I am capable of really anything,

I can cut you into pieces,

When my heart is broken.

Please, dont leave me.

I always say how I dont need you,

But its always gonna come right back to this.

There was yelling. There were so many sirens. Or maybe it was just one. The noise jangled around in Blaines head; a constant and insistent beeping that didnt want to stop, the whir of a siren, someone was crying and he wanted so badly to tell them to shut the fuck up. The bed (table?) he was laying on jolted slightly and he barely held back a pained groan.

Blaine tried opening his eyes, fighting against the heaviness of his eyelids to no avail. He felt so exhausted except – he was alive. Fuck. He wasnt supposed to be alive. Kurt was supposed to be gone and Christian was supposed to be at school and he was supposed to fucking die. Everything was so dark, so heavy, so empty. But still breathing, and he couldnt decided what was worse.

Blaine never did well with Hospitals. There was one time that his dog, Harley, was hit by a car and he didnt know what to do. His father was gone again on one of his weird business trips, Cooper was out with some girl that he always sat really close to when she came over. And it had been just Blaine and the German Sheppard.

He threw the ball too hard, too far, and Harley jumped the fence and chased it into the middle of the road, in the path of an eighteen wheeler.

A ten year old doesnt know what to do when their animal gets hurt. Hed dialled 911, because thats what Daddy said to do if anyone got in trouble or was bleeding.

The paramedic was sympathetic as he got out of the ambulance and called the right number for him. Asked where Blaines parents were. And he remembered the slight way the mans eyes narrowed when Blaine said nobody else was home.

There was another time that he slipped on the ice while running up the steps after school and whacked his nose off the door. Cooper drove Blaine there himself.

Everything seemed so bland, so blank. White halls that stretched on for what looked like forever with walls to match. His bleeding nose dripped onto the bleached linoleum, staining the empty picture with splashes of vibrant colour.

The nurse had been kind; a sweet smile and scrubs splattered with pretty flowers as she lifted him up onto the examination table and asked him what happened. There was really no reason to fear the seemingly empty building except for exactly that. It was empty.

~oOo~

The wheels of the stretcher seemed to squeak more and more frequently the further they got down the hallway. There was so much shouting, most of which Christian didnt understand. A tall man probably around his height was struggling against the nurses grip. He was crying out Blaines name, arms thrashing, and eyes wild as he sobbed after them. Hed caught a glimpse of Rachel with him, hand covering her mouth as her eyes poured seemingly endless tears.

And there was still so much blood. The gauze wrapped haphazardly around Blaines wrists was already soaked through and dripping to the tile as if mocking them all, mocking that they were probably too late. That every drop that fell was another second that they were useless. He was still crying. He didnt know how long hed been, only that when it started, it hadnt stopped. The stretchers wheels scraped across the floor as it spun into an unoccupied room.

Sir?" A nurse – her tag said Linda – was looking up at him almost expectantly, clipboard clutched in her little hands, emerald eyes open and understanding. "Are you family?"

"Im all he has. He has no family." The words seemed to grind through his lungs and catch in his throat, suffocating him. Lindas gaze softened substantially as she cast a glance over her shoulder.

"Come on, honey. Why dont we go sit somewhere and you can tell me what happened?" Her fingers touched gently at Christians shoulder, squeezing reassurance into the muscle that, for some reason, put him completely at ease.

Hed cried so much he didnt think he could anymore. Sitting down in the tiny room, just two chairs across from each other as he poured out everything he knew had felt like he was the one dying. The waste basket was more likely than not overflowing with used tissues and Christians eyes felt so dry that blinking was a chore.

He checked on Blaine once more, nudging the door open slightly and watching the single doctor still in the room tap at the machines a few times, and scribble something down on the clipboard that sat at the foot of Blaines bed before disappearing into a joining room. He was stable. For now.

Christians feet felt like lead as he all but dragged himself down the never-ending hallway towards the waiting room. He was allowed to sit in with Blaine but the idea of being at his side and forced to cry even more tears was unbearable.

