Nov. 16, 2012, 8:56 a.m.
Cruel Summer: Chapter 13 - Stay the Same
T - Words: 5,192 - Last Updated: Nov 16, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Jul 26, 2012 - Updated: Nov 16, 2012 774 0 0 0 0
Kurt and Blaine could hear screaming and arguing in the backyard. Curiosity got the better of them, and the couple debated taking a look. In the end they chose to ignore it. Fighting among the New Directions members happened all the time so unless they heard police sirens, there was no reason to bother. Besides, weren’t the adults supposed to be down there to keep control?
While it wasn’t the right time for making out, it was a good time to spend together in peace. Blaine had just dropped a major bombshell on Kurt, and Kurt was trying to deal with the confidential information Blaine had shared with him. He was struggling to keep his temper.
Kurt wanted to kill Blaine’s father. He knew he couldn’t, of course, but it didn’t change Kurt’s desire to do that man bodily harm. The old Kurt wouldn’t have done anything physical. This new Kurt wanted to pull out his sai swords and well… well, he would do something more than sit around. Of course, he wouldn’t because both Kurt and his father would be in some very hot water. Kurt could picture the headlines: Congressman’s Son Beheads Prominent Local Business Man. The picture would be worse. His dad’s face would have that bug-eyed look and Kurt would look like he had had a blood bath a la Carrie. He let a little chuckle escape at the ridiculous image.
Blaine raised his head and looked at him expectantly. “Nothing,” Kurt said softly and went back to his thoughts. He had met Mr. Anderson at various Warblers functions and instantly hated him. Blaine’s dad had treated him with indifference at best and disdain at worst. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson never attended McKinley or New Direction events. Now he knew why.
“I’m going to talk to Mom and Dad as soon as Dad gets home,” Kurt thought to himself. “That bastard is NOT going to get away with this.” He was tempted to have Blaine take off his clothes, but not for any other reason than to check for marks and scars. How did he not notice this before?
Kurt wondered if he had the control to keep from freaking out. The thought of telling his dad about Anderson and then actually doing something about it terrified him. These were fears to face in the future, so for now, he stroked Blaine’s hair quietly. Blaine was breathing heavily, so Kurt figured he fell asleep.
“What am I going to do?” asked Kurt quietly to himself. This was one of those things about being an adult. He had to figure out things on his own. Kurt chided himself; he hadn’t been acting like an adult lately. More like a spoiled brat who didn’t get his way! He started to feel genuine remorse about the emotional stresses he had put on Blaine the last couple of days. While Blaine wasn’t a kid, he was younger than Kurt, and Blaine’s life experiences made Kurt’s look like a walk in the park.
Kurt had never been beaten up. Karofsky had shoved him a few times but never outright hit him. Blaine had been hospitalized at least twice with injuries from bullies and maybe more from his dad. Kurt would have to ask him. Blaine’s dad beat him. Kurt’s dad had tapped him on the butt a few times more as a warning than anything else, and that had happened years ago. A whack on the bottom hardly constituted a beating, and of course Kurt would be so heartbroken at his dad’s disappointment and punishment that he would start crying so hard that his dad had to end up comforting him. Kurt doubted Blaine received such comfort. Blaine did say his mom didn’t even check on him. Blaine appeared to have it all but did he really? Kurt no longer knew.
Something else started to bother Kurt. How could Blaine’s therapist not know? And if he did, why didn’t he do anything about it like reporting the incident? Was Blaine that good at hiding things? What else could he be hiding? Kurt thought that they were totally honest with other. Maybe only with things they felt comfortable about. Blaine wasn’t comfortable about his daddy issues, that was for sure.
Kurt was getting lost in his own thoughts when he heard an urgent knock on the door. Blaine’s head came up sleepily.
“Who is it?” Kurt asked.
Blaine was pleased to hear Kurt’s voice was back to its normal pitch. Although he thought a lower pitched Kurt was super sexy, he hoped that Kurt would not use his bad boy voice again. It just wasn’t him.
