Kurt was feeling better after his little drive-by serenade. It was a walk-by actually, and it reminded him a little bit of John Cusack’s role in Say Anything where Lloyd held up the boom box. He had always found that scene to be terribly romantic, except that it involved a girl and would have been so much better if it had been a boy. He had wanted to do the same thing for Blaine but would never have attempted to do it at Blaine’s house. He thought it went pretty well… for someone who was drunk and high.

He hadn’t thrown up and was able to walk in what he perceived to be a straight line, so that was something. Blaine didn’t completely reject him, another plus. Kurt was still annoyed at Puck for talking him into getting trashed, but at the same time he wanted to thank Puck for getting his mind off things. It was an interesting evening, but it was time to go home. He just wanted a good night’s sleep and a fresh start in the morning.

Kurt was also dreading the talk with his father. He had a feeling it was going to be “The Talk,” like when his father tried to talk to him about sex. It was sure to be uncomfortable at the very least and torture at worst. He knew he was in big trouble and worried what the punishment was going to involve. When Blaine brought up the possibility of Kurt’s dad throwing him out of the house, it truly scared him.

Kurt had never trashed his room or threw public temper tantrums before. Nor had he ever made a fool of himself in a public setting or gotten intentionally drunk and turned up in an online video. None of this was good behavior for a congressman’s son to be exhibiting, and thinking about it made Kurt feel very ashamed of himself. However, he needed to talk to Burt about Blaine, and it couldn’t be delayed. He would need to deal with his dad’s anger like a man and try to reason with him to not be too severe if for no other reason than to protect his boyfriend.

As it was the middle of the night and there were no cars on the road, the four men walked down the middle of the street talking about nothing in particular. Puck had this bright idea to go around and collect the entire street’s water hoses out of their front yards and screw them end on end all the way down the middle of the road as a joke, but the rest of the boys talk him out of it. It seemed like too much work.

Kurt walked up to Puck and put his arm through his friend’s arm to test the water. It wasn’t that he wanted to sleep with Puck or anything. He just wanted to see how Puck would respond. Either Puck was over that whole homophobia bullshit, completely blitzed, or maybe he was just comfortable with Kurt, because he didn’t pull away from Kurt’s friendly affections.

“Hey No-ah, I have a question for you,” Kurt asked.

“Shoot,” Puck said dreamily. He was still buzzing from the beer and pot brownies they had back at the park.

“Okay, so this is something Will said way back in first year of Glee club, and I know you do the pool cleaning stuff, right?” Kurt inquired coyly. He put his hands behind his back and wiggled his body side to side.

“Well, yeah. Do you want a job cleaning pools this summer? Cause I could totally use an assistant!” said Puck excitedly. “You can do the books and advertising and stuff. We would make a killing!”

“As fun as that would be working outside with my borderline albino skin, I think I’ll pass,” Kurt said, using his normal voice, smiling all the while. “No, something has flummoxed me for years. Back in our first boys versus girls competition, Will said something about lightning being in competition with above ground swimming pools. What in the hell was he talking about?” He had tried to ask his teacher after glee class, but Will pretty much ignored him, saying that it was only a teaching aid. He had even tried to research the question on the internet with no results.

“Oh my god, I totally forgot about that!” Finn exclaimed. “Yeah, Puck, why is lightning in competition with an above ground swimming pool?”

“What the hell is flummoxed? It sounds like a sex act!” Puck asked a scandalized Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes and pushed Puck away. Puck shrugged and added, “Damned if I know! I personally think Schue was high that day. Maybe he was taking Terri’s Vitamin D, which is totally another word for crystal meth, you know.”

Kurt’s eyes widened and he squeaked, “Will’s ex-wife gave us meth?!” He sat on the curb and started to hyperventilate. Puck looked at him, feeling bad for teasing him. “Oh, god! I’ve taken hard drugs! Next thing you know, I’ll be selling my body on the street for drug money! I’m tainted!” Sadly, or maybe thankfully, Kurt wasn’t very educated in illicit drugs, but judging by his reaction he was completely clueless. “Why wasn’t Terri arrested?” He looked up at a laughing Puck and realized the mohawked man was pulling his leg. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

“You make it way too easy, Kurt,” Puck retorted. Kurt put his face in his hands, embarrassed that he freaked out without looking at every possible option. “Way to jump to the worst conclusion. Besides, that was like three years ago, so I doubt it would affect you now, anyway. It wasn’t meth, it was just non-drowsy cold medicine.”

Kurt slowly looked up at Puck, anger flashing in his eyes. Puck ignored him and continued, “Incidentally, it’s an ingredient in crystal meth. Don’t ask me how I know that.” Puck was a bad boy, but he wasn’t involved in anything so illegal. He was wise to the process from time spent in juvie. His cell mate described it in great detail.

Kurt jumped up and got in Puck’s face. “God, Puckerman, you’re a giant asshole!” he exclaimed. “Don’t scare me like that!” He stepped away and took a couple deep breaths to calm himself down. “So you don’t know the lightning/pool connection, then?”

