in his eyes, “No Blaine, I don’t.”
“But why?” Blaine said turning around and facing Kurt. His face was full of fear and disbelief. “If they are soul mates if they know it why aren’t they together?”
“We were trying to work it out, how to get him here. Finn was trying to transfer, but he had to wait until the end of the semester. Plus, he also had a platonic connection with Puck to take care of. See Finn had a duel mark, yellow and blue. One platonic, one submissive. Puck was trying to decide what he wanted to do. I was looking for an apartment for myself so Rachel and Finn could share the loft. We were trying to work all the details out only-” Kurt had to take a deep breath. “Only before we could- Finn was killed.”
“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine said his hand coming up to cup Kurt’s cheek.
“It’s been almost three years but Rachel, she still has a hard time. I haven’t even told her about you- not because I don’t want to- but I know that it will be hard for her.”
Dawning seemed to come to Blaine’s eyes, “Wait, Rachel- Rachel Berry is your roommate?”
“One and the same,” Kurt told him, “I’m not surprised you have heard of her; NYADA and its gossip. A nineteen year old with a white mark is sure to garner attention. I don’t hear most of what they have to say because most people know we live together.”
“It’s so sad,” Blaine said snuggling back into Kurt’s embrace. They were silent for a while before Blaine asked. “Was your mom or your step mom your dad’s soulmate?”
Kurt was surprised by the question whispered so low he could barely hear it. “Both.”
“Really?” Blaine asked clearly in disbelief though he didn’t move, “How does that happen?”
Kurt chuckled remembering his father’s shock when his mark started to burn and change. “After my mom died, his mark turned white like everyone else who loses their soulmate but when I was fifteen he was marked again. I remember we were cooking supper when he started complaining about his finger burning. At first I thought maybe he was giving me a hard time because it was getting close to when I could get mine. We thought at first that maybe it was an allergic reaction to the spices, but when we realized the burning was only around his mark, we knew. My dad started panicking because he didn’t have a ring anymore. It had been almost twenty years since he connected with my mom, even if he had kept his old ring it wouldn’t have fit anymore. He sent me out to buy him one and when I came back he was at the table staring at his finger, a new mark there red, but ringed in white. I thought he was just scared to move on, to think there was someone else out there for him, but apparently it was not only that, but- he was a sub before. Losing someone, it changes us, soulmate or not. Some are lucky like my dad and my stepmom, Carole, and can move on to find someone else. Some are not. I don’t know what will happen to Puck or Rachel. I guess only time will tell.”
They stayed there, Kurt wrapped around Blaine until the sun began to fade in the sky. “I should probably go.” Kurt whispered into the quiet, not really wanting to leave.
“But what if I don’t want you to go?” Blaine asked his voice small.
In the end it was decided that Kurt would go home and clean up before they met at eight for a late dinner. Kurt had some things to do in the meantime. “If you still want me to stay after,” Kurt told him, “I will.”
“I will,” Blaine said.
“Then I will pack a bag just in case.” Kurt told him kissing him goodbye.
Burt sat at the kitchen table his hands shaking. He was glad he had sent Kurt away, he didn’t think he could handle this if his son was watching. He didn't think he would ever be marked again, Elizabeth was it for him. It seemed however, that fate had other ideas. The bright red of his mark, was less of a surprise, after losing her he knew he wouldn’t be able to submit to anyone else. No one else could have the firm yet gentle way she did to guide him and allow him to let go so completely. He vowed though to use her example of loving guidance with whoever fate chose for him next.