“I didn’t get in.”

That was it. Everything Kurt Hummel had worked for over the last year was gone. All his hopes and dreams vanished into thin air. The only thing that Kurt felt was numb. He wanted to be alone, to run and hide away from everyone as he was increasingly feeling embarrassed by his failure to get in to NYADA. God dammit! He had done nothing but talk about New York and NYADA to the point where even Blaine and his dad had to ask him to stop. And now he had to face them, face everybody and tell them he had failed at something, yet again. Tears burned in his eyes. He needed time to work out his feelings but had to stay and see if Rachel got into NYADA. However, based on her audition, he thought they would both need to find a new dream.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt,” Rachel Berry said comfortingly. After consoling Kurt on his rejection, Rachel slowly picked up her letter. The fear in her eyes made Kurt feel even worse.

“Rachel has been waiting for this moment all her life,” Kurt thought. Finn Hudson had his arm around his brother, supporting Kurt even though he was rejected from Pace University not two minutes before. Rachel opened her letter and read, her face blank. Tears formed in her eyes. “Oh damn,” Kurt added, “We’re so screwed. Guess we’re both Lima losers, at least for the immediate future.”

Without taking her eyes off the letter, Rachel whispered, “I got in.”

Kurt couldn’t believe it. He felt his face redden and he stopped trying to hide back his tears. “Congratulations,” he said numbly. “You’ll do great.” He tried to smile, but all he could give was a bitter smirk. An assortment of thoughts ran through his head. “This is so unfair, this is so unreal. I hate this. I hate you, Rachel Berry. I hate everybody. Why did this have to happen to me?”

“Kurt, I’m so sorry. Can we talk about this?” Rachel asked with tears sliding down her cheeks. “This isn’t only my dream; this was for all of us.”

Kurt put on his brave face. “Rach, you know how much I love you, but I really need to be alone right now. Besides, Blaine is waiting for me. He understood how much I wanted to do this with you two,” he said as he ripped his own letter in half. He moved over to where Rachel was crying and brought her in for a hug. “Really, congratulations, Rachel. We’ll work this out.”

“I love you, Kurt. You’ll always be my best gay,” she whispered into his shoulder.

Kurt gave a small smile over his shoulder to Finn and responded, “And you’ll always be my Barbra. I love you too, Rachel Berry. Your name will be in lights before we know it!”

After Kurt pulled away from Rachel, Finn pulled his smaller brother in for a bone crushing hug. “Dude, I’m so sorry about this. We’ll sit down with Burt and Mom and figure things out. Will I see you back at home?”

“Sure, sure. You go celebrate. Talk to you later,” Kurt said quietly. Rachel was looking at him with a concerned look on her face. This was not the Kurt Hummel she knew, not at all. The look in his eyes was cold like steel. All love of life had disappeared from those beautiful green eyes.

******

As Kurt left the choir room, Rachel threw herself into her fiancé’s arms and started sobbing. Yes, she was ecstatic that she made NYADA. It was only one of the most prestigious musical theater programs in America, nay, the world! Without Kurt and Finn, though, her victory felt hollow.

“Finn, this is not fair!” she sobbed. “We had our dreams! We were going to get a little apartment in Manhattan and go on adventures and I was going to star in our own musical!”

Finn nodded against her hair. He felt torn. He wasn’t too bothered about being rejected from Pace because, truth be told, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go there. He still felt as lost as he had a few months ago when Schue and Miss Pillsbury pulled him into her office to talk about his future. Right now he was more worried about the two most important people in his life.

He wasn’t sure whether to be happy that his fiancée got into the school of her choice or to be upset that his brother didn’t. He didn’t do emotions well, so he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. The way he dealt with his negative feelings was through sports or video games. Unfortunately, he was far away from both.

Finn held Rachel at arm’s length and said, “Rachel, come on, sweetie. You need to calm down. This is a day for celebration! I’m sure that your dads will want to take you out for a celebration dinner. This is a good thing, right?”