“’Fraid not, little buddy,” Puck said, shrugging. He was impressed that Kurt had actually stood up to him. This was a much different person than the scared boy of three years ago.

Kurt changed gears, gave a large sigh and said dramatically, “Alas! I guess I’ll have to ponder that imponderable for a while longer. It’ll remain one of life’s greatest mysteries, like ‘Why is a raven like a writing desk?’” Puck looked at Kurt with bewilderment, so he just sighed and said, “Thanks anyhow, Noah.”

Kurt started walking down the middle yellow line on the road. His walking was much steadier, and he felt his head clearing a bit. He didn’t like the loss of control that being intoxicated involved. Reflecting on the last week, he realized that things had changed and they would probably never go back to the way they were before. He just hoped that Blaine didn’t totally hate him.

He was about to get lost in his murky thoughts when his phone vibrated. Hoping it was from Blaine, he pulled out his phone and let out a disappointed sigh when he saw that it was Santana. He wasn’t disappointed that Santana texted him, just that it wasn’t Blaine. His disappointment was replaced with worry at her message.

Hey Sexy, are you home? I really need someone to talk to.

Kurt’s love/hate relationship with Santana had spanned all three years of their time spent in Glee club together. Santana’s repeated attempts to out him and his initial attempts to ignore it led to Santana telling Coach Sylvester that Kurt was definitely gay. When the Glee club was briefly split up by Coach Sylvester in his sophomore year, the coach had innocently called him over to her newly forming group as Gay Kid. Although he had already outed himself to Mercedes and his dad, having him walk over to Coach Sylvester’s group merely confirmed what everybody else already knew. Surprisingly enough, no seemed to care or notice.

Santana continued to jab Kurt over the rest of the year with remarks, but since they lost their impact, the sting was no longer as fierce. By junior year, Santana actually went out of her way to defend Kurt and manipulate his bully Dave to bring Kurt back into the choir room and McKinley. By the middle of senior year a complete truce had been called and the two were now on friendly speaking terms. He still had reservations about Santana, but he was willing to be open minded.  

Kurt sent off a quick response:

On my way home now. Out with the boys. Forced guys’ night out. Meet me at my house.

“Hey guys?” Kurt called. “Do you mind if Santana comes over for a bit? I know you wanted to do the male bonding thing, but she wants to talk. I don’t think she’s very happy.”

“That’s cool,” Puck said with concern for his ex-girlfriend. “She can have a couple beers with us.”

Finn looked at his phone. Giving a small relieved cheer, he looked at Kurt and said, “Mom just texted. I guess she had a bit too much wine at Schue’s, so she’s going to stay the night there. So I guess it’s just us tonight.” He was relieved, because having to explain Kurt’s present state was something he didn’t want to do.

“House party!” Puck cried and gave Sam a high-five.

“Don’t you dare!” Kurt yelled as he spun on the other three men. “I’m going to get into enough trouble for doing what I did these past few days. A trashed house is not going to be added to the long line of punishments, thank you very much.”

“You made a good start with your room, dude,” Finn teased.

“Screw you, Hudson!” Kurt snapped as he stomped away. The other boys just laughed and followed their friend.

Puck ran up to Kurt as he was storming away and called, “Wait up, Hummel! I want to talk to you.”

“Leave it to you to ruin a dramatic exit, Noah. What can I do for you?” Kurt said with a snotty tone, crossing his arms. He was feeling extremely irritated all of a sudden. 

“Ah, I see the drama queen has emerged from your badassery,” quipped Puck. Kurt just gave him a dirty look. However, without the makeup, it wasn’t nearly as scary. “Kurt, seriously, I just want to make sure you’re okay. A lot of messed up shit has happened the last few days. It probably didn’t help that I got you wasted.”

“I’ll live,” Kurt said simply. There was no anger or sadness in the statement, just simple fact.  “I could have said no, so it’s not your fault.”

“Well, I’m not sure if I’ve said it yet, because I’m drunk most of the time and can barely remember my own name, but I wanted to say I’m sorry for all the crap I put you through at school,” Puck said as he put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “That’s not who I am anymore.”

“Noah, I forgave you long ago,” Kurt said, touched that Puck was humble enough to apologize again. “Blaine told me about what you did that night I went missing. That means a lot to me,” he added sincerely.

Puck smiled and said, “Like I said to him, and like I’m about to say to you, we’re family, man. Just consider me the really annoying and much better looking older brother.”

“Whatever! I may be a hot mess right now, but I’m totally hotter than you!” Kurt exclaimed and put his palm up to Puck’s face. All joking aside, he added seriously, “Anyhow, you were right back then when you called me a loser. Look at me… I’m stuck in Lima and I failed at everything I did this year. I’m lucky anyone even wants to talk to me after the way I treated them in the past few days. Hell, even Blaine hates me, and I didn’t think that would ever happen.”

Puck stopped walking and put his hand on Kurt’s chest, stopping him and almost knocking him over because Kurt was still a bit tipsy and his balance was off. Kurt grabbed Puck’s arms to keep from falling over and yelled, “Watch it!”