"Rachel?" She looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, makeup that she hadnt bothered to fix running with it. Her eyes seemed to catch something as she reached for his hands automatically, fingers clutching his like a lifeline.

"What happened? Is he going to be alright?"

"Hes okay. Hes uh... Well, hes stable. For now." He gripped her hands, giving her a small smile before his gaze settled on the man watching him from over her shoulder. "You. Youre the one who did this to him."

"Christian." God, he made his name sound so bitter, as if saying it ruined his entire day. It probably did. "How fucking dare you." The words were like venom, lashing at Christian and it ached. Christian stumbled out of the cheap chair, forefinger and thumb pressing at the bridge of his nose as his eyebrows drew together, eyes sliding shut.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" Somewhere, he knew that Blaine would hate him to be fighting on his behalf. Hed hate that Christian was trying to fix even more things. But not even that could deter him.

"What the hell am I doing here? Im trying to make sure Blaine is okay. At least I try, which is more than I can say for you. Where are you when hes out high off his ass and dancing at some strip club? Huh?" The other man (Kurt? That was what Blaine said his name was, wasnt it?) slid out of his chair, chest almost brushing Christians as he nearly visibly blazed before him.

Christian raised an eyebrow before letting out a high, broken laugh. "Where am I? Im right here trying to make sure that hes okay because I know that I cant control another fucking persons actions if they dont want to be helped. You obviously didnt get the memo that he didnt need you around." He knew he was pushing it. Pissing off the already livid man probably wasnt helping his case at all. Except Christian was too upset to care. He was always the nice guy, always the one to look after other people and try his damn hardest to make them feel safe and cared for and having Kurt get in his face about it was pushing buttons. He heard Rachel screech something about it not being the time for whatever it was they were doing but that didnt matter. They had some things that needed sorting and a good scuff was the only thing that would solve that.

"Blaine became your responsibility when you decided to move in with him. You watched him become what he is, you watched him hurt himself, and you didnt do a damn thing about it." There was a finger thrust in his face as Kurt stepped even closer.

"He was already like that when he showed up! You really think that I would sit around and watch someone do that to themselves?" Christians hands were in the air, palms out and waving slightly because maybe gesturing would make his point more clear. Kurt laughed, a harsh noise accompanied by an eye roll.

"Yes, Christian, Im pretty sure thats exactly what you would do. Because while I was taking away everything he was using to hurt himself, you were at school and your supposed roommate slit both of his wrists and lay dying on the bathroom floor." Christian remembered his father talking to him about all the times hed gotten in trouble during high school; about the way hed beaten up so many people for being assholes and about how there was just something about it that took his sense of mind away from him. The term was seeing red, except thats exactly what it was. His vision flashed a cruel colour, very similar to the blood that had been pooling across the bathroom floor. And he swung.

The noise Kurts nose made when his fist connected was a sickening crunch as he jolted back in a very cartoon fashion, head smacking against the dirtied tile with a crack! while Rachel screamed. There was blood dripping (spraying would have been a better term) from Kurts face as he dabbed the back of his hand over his nose, glaring up at Christian. The nurse behind the receptionist desk seemed to appear out of nowhere, hands out to pull Kurt up to his feet.

"Fuck. Im sorry, Im sorry." Christian cradled his hand as he whispered to the floor, eyes somehow wet once more.

Kurt brushed past him, knocking their shoulders together. "I hope that made you feel better," he hissed before following the nurse.

*oOo*

"Blaine, holy shit, what the fuck did you do to your fucking face?" Leave it to Cooper to swear as much as possible in once sentence. Blaine touched at his nose, fingers coming away tinged with red as he heaved a sigh.

"Nothing. Its fine. Nosebleed." He waved off his brother, beginning his trek up the stairs as his bag swung on one shoulder.

"Youre lying. What happened?" Cooper was chasing him, thumping in that familiar way that Blaine had been without for the past few months. Everything had gotten so much harder when his brother moved out. His first year of high school wasnt going too bad, until the dick head in his Math class thought it would be a great idea to throw wads of paper at the back of his head to try and get answers out of him. Naturally, Blaine had tried to ignore him and brush him off, except eventually the idiot got sick of being pushed aside.

