Kurt could hear the pulsing beat of the music as he stood eagerly in line waiting to get in. Mercedes had texted him moments before telling him she was already inside waiting for him at the bar and he was glad she wouldn’t have to wait too long for him. He had put off this adventure for months, his nerves winning out over the urge to see if it was worth it. Only Mercedes’ pleas of just needing to see if something, or someone else may be out there had won him over. Now that the decision was made though, he couldn’t wait to get in. The line was longer than he anticipated so he stood bouncing on the balls of his feet just needing to move.

Finally when he was the next in line, he texted Mercedes to let her know he was almost in. He had barely hit send when the bouncer called, “Next,” and he stepped forward.

“Color?” the man asked indicating to the six stacks of wristbands in front of him as he checked Kurt’s ID. Red, blue, yellow, purple, black and white arranged neatly on the stand.

“Red,” Kurt told him feeling his face flush at the admission; too long being told by society that this was private information you didn’t share with just anyone.

Nonplussed, the bouncer then asked, “Men, women or both?”

“Men,” Kurt said, slightly marveling at the even tone of the man's voice. He had to remind himself he was in New York, things were largely different here.

The bouncer stamped his arm band, bold letters spelling out ‘MEN’ in black on the red paper. “There you go,” he said fixing it tightly around his wrist. “Keep that on, no arm band and you are out of there, got it?” Kurt nodded and the bouncer moved aside. “Welcome to Mingle.”

Stepping inside Kurt was assaulted by music. The lights flashed across the otherwise dark dance floor as bodies moved and pulsated in the streaks of light. Across the way a long bar was illuminated, surrounded by a crowd of people. He worried he wouldn’t be able to find his friend in the mass but a moment after the thought entered his mind the crowd parted slightly and he spied Mercedes leaning against the bar scanning the crowd between them.

Kurt hurried across the space and greeted her with a kiss on the check. He was surprised that he could hear her, but it seemed that the placement of the speakers was purposely done to allow conversations to happen, at least on this side of the large space. He ordered a Sea Breeze and once it was in hand he let himself take in the club once more.  Around them, clusters of people with bright armbands stood talking, some clearly flirting, others just passing the time.

“You really ready for this?” He asked Mercedes. She was dressed to the nines, her red dress complimenting her dark skin.

She nodded before speaking, “I told you, if Sam and I were on the same page, waiting for me wouldn’t be so hard for him. I need to move on.”

“And you still never checked?” Kurt asked even though he knew the answer.

“No,” she told him bluntly, “If he were my soul mate…” but she didn’t continue.

Now that he was here, Kurt wasn’t sure what to do.  Watching the couples (and a few trios) grinding on the dance floor, he couldn’t help but feel this might have been a bad idea. This didn’t seem to be the place to find your soulmate.  But maybe you can find something, a voice purred within him.

As Kurt tried to decide which part of himself to listen to, he ordered another drink.

“I have had enough liquid courage,” Mercedes laughed, “I’m going to see if I can find me a man.”

Kurt watched her go and then began scanning the crowd once more. He nursed his second drink as he let his eyes rove, checking the wrist of each man that caught his eye, internally cheering when he saw a strip of blue on their wrist. He had already seen a handful of guys he was thinking about approaching when his eyes fell on a slightly familiar face.

Kurt took his time looking at him trying to figure out where he had seen him before.  He was on the shorter side. Red pants clung to his legs and Kurt followed the line of them up to his trim waist.  Even though his black shirt was tight, it didn’t reveal much beyond the broadness of his shoulders and the way the sleeves seemed taut over his biceps.  Under his shirt collar a red and black striped bow tie was nestled, making Kurt smile.  His black hair was slicked back, reminding Kurt of movie stars of old.  He took in his face once more, and it hit him all at once just where he had seen him.  Kurt didn’t know how he hadn’t recognized him before, but supposed the hair and clothes did make a difference.