“Rachel always confuses me,” he thought. “I always hope I’ll say the right thing. You could never be sure with Rachel. Just like going out to eat with her. You never knew for sure if the food was the right kind. You might think it was the right kind but then it would have eggs in it or something and be the wrong kind. Sometimes just thinking about what to say to Rachel makes my head hurt. And she could be scary if I got it wrong.” Finn found himself looking nervously around the room and fidgeting with his hands.

Rachel was having one of her very rare selfless moments. Finn noticed that those rare moments had become much less rare over the past few months, and this made him happy. “Finn, did you see Kurt? I think this broke him! The look in his eyes scared me,” she said as she moved towards the choir room door. “I need to catch up to him. I’m not going to New York without either of you.”

Finn gently grabbed her arm before she could run out into the hall. “Rach, you should know Kurt by now. When he says he wants to be alone, he doesn’t want to talk to ANYONE. Not me, not Blaine, not even Burt. I think right now he needs a little time to himself. I’m sure he’ll be up for one of your famous Hummel-Berry sleepovers in a couple days.”

Rachel pulled out a tissue from her purse and sniffled, “As usual, my wonderful, handsome fiancée is the voice of reason to my voice of insanity. But as happy as getting into NYADA makes me, I’m more worried for my best friend. I’ll text him later.” She looked out the door down the hall. “Let’s get home. I’m sure that Daddy and Papa are foaming at the mouth waiting to find out if I got in or not. They’re going to be so disappointed when they find out I’ll be deferring my admission until next year, but I’m sure they’ll support me in any decision I make.” She walked out the door, about to leave McKinley as a student for the last time.

Finn just stood there, stunned. He would not let Rachel give up her dream. It was the one thing she had worked towards for most of her life. For now, he needed to take Rachel home and then get back to his brother, who he was sure had a broken heart.

******

Kurt walked slowly down the hall. He wanted to get out of William McKinley High School as soon as possible. Yes, this place was the source of great friends and some of the best moments of his life, but it was also a source of untold misery. He wondered if he would miss any of it. The glee club was his family and he suspected he would be in contact with many of them for years to come. But the rest, no, he wouldn’t miss it. He was glad to be rid of the assholes that made his life a living hell for 4 years. He would be getting out of this place and going to New York where he….

“Oh shit, I’m not getting out of this damn cow town,” thought Kurt with a start. “I have to see these people every single day for the rest of my life. Might as well get used to working at Dad’s shop, because that seems to be the only thing I’m good for. Finn and I will take over the business and live happily ever after. Yeah, right.”

Kurt looked around. “Where’s Blaine?” he thought. “Oh that’s right. He wanted to run a quick errand.” He sent a text to his boyfriend:

I have news. Come get me.

A few seconds later, he received a response.

I’m at the mall. Be there in a few minutes. Love you!

Instead of heading out to the parking lot, he walked to the auditorium. This was a source of his bliss, and he wanted to experience it one last time. God knows if he would ever see a stage again. The best thing he could ever hope for was bit parts in Community Theater, and Lima wasn’t known for their stellar theater arts.

Spying no one in the large auditorium, he slipped in the side door and walked onto the stage. Taking a seat on the edge of the stage, he put his head in his hands. He felt helpless and hopeless and awful and frustrated and wanted to cry or scream or beat up something. Too many emotions started rushing through him and the tears started to flow again.

“Kurt?” called a voice from offstage. Kurt looked up to see Mr. Schuester. “Why aren’t you out celebrating with the others? Emma and I were going to join you later.”

“Hey Mr. Schue,” said Kurt wiping the tears off his face and onto the top of his pant legs. As much as he loved his glee teacher, he just wanted to wallow in self-pity for a few more minutes. “I just wanted to spend my last minutes here in the place that I loved the most.”

Will came over and sat down next to his newly minted former student. “Hey Kurt, what’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy to get out of here,” he asked with concern.