“Jeez, sorry, dude,” Puck apologized. “First, Blaine doesn’t hate you. But you’re too stupid right now to see it. And B, I don’t want you talking about yourself like that ever again. If I find out you did, I’ll beat your ass.”

“Noah Puckerman, you’re flirting again,” Kurt teased and raised an eyebrow. “But I’m still not sure about Blaine, so who needs him if I have you!”

Puck wisely chose to ignore Kurt’s last comment, thinking it was drug talk and not Kurt. Instead, he decided to explain himself to Kurt, although he really wondered how much of this Kurt would remember in the morning. “No, I’m damn serious! I spent most of my senior year hating myself for the way I acted, and I wasted so much time! I didn’t believe in myself, and I almost failed out and became like my dad,” he explained. “Do you know who showed me that I could do it? Coach Bieste… and you guys. You guys made me see that I wasn’t a Lima Loser, and I’m going to tell you the same right now. Yeah, things suck way more than you can deal with right now, but they’ll get better. You’ll sit down with Blaine and your family, and you’ll figure things out. In the meantime, you work at the school with Schue. I would kill to do something like that if I had to stay in this damn town.”

“Wow,” he thought, “Talking about my problems with Kurt really felt good. Letting it all out is really liberating. Did I just use the word liberating? I even know what it means. This talking stuff is great!”

“Yeah, but…” Kurt tried to interrupt. He wanted to explain to Puck all of the things he failed at in the last year, in the last three years even. “It feels like I’m never going to catch a break. How is that suddenly going to change?” he thought unhappily.

Puck felt some renewed faith in himself. He suddenly felt worthy enough to pass on words of wisdom to Kurt, but then again, it could have been a combination of pot and liquid courage still coursing through Puck’s veins. Really, who cared? Puck put his hands on Kurt’s arms and advised him in a voice that would make any wise sage proud, “Coach Bieste said something else to me, something that I’m going to say to you. Kurt, you are loved, and you aren’t alone. You have all of us. All alone, we can only take so much before we break. With many, we’re much stronger and we can take so much more. I know this is all deep shit and frankly, it’s making my head hurt, but there you go.”

“Noah, if you came to me four years ago and said we would be friends, I would have laughed in your face,” Kurt said seriously. Suddenly, a large smile spread across his face. “I’m now happy to eat my words. I keep looking elsewhere for what I’m missing. NYADA. New York. What I need to learn is that it’s all right here, in Lima. At least for now.”

“You know what, Kurt? Lima isn’t as bad as we make it out to be,” said Puck, putting his arm around Kurt’s shoulder and continued walking. “Stick with me, kid, and you may not even want to go to New York.”

“I somehow doubt that,” Kurt said sarcastically. “It’s not like the assholes are going to change overnight. No, the only way I can fit in this stupid cow town is if I crawl back into the closet, and that’s not going to happen.”

“I won’t let it happen, Hummel! I’m the biggest badass in this town, and you seem to be running for second place in the badass pageant. If anyone gives you grief, they have to deal with the Puckster!” Puck said as he hit his chest.

“Thanks, Noah, I’ll take that into consideration,” Kurt chuckled. He appreciated that his friend was trying to help, but the only cure for the depression he was rapidly slipping into was self-exile from Lima. Maybe he could talk Blaine into leaving with him, after all.

They were almost at the Hudson-Hummel house when they saw someone sitting on the front steps. It was Santana, and she was crying. Kurt started walking faster because it appeared that his friend was really upset about something. “Santana!” he called. She looked up and there were tears streaming down her face.

She stood, rushed to Kurt, gave him a hug and said, “I’m so glad you’re here, Kurt. I really need to talk to someone. I’m not sure what to do, and I can’t talk to Brit. She’s just not getting it.”

“Of course Tana. Let’s go out back,” Kurt said, looking at his friend with concern. Santana was always the epitome of cool, and not much fazed her. The only time he ever saw her anything close to upset was when that pizza guy’s commercial forced her out of the closet. Luckily, she bounced back pretty quickly and owned the situation like the fierce Latina she was. He called to the other men, “Hey guys, I’m going into the backyard to talk to Santana. I’ll be in soon. And NO house party, so don’t even think about it, Finn!”

“Okay, DAD!” Puck said sarcastically. “Make yourself useful and bring in the beer and coolers when you come back in, will ya?”

“Sure, whatever,” Kurt said absently. “Come on, Santana,” he added, guiding his upset friend to the backyard. The porch light was still on, so he led Santana to the rocking chairs. After making sure she was comfortable, he went to the shed and grabbed the two boxes of alcohol. “I’ll just be a second,” he said and let himself in the backdoor to drop off the drinks. After a moment’s thought, he grabbed a cooler for himself and a beer for Santana. He was already buzzed, so another drink would be fine. How bad could he really get?

“Thanks,” sniffed Santana as she accepted the beer bottle. “I could really use this right now. What are you doing drinking, anyway? Didn’t you learn your lesson the other night?” she asked halfheartedly. To be perfectly honest, she loved Kurt a little more laid back, and alcohol did the trick quite nicely.

“It’s been a long, messed up night,” Kurt said as he opened his cooler. “Let’s just say I sampled some of Puck’s famous recipe brownies and I’m currently very happy, or at the very least, oblivious to the shitstorm that’s my life.”