The man was Blaine Anderson.  Kurt had been trying to work up the nerve to ask him out for weeks, months even, ever since the day he had first seen him while helping out in Miss July’s class last semester.  Kurt remembered what had been holding him back and tried to look at his wrist.  He wanted to scream in frustration when Blaine’s drink blocked his left wrist, although he could see the gold band still residing on his ring finger.  That sight gave Kurt hope.  He watched as Blaine talked to the two men with him, both wearing blue bands Kurt noticed.  Then he turned and Kurt could finally see it.  A blue band rested snugly against Blaine's wrist as well. That voice from earlier purred once more.

Kurt sat his drink down on the bar and tugged at his vest, wanting to make sure he was as put together as possible. He was going to do it, finally he would talk to Blaine Anderson. With purpose he walked towards the men, intent only on the shortest of the three. However, before even half the distance was gone someone grabbed his arm in a vice grip.  He turned in shock only to see Mercedes standing there, tears in her eyes.

“‘Cedes?” He asked, worried about his friend.

“I can’t- I can’t do this. Please can you take me back to my hotel.” She said and Kurt could see she was barely keeping it together.

With one wistful glance back at Blaine, Kurt nodded and then took Mercedes by the hand and led her out of the club. He tried not to let her see his disappointment.

They walked in silence, Mercedes clinging to Kurt’s arm, until the club and the thumping of the bass was fading into the distance.  When he felt Mercedes begin to relax, he slowed their pace and asked, “You want to talk about it?”

She was quiet for a moment and Kurt was sure she was going to stay silent on the subject. “I- god it’s so embarrassing.  I thought I could do it, that I could go in there like the Dom I’m supposed to be.  When I first got there I felt like I could take on the world.  I was taking charge of my life again.  I am making the choices.  But out there on the dance floor it was so different,  I mean I am the one who is supposed to set the rules, right?”

Kurt shrugged his shoulder, “Eventually. But Cedes you know that for most people their designation doesn’t usually extend beyond the bedroom.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know what goes on in the bedroom and I don’t think I am ready to find out.” She said. “Things were okay in there for a while, I mean a girl likes the attention, and they were giving it to me. It didn’t take much to make them give me some space; just an eyebrow raised was all it took but then- there was this one guy- we were just dancing and he just- he just fell on his knees in front of me- I’m just not ready for that.”

Kurt understood now.  While Mercedes could walk into a room like she owned it, and make you believe it; there was one surefire way to make her uncomfortable.  The thought of sex, and especially of dominating someone was something Mercedes was not ready for.  She wanted to wait for the ring to be gone, for her mark to turn black; to have found her soulmate and connect with them, before taking that step.

“What did you think the club was going to be?” he had to ask.

She laughed mirthlessly, “The reviews said it was a great place to meet people, they said it was classy. The wristbands are nice, takes the pretense out of a lot of it. They are strict about hooking up while inside- I just thought it would be safe.”

“Really all that means is that they don’t sell condoms and if they catch you with your stuff out then you are out of there.” Kurt smiled sadly at her.

“Now you tell me.” she said punching him in the arm.

As they made their way down to the subway Kurt said, “Can I ask you something?” Once Mercedes nodded he went on, “Why won’t you find out if Sam is your soulmate?” Kurt had never understood her hesitance and she would never tell him.  He hoped this time would be different.

Mercedes sighed. “I just think that if he were, then the waiting wouldn’t be so hard for him. I mean your soul mate is supposed to be the person who complements you. They were made for you. Out of everyone on the planet, God chose them for you. The colors, they just show who you are, but what’s hidden by the symbol, that is supposed to be who you are for. Won’t my soulmate want to wait too?”

“Mercedes, a fashionista like yourself should know better than to think that a complement means the exact same thing.” Kurt reprimanded her playfully. “Yes, our soulmates are supposed to complement us, but that doesn’t guarantee that we’re going to have the same experiences or even faith systems. Look at Rachel and Finn-”

“But that was different-” Mercedes began to protest.

“No it wasn’t.” Kurt said with finality. “Have you ever thought that you are supposed to teach Sam patience?”

Mercedes huffed, “What do you mean?” He could tell he was annoying her, but he thought that maybe he was getting through.