Kurt fought back the urge to start bawling, to break down in front of the man who had helped him get through these three very difficult years. “I didn’t get in,” he murmured.

“Oh damn, Kurt, I’m so sorry,” Will said, putting his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “I’m sure you and Rachel will be able to try out next year. I have an idea that you might…”

“She got in,” Kurt interrupted. He really didn’t want to talk about Rachel right now.

“Oh.” Thinking his words over carefully, Will debated sharing the phone call he had received the week before from Madame Thibideaux. She had called Will to ask about Rachel and her performance experience. While he gave the recruiter a glowing recommendation about Rachel, he had only mentioned Kurt in passing.

“Oh is right,” returned Kurt, looking at Will hard. “Surprising outcome, although not entirely unexpected.” Kurt got up and brushed the dust off his pants. He didn’t even care if they got dirty. “Well, I better get going. Thanks for everything, Mr. Schue.” He put out his hand to shake with his former teacher’s.

“None of that Kurt. New Directions is a family, and you’re still one of us whether you like it or not,” Will said as he pulled Kurt in for a hug. The boy was surprised at first as he didn’t like to be touched unexpectedly, but he went ahead and returned the sentiment so he could get out of there as fast as possible. He had so many things he wanted to say to Mr. Schue, but he just didn’t have the energy or the desire to do so right then.

Will pulled out a business card, wrote down a telephone number and explained, “Here’s my cell number, Kurt. I want you to call or text any time you need me. In fact, I’d like you to come to my office next week, once you decompress. Emma brought up an idea just yesterday that I think would be a perfect fit for you.”

Kurt looked at him skeptically. What did he mean and why would Ms. Pillsbury be looking at stuff for him? Had she known something? “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Mr. Schue. I think this is a message from the greater universe that I’m destined to be a Lima Loser,” he informed and realizing what he had said, added, “No offense.”

“None taken. Staying at McKinley was my choice. I had my chance to leave and I chose my true love…all of you. Who knows where my life might take me in the near future? We have the wedding, and you’re still going to plan that, right?” Will asked hopefully.

“I guess so,” Kurt replied. The last thing he wanted right now was to be around other people. Happy people, successful people; people who had realized their dreams. Just about every other person in the New Directions, except him and well, Finn, got exactly what they wanted. Maybe the Hudson-Hummel household was cursed. “I’ll call you early next week,” said Kurt as he walked away with a wave, leaving Will standing on the stage.

He stopped for a moment to see Blaine had sent him a message that he was ready to pick him up. Before he left the auditorium, the teacher called to him.

“Hey Kurt?”

“Yes, Mr. Schue?” Kurt replied as he turned around to face his former teacher.

“You know you don’t have to call me Mr. Schue anymore. You aren’t my student. Please call me Will.”

Kurt gave a sad little smile. At that moment, he wished he WAS still Will’s student. Then he wouldn’t have to face his future in Lima. “Sure thing Mr. Sch….Will. Until next week,” he said with a hangdog expression. Will noticed how sad Kurt looked and watched as his former charge left with an aura of utter defeat.

After Kurt left, Will pulled out his phone and brought up his fiancée’s number. “Hey sweetie, it’s me. Can you take out that file of information we had for Kurt? I think it’s time to start phase 2 of Operation: Get Kurt to New York,” he said with an excited glint in his eye.

******

Blaine Anderson was worried. He was really worried. When Kurt texted him, he was at the mall buying his boyfriend a congratulatory gift. He saw an adorable white picture frame with happy puppy faces on it and the words “Puppy Love” along the bottom edge and knew it would be a perfect present for the recent graduate. He planned to put his favorite picture of the two of them in it so Kurt could take it with him to New York.

But Kurt’s last couple of texts were odd and unsettling.