“You didn’t!” Santana exclaimed. Kurt nodded and let out a little giggle. “And Blaine didn’t lay the smackdown?”

“Another long story. Blaine and I broke up tonight. Or almost broke up. I’m still not sure on that one,” Kurt said and shrugged. He wanted to cry as he thought about almost losing Blaine, especially since he was alone with Santana, but he was too damn tired.

“Oh my god! Kurt, are you okay?” Santana said as she put her hand on Kurt’s shoulder. She pulled out her phone and checked Blaine’s Facebook page for a change in relationship status. No change. He was still with Kurt. She showed him her phone and he acknowledged he was still with Blaine at least on Facebook.

“I think I will be,” said Kurt, feeling relief that Blaine hadn’t changed the status, especially after the outside serenade. “He just took some news badly. I have a potential opportunity in New York, and I think it freaked him out a little. So I think we’re still together. I’ll know more tomorrow because Blaine and I are going to talk about it. I was feeling a bit hopeless for awhile, thus the alcohol and brownies. Actually, Puck tricked me into eating those brownies, but whatever. I’m sure I’ll regret it tomorrow, but at the moment I don’t give a shit.” He put his bottle up to Santana’s in a toast. “To drinking oneself into oblivion.”

“Preach,” said Santana and tapped her bottle to his in agreement. “Thanks for allowing me into your party. Puck said you were going to be doing a guys’ night, so I feel like a party crasher.”

“Oh, stop it!” Kurt admonished and gave a playful smack to Santana’s hand. “So what’s got you so upset?”

“I just don’t know where to go… literally,” Santana said, starting to cry again. “Right now, I have three options. First one is here in Lima while I wait for Brittany to graduate. I can work at the Lima Bean as a barista or something. I think I’d rather sleep with men again than do that.” Kurt was a bit offended at that statement as he had applied to work the Lima Bean for the summer, even though he had the job at his dad’s shop. Funnily enough, he had options in Lima, but nowhere else. It was neither here nor there so he forgave Santana her directness.

She continued, “Then I have that scholarship in Louisville. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great opportunity, and I should take it. But I don’t think that’s for me, not without Brittany.” Kurt nodded to show that he was listening. “Then I have New York, but I really don’t want to go without you. I know you’re Rachel’s best friend and everything, and I admit I’ve grown fond of her, but I think I would murder her if I had to live with her and Frankenteen alone. But that’s where my heart is telling me to go.”

“It’s a tough choice. You love cheerleading. My head says, in my not so professional opinion, to go to college. Brittany can join you next year either as a student or as your roommate off campus. Of course, there’s a huge part of me that thinks you should go with your heart,” said Kurt and took another drink of his cooler. “I’m a hopeless romantic that always sides with my heart over my head. I mean, I would love to be in New York, but I’m not sure if it’s my time right now, know what I mean? I guess I have the summer to decide, and I’ll still have the job at Dad’s shop until I figure everything out.” He looked at her and grinned. “Are you willing to learn how to change oil? ‘Cause I could totally train you at the shop. It would be better money than the Lima Bean, and you get to hang with me all summer. Since I’ll be managing the shop this summer, I can get you a job.”

“And ruin my perfectly good manicure? I’ll think about it and let you know,” Santana responded and tried to smile. “I think I know where I want to go. My destiny is in New York, but I might have to take detour to get there,” she added as she rolled her eyes. “God, I’m starting to sound like Berry in some weird twisted way.”

“You have to admit, Rachel has the drive to make it there. Too bad she’ll be a thousand miles away,” Kurt pouted. “Oh well, I guess I just need to deal with it.”

“We’ll figure everything out, Kurt. But that isn’t the thing that’s really upsetting me,” Santana said as she pulled another tissue from her purse and wiped her eyes. “It’s Brittany. I can’t get her to understand that I won’t be returning to McKinley in the fall. I love her dearly, but she’s completely clueless.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” Kurt asked, putting his hand on hers for comfort.

“Several times, and it’s not getting through to her. She thinks we’ll all be back in September, getting ready for sectionals,” she said sadly then looked into Kurt’s eyes. “Can I tell you something? You need to promise not to tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“It seems everyone wants to confide in me this week,” Kurt mumbled to himself, shaking his head. Santana looked at him curiously. “Nevermind. You know you can tell me anything, Tana.”

“I’m terrified of the future. Everyone is scattering and I’m going to be left alone. And between you and me, I’m scared that Brittany will forget about me once I’m gone. Half the time she can’t seem to remember who I am, and I suspect she has started sleeping around again. I can’t be sure. But one thing I do know is I can’t stay here. I just can’t,” Santana said and started to weep.

“Oh, Santana, come here,” said Kurt, standing up, opening his arms and bringing Santana in for a hug. She sobbed, sounding so lost. “You and I are the same, you know.”

“How is that?” she asked, crying into his shoulder. “Other than being sexy and fabulous?” she sniffed, trying to make a joke.

