Asher was the easiest, most laid-back baby any of them had ever seen. He rarely cried, and if he did it was for a specific reason and he sounded almost apologetic about it. He loved to be carried and held, but he was also perfectly content to be set down in his crib or simply on a quilt laid out on the floor. He even tolerated Colin’s exploratory pokes and prods, which of course were always under the close supervision of an adult. In the week he’d been home from the hospital, he’d been a wonderful addition to their family.

Kurt and Taylor were watching the baby wiggle around on the floor while Colin played with his Duplos nearby. “How could this calm little being have come from Rachel and Jesse?” Kurt asked. “Are we sure he wasn’t accidentally switched at birth?”

Blaine glared at him from the kitchen, where he was putting together some sandwiches for lunch. “Not funny. Cooper used to tell me that I was switched at birth, and I was deeply traumatized. Well, not that deeply. But it wasn’t fun.”

“Aww, sorry,” Kurt said. “I was just kidding.”

The doorbell rang. “Were you expecting someone?” Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head, so Blaine went over and peeked through the peephole in the front door. “I don’t see anyone,” he said, confused. He unlocked the door and opened it a crack. “What the …” he muttered, and then suddenly screamed, “Kurt!” He jumped over something and took off running down the apartment building’s corridor at full speed.

Alarmed, Kurt ran to the door. There was a portable infant carseat in the hallway right outside their door. With a baby in it. Kurt’s eyes widened in shock. He looked up, in the direction Blaine had run down the hall, just in time to see him fling out his arm to prevent the elevator doors from closing.

“That was rude, Blaine,” Brittany said from inside the elevator. “I’m double-parked.”

“Jesus Christ, Brittany!” Blaine said.

Brittany looked surprised. “Was Jesus dropped off in front of someone’s door, too? I was thinking more like Harry Potter.”

Blaine called down the hallway to Kurt. “Brittany and I are going to move her car, and then we will both be back.”

Brittany smiled at him. “Oh, that’s really sweet, but you don’t need to invite me in. I’m just going to head right back to Chicago. All the papers you’ll need are taped to her car seat. I put Kurt down as the father again, so there’s no problem leaving her here with you guys.”

“No, really,” Blaine said firmly right before the elevator doors closed. “You’re coming back to talk. I insist.”

Kurt bent down and unbuckled the car seat straps. The baby was dressed in a hospital-issue white onesie and socks, a shock of bright red hair on top of her head. He lifted her up and held her upright in front of him, legs dangling. She stared right back at him, unblinking. “Well look at you, little pixie,” he muttered.

“Could someone please tell me what is going on?” Taylor called from inside the apartment.

---------------------------------------

Brittany was sulking on the couch. “It’s all in the note I left. I don’t see why I need to be here. I was going to go out clubbing tonight in Chicago, but now I won’t be back in time.”

Kurt unfolded the note that had been inside the envelope taped to the carseat. It was written in crayon. He read aloud. “Oops! I did it again. Did you know an IUD can just fall out all by itself? I sure didn’t. Here’s my address for sending the adoption papers. Congratulations on your new baby, guys! I (heart) you.”

Kurt rubbed his hand on his forehead. “Brittany, did you seriously think you could just drop off a baby and leave? And we’re expected to just adopt it without any discussion?”

“Well, it’s your baby, Kurt. It says so right on the birth certificate. And she should be with her brother, anyway.” She looked at Asher, frowning. “Is that Colin? He looks different. Darker hair.”

“That is Asher,” Kurt snapped. “Colin is the one playing with the Legos. He is three years old. Which you would know if you had ever visited after he was born. They don’t stay babies, Brittany. They grow up.”

Colin looked up at hearing his name. He dragged a large bucket of Duplos over to where they were all sitting in the living room, then chose a red one carefully and held it out to Brittany.

“Hi there! I love Legos!” She slid down to the floor, her back against the couch, and started constructing a long chain of Lego bricks with him.

“Brit, do you have any idea who the father is?” Blaine asked. He rushed to add, anticipating her response. “I mean, the biological father. Were you dating someone about nine months ago? Maybe a guy with bright red hair?”

Brittany thought about it for a moment. “There was this one girl with bright red hair, Maeve. She was amazing. So incredibly flexible. She could do a complete split standing on one leg with her other leg up in the air and—”

“Okay,” Blaine cut her off. “But no men that you remember?”

“You don’t think Maeve is the biological father? It was pretty magical, if you ask me.”

Blaine sighed. As much as he loved Brittany, following her train of thought was exhausting for him.

Brittany looked up from the Legos. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Kurt’s name is on the birth certificate, so the adoption should be as easy as last time.”

“Brit,” Kurt said. “We have a new baby already. It’s not exactly the greatest time to adopt another one.”

“I figured that would make it easier,” she said. “You’re all set up for a new baby. I read all about it on facebook, saw the pictures of the redecorated nursery and the new stroller and everything, so I figured, if you’re ready for a baby, it should be no problem to do two at once. It’s such a great coincidence, how the timing worked out!”

“Um,” Taylor said from across the room where she was playing with the two babies. “She just peed through her outfit. Did you bring a change of clothes for her, or should I just pick out something relatively gender-neutral  from Asher’s wardrobe?”

Brittany shook her head.

“I …” Kurt hesitated. It was almost as much as giving in and agreeing. It was taking the step in his mind. But realistically, what could he do? How could they say no? How could they turn Brittany’s child, Colin’s sister, away? He stood up and went into the bathroom, opened the linen closet, and dug around the back until he found it.

He returned to the living room and sheepishly held out the dress, the one he’d bought when they all thought Rachel would have a girl. “She can wear this,” he said.

Blaine stared at him.

“I really wanted a girl,” Kurt admitted.

“Me too,” Blaine said softly.

Taylor picked up the baby, then walked over and took the dress from Kurt’s hands. “It’ll be just like having twins,” she said.

“I’ll call the attorney,” Blaine said.

“If it’s all settled, could someone let me out of this cage? I want to go home.” Kurt and Blaine turned to look at her, sitting on the floor. Colin had built a square wall entirely around her. Three Legos high, it would be like nothing to step over it. Colin was sitting in Brittany’s lap, leaning his head against her shoulder.

Blaine stared at them. “Do you think Colin knows?” he whispered to Kurt.

Kurt shook his head slowly. “How could he?”

“I’m getting the camera.”