Blaine had recently accepted the fact that Kurt was going to be leaving in a few months and they would be dating long distance. It was only eight or so months, right? And they weren’t so far away that weekend visits were out of the question. If he understood it right, Kurt would have college breaks that were longer than public school breaks and could come back home during those times. Rachel even said that she would have a little space for Blaine’s stuff in their fabulous Manhattan apartment, so he could store a change of clothes or two and not have to cart stuff back and forth all the time. They were going to arrange several Skype sessions a week, pending their school schedules, of course. It was going to be just fine.

So when his phone vibrated with a new message, Blaine pulled it out of his pocket and swore under his breath. He expected a message full of excitement and way too many exclamation points. Other than a small update, all that it said was, “I have news.”

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit!” he thought as he paid for the frame. This could NOT be good.

“Poor Kurt cannot get a break,” he murmured as he exited the mall to his car and drove back to the school.

Kurt was ecstatic with Blaine’s transfer to McKinley last fall. It was an ironic victory of sorts for Blaine. While he got his way, his relationship with his parents changed. The void between them widened, if that was even possible, and he doubted it could ever be repaired. He could never tell Kurt what a personal sacrifice changing schools involved.

These past few years were so hard on Kurt, and Blaine surmised it was about to get a little bit harder. This past year was by far the worst. Not only did Kurt lose the student election by default due to Rachel stuffing the ballot boxes, he lost out on the lead on West Side Story because he didn’t fit the typical Tony image. Kurt had long ago told Blaine that he was proud that he had landed the lead role, but Blaine was never really sure. Kurt really wanted that part.

Blaine felt REALLY guilty about getting the role of Tony, but as his boyfriend told him time and time again, Blaine had won it fair and square. However, in the back of his mind Blaine wondered that if Kurt had played Tony, would it have improved his odds at getting into NYADA?

Blaine sighed and put his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. Kurt should be along any minute now. The boys had been invited to Rachel’s end of school year celebration and they promised they would go. However, Kurt’s text worried Blaine.

He watched as Kurt approached the car from the auditorium. Okay, that was odd. What was he doing coming out of the auditorium instead of the front doors? Instead of a huge rush of emotion from Kurt, he was greeted with a blank face. Something was terribly wrong. “Hey, babe,” Blaine greeted and touched his boyfriend on the shoulder. “How did it go?”

Kurt mumbled something quietly, but Blaine couldn’t understand what he said. “Excuse me?” he asked politely.

Kurt passed over the torn letter and stared down at his hands. “This is so like Kurt. I bet he ripped it up with a theatrical flourish. He’s such a diva,” Blaine thought. He put the pieces of the letter back into order, grabbed some tape out of his book bag, and slowly began repairing the letter as it gave him a chance to prepare himself for its contents.

Dear Mr. Hummel:

First and foremost, I would like to let you know what a pleasure it was to meet you at your audition. I stand by my comment that your performance of “Not the Boy Next Door” was exemplary. I think you have the potential to go far in whatever you do.

That being said, I regret to inform you…

Blaine didn’t have to read any more of the letter. He would never admit it to Kurt, but he was relieved that Kurt wouldn’t be leaving him. Yet, he wanted to throw the letter out the window and take Kurt into his arms to comfort him. The most startling thing was that there wasn’t a look of hurt on Kurt’s face. There wasn’t much of anything. That worried him immensely. He knew Kurt kept things in, internalizing any hurt he felt. It eventually cumulated into something intense and dramatic for all involved. He rivaled Rachel for some epic storm outs from glee class.

Blaine passed back the repaired letter. “Kurt, I’m so sorry,” he said with as much comfort in his voice as he could muster. He thought back to all the therapy sessions he had been through, put on his best empathy voice, and advised, “I can only imagine how much hurt you’re feeling right now. It’s only normal for you to feel shock and anger. We can talk this out. I’m sure you and Rachel can work on your resumes and…”

“Why does everyone say that?” Kurt yelled suddenly. Blaine flinched and Kurt realized who he was talking to. In a much quieter voice he said, “Sorry, Blaine, I’m not mad at you. You’re the second person who said pretty much the same thing to me. Rachel got in.”