“I was terrified of being alone, and then I found all of you guys in New Directions. After that I met Blaine, and I felt like my life was finally complete. Now everyone is scattering, and I’m not even sure I have Blaine anymore. Plus Dad and Mom are always in Washington. Finn and I might as well be living here alone, and even he’s moving away at the end of the summer. Why do you think I went all loco? Blaine calls it ‘putting up walls.’ I guess that I’ve been doing that to protect myself from the inevitable loss at the end of the summer.”

Santana pulled away and looked at Kurt. “What are we going to do?” she asked, desperate for some sort of answer.

“I haven’t figured that out yet, Tana. But for now, we have each other and the other New Directions. And you never know, life may bring us both to New York, and I’ll save you from the wrath of Rachel. To tell you the truth, the thought of living with her kinda scares me, too. She has bathroom issues!” Kurt said with a smile. He took Santana’s tissue and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Were you always this awesome?” Santana asked. “I feel like I’ve wasted three years trying to destroy you.”

“I’d like to think so,” Kurt replied and grabbed Santana’s hand. “Hey, the guys can wait. Let’s go sit in the hammock. I think you just need some quiet time to think, and that’s a favorite spot of mine. You can lean back and look at the stars.”

As they were walking to the hammock, Santana asked, “So Kurt, what am I going to do with Brit? I know you and Blaine have the long distance thing figured out, but I’m not sure it can work with us.”

Kurt looked at her in the darkness and said, “I think the only thing you can do is talk to her. I know she’s not getting it, but eventually it’ll get through. She’s such a sweet girl, and she’ll always be my special unicorn. She’s like my adorable little sister. I’m sure she’ll understand and support any decision you make.”

“Thanks, Kurt. I think I love you,” Santana said and gave a small smile as she sat on the hammock. Kurt sat on the grass beside her. “Get up here, it’s not like we’re going to make out or anything. Unless you want to,” she added with an eyebrow wiggle.

“Sorry, Santana, you’re not my type,” Kurt returned sarcastically. “But if I liked the ladies, I would totally tap that. Is that the right term?”

Santana laughed and said, “Yes, that’s the term. You’re so weird, do you know that?”

Kurt sat on the hammock and they both leaned back and looked at the stars. Feeling brave, Kurt put his arm around his Latina friend. She didn’t pull away, but put her head on Kurt’s chest. There was nothing sexual about it. It was just one friend trying to console another. He decided that he was going to start looking out for his friends more. Maybe he would get Santana a job at the shop if she decided to wait for Brittany. She could always work in the office with Blaine when Kurt was dealing with the bigger things in the shop.

Suddenly, Kurt had an epiphany. He had only ever cared about himself and where his life was going. Yeah, he cared about his friends, but really, his needs were all self-centered. Maybe he was no better than Rachel, after all.

“I never thought I would admit it, Tana, but I’m really going to miss that school,” he admitted.

“I know, it’s crazy, huh?” said Santana. “I mean, I was the head bitch in charge, so I’m sure everyone was just scared of me, but I’ll miss it all, too.”

“Well, more specifically, I’ll miss the glee club, but I’m going to miss the classes and the lunchroom conversations. Hell, I’m even going to miss Sue. I spent four years trying to get out of that hellhole, and now I want to go back. At least I can help Will with the club next year,” Kurt said, stroking Santana’s long dark hair.

“Yeah. I’m, like, totally jealous you scored that gig, by the way,” Santana murmured. “It’s kind of amazing that one of the most popular students and arguably one of the least popular became such good friends. I’m glad I got to know you, Kurt.”

Kurt wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or touched at Santana’s backhanded compliment. “Right back at ya, sweetie,” he said kindly. “When her walls are down, Santana’s a really cool chick,” he thought to himself. “Wish she was like this in school.”

They lay there in silence for a bit when Santana started humming. Kurt’s ears perked up as he recognized the song. He was a fan of Pink and sang her songs at every opportunity. Suddenly Santana started singing, letting out her feelings:

“Nobody knows,
Nobody knows but me that I sometimes cry.
If I could pretend that I'm asleep when my tears start to fall.
I peek out from behind these walls.
I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows, no.”

Santana lifted her head off Kurt’s chest and sat up as she continued:

“Nobody likes,
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice.
The one I used to hear before my life made a choice.
But I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows.”

Kurt sat up to join Santana in the song. He knew exactly how she was feeling, because he was feeling the same thing. He stood up and slowly paced the yard as he sang:

“Baby, oh the secret's safe with me.
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be.
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone.
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown,
And I've lost my way back home.
I think nobody knows, no. I said nobody knows.”

Santana stood up to join Kurt. She grabbed his hand, because they were bonding over the same pain, the same insecurity and worries about having to do it alone. They were just two friends sharing their fear of the future. She sang:

“Nobody cares.
It's win or lose not how you play the game.
And the road to darkness has a way,
Of always knowing my name.
But I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows.”