“Kurtsie and Blaine, it’s your Sweet Sugar with my Rory in tow. Please come downstairs? We miss you!” squeaked Sugar in her high voice.
“Not a good time, Sugar!” called Kurt.
Blaine shook his head and said, “No, let’s go down. We have something for you.” He gave Kurt a smile. He and Kurt had lots of time to talk things over, but right now everyone was waiting for them.
“Wait! We’re coming,” Kurt yelled at the door and then turned to Blaine. “Does my makeup look okay?”
Blaine nodded. They got out of bed and opened the door to the grinning couple. Sugar gave Kurt a tight hug, and Rory hugged Blaine.
“Kurt, mate, can you come downstairs? The New Directions have something we want to say to you,” Rory asked.
Kurt looked at Blaine, curious. “This is what we were trying to do before Rachel stuck her foot in it,” explained Blaine. Kurt nodded, wondering what this was all about. The New Directions had planned something for him? Kurt briefly felt a bit of flattery, and it felt good. He was determined not to get mad this time. Kurt was sick of being angry, and it was time to let go.
“Let’s go!” cried Sugar, grabbing Kurt’s hand and practically dragging him downstairs. Blaine and Rory followed, talking quietly.
“Is he doing any better?” Rory asked Blaine about Kurt.
“I think so. I sure hope so,” Blaine answered back in a quiet voice.
“Still on for church Sunday?” Rory inquired, “It’s me last time there.”
“Yes, of course,” Blaine assured him. “What’s this leaving for good all about? Aren’t you coming back in the fall?”
“I’ll explain Sunday. I’ll feel a wee bit better about things then,” Rory explained without really explaining anything.
Blaine was mystified by the change of events with Rory, but he decided not to press the issue any further. He figured that all would be revealed on Sunday, and right now Blaine didn’t need any more drama or surprise. His quota was filled for the moment
Sugar pulled Kurt out the back door. “Here he is, guys!” she cried. Her exclamation ended with her signature squeak so she sounded more like Betty Boop than a human girl. Kurt always wondered how Sugar had so much energy. Everyone looked to the back porch then started clapping. Sugar and Rory left Kurt standing and joined everyone else on the lawn. He blushed from the positive attention. His ears flushed red and he smiled broadly.
Blaine joined him and whispered, “This is what Rachel planned, babe.” He grabbed Kurt’s hand and led him down to the patio. He pulled out a lawn chair and made Kurt sit down. The rest of the New Directions, along with Will and Sue, assembled into position on the lawn. Blaine took center stage. “That’s so Blaine Warbler,” thought Kurt. “How did he wrestle the lead from Rachel? Good for him!”
Blaine began by saying, “Kurt, there’s a reason we’re all here. It wasn’t to tell you how you were wrong. It was to let you know how much we all love you.”
“Sweet Blaine, ever the showman!” thought Kurt. He desperately wanted to yell, “That’s my boyfriend!”
Blaine continued, “We want you to listen to this song, and I want you to know that every single word is true.” He turned to the rest of the group to see if they were ready to start. He turned back to face Kurt and started to sing:
“Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.”
Blaine stepped back and let Rachel and Finn step forward. They walked up to Kurt, who had tears in his eyes. He was feeling so happy that these people cared this much about him. He then realized how wrong he really was. Finn and Rachel put their hands on each of Kurt’s shoulders and continued:
“I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be.
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.”
Finn and Rachel stayed with Kurt while Santana, Brittany and Quinn stepped forward to sing a couple of lines together. They all looked in Kurt’s eyes with a sisterly love:
“Don't you ever wish you were someone else.
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.”
Puck, Sam, and Tina joined the three girls for the last part of the chorus:
“And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.”
Blaine stepped forward and grabbed Kurt’s hand while he serenaded him:
“Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through. Ooooohhhhhh.”
The rest of the New Directions, including Will and Sue joined in on the last chorus while Blaine sang the background and money notes. As the song came to an end, everyone got back into position except for Blaine, who pulled up Kurt from the chair and sang, staring into his boyfriend’s eyes:
“And I hope you always stay the same.
‘Cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.No, theres nothing 'bout you I would change.”