“What? How? Where… I saw that audition! You should have been a shoe in! Well, at least compared to Rachel,” said Blaine, his voice getting a little frantic.

“Well apparently they saw more talent in her three lines than in my entire song. Oh well, I expected this. Like I said to Mr. Schue… Will, I’m destined to be a Lima Loser,” Kurt said, his voice cracking on the last two words.

“Please don’t say that,” Blaine scolded, reaching over the seat to his boyfriend to bring him into a loving embrace, only to have his arms gently pushed away.

“Blaine, I’m barely keeping myself together. Being in your wonderful warm arms would send me over the edge. So please back off, ok?” Kurt asked. He didn’t want to push his boyfriend away, but it was the only way to keep from breaking down.

Blaine was a little hurt at the rebuke but completely understood. “Look, we don’t have to go to Rachel’s party. We can swing by the store and get some Ben & Jerry’s, and we can cuddle while watching Sound of Music.”

Kurt understood that his boyfriend was trying to comfort him, but it wasn’t comforting that he needed right now. It was solitude. “No, Blaine. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I really need to be by myself right now. Why don’t you go to the party? I promise as soon as I’m ready for company I’ll text you, and we’ll gorge ourselves on as much junk food as you please. I may even join you at the party later,” he promised.

“Kurt, please?” Blaine begged. The last thing he wanted to do was leave his boyfriend alone. Being alone led to thinking, and thinking to depression, and from depression, he didn’t want to think about it. He knew what Kurt was going through; he had been in similar situations a time or two in the past. His parents had the therapy bills to prove it.

Kurt forced a small smile and said with a fake happy tone, “Really, I promise I’ll be fine. Just drive me home and you can take your car to the party. That way I can join you later. I just want to think of some options. It’s my own damn fault for not applying to other schools. What was I thinking?”

Blaine wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t want to upset Kurt further. “Okay, but you need to promise that you’ll call me as soon as you need me. I’ll make my appearance, attempt to have a good time and I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Ok, Dad,” Kurt snarked, but not unkindly.

During the ride home, Kurt’s mood progressed from numb to angry. “If I’m going to be able to live in this shithole cow town and not be ostracized, I need to make some major changes,” he thought darkly. “It’s the only way. The only way to fit into Lima is to conform to the Middle America’s idea of “normal.” No one is allowed to express themselves, for god sakes!! Look at the glee club, for example. Every one of its members tried to express themselves in one way or another and each member became a pariah. Even the former popular members of New Directions were affected!” Kurt didn’t share his thoughts with Blaine because what he had planned had to be done alone. It was time for Kurt to be the actor he had dreamed about before his life came crashing down. It was time to make Blaine believe he was okay.

Once they arrived home, Kurt gave his boyfriend a kiss and urged, “Go! Have fun. Sing some Katy Perry. As I’m sure you’re aware, Rachel’s karaoke collection is legendary.” Blaine thought that maybe Kurt’s mood was improving. Kurt noticed that Blaine was smiling and smirked internally, knowing that his ruse was working.

“Okay, Kurt, but I really feel bad leaving you like this,” whined Blaine. Kurt shut the car door and waved goodbye before running over to the front steps. “Okay, fine! Fine, I’m going!” Blaine mumbled to himself.

He blew Kurt a kiss and backed out onto the street. Kurt waved and smiled as he drove away. When Blaine turned the corner and was out of sight, Kurt’s smile turned into a sneer and his eyes went back to the steel that Rachel had seen at the school.

“I also have work to do,” he muttered as he dug out his keys and let himself into the house.

******

As Blaine drove up to the Berry’s home, he noticed several cars already in the driveway. “Looks like the party’s inside. They must be celebrating Rachel’s acceptance letter,” Blaine sighed, not really sure if he wanted to go indoors. He missed Kurt when he wasn’t around. At the risk of sounding sickly cute, Kurt completed him. It was time for Blaine to put on his brave face. He put on his brightest showman’s smile and got out of the car.