Although Kurt felt terrible for Santana’s pain, he felt a small measure of comfort that he wasn’t going through these fears alone. He was the just the only one who went crazy and decided to go all Extreme Makeover on himself. Maybe all the seniors in the New Directions were feeling confused, lost, crazy and scared, even though they didn’t show it. It was a huge change leaving the sheltered world of high school with its artificially induced social circles. Never again would Kurt or the rest of the graduates reside in a place populated by people all the same age. Even those college bound would find diversity in age and life experiences. He resolved to call a meeting with all the seniors, at least the ones who actually decided to stick around for the summer. They would all make a pact to stay in contact for as long as they could and share their experiences with each other.

He was still a little bitter about Mercedes not saying goodbye. She would be leaving for L.A. any time now, and he didn’t even know what day. His mind was wandering, so he forced it back to the subject at hand. Being scared of being alone. Santana had a full ride to a university, and she still felt lost. They finished the song together, making their way to the back door:

“Tomorrow I'll be there my friend.
I'll wake up and start all over again,
When everybody else is gone.”

“Nobody knows.
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart.
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark.
And the world is asleep.
I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows,
Nobody knows but me.”

“Look, Santana, no matter where life sends us, just remember you can call me anytime and I’ll be there,” Kurt said as he grabbed his cooler bottle, which was still half full.

“Right back at ya, Sexy,” said Santana, giving Kurt a wink. “Let’s go back inside before the boys think we were making out or something.

Kurt was feeling mischievous so he said, “Hey Tana, want to have fun with the guys?” He was being forward again, but this impulsiveness was addicting!

“How?” Santana asked, curious at the look on Kurt’s face. When he got that look, it usually meant some sort of fun.

“Mess up your hair. It’s usually so impeccably done.” Santana looked at him like he had three heads but messed her hair. He continued, “Okay, I swear I’m not trying to hit on you, but redo your lipstick and kiss me.”

Santana realized what he was proposing they do and exclaimed, “Kurt, now you’re just being wanky! I like it! Give me a sec. We’re going to make those boys lose their shit!” She reapplied her lipstick and kissed Kurt on the cheek, on the neck, and finally on the lips, smearing the lipstick on his face. Thankfully, Kurt felt nothing, and he wished it was Blaine doing the kissing. They both giggled while preparing their prank. To complete the ruse, he put the Dalton shirt on backwards and Santana re-buttoned her shirt in a crooked pattern. 

After taking a deep breath to keep from laughing, they made their way into the back door and to the living room, where the guys were playing on the X-Box. “Hey guys, we’re in the middle of a tournament,” Finn said distractedly. “The drinks are in the fridge. Help yourselves.”

Sam looked up from the game and noticed that Kurt and Santana were holding hands and giving moony eyes at each other. He paused the game and poked Puck in the arm. “What in the hell do you want, Evans? I’m in the middle of dying here,” Puck yelled.

Finn did a double take and said, “Dude, did you guys do what I think you did?” He was stunned. As far as he knew, Kurt was as gay as they came. Also, he was in a pretty serious committed relationship, at least as far as Blaine had said this evening during their phone conversation. Why would Kurt do this?

“What we did back there is none of your business,” Kurt said with a wink.

“Santana, you’re officially a slut!” Puck exclaimed. “Do you realize that you have been with all of us now?”

“Like I wasn’t a slut before, Puckerman?” Santana countered with a naughty smirk. “You never complained.”

“Now now, boys, there’s no need for name calling,” Kurt said, lying out of his teeth and trying to keep from laughing. “We had a couple of drinks, and I was missing Blaine so she just decided to console me in the best way she knows how. No big deal.” He realized that he might have gone a little too far when Santana shot him a subtle dirty look, so no one else could see. He looked at her with an “I’m sorry!” shrug.

“No big deal? Kurt, are you insane? First of all, aren’t you supposed to be out and proud?” Finn yelled, starting to freak out a little. Kurt was changing a little too much for his liking. “Second of all, Blaine!!! You know, your BOYFRIEND??”

“You just figured out I was insane after three years?” Kurt asked. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He let out a big laugh, and Santana joined in. “Oh my god, you guys are so gullible! We were just out back talking. I thought it would be funny to make it look like we were making out. Get over yourself, Finn. Blaine would’ve thought it funny,” he said while holding his stomach. He fixed his t-shirt. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to wash my face of all of Santana’s sweet lady kisses.”

Kurt went to the downstairs bathroom and washed his face. Before he joined the men and Santana in the living room, he sent a text to Blaine:

Not sure if you’re still up, but I just wanted to say I miss you. You’re my soulmate and the love of my life.

A few seconds later, he got a response.

Miss you too, soulmate. Are you still drunk?

Kurt chuckled and sent a quick response:

Sort of. Santana came over and we pulled a funny prank on the boys. Come over? Looks like a party is starting.

Kurt knew that Blaine was staying the night at Rachel’s, but he wanted to see him as soon as possible. He was sick of being apart. Kurt wanted to hold onto him, and never let go. He got a response after a minute.

Be there in a bit. Bringing Rachel because she won’t let me come alone.

Kurt gave a smile, put his phone in his pocket, and went to the kitchen, where he got several bottles of beer and a couple coolers. He was more comfortable drinking the coolers as they didn’t make him feel as drunk.

