When you’re in kindergarten, Valentine’s Day comes with an instruction book.

Dear Parents,

Regardless of what day Valentine’s Day falls on, it will be celebrated on a Friday. The weekly schedule has space for parties on Fridays after lunch, not any other day. This year’s Valentine’s Day celebration is on February 16.

Children should bring in a shoebox—with lid—for art class on Thursday, February 15. The children will decorate the boxes to hold their valentine cards. In past years, we have found that boxes from adult-size shoes are preferable because child-size shoeboxes may not be large enough for some of the cards.

Children should bring valentines to distribute to the class on the day of the party.

Please make sure you bring enough valentines for every child in the class, plus the teacher and classroom assistant. Your child’s class has 20 students. Please bring 22 valentine cards.

Valentines must follow these guidelines or they WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED. Please read these guidelines carefully before buying or making valentines. Children become understandably upset when they are not allowed to give out their valentines.

·        All cards from a child must be the same or similar. Children may not give “special” valentines to their best friends.

·        Valentines may not have negative or hateful messages.

·        Valentines may not be addressed to a particular child. They should be distributable at random.

·        Consistent with our school-wide ban on character clothing and items, valentines may not have pictures of licensed characters on them.

·        Valentines may not contain candy, toys, or other gifts.

·        Valentines should not be placed inside envelopes.

·        Your child should sign his or her name on each valentine.

If your child will be absent on the day of the party, his or her box will be placed out to collect valentines anyway, but to avoid classroom disruption, he or she will not be allowed to distribute valentines on another day.

Thank you for your cooperation! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Miss Perry

“How is this fun?” Kurt asked. “The whole point of Valentine’s Day is to get something special and meaningful and surprising. This is the exact opposite of that.”

“Actually, the point is that it’s a Catholic saint’s day,” Blaine said.

“I am not sacrificing one of my shoeboxes to this farce,” Kurt said. “Do you have anything Colin can use?”