“Don't change,” Blaine whispered the last line.
Kurt looked at his boyfriend, stunned. He didn’t know what to say.
“You believe that, don’t you?” asked Blaine.
“I do now,” said Kurt softly. He looked at his boyfriend and said, “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Remember, come what may,” croaked Blaine and brought Kurt in for a soft kiss. Everyone applauded.
“Oh My God!” Brittany whispered to Santana. “Blaine just kissed Kurt. Is he gay?”
Santana stared back in disbelief at Brittany. “Seriously, Brittany? Seriously?”
“Well, I knew Kurt was,” Brittany defended herself.
Kurt pulled away and looked at everyone else. “Thank you, everyone. I love you all. Sorry I’ve been such a bastard lately. I think I just lost my way a little bit. Thanks for helping me find my way back.”
Rachel stepped forward shyly, saying, “And we love you too, Kurt. Sorry we sprung this on you. Now do you understand why I wanted to do this?”
Kurt walked up to Rachel and opened his arms. Rachel let out a small sob and stepped into Kurt’s arms. “Of course, Rachel. Will you forgive me? Again?” Rachel nodded into his chest.
“I think this calls for another New Directions group hug!” said Sue as she smiled. She wasn’t sure whether it was the pregnancy hormones or what, but she was starting to feel something akin to love for this ragtag band of misfits.
******
All the adults were sitting on the patio, sipping beers and mixed cocktails. Kurt had joined them with a glass of lemonade. Finn was cooking hamburgers and hot dogs, feeling very much the man of the place. Well, only as long as Burt was out of town. The rest of the New Directions had decided to play a game of freeze tag on the lawn. Everyone but Brittany, anyway. She didn’t quite get the concept. She just stood in the center of it all, frozen in a statuesque pose. Artie couldn’t roll around on the lawn, so he sat to the side, cheering everyone on.
Blaine was going to stay with Kurt, but his black-haired man encouraged him to join in the festivities. Blaine loved playing sports and group games. His height, weight and free time kept him out of most group sport participations. He had confidentially told Kurt he briefly considered joining synchronized swimming with Sam, but he quickly realized the swim trunks, speedos actually, were cut too small for his comfort. Kurt understood why now. At the time it hadn’t made sense to him. Blaine couldn’t hide secrets in Coach Washington’s competition suits.
Artie rolled over to the adults to talk, saw Kurt with the lemonade and quickly excused himself. “Not taking chances. Uh-uh!” Artie thought to himself. “I don’t want lemonade in the eyes again.”
“So Kurt, is everything ok?” asked Will sincerely.
“Yes, I think it will be,” replied Kurt, smiling.
“Look, let’s go sit on the porch. I’d like a word if that’s alright,” said Will, standing.
“Sure,” Kurt said nervously. “Sorry about the language out the window?” His former teacher didn’t look mad, but Kurt felt uneasy considering how badly he had behaved a few minutes before and how much he had unloaded on him a few days before.
Will took a second and answered, “It’s not about that, Kurt. But I strongly suggest in the future that you think a bit before you yell certain words at people. You could end up endangering yourself.”
Kurt thought about it for minute. “That’s good advice, Mr. Schue,” he said and laughed.
“It’s Will now, Kurt,” Will reminded him.
The two men excused themselves and made their way to the rocking chairs on the back porch. They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their drinks and looking at everyone below.
Kurt decided to break the silence. “Look, Will, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night. It was inexcusable. Something inside just snapped. I was feeling lost and had no idea where to go. I think I’m still lost, at least a little bit. But I know that I have friends that will stand with me. It makes being lost a little more manageable.”
Will put his hand on his Kurt’s shoulder, as he now saw Kurt as a friend. They had passed the student/teacher relationship, after all, and the natural progression was one of friendship. “Kurt, I understand what it’s like to feel lost. I remember when I left Terri, I didn’t know up from down. You know what got me through it? You guys. There are times when life just sucks too much to cope. That is what friends are there for,” Will said, and Kurt gave a small smile. “As people keep saying, New Directions aren’t just a group of friends. It’s a family.”