When he returned to the living room, they were all in an X-Box tournament, including Santana. She was in the process of kicking the others’ collective asses. “I’ve brought more libations. Puck, it’s time for the showdown. It’s officially on!” Kurt cried, awkwardly putting down the bottles.

“You do realize that I play this game like it’s my job, right?” Puck asked. “Are you sure about playing against me? And why are you talking dirty again?”

“Libations mean drinks, Noah. Get your damn mind out of the gutter, you pervert! As for the game, I’m drunk, so I don’t care,” Kurt said. He decided to tell a little white lie. “Finn kicks my ass, too. Just give me a damn controller.” Sam passed over his controller and they set up a map.

“So Finn explained the basics, right?” Puck asked. Kurt nodded impatiently as he took a drink. He was feeling a little past buzzed now, and well on his way to drunk again. At least the high from the brownies was starting to wear off. Luckily, everyone else was three sheets to the wind as well, so there was a level playing field.

As Kurt expected, and much to the shock and awe of everyone, he wiped the floor with his friend. Puck didn’t have a chance. “Holy shit, Kurt! You are like one of those savants of video games!” Puck exclaimed. Santana laughed as she had already drunk one beer and was halfway through her second, so that everything that was said sounded funny. “Finn, did he kick your ass too?”

“Every freakin’ time,” Finn said. “No matter what I did, he was ahead of me. Kurt’s a great big liar!”

“Hey! You’re the one who wanted me to hustle Puckerman! Don’t you dare blame me!” Kurt exclaimed.

They spent the next 45 minutes playing games, drinking and talking. Kurt was now full on drunk again, and could barely get off the floor. Everyone else also had several drinks, but they had a higher constitution, so they at least appeared less drunk. Eventually Kurt gave up playing, because he was starting to see double. Tomorrow morning was going to be rough! Very rough.

He staggered up and mumbled, “Gotta pee. B’right back.” He started walking to the downstairs washroom and proceeded to walk into a wall. Everyone started laughing at his predicament. “Goddamn wall jumped in front of me,” he said loudly.

After he was finished in the bathroom, he carefully sent another text to Blaine. He saw the ones he had sent back at the park and shook his head in embarrassment:

Really drunk now, lover. When will you get your cute ass here? I want to be with you.

Almost immediately, there was a response:

Get out of the damn bathroom and see, Mr Drunky.

Kurt took a couple deep breaths to steady himself. Blaine was out in the living room right now. His second half, the one he almost lost forever, was out there waiting for him. He left the bathroom and tried his best to walk a straight line, but only succeeded in running into the wall several more times, and almost knocked over a hall table. “Maybe getting drunk tonight was a bad idea,” Kurt thought to himself. “This is a really bad impression on my Blaine. I blame Noah. No, this is my fault. I could have said no.”

He eventually made it to the living room after a small pit stop to the kitchen because his navigation skills were nonexistent. There he was. Blaine, the love of his life. Kurt watched his boyfriend for a few minutes from the shadow of the hall before making himself known.

Blaine was sitting on the edge of the couch next to Puck, who was showing him a phone screen. He was desperately trying not to laugh. Puck was showing him the video he took of Kurt in the woods. Blaine knew he should have been pissed off at Puck, but this was pure comedy gold!

“Can you email this to me?” Blaine asked. “I want to show this to Kurt when he sobers up. This little gem might help me win our prank war!”

“That’s not very nice, Blainers!” Rachel exclaimed. She had grabbed a cooler and had already downed half of it before Kurt returned from the bathroom. She sat beside Finn, who was also drunk.

Blaine moaned at Rachel’s nickname. He wasn’t going to live this one down anytime soon. He had a bad feeling “Blainers” would become his new nickname among the New Directions members if she didn’t keep her mouth shut. He hoped that the rest of gang was too drunk or too used to tuning Rachel out to pick up the new moniker. For a brief moment, he was tempted to become sassy and call her Strawberry, but he thought better of it.

“Well, neither was that picture you two posted of me on Facebook,” Blaine countered, grinning at Rachel. He was supposed to be annoyed, but being in this house instantly put him in a better mood. It was warm and inviting and felt like home.

“That picture was totally hot!” Finn slurred. “I especially loved the mop on your head.”

“Shut up, Finn,” Blaine said good naturedly, and Finn laughed.

“And that was payback for the picture you put up of Rachel and me, dear boyfriend,” Kurt finally said from the hallway. He stepped into the light.

Blaine looked up from the video to see Kurt standing unsteadily in the hall. His hair was messed up, his clothes were dusty and dirty and his cheeks and nose were red. “Kurt,” he said quietly.

“Blaine, I would suggest you come over to me, because if I tried to walk over there, I might end up flat on my face,” Kurt said with a slight lisp, then giggled.

Blaine stepped over the guys sitting on the floor and went over to Kurt, who leaned against a wall. He took Kurt’s face in his hands and whispered, “Babe, I missed you so much.”

“Well, you’re here now, Blaine. Get a drink and we can cuddle,” Kurt said and gave his boyfriend a sloppy kiss. His drink was on the table beside him so he grabbed it. He called to Rachel, “Hey girl, these are really good! They really do taste like pink!”