"Blaine." Cooper grabbed his bicep, fingers digging in slightly as he spun Blaine in the hallway outside his door to look at him. "Tell me who I need to fuck up."

"Arent you on television now? Shouldnt you be toning down the swearing? Go rinse your mouth with soap, you might get something out of it. Like the ability to talk like a normal functioning human being." He tried to pull away again, hand reaching for the doorknob to his bedroom.

"Squirt, dont be a dick. I know I moved out but just because Im working doesnt mean I dont care about you. Why do you think I came back? Because I definitely didnt come here for Dad." Coopers face was soft when Blaine looked up at him, his fingers tightening in the strap of his bag.

"You left me here with him. Alone. Hows that supposed to make me feel?" Blaine yanked his arm out of his brothers grip, shouldering open the door and tossing his school bag onto the floor beside his bed.

"Blaine, you know I had to go. I have to make a life for myself; I cant just stay behind with you because you need me to look after you all the time."

"I dont need you all the time, Cooper! I need you sometimes, because thats what older brothers are for! Youre supposed to be here to help me when I need you to because God knows Dad wont do anything. The least you could do is get me a cell phone so that I can talk to you!" He threw his hands up, waving them around his head as his eyes welled up with tears. "I know that you cant be here. I know that. But you could try to make sure that Im okay. Because Im not." Blaine slumped down onto the edge of his bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes as he let out a pitiful sob.

"Oh, Blainey. Im so sorry." Coopers arms circled his shoulders as he sat beside Blaine, tugging the younger boys head against his chest and petting a hand through the hair all but plastered to his skull.

"The people at school are assholes. I hate them all so much." Blaine wrapped his arms around his brothers waist, squeezing his eyes shut against Coopers throat.

"What did they do? What are they doing?"

"They beat me up, Coop. Today, one of the guys in my class cornered me at lunch and hit me until I gave him the money Dad left me for lunch. I had fifty dollars. It was supposed to last all week and he took it. I cant tell Dad because then hell beat me up, too. I hate this so much. I hate being alive." Cooper stiffened beside him, arms tightening slightly before he shifted away enough to look at his brother.

"Ill give you a hundred. That way you have your money for this week and you can save the other fifty for when this happens again. If it werent illegal Id beat the shit out of them for you, Kiddo." His thumb brushed gently over the crest of Blaines cheek, swiping at the wetness there. "We can go looking for cell phones tomorrow if thats something you really want."

"Yes, please. Thank you, Coop."

There was something about his weird, blood loss induced sleep. He shouldnt have been able to hear anything; he shouldnt have been able to feel. Except there were no other explanations for the gentle fingertips brushing over his wrist and clutching his hand, the wet, warm tears dripping onto his forearm.

"Im so sorry, Blaine. I shouldve listened to you. I shouldve stayed with you so long ago. Im so sorry." It was a high voice, and one he couldnt put a face to, which was stupid because he felt like it was the voice of someone hed known his whole life. It could have been a girl; it could have been his mother. Did she finally come back for him? Why couldnt she have returned when he could talk, when he could move and tear a strip out of her for fucking walking away from him? Everything was so fucking cruelly unfair.

And she was sobbing, high choking noises as cool, long fingers pressed into his. And then the hands were gone and the sheet was being pulled away and there was a weight beside him, the body of his visitor slowly easing down onto the bed beside him. There was the touch of what felt like a cheek on his chest and – no, it definitely wasnt his mother. Hair he knew was elegantly curved upward brushed his throat and the bottom of his chin and the overwhelming scent of mangoes and coconut clogged his nose.

"I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me. I cannot be without, youre my perfect little punching bag. And I need you, Im sorry. Baby, please dont leave me. Please dont leave me." And it was sung so softly, so brokenly against Blaines chest and he wished more than anything that he could just sit up. That he could wrap Kurt up into his arms and kiss into his hair and promise that everything would be okay, even if he knew it wouldnt. It was worth seeing the smile on his face. He could feel the tears soaking through the hospital gown and it just made everything ache more.

Until it didnt.