“Yes, we are one big family. People keep telling me that,” chuckled Kurt. He was beginning to see the world with a new found clarity that he had been missing earlier. “All of you are the best friends I could ever ask for. Even Coach Sylvester,” he continued. He didn’t feel comfortable calling the Cheerios’ Coach “Sue.” She was just too intimidating, even all big and pregnant. “Blaine has been incredible, although I treated him like shit, and he still stood by me. Did you know I almost ran away after you all surprised me? I was so upset. I hated everyone for what I felt was interfering. What’s worse, I almost left Blaine after all he had done for me.”
Will looked at Kurt with wide eyes and said, “Wow. No I didn’t.”
“Blaine was the one who stopped me. I just couldn’t take it anymore, and I was going to leave this city, leave Blaine, and leave everyone without explanation. How selfish is that? I seriously hate myself lately,” Kurt grumbled.
“Kurt, don’t say that!” admonished Will. It was killing him to see Kurt hurting like this.
“Well, I do. Don’t I deserve it? All you guys were trying to do was help me. These past three years have sucked so badly. I was always being bullied and nobody saw it. My dad had his heart attack, and then David scared the crap out of me. Then I had to leave the New Directions and go to a school that wouldn’t even let me be myself. Then I lost out on not only the election and any singing lead in the musical, I didn’t even get into college. What makes the damn, excuse me, the whole thing worse is that I failed to apply to anything else. I have been blaming everyone else for my problems, when I should be really blaming myself.” Kurt took a sip of his drink and continued, “God, I even encouraged Finn to apply to several schools.”
“Kurt, they say that hindsight is 20/20. There’s no use beating yourself up over it. Life is going to be a series of setbacks just like this one. It’s how you deal with them that defines you,” advised Will.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “That gives me lots of confidence then. Thanks, Will,” he said sarcastically, giving Will a bitter smile and then he corrected himself. “Sorry, that was rude of me.”
“You’re 18 years old! You’re expected to make mistakes. Hell, I’m in my mid-30s and I still make stupid mistakes. Did I ever tell you that the only reason I decided to do Rocky Horror Show was to win Emma from Dr. Carl? Now THAT is pathetic,” said Will and shook his head in embarrassment.
“You didn’t!” exclaimed Kurt, raising his perfectly shaped eyebrows and leaning forward like it was some juicy piece of new gossip instead of two year old news.
“Yup,” Will responded. “So be prepared to make some pretty big boneheaded mistakes the older you get. And don’t sweat the small stuff, Kurt. It might seem to be giant problems right now, but you will look back and laugh. Take it from me.”
“So you don’t hate me?” Kurt asked shyly, his insecurities getting the better of him again. He was never quite sure how people really felt about him.
“I don’t think it’s possible to hate you,” said Will with a smile. “Kurt, with graduation I didn’t lose a student, I gained a little brother. I basically think of Finn the same way.”
Kurt beamed at him. “I always wanted an older brother,” he said. “I mean, I have Finn but technically he is my big younger brother. I’m older, you know. Oh, whatever,” he babbled on, making a shooing motion and realizing how ridiculous he was sounding.
“I know life has been kind of crazy lately, but have you figured out what your next step is?” asked Will.
“I can’t say that I have,” admitted Kurt. “All I know is that I have no plans for September, so I guess I’m just sticking around here. I’ll work at Dad’s shop, running the office. The business is half mine, after all. In the meantime I’ll wait for Blaine to graduate, and I’ll take some courses at the community college. Not ideal but the best I can think of right now. I just need to find my purpose in life.”
Will patted Kurt’s knee and said, “That’s truly a very responsible plan! I have every confidence you’ll work things out.” He changed the subject and said, “So remember I mentioned that I wanted to talk to you? You know, the day you got your letter?”
“Things were kinda fuzzy that day, but I think I do,” Kurt said, his curiosity peaked.
“Well, there are in fact two things I wanted to run by you. Actually, Emma has one and I have one. If you agree, I have one thing that you can do in September. If you want, you can start in August,” said Will, looking at Kurt.