Blaine and the father Berrys had a pretty good relationship. It was nice to have some adult role models in Lima’s gay community, which was pretty limited. Life was so confusing right now, and it was nice to have someone to talk to. He never had a mentor before so he had to muddle things through on his own. Kurt was his closest confidant, but there were times when it was nice to have a different point of view.

When Blaine walked up to the front yard he found Hiram and LeRoy Berry sitting on the front step, heads together and talking in low tones. When they saw Blaine, they stopped talking and stood up to greet their young guest. The worried look they had on their faces was replaced with giant smiles.

“Hello Mr. and Mr. Berry,” greeted Blaine. “I take it the party is down in the stage room?”

“Blaine!” Hiram exclaimed. He pulled Blaine into a warm hug. Of all of Rachel’s friends, he always had a soft spot for this man and his boyfriend. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s Hiram and LeRoy?”

“Sorry,” Blaine said, laughing. “It’s a habit. I was raised to respect my elders.”

“Nonsense! We’re friends. Calling me an elder just makes me feel old,” LeRoy said and noticed that Kurt was missing. “Will Sir Hummel be joining us later?” he quipped.

Blaine gave a small sad smile. “Hopefully. I assume you’ve already heard what happened?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” said Hiram, shaking his head. “Rachel arrived not five minutes ago and virtually threw herself in my arms sobbing. We’re happy for our little girl, but devastated for Kurt. We’re a bit concerned, however, that she informed us she’ll be staying in Lima for another year.”

Blaine was shocked. “That, I didn’t hear. Um…wow,” he said. Rachel wouldn’t stay in Lima for anything in normal circumstances. She almost had tunnel vision in her need to get out of small-town Ohio.

“We always support everything our little girl has done. We even supported her in this frankly premature wedding, but staying in Lima screams Bad Idea,” said Hiram, wringing his hands nervously.

“Yes, a very bad idea,” LeRoy added. “No matter, everyone is downstairs. Unfortunately, it’s not a very party-like atmosphere. Rachel is still a bit upset and everyone is trying to calm her down.”

“I understand,” said Blaine awkwardly. “Well, I should get down there.”

As he made his way down to the party room, Blaine thought, “How typical.” He loved Rachel like a sister, he really did. But his lover was the one who was rejected from his one true dream; he was the one sitting home alone with a broken heart. And somehow, Rachel was the one surrounded by her friends and being consoled because she was going to get her dream temporarily alone in New York? How fair was that?

“We’re all going to make our way to New York eventually,” he thought bitterly. “Why aren’t these friends over at Kurt’s house making him feel better?” He then realized with a start that he was one of those people that were there for Rachel when he should’ve been back with Kurt. He resolved at that moment to spend only a few minutes at the Berry house, and then rush back to the man that needed him. He also planned on having a stern talk with Finn about supporting his brother in a crisis.

As he descended the stairs he found Rachel sitting on her couch with several of the current and former New Directions members surrounding her. Mercedes Jones and Santana Lopez were standing in the corner, whispering and giving Rachel subtle dirty looks and debating leaving the party. Rory Flanagan, who was still in the US for a couple weeks before he went home, was sitting on the floor ready to cry.

Rachel looked up to see her friend standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Blaine?” she sniffed. “Is Kurt with you? I really wanted to talk to him.” She stood up and ran over to Blaine, putting her small arms around him.

“Sorry Rach,” he said, putting his face in her hair. “He needed some alone time to think about things.”

“Kurt hates me!!!” Rachel wailed. She had a talent for jumping to the most dramatic of conclusions.

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s happy for you. He just needed time alone to reflect,” Blaine said, holding Rachel at arm’s length. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I think I’m going to go back to him. I hate myself for leaving him alone like this.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything different. I was planning on postponing this party anyhow,” said Rachel. “Will you please tell Kurt to call me when he’s up to it?”