“I told you!” Rachel responded. She had downed the other half of the cooler and was looking a bit tipsy already. She was the ultimate lightweight.

“Kurt, I better not drink tonight. You know how crazy I can get,” said Blaine. He was tempted, though. Really, really tempted. But he had to take care of Kurt, to make sure he didn’t get into any more trouble. He was already pissed off at the other men for letting Kurt get into this state.

“Suit yourself,” Kurt said and took a final swig at his cooler. He had lost count, but he must have had at least four or maybe ten bottles throughout the night. He wasn’t really sure. He went to reach for another one when Blaine put his hand out to stop him.

“I think that’s enough, Kurt. Let’s get you upstairs and I can get you some water,” Blaine said with a bit of annoyance in his voice. He wasn’t sure if he was annoyed that Kurt got drunk again or that he didn’t. Maybe it was just time for bed.

“We’re going upstairs? That’s sooo awesome, Blaine. You know what I want to do to you? I am going to take you and…” Kurt said and started explaining what he was planning to do with Blaine. It was something you didn’t tell present company, and Kurt was doing just that. Puck just stared at them with his mouth hanging open. Sam and Finn put their fingers in their ears and started singing loudly. Rachel looked like she was going to faint and Santana just sat there grinning.

“Okay, babe, not stuff you want to say out loud to our friends,” Blaine interrupted and put his hand on Kurt’s mouth, mortified that he would say stuff like that in public. They had both agreed long ago not to discuss their intimacies with anyone. Really, it wasn’t anyone’s business how they spent their alone time together. 

To Blaine’s chagrin, Kurt licked his hand and started laughing. “Goodnight guys. Have fun, but not too much. And make sure to clean up after yourselves. You don’t want Carole to find any bottles, or even worse, Burt,” he added as a goodbye to the gang in the living room. He was the only sober one there, so he figured that he would try to be the responsible one as well.

Blaine helped Kurt up to his bedroom, but not without a lot of effort. He was barely able to walk, and getting upstairs proved to be a challenge. Blaine was just relieved that Kurt was okay, and that he didn’t get into too much trouble. Once they got to the bedroom, Blaine said, “Just sit for a minute, Kurt. I’ll get you some water. You need to drink lots or you’ll have another hangover.”

“Oh god, not that again! I can’t have another hangover!” Kurt exclaimed. “’Cause if you sing that stupid song to me again, I may have to kill you!” He saw the Thunderclap and started looking through the yearbook, laughing at some of the pictures.

Blaine rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom and got some water. He sat on the edge of the bed and passed the cup to Kurt as he said, “Make sure you drink all of this, and another glass after that. You’ll feel much better tomorrow if you do.”

Kurt took a long drink and put the glass on the table. He would drink the rest later. Grabbing Blaine’s hand, he said drunkenly, “Blaine, I missed you so much. I know it was only a few hours, but I thought I lost you forever. I scared you away ‘cause I’m such a loser.”

“I missed you, too, Kurt. It’s been a pretty intense night. But I’m here now, and after I get my errands done tomorrow, we can have a nice long talk about everything, okay?” Blaine said, kissing Kurt’s hand. “And shush, you! You aren’t a loser.”

“So you’re my boyfriend again?” Kurt asked hopefully.

“Of course, babe. I’m sorry I freaked out before. The stress is finally getting to me, I think,” Blaine said sorrowfully.

“Well, I know one thing that can reduce stress,” said Kurt seductively and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Unfortunately, he overshot and ended up almost falling off the bed.

Blaine felt complete bliss when he kissed Kurt, but tonight was not the night for anything else. He didn’t want to take advantage of Kurt in this state. “Not tonight, babe. Sloppy drunk sex is not the most romantic thing in the world. You drink your water, and then we can cuddle and get some sleep.”

“You won’t leave me?” Kurt asked as he took another long drink. “I don’t think I could bear to be apart from you ever again.”

“Never again, Kurt. You and I are a team. We’re partners in this crazy world no matter what happens. We can get through this,” Blaine said as he helped Kurt into his side of the bed. Kurt felt a little dizzy, but he was glad to be in bed. It was a really long day.

As Blaine was getting ready for the end of the day, he looked over to Kurt’s dresser. On top was the ring box Blaine had given Kurt for Christmas. It made him feel a happy warmth throughout his body that Kurt was looking at it while he was away. He knew that his boyfriend kept the box in his sock drawer for safekeeping.

He also thought about the conversation he had with Rachel earlier that evening. Kurt wanted to marry him. Blaine Anderson. The one nobody could love, at least according to his parents. Blaine closed the bedroom door, turned off the light and climbed into bed. Kurt immediately latched onto his boyfriend. He put his arms around Kurt and squeezed him tight.

“Be prepared for me to be attached to you forever,” Kurt murmured as he snuggled in. Within minutes he was sleeping and snoring quietly.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Blaine whispered to a sleeping Kurt as he smiled. This was the first night in several that they had some alone cuddle time, and it was heaven. He knew that they had a long road and some hard decisions to make, but that was for another time. For now, Blaine was home.