“What is it?” asked Kurt. His really wanted to know what it was now.
“As you know, running glee club is not a one person job. Unfortunately, Sue is going to be busy with the baby and Emma will be busy planning the wedding. Shannon said she would, but she wants to concentrate on the football team since Finn, Mike, Puck, and Shane left. We seem to be having the same problem repopulating New Directions. Anyway, Figgins has let me allocate some of the Nationals winnings into hiring an assistant,” Will explained. Kurt nodded, excitedly wondering where this was going. Maybe Will wanted him to help find someone.
Maybe he could recommend a teacher. He could always suggest that super cute Spanish teacher, David Martinez. No, that might not be a good idea. Blaine wasn’t there that day when Mr. Martinez was in the choir room. He had no idea how hot Mr. Martinez was, and Kurt realized he didn’t want Blaine to see him. He made a mental note to have Blaine take German or French next year. Problem solved. He didn’t want any competition. Okay, focus back on Mr. Shue… err, Will.
“Now this job doesn’t pay much. Barely anything at all, really. And it’s only part time, a few hours a day. I know how much work you’ve put into the club, so I wanted to ask if you’d be interested in taking the job? At least until you find something else that’s a better fit,” Will finished.
Kurt just sat there, his mouth hanging open. Wait, what? Did Will just offer him a job? He really needed to learn not to tune people out. Did Will just say he wanted him? If he had to stay in Lima, this was the best possible outcome! “Are you shitting me?” he yelled happily and a little too loudly. He covered his mouth, realizing he just swore out loud again. Everyone looked up, making sure that Kurt wasn’t losing it again. “Sorry, guys,” Kurt called, blushing furiously. Everyone laughed and went back to their celebrations.
“No Kurt, I’m not kidding you,” Will said and gave a small laugh. It was so weird seeing Kurt like this! “Now before you accept, this is going to be a big job. I’m going to need help finding music, conducting auditions for New Directions, and helping with the singing and choreography. You really impressed me in your NYADA audition, so I know you can do it. There’s also lots of paperwork that you don’t even know about. Registering for all the competitions are a huge pain in the butt.”
“I’ll do it!” interrupted Kurt. He had a giant grin on his face. This was awesome!
“Also, you’ll be helping with picking out set…” Will continued, thinking he had to convince Kurt further. “You will?”
“Of course I want to!!” exclaimed Kurt. He stood up and pulled Will up for a hug. “Thanks, Will! I gotta go tell Blaine and Mom!”
“Before you do that, I need to tell you to come into the school next week and fill out some paperwork with Figgins. You’ll be considered part time non-teaching staff at the school, so there are certain background checks you need to do. It’s all a formality,” Will explained.
“Wow, I’m a bit overwhelmed,” confessed Kurt. “You just made me feel a million times better about staying in Lima. Thanks.”
“There’s an ulterior motive in asking you as well, Kurt,” said Will. “I want you to keep an eye on things in the halls. I did a terrible job keeping the school from bullies. I want you to be my eyes. You know what to look out for. You’ll also have the power to do something about it. Shannon, Sue, and I are starting an anti-bully task force, kind of like the Bully Whips but more proactive with education, and I want you to be the part-time staff representative.”
“This just keeps getting better and better!” exclaimed Kurt. “You really think I can make a difference? Can I give detentions?”
“Yes on both counts,” said Will, laughing and clapping Kurt on the shoulder. “This is going to be fun, I promise.”
“Can I tell the others now?” asked Kurt excitedly. It was amazing how things could change so drastically for the better in such a short time.
“You don’t need my permission anymore, Kurt. I’m not your teacher. I’m now your colleague!” said Will proudly. “But first Emma wanted a word. Do you mind giving us a few more minutes?”
“Big brother, colleague, wedding planning client, I think we’re going to be spending a lot of time with each other!” said Kurt. “Of course I’ll talk to Emma.” He shook Will’s hand warmly. “Can I mention how weird it is to call you guys by your first names?”
“You’ll get used to it,” said Will. “There are some teachers that are still there from when I graduated, and I still have a hard time calling them by their first name, although they insist.” He turned away from Kurt, leaned on the porch railing, and called, “Hey, Emma! We’re ready for you now! Can you bring that file?” Emma nodded and grabbed her messenger bag.
“What file? They have a file on me?” Kurt thought to himself.
Emma daintily made her way upstairs. Kurt could never understand how she could walk in those shoes. She always looked so grandma fabulous, but those shoes could not be comfortable. Maybe when he started working at the school, he would try to talk her into a makeover. She would look great in black and white.
Both men stood. Will stood to offer Emma his seat, and Kurt stood because he was taught to do so when a lady entered the room, or porch, as the case may be. Will excused himself and went down to rejoin Sue and her caustic tongue. He honestly found Sue unintentionally hilarious at times and was always surprised by what spouted out of her mouth.
“So, Kurt, will you be joining us at McKinley in the fall?” asked Emma.
Kurt wanted to hug Emma, but he hesitated. He knew how particular she was about that sort of thing. “I sure am! Thanks for thinking of me. Would you mind if I hugged you?” he asked tentatively.
“That would be lovely,” said Emma, smiling. She gave Kurt a warm hug. She was getting used to body contact, and every day was getting easier. Plus, Kurt was such a sweet boy and so clean unlike so many teen boys. Her keeping-your-body-clean pamphlet series had made a huge impact on the male population at McKinley High. Not that Kurt ever needed improvement. Well, except for the April Rhodes fiasco during Kurt’s sophomore year, but she blamed April for Kurt’s one time lapse of judgement. Yes, Emma was pleased with her ability to deal with teen boy hugging. Yay, Teen Hygiene!
“Kurt, please sit,” she said and gestured to the other chair.
Kurt sat in the chair opposite Emma. She pulled out a file folder with his name on it and explained, “Before graduation, I was talking to my cousin Katherine, who lives in New York City.” There was that damned city again. It seemed to Kurt like he was never going to escape those three words. They would haunt him for life. “She works for a production company that produces several different reality shows. They’re actually looking for some interns for the fall and winter season. Now I know it’s a complete long shot, but I thought you might be interested in applying. She’s waiting for your application if you’re interested. The position doesn’t start until mid-autumn, and it’s very selective. Luckily, the deadline isn’t until mid-July so you have time. Would that be something that might interest you?”
Emma passed the file folder to Kurt. “You don’t need to decide now. All the information is inside. Once you give me the go ahead, I’ll let Katherine know that you’re sending the application. She will forward it to the hiring committee,” she added.
Kurt slowly took the file and looked down at it. It was labeled “Kurt Hummel – Fallen Angel Productions Intern Position Application.” He opened it and looked at the information packet, which included a brochure and an application form, along with an envelope to send back.
Kurt looked up at Emma and said, stunned, “Ms. Pillsbury, um Emma, this is very generous, but what about the job at the school?”
“The job with New Directions will always be there for you, and you can leave it at any time. We know that being in New York was your dream. A position like this doesn’t come very often, and knowing someone working in the company helps a lot,” said Emma. She wasn’t sure how Kurt was going to react. His face was blank, and he was staring at the application packet.
Kurt looked up and tears were threatening to spill down his cheeks. “Thank you… soo much. I need to talk everything over with my family, but I’ll certainly look at this information. I want to say yes, but this is something I need to talk over with the others.”
Emma looked over to Will and signaled for him to come back over to the porch.
Kurt put the file folder down. Standing up, he gave Will a big hug and then leaned over and gave Emma another one. Emma tensed a bit, but relaxed when she realized nothing bad was going to happen. “I love you both,” he said emotionally.
“And we love you, Kurt,” said Emma. “All your dreams are going to come true. All you need is a little time.”
“Now can I tell them?” asked Kurt. He was just bursting and needed to tell everyone the news.
“Feel free!” said Will, gesturing to the people below.
Kurt put his hand on the patio railing and yelled, “Hey everyone!” They all turned to look at him. “Kurt Hummel is returning to McKinley!!”