“Absolutely,” said Blaine.

 “Dude, hold up. I’ll follow you home,” said Finn. He turned to Rachel. “Do you mind, Rach?”

“There’s no question, Finn. You need to be there for Kurt. Blaine, please tell him I’ll be over later this evening once I finish talking to Daddy and Papa,” Rachel said, wiping her eyes with the balled up tissue.

Finn gave Rachel a kiss, and Blaine gave her one last hug before running upstairs to their cars.

******

Kurt was lying back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. No one was home, so that made what he was planning on doing so much easier. He looked over to the floor beside his bed at the boxes and garbage bags he got from the garage.

Inside, Kurt felt a seismic shift. It felt like his life had turned upside down, and not in that “first time in love” way. More like “oh shit, my life has gone to hell!” way. He was so very angry at himself, and he was just as angry at Rachel. She had him convinced that he was sure to get into NYADA. Because of that, he didn’t apply to any other schools. No, that wasn’t fair. He was just angry that Rachel was accepted. He was not angry at her. It was his fault that he didn’t apply to any other schools. Now the best he could hope for was some courses at the local community college, and possibly applying to some colleges in New York next year. Well, one silver lining was that he would be there for Blaine’s senior year.

“Lima Loser, Lima Loser, Lima Loser,” was looping endlessly in his mind. He stood up and started pacing across his room, building up courage for the new task at hand. He walked over to his walk in closet, his dresser, his bedroom door. Over and over again. His mind was racing. Suddenly he started singing:

“What good is this pacing?
I don't even know what I'm doing!
I don't even know what trick I ought to try.
NYADA, where are you?
Already killing my dream.
One more disaster I can add to my,
Generous supply?”

Kurt sat back on the bed, frustrated and angry. He felt completely lost. He wasn’t sure what to do next, so he continued singing:

“No good deed goes unpunished.
No act of charity goes unresented.
No good deed goes unpunished.
That's my new creed.
My road of good intentions,
Led where such roads always lead.
No good deed,
Goes unpunished!”

He walked over to the bookshelf and pulled the Thunderclap, McKinley’s yearbook, from the shelf. He opened it to the proper page and sang as he ripped it violently from the book:

He whispered, “The Election…”
He sang a little louder, “West Side Story.”
A bit louder, “NYADA.”

Kurt hurled his yearbook across the room, knocking items off his dresser.

He almost screamed, “NYADA!!”

He grabbed a box and walked over to his shelves on the other side of the room. He then grabbed everything that reminded him of that goddamned glee club and his life in McKinley and violently threw them into boxes as he continued singing:

“One question haunts and hurts.
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good,
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are,
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are,
Maybe that's the reason why.”

After clearing his shelf completely of his high school and New Directions life, he grabbed a garbage bag and moved over to his walk in closet. This was the key to his change. It all had to go….every last scrap. eBay, Goodwill. Shit, it can all burn in a bonfire for all he cared, but it had to go. He sang as he pulled garments off the hangers and stuffed them into garbage bags.

“No good deed goes unpunished.
All helpful urges should be circumvented.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Sure, I meant well, -
Well, look at what well-meant did:
All right, enough - so be it,
So be it, then:
Let all Lima be agreed,
I'm a loser through and through,
Since I cannot succeed,
NYADA, attending you
I promise no good deed,
Will I attempt to do again.
Ever again!”

The rest he could get rid of later. He had to go to the mall and do some shopping. Before he left the room, he grabbed his framed group picture of New Directions and threw it on the floor, shattering the glass with a satisfying crunch. God, that felt good!

“No good deed,
Will I do again!”

He left the room virtually trashed and ran downstairs, grabbing his keys and wallet on the way. He went over to his car, squealed out of the driveway, and sped to the mall. The Kurt Hummel everyone knew and loved was gone. What was left was much darker.