“I mean, what if Sam is your soulmate? What if as you said God chose him for you out of everyone, because he needed someone to teach him a little bit of patience? Maybe there is something he can teach you too? Wouldn’t that be a much better complement for you than someone who you can just go through life with, thinking and believing the exact same thing?”

“But if I take off his ring and I don’t see my name there- I don’t know if I can take that.” Mercedes whispered.

“And if years down the line you finally pluck up the courage to do it, won’t you regret all the time you could have had together knowing that he was yours?” he asked in return.

They were quiet for the rest of the journey.  Kurt knew she wasn’t mad at him so he spent the rest of the train ride thinking about marks, and rings and soulmates.

When they arrived at Mercedes’ hotel, he wondered whether he should continue their previous conversation. He was afraid of pushing her too far but he couldn’t hold his tongue any longer; it had been years coming.

“Are you going to talk to Sam before you leave?” He asked, hoping it was a safe enough question to get her talking.

He could see her annoyance before she answered. “I leave the day after tomorrow. I have recordings scheduled, I can’t just change all that. I have to get the tracks laid before we go on tour next month. If he is- if I knew he was- we can’t just drop everything and I know I would want to. Plus even if he was, I still don’t think I’m ready.  What good could come out of it right now?”

“I am no expert on soulmates- or any of this,” Kurt shrugged. “But I would want to know, if it was me. You love him don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” She said.

“Then why not just love him and not worry about the soulmate thing right now.  Stop pushing him away.  There is a reason we don’t know who our soulmate is before we meet them. I mean it would be a cheat if you could just look for their name before you even knew who they were. You love them first. You meet them and fall in love, and trust them enough to take off those rings and- they say anyway- that you just know that you are going to see your name on their skin. Until you are ready for that- love him.” Kurt felt like he was pressing, or more like he was his father giving one of his big speeches. He almost wanted to throw in something about ‘you matter,’ but he knew Mercedes already knew that part of the lesson, that was part of her problem.

“But it seems so unfair to make him wait for me.” She whispered.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Kurt asked, feeling almost like he was about to betray a confidence. “Sam- he likes waiting. More he likes being told when he can- take care of business. How do you think he and Quinn lasted so long in high school. Just tell him when he can and things will be easier for him.”

Mercedes almost laughed, “How the hell do you know that?”

“Sam lived with me for a year remember. And as much as Finn acted like he hated our lady chats, he and Sam had a lot of them too. I heard them talking, Finn was frustrated because Rachel wasn’t ready yet for sex and Sam told him Quinn had him on a schedule. Said he liked it, it was like long distance dominance.” Kurt shrugged.

Mercedes looked dumbfounded for a moment before she laughed and punched him on the arm. “And why couldn’t you have told me this years ago?”

“You didn’t ask and I didn’t think it was my place. Night Boo. Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?”

“Of course. Night Kurt.”

Mercedes stared down at the mark on her finger unable to believe what it actually showed her. After months of soul searching and late night conversations with her friend Matt Rutherford on the phone, she thought she knew what to expect but the bright red mark around her finger was not it. She knew deep in her being that she was going to have a yellow Mark, a romantic but not sexual match, or a platonic match; she was asexual, wasn't she?  That however, was not what she was looking at. How could she be a Dom, the idea of doing anything more than kissing made her skin crawl. Just the week before Puck had been bragging about his own yellow mark. He however, was aromantic, destined for a platonic match, he couldn’t shut up about being able to sleep with as many women as he wanted for all time, only having a best bro to worry about. How was it that Mercedes envied him, not for the sex but that he could be marked yellow when she obviously couldn’t.

Matt had called her weeks ago in relief, his mark had come in just as they had predicted. She didn't know what to tell him at this unexpected turn of events. All of a sudden she felt like she didn’t know herself.  It seemed like a cruel twist of fate that she could be marked to command someone to please her sexually when she felt no desire at all.

When she called Matt later, he pointed out she may be demisexual. She wasn’t sure if the term fit but couldn't deny the possibility. She just hoped when the time was right she would feel something other than repulsion at the